The Internet Killed The Video Star
by Sascha-Gero
Summary: And apparently it also kills brain cells and the need to use common sense, as well as severely lowering one's standards for both life and relationships. :: APH Facebook Story
1. let's get it started

**"** the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**INSTRUCTION MANUAL:**

They're not just for Units, you know.

If you see something like this: **[Kiku Honda:** Is going to the bookstore downtown**]** that means its a status post. Anything underneath that are all response.

If you see something like this: **[Kiku Honda** || **Arthur Kirkland**: Konnichiwa, Arthur-san.**]** then it's a PM.

Friend requests and photo tagging will be stated directly.

And now, since this is set in an AU Gakuen setting with genderbent! characters - I have a feeling it's time to make a quick character directory.

Quick. Hn, I'm a liar.

And yeah, I probably forgot a few people, but I'll make sure I add them in later.

**EDITED SEVERAL TIMES OVER THE COURSE OF THE STORY BUT DEFINITELY EDITED AGAIN ON AUGUST 21st 2012.**

* * *

**CHARACTER DIRECTORY:**

**America (F)** :: Amelia F. Jones

**Canada (F)** :: Mathilde "Matilda" Williams

**England (M)** :: Arthur Kirkland

**Russia (M)** :: Ivan Braginski

**France (F)** :: Jeanette Bonnefoy

**Seychelles (M)** :: Jacques Espin

**Vietnam (F)** :: Vinh "Gloria" Quy

**China (M)** :: Yao Wang

**Hong Kong (M)** :: Xiang Wang

**Taiwan (Formosa) (F)** :: Mei "Mei-Mei" Wang

**South Korea (M)** :: Im Yong-Soo

**Japan (M)** :: Kiku Honda

**Germany (M)** :: Ludwig Beilschmidt

**North Italy (M)** :: Feliciano Vargas

**South Italy (M)** :: Lovino Vargas

**Spain (M)** :: Antonio Hernandez Carriedo

**Cuba (F) **:: Maxima "Imelda" Imelda Guadarrama Suarez

**Belgium (F)** :: Anri van der Meer

**Netherlands (Holland) (M)** :: Hendrik van der Meer

**Luxembourg (M)** :: Maximilian "Max" van der Meer

**Prussia (M)** :: Gilbert Beilschmidt

**Austria (F)** :: Renate "Ren" Edelstein

**Hungary (F)** :: Elizabeta Hedervary

**Romania (M)** :: Remus Anghelescu

**Switzerland (F)** :: Chantal Zwingli

**Liechtenstein (F) **:: Liane Zwingli

**Greece (F)** :: Hera Karpusi

**Egypt (F)** :: Omorose Hassan

**Turkey (F)** :: Lule Adnan

**Ukraine (M)** :: Chernenko Braginski

**Belarus (M)** :: Nikita Arvolskaya

**Lithuania (F)** :: Laima Laurinaitis

**Poland (M)** :: Feliks Łukasiewicz

**Estonia (M)** :: Eduard von Bock

**Latvia (F)** :: Madara Galante

**Denmark (M)** :: Andersen Densen

**Norway (F)** :: Maiken Bondevik

**Iceland (F)** :: Brynja "Bryn" Stilesson

**Finland (M)** :: Tino Väinämöinen

**Sweden (M)** :: Berwald Oxenstierna

**Sealand (M)** :: Peter Kirkland

**Scotland (M)** :: Adrian Kirkland

**Ireland (F)** :: Alannah Kirkland

**Wales (M)** :: Aeden Kirkland

* * *

**session one** :: let's get it started [_black eyed peas_]

- august 2nd

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones **_is now friends with_ **Gilbert Beilschmidt**.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'd ask why you're associating yourself with that fatuous git, but then I remembered your "perfect" judgment of character.

[**Yao Wang** _likes this_]

**Amelia F. Jones**: I'd ask what's up with the big words, then I remembered you're a cocky little wanker who likes to make himself feel like he's all big and mighty. XP

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_and_ **2** _other friends like this_]

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **||** Amelia F. Jones**: Yo, Ame. Ready for summer to end?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Hell no! XP You should know the answer to that!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: So, let's one-up autumn and throw a beach bash. :] Can't deny that it's an awesome idea~

**Amelia F. Jones**: You're right, I certainly can't. Wanna throw the invitations around through FB?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt:** Ah - but first come over so we can get the party details down, ja?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oh no problem, BTS. ACTIVATE SUPER SPEED!

* * *

**Amelia Jones**: Is over at Gil's place.

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _likes this_]

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**Antonio Carriedo: **Today would be the perfect day to grab my guitar and just relax...

**Lovino Vargas:** Che. Of course you'd want to lie your lazy ass around and not do anything, tomato bastard.

**Feliciano Vargas:** So mean, Lovi, so mean~ What did Fratello Antonio ever do to you~?

**Lovino Vargas:** HE EXISTS, DAMMIT. DX

[**Arthur Kirkland** _likes this_]

**Antonio Carriedo:** :( I'm hurt, Lovi! Are you just having a bad day again or something?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: When is he not having a bad day...

[**Antonio Carriedo** _and_ **12** _other friends like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: SUCK MY BALLS YOU DAMN POTATO EATER. D=

**Elizabeth Hedevary**: [/giggles] That's the best invitation you're ever going to get Ludwig!

* * *

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Is wondering what Bruder is doing upstairs.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Actually, Lud, I don't think you want to know... :]

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_and _**3** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Is making it rain - invites, of course! XD

[**Andersen Densen**_ and _**17**_ other friends __likes this_]

**Andersen Densen**: AWW YEAH, PARTY~

**Maiken Bondevik**: ... Oh no.

[**Berwald O****xenstierna **and **2** _others like this_]

**Antonio Carriedo**: I got the invitation too~!

**Arthur Kirkland**: No WAY in the name of Elizabeth the First am I going to this...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You don't exactly have a say in whether you're going or not. Because you are.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'd like to see you make me, twit.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesesese~ alright, but the awesome me isn't going to show you any mercy~

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Is plotting. Is plotting AWESOMELY.

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _likes this_]

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **|| **Adrian Kirkland**: Think you help me wrangle a certain bushy-eyebrowed person into going to my beach bash?

**Adrian Kirkland**: Oy, you WANT the buzzkill to go?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I just want to see him get drunk and do something stupid.

**Adrian Kirkland**: Oh, lookie here~ I've found duct tape!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesese! I'll bring the unmarked white van!

**Adrian Kirkland**: And the video camera!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Ja. Can't forget that. 8D

**Adrian Kirkland**: Think we can throw him off a cliff while we're at it?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... XD

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: We'll plan THAT later. XD

* * *

**Adrian Kirkland**: Is feeling evil~

[******Gilbert Beilschmidt **_likes this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: I really wish Facebook would add a Dislike button... :\

* * *

Pairing ideas, anyone? I don't feel like deciding them myself and I don't have any ideas at the moment. Whether it be pairings or pairings that lead up to other pairings... I have a few in mind but I like my stories to be interactive. XD

And this story has officially be disclaimed. =D TTFN.

[**dalca **_has logged off_]

[**dalca **_has logged on_]

... You know, reading through of my earlier author's notes just shows me how completely obnoxious and un-funny I was. Which makes me love you even more, but you put up with me regardless. :D

And Goddamn, do I abuse smilies like its not tomorrow! I need to work on that...


	2. riot

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

**EDITED ON AUGUST 21st 2012**

* * *

**natcat5. **i'm sure Amelia will make sure that there is no tossing Arthur off a cliff - as long as Ivan doesn't get involved of course. xD **RubberChi.** Why thank you. I'm sure Gilbert will be happy that his legacy has spread. :) **ChaoticLight.** Of course it's not a bother, I did ask, didn't I? I'll try to hint at as many pairings as I can and I may eventually put a poll up on my profile and see about final pairings. But I will most definitely take your suggestions into consideration. Thank you! :) **Little Patch of Heaven.** It is quite fun to write. And I love genderbending them too - the anime is way too guy-heavy at times. I don't mind it, but I wish there were more females. Ooh, a Jeanette x Arthur x Amelia love triangle? I'm interested. :) As for Gilbert and Adrian, that would be funny to try. Adrian's actually a guy though. XD I went and looked up some popular Scottish names and apparently Adrian was one of them - and it was for a boy too, so I simply went with it. I was thinking of using some fanon pairings as well, however, I have a thing for crack pairings and trying to make them work. For example, my favorite crack pairing at the moment is Netherlands x England, so... yeah. XD Expect some really random pairing situations as well. Oh and no problem. While some genderbends I actually like more than the original character (like Hera), Arthur's a character that works far better as a male - and I feel the same with Lovino, although I have seen some decent Lovino genderbends.

* * *

**chapter two** :: riot [_three days grace_]

- august 3rd

* * *

**Matilda Williams** _is now friends with _**Arthur Kirkland** _and_ **5** _others._

**Arthur Kirkland**: Finally! I sent you that request six days ago.

**Matilda Williams**: I haven't been on Facebook since I made it.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: And why not? =/

**Matilda Williams**: I was coerced into making it.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Amelia again?

**Matilda Williams**: Who else, Arthur?

[**Amelia F. Jones **_likes this_]

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesesese~ Matilda~

**Matilda Williams**: Oh no... you have something evil planned don't you?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: MATILDA~!

**Matilda Williams**: Now I'm concerned for someone's well-being.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Why, madamosille? You have nothing to worry about.

**Matilda Williams**: Oh yes I do. =\

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Matilda, you remember that party invite I sent you? Well, Arthur doesn't want to go.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: And the little punk needs to be social, non? XD

**Matilda Williams**: This has "illegal" written ALL over it...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Wait. Is kidnapping and attempted murder illegal?

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... NO. IT'S NOT.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Awesome~ Let's do it, Jean!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh in the name of - YOU IDIOTS.

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt** _and _**4** _others like this_]

* * *

**Matilda Williams** || **Arthur Kirkland**: Need somewhere to hide until their megalomania recedes?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I was just about to ask that myself.

**Matilda Williams**: Amelia's not home - hurry over before Gilbert gets there.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I owe you one, love.

* * *

**Matilda Williams**: Is home alone.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _likes this_]

* * *

**Adrian Kirkland**: BLAST IT - HE'S GONE. LI'L YELLOW TWAT!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: No worries - the party's in three days. We have plenty of time to corner him.

**Adrian Kirkland**: I just want REVENGE. DX

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Tell the awesome Beilschmidt what the problem was~

**Adrian Kirkland**: He swapped out the little donut-things Jeanette gave me for his scones. I've been sick ALL DAY.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: That is completely inhumane! What, is he TRYING to kill you?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: And for the record they are called beignets. =D

**Adrian Kirkland**: YES. I SAY REVENGE.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I dare you to do something, wanker.

[**Aisling Kirkland** _likes this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: OY! COME OVER HERE AND FIGHT YOU CHICKENWUSS.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Go rot in a hole somewhere. Preferably one that goes to the centre of the Earth. XD

[**Aisling Kirkland **_and _**1** _other likes this_]

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones**: Is wondering why the HELL Arthur Kirkland is in her house - WITH HER SISTER.

[**Yao Wang **_and_ **6** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: BLOODY 'ELL - YOU BLEW MY COVER. DX

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt **_likes this_]

**Matilda Williams**: Amelia, you made that sound far worse than it actually is. O_O

**Amelia F. Jones**: OHMAGAWD. You two are going out again. I KNEW IT! XD

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... [/sigh] I'd tell her it's not true, Matilda, but, she wouldn't believe us.

**Matilda Williams**: I'm aware of this fact, Arthur.

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones** ||** Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Omigod, JEANETTE. BREAKING NEWS. _

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oui?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Wilkland is back together. O_O

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... What is "Wilkland"?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Williams and Kirkland. Mattie and Artie. BACK. TOGETHER. I KNOW IT.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... Oh.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yo, what's up? You sound disappointed. D=

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... What? Non, non, I am not. Don't you worry.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: So spill the gossip, mon ami! I must know before Feliks does.

* * *

Character arc is planned! I'm thinking of a possible Jeanette arc right now. ^_^ The Jeanette arc will probably be have a lot of allusions to Jeanette x Arthur and maybe another pairing as well. And it's going to be far more serious than these first couple of chapters, which mostly deal with character introductions and the inevitable beach party (of awesomeness). Either way, keep reading, keep reviewing. And most importantly, keep your status posts updated. =D

_^ And that last sentence, ladies and gentlemen, is why I try to avoid self-promoting now. [/shudder]_

[**dalca **_has logged off]_


	3. ignorance

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

**EDITED ON AUGUST 21 2012.**

* * *

**phomma-chan. **Problem solved. Why, were you trying to post a comment without logging on? Yeah, I like doing that too. It's annoying otherwise. No, incest usually isn't my thing... I've only written it once before and I always find it kinda of awkward. Although Amelia and Matilda are actually stepsisters... Oh, finally! A fellow fan. For a moment I felt as if I was the only one. =D And Arthur's not short, he's fun-sized. Everyone knows that. I'm not sure whether it will be unrequited or not. For now, though, it is. Thank you for your input, I appreciate your commentary gratefully. **Little Patch of Heaven.** Yes, Adrian's a guy. I was surfing around deviantart for visual aid (excuses to go look up pictures of Arthur and Antonio) and I found a drawing that someone did for Scotland, and well, I automatically fell in love. Well, thank you. I'm very glad you like it. :) Ahaha, I like Wirkland too. It's a really cute pairing, but you never see it unless you're looking for it due to the onslaught of USUK or USCan. Actually, now that I think about, the chance of anyone just randomly writing a UKCan fanfiction isn't very high... **Appropriate Exclamation.** Ah, look at that. The update genie has created a new chapter for you! :) Thank you so much for your review!

* * *

**session three** :: ignorance [_paramore_]

- august 4th

* * *

**Matilda Williams** _is in a relationship with _**Arthur Kirkland**.

**Matilda Williams**: ... O_O

**Arthur Kirkland**: Ah, Matilda? Pray tell me WHY this is up here...?

**Matilda Williams**: I - I didn't do that!

**Amelia F. Jones**: Like my handiwork, Mattie? XD

**Kiku Honda**: Ah, congratulations, Matilda-san.

**Matilda Williams**: N-n-no, Kiku... Arthur and I aren't dating.

* * *

**Matilda Williams **_is single_.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: My oh my, over so quickly?

**Matilda Williams**: [/sigh] Sometimes I wish Gilbert would be more interested in kidnapping my sister...

[**Ivan Braginski** _and_ **19** _others like this_]

* * *

**Ivan Braginski**: Is having fun on this Facebook site. =D

**Matilda Williams**: Oh, hello, Ivan. :)

**Ivan Braginski**: Hello to you too, Matilda~! What are you doing?

**Matilda Williams**: Changing my password.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _likes this_]

**Yao Wang**: Ah, ni hao Ivan. You're on this too?

**Ivan Braginski**: Da. I heard from Amelia about this very fun activity called Mafia Wars, so I decided to join.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh~ look at that. I leveled up again~!

**Yao Wang**: ... Is anyone else suddenly terrified for their lives...?

[**Madara Galante **_and _**31** _others like this_]

* * *

**Madara Galante**: Is thankful that Mafia Wars isn't a real game.

[**Laima Laurinaitis **_likes this_]

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Very thankful...

**Edward von Bock**: I have to agree with you...

**Edward von Bock**: Wait. If I'm not mistaken, isn't one of the locations in Russia?

**Madara Galante**: ... I - I HOPE NOT. O.O

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oh GOD. If there was a Moscow area, Ivan would godmode that like WHOA. XD

**Laima Laurinaitis**: T-T-That's nothing to be excited over! =O

* * *

**Xiang Wang**: ... Why am I on this? This is pointless.

**Yao Wang**: Xiang, you're here too! 8D

**Xiang Wang**: Logging off NOW.

**Yao Wang**: So antisocial... [/pouts]

**Ivan Braginsky**: I am here for socializing. ^_^

**Yao Wang**: ... Of course you are.

* * *

**Yao Wang**: AIYAAH! HOW DOES IVAN KEEP GETTING INTO MY BEDROOM!

[**Ivan Braginski** _and _**3**_ others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Because he's a creeper...?

**Kiku Honda**: Because of the panda suit...?

**Hera Karpusi**: Because... you always let him in the house anyway...?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Ohonhon~

**Yao Wang**: NO! You and your sick little French mind...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Whose mind are you calling little, dear?

**Yao Wang**: YOURS. WHO ELSES. -_-

* * *

**Ivan Braginski** _is in a relationship with _**Yao Wang**.

**Ivan Braginski**: ? I did not put that there.

**Yao Wang**: ?

**Kiku Honda**: ! You... and him? Really Yao-kun?

**Yao Wang**: It is so not like that...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Ask Amelia if it's her. She hacked into Matilda's account and put the two of us in a relationship.

* * *

**Ivan Braginski** || **Amelia F. Jones**: Amelia. Did you hack into my Facebook account and change my relationship status?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Nope. I don't even know your password. Why, did the person put you and Yao together? Or you and NATALIA~

**Ivan Braginski**: ...

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh no. No no no no no no no no no...

**Ivan Braginski**: NO. Don't ever suggest such a horrible thing!

**Amelia F. Jones**: Wow. She's gotta be a total freak if she's got you scared.

**Ivan Braginski**: You don't even know the beginning of it... T_T

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas **|| **Lovino Vargas**: Lovi~ have you seen Antonio anywhere?

**Lovino Vargas**: No. Why?

**Feliciano Vargas**: I can't find him! I went to his house and I asked his mother but he's not there! And he said we were going to the park today!

**Feliciano Vargas**: D-Did something happen to him? T_T

**Lovino Vargas**: No! I don't know!

**Feliciano Vargas**: And he's not with Jeanette or Gilbert either!

**Lovino Vargas**: ... ... FUCK, THIS IS SERIOUS. =O

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo**: Is still unable to believe what he's just found! XD

[**Feliciano Vargas **_and_ **5**_ others like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

**Antonio Carriedo**: You were worried? =D

[**Feliciano Vargas**_ likes this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: He was! He was more worried about you than I was!

**Lovino Vargas**: OHMYDAMNGOD - Feli. SHUT UP.

**Lovino Vargas**: So where did you go, tomato bastard?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Ah, ah, Lovi. Can't tell you yet. It's a surprise.

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Just tell me, damn it!

**Antonio Carriedo**: I cannot do that, Lovi. Just wait and see!

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yay~ I love surprises! [/claps]

**Lovino Vargas**: ...

* * *

**Lovino Vargas**: IS NOT AMUSED, DAMN IT. ]=

[**Antonio Carriedo** _likes this_]

* * *

Slightly longer than the last one, however, I just HAD to include the part about Antonio running off. Why? Because it deals with something in the future. Not the near future, though, sometime later. Oh, and I'll probably do one more chapter before going into the beach party, and then starting Jeanette's arc. :) I can't wait. Jeanette's arc has to do with what Antonio found, by the way, so stay tuned for those hints as well. TTFN!

[**dalca** _has logged off_]


	4. not strong enough

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

* * *

**Audacity-cupcakE. **Thank you! Google Translate finally didn't fail me. :) I love Spamano too, and I'll try to include it, but I'm recently very into Germano, so that might be in there as well. Thank you for your review, I appreciate it! **phomma-chan.** HA. She wishes she had one. XD Well, now all you have to do is wait for one chapter, and that should be out Friday at the very latest. Although... I do like the idea of her stealing his school uniform... I'm going to have to use that. Thanks for the idea!

* * *

**session four** :: not strong enough [_apocalyptica_]

- august 4th

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **|| **Adrian Kirkland**: Party is tomorrow. You pysched or what?

**Adrian Kirkland**: Wouldn't be like me if I wasn't.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: So true. We're still up for kidnapping Arthur, right?

**Adrian Kirkland**: Oh yeah. XD

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I WOULD ask if we could also swing by and grab my brother too, but Feliciano convinced him otherwise. So I say we should also take my cousin - because I don't think she even knows where the beach IS.

**Adrian Kirkland**: Who's your cuz?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Renate Edelstein. Then, we can use her for bait and nab Chantal Zwingli as well, 'cause she's not going to come willingly either.

**Adrian Kirkland**: You shoulda told me this earlier, lad. We're going to need a bigger van!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: And more duct tape. XD

**Adrian Kirkland**: Hn. We don't have to worry 'bout the duct tape. We're good. =D

* * *

**Matilda Williams** || **Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Hey Gilbert.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Yo! Hey Birdie, how are you?

**Matilda Williams**: Fine, and yourself?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Awesome like always! Especially because the party is tomorrow!

**Matilda Williams**: Yeah, Ame's excited too. :) And the excitement is contagious.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Don't forget your bathing suit!

**Matilda Williams**: Ah! Thanks for the reminder - I need to go buy another one.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: What's up? Why do you need another?

**Matilda Williams**: The string on mine BROKE last week. How pathetic is that?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh no problem, ja? We can fix that right anyway.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You + me + bathing suit shopping = a lot of fun. =D

**Matilda Williams**: I said I wanted to buy a swimsuit. I didn't say I wanted to be molested.

* * *

**(Mobile) Matilda Williams**: Is shopping with Jeanette.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: WHAT? You're shopping with JEAN?

**Antonio Carriedo**: ? Jealous much?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yeah, Gil, what's the problem?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Matilda told me she didn't want to take me because she DIDN'T want to get molested. And she took JEANETTE. BONNEFOY.

[**Matilda Williams **_and_ **11**_ others like this_]

**Matilda Williams**: Something tells me this wasn't a good idea... :)

**Yao Wang**: Not to be rude, Amelia, but NO, that wasn't a good idea.

**Feliciano Vargas**: But Jeanette's so nice~!

[**Antonio Carriedo **_likes this_]

**Matilda Williams**: Yao, I'm Matilda... -_-

[**Kiku Honda **_and _**16** _others like this_]

**Yao Wang**: Oh! Of course you are! Sorry, I just... I don't know how I mixed that up. =/

**Matilda Williams**: It's okay. I can't name a person who hasn't done it once...

* * *

**(Mobile) Matilda Williams** || **Amelia F. Jones**: Hey, I'm on my way home.

**Amelia F. Jones**: OMG - you've been gone for three hours!

**Matilda Williams**: I know... but oh well, I'm here now.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oh come ON, Matilda, it does NOT take three hours to buy a swimsuit.

**Amelia F. Jones**: You were secretly sneaking around with Arthur, weren't you? I KNEW IT! XD

**Matilda Williams**: Actually I wasn't. YOU were sneaking around with him.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Uh, what? That doesn't make sense!

**Matilda Williams**: Exactly.

* * *

**Jeanette Bonnefoy **|| **Matilda Williams**: Actually, Mattie, I can name ONE person who hasn't ever mixed you two up.

**Matilda Williams**: Who? You've done it too!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: When I was drunk though. But even Gilbert can tell the different no matter how hammered he is.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: You know he loves you right?

**Matilda Williams**: Mmhm. Amelia says that too - and 99% of the time she doesn't mean it.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, do not start with the angsting again...

**Matilda Williams**: Well, that's a start, eh? You just remember me as Amelia's angst-ridden shadow.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... That's why you were quiet the whole ride home. You were thinking about this, weren't you?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: You're not Amelia's shadow. You're Mathilde Williams, you are your own gorgeous, stunning, beautiful person. Why is it that other people can understand that, yet you cannot?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Mathilde? Are you there?

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo** || **Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Hola~

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Bonjour.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Why so sad, mi amor?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Matilda confuses me sometimes...

**Antonio Carriedo**: I have something to show you, Jeanette. :) I have to show you tomorrow, because it's kind of late.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Is it what you mentioned to me earlier?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Exactly! =D I'll take you after the beach party, alright?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Alright... can you give me a hint?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Hmm... only if you do something for me in return... ;)

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I have a feeling I'm going to like this proposition... ;)

* * *

**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _is in a relationship with_ **Antonio Carriedo**.

**Arthur Kirkland**: What the -? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: It's the three of us, Arthur. We interchangably date like this ALL the time!

**Arthur Kirkland**: I will NEVER understand the logic behind this.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: And that is why you're still single, Eyebrows.

* * *

Is excited. Beach party is next, then the Jeanette arc. :) And this was actually supposed to be a lot more of a humorous chapter, but somehow between here and there, this is what I got. I was going to go back and change it because it sounds almost overdramatic, but once I read it over, I liked it too much. Matilda is supposed to be kinda angsty anyway... oh, and about her name. Her real name is Mathilde, but whenever her dad and Amelia's mom got married, Amelia insisted on "Americanizing" her name and changed it to Matilda. The only person who really calls her Mathilde is Ivan and Jeanette. And that's all the footnotes I have this time around. Adios~! Oh and for some reason, the alignment isn't working right today. Oh well, I suppose.

_Oh, Matilda... why so moe? Seriously, she's quite adorable. Although I am contemplating my name choice for her... I like Matilda, but Marguerite is just so cute. Hmm..._

[**dalca** _has logged off_]


	5. turn it up

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

* * *

**RasalynnLynx****. **I have a character directory (that I probably need to edit soon anyway. I forgot some people) on the first chapter. Some of the names aren't their usual Nyotalia names (such as Emily for America or Francine for France) but it's not too hard to get. Plus, the last names are a give-away. [/laughs] Oh, really? I just scrawled that down from memory. It also doesn't help that I take Spanish, so... :) Oh thank you! I tried to tone down some aspects of them and amplify others so it fit them better. Oh right! Lovino in Mafia Wars! I completely forgot about that. I think I need for Denmark (Andersen) to start playing that as well. XD **TrueDespair.** Well, I'm glad you see Amelia and Arthur's relationship that way. That means I'm doing it right! I wanted them to have an intense and childish rivalry like such, which balances out the subtler one that he has with Jeanette. I feel bad for Tilda too, but I remembered that Canada has a lot of issues with being mistaken for Amelia and basically being in her shadow most of the time. That would make me a little angsty as well. Oh no, Gilbert with a blog... that I find to be hilarious. XD Now... to crank this up to the Maximum AWESOME level... he and Feliks should co-host a blog... Brilliant idea is brilliant! =)** phomma-chan.** Yeah, the pairings are kind of random right now, but there's a reason for that. Since my mind on pairings seems to flip-flop more than a fish out of water, I'm going to mostly focus on past relationships than present ones. However, I will hint at a myriad of different pairings, and then I'll probably have my readers pick the final pairings. **Little Patch of Heaven.** Oh yes. Tomatoes and tempers will fly. XD And yes, Arthur does sound VERY jealous. Maybe Amelia does need to spend extra time with him to cure him of his jealousy! I like the PruCan moments too. I've only just started to read about the pairing and whatnot, and now that I have, I like it. Opposites attract, I suppose. =) **FranceGirl.** Is this a good time to mention that I like your username? XD Even funnier considered the fact that I genderbended France. Since I doubt that they would be trying to party and update their Facebook statuses at the same time, I more or less wrote before the party and after. While Jeanette and Co. are in the Bonnefoy house, the Asians and the Eastern Europeans will go over some more party details. :) **Eternally1Yours.** I'm glad you like it! That makes me very happy. Just wait until I get into Jeanette's arc - it's going to be extra fun with the playlist I have for it. :)

... Should I also post a WALL OF TEXT warning...? -_-

* * *

**session five** :: turn it up [_ciara_]

- august 5th  
**

* * *

**

**Antonio Carriedo** _and _**15** _others have joined the group _**APH**.

**Amelia F. Jones**: What does APH even stand for Gil?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Dunno - they were just awesome letters. ^_^

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: That's a rather pathetic reason for such an anagram.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: It's not pathetic... :(

**Antonio Carriedo**: Yeah, I like it. :)

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: See? I have SOME support!

**Feliciano Vargas**: I support it too~!

**Lovino Vargas**: I don't.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**2 **_others like this_]

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Finish this statement: Let's party like it's -

**Amelia F. Jones**: The hero says LET'S PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999!

**Matilda Williams**: You mean heroine.

**Amelia F. Jones**: What? What did I do to you that was so mean?

**Matilda Williams**: ...

**Amelia F. Jones**: I'm NOT a drug, thank YOU!

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_likes this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh you twat - do you NOT see the "e" at the end? That's a completely different word!

**Arthur Kirkland**: A HEROINE (notice the e) is a female hero. What you're talking about is the drug, which is heroin (notice the lack of an e).

**Amelia F. Jones**: What don't you just call me a heroess or something? That's not as confusing! :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: That's retarded, Amelia.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Psh! You're retarded, Artie!

[**Ivan Braginski **_and_ **1** _other like this]_

**Arthur Kirkland**: Your brain is retarded.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Your FACE is retarded. DX

[**Antonio Carriedo** _and_ **3** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Your mom is retarded.

**Amelia F. Jones**: YOUR BROTHER IS RETARDED!

**Arthur Kirkland**: I KNOW he's retarded.

[**Ludwig Beilschmit** _and _**5**_ others like this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: . . . DISLIKE. XP

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmit** || **Kiku Honda**: You got the camera, right?

**Kiku Honda**: Of course, Gilbert-san.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Gilbert-san. So formal~ :) Anyway, you need a ride to the beach?

**Kiku Honda**: No, no, Yao is taking me. Thank you for the offer.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Great. This will be AWESOMELY LEGENDARY. =D

**Kiku Honda**: It most certainly shall be.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmit **|| **Adrian Kirkland**: Got everything?

**Adrian Kirkland**: You know it. ;)

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: YES! So, who are we taking first?

**Adrian Kirkland**: Let's take Chantal first. We can perfect our kidnapping technique with her.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Good idea! ... Hopefully Renate doesn't try to intervene...

**Adrian Kirkland**: What d'you mean there?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: It's all a rumor of course... BUT I heard something very interesting about Chantal and Renate...

* * *

**Ludwig Beilschmit** || **Renate Edelstein**: I suggest you hide somewhere. Bruder is planning something...

**Renate Edelstein**: When is he not?

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Yes, but this involves you. Not only that, but he has also gotten Adrian Kirkland involved as well...

**Renate Edelstein**: I'm not concerned. I'll just ask Elizabeta to help me deal or him...

**Renate Edelstein**: Or Chantal. She just sent me a message. I'll converse with you later, if that's acceptable for you.

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: I wouldn't take that message if I were you, Ren...

* * *

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli** || **Renate Edelstein**: I'm coming over.

**Renate Edelstein**: For what, Chantal?

**Chantal Zwingli**: Are you going to Gilbert's beach party?

**Renate Edelstein**: I wasn't planning on doing so...

**Chantal Zwingli**: You don't have much of a choice.

**Renate Edelstein**: You become stranger and stranger as the days pass, Chan...

**Chantal Zwingli**: I'm here. Answer your door.

**Renate Edelstein**: Alright then. I'll be downstairs shortly.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Is successful~

**Adrian Kirkland**: Yeah, we are!

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Two down, one to go. Arthur better watch his back.

[**Adrian Kirkland** _likes this_]

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones **||** Arthur Kirkland**:Ready for the party, Artie?

**Arthur Kirkland**: No.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oh Artie~ stop being a buzzkill! Go out and have some FUN for a change!

**Arthur Kirkland**: You can't convince me otherwise.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yes I can~

**Arthur Kirkland**: No you candkdjtughi,,,,,,,,,,,

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... What is THAT supposed to mean?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Change of plans. Maybe I WILL go. ^_^

**Amelia F. Jones**: Okay! See ya there Artie!

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Is officially getting this party started!

[**Andersen Densen** _and_ **23** _others like this_]

* * *

**Kiku Honda **_tagged _**Amelia F. Jones** _and _**Jeanette Bonnefoy**_ in a photo._

**Amelia F. Jones**: Aw! I like that picture!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Cute, no?

**Amelia F. Jones**: HEY. What's the bunny ears, Jean?

* * *

**Kiku Honda **_tagged _**Matilda Williams** _in a photo._

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: And of course you look gorgeous, Mathilde, I picked out the swimsuit myself! . :)

**Matilda Williams**: Yes, you did. You also made me wish I'd taken Gilbert with me instead.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, tu sais je t'aime. ;)

**Matilda Williams**: Oui, je t'aime trop. ;)

**Amelia F. Jones**: I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Speak American!

**Arthur Kirkland**: American's not a language, Amelia...

[**Matilda Williams** _likes this_]

* * *

**Kiku Honda **_tagged _**Laima Laurinaitis** _and_ **Feliks Łukasiewicz**_ in a photo_.

**Feliks Łukasiewicz**: That is the most adorable picture ever~

**Laima Laurinaitis**: I like the giant heart we made in the sand. :)

**Edward von Bock**: It's rather cute.

**Feliks Łukasiewicz**: Yeah, but the stupid waves erased, like, half of it after the picture was taken! So not cool. :(

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Oh well... at least we have the picture...

**Feliks Łukasiewicz**: And, like, each other. =D

**Laima Laurinaitis**: That too!

* * *

**Kiku Honda** _tagged _**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _in a photo_.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Wow. Kiku's an amazing photographer...

**Kiku Honda**: Hai. Thank you, Arthur-san.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... You made Jeanette look like an angel.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh? You think so?

**Arthur Kirkland**: And I thought that was impossible. Well, Kiku, you do have a habit of proving me wrong...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, of course. Sarcastic as ever.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Hmph. Ignore him, Jean. I think it's beautiful, no sarcasm included.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Aw~ j'taime Antonio. ;)

**Antonio Carriedo**: Te amo tambien, Jean! ;)

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... UCH. You two make me SICK. :(

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo** || **Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Hola. Ready for the surprise now? =)

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I've been waiting! What is it?

**Antonio Carriedo**: It's this old house I found on Paris Avenue. :)

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh that? Everyone knows where that is, Antonio. -_-

**Antonio Carriedo**: Do you know the name of it?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: No...

**Antonio Carriedo**: It's called the BONNEFOY house, Jean.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... It isn't. No, Antonio, so what if it is? That has nothing to do with me!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Jean... do I have to point out the name again~?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: No. NO. That - that house has nothing to do with me. I'll - I'll prove it to you. I do not know HOW but I WILL.

**Antonio Carriedo**: You're over-reacting a bit...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I am not! Tomorrow, at 7, meet me in front of the house. I WILL prove otherwise. It's just a name. That's all it is!

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo**: Is starting to regret telling Jeanette about the Bonnefoy house...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Tch. Let me guess. She went off her rocker on you, didn't she?

**Antonio Carriedo**: You have NO idea...

* * *

**special agent akane**: Is not posting anything here to further increase the obnoxious suspenseful power known as "The Cliffhanger". Ciao~! XD

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]


	6. i hate everything about you

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

I own the Bonnefoy House as well. XD

* * *

**TrueDespair.** I enjoyed writing that. ^_^ The rivalry lives on! And I'm sure that Adrian will also find some way to get back at Arthur for saying that. Actually APH doesn't stand for Axis Powers Hetalia like you think it would. Gilbert will eventually come up with what that means. :) Arthur's reaction was my favorite line in the whole chapter. Originally, Antonio was going to just tease Arthur about him and Jeanette, then I decided to have them BOTH do it and that's what popped up in my head. **RasalynnLynx.** Don't you mean Andersen? :) I remember it because it sounds a bit like his last name, which is Densen. And it's easier to spell than the other Nordics. The kidnapping was hard to capture on Facebook, but I tried. XD Good thing kidnapping's not illegal, right Gilbert? ;) The Bonnefoy house is a bit complicated to explain... and even more so to do over Facebook. It's fun trying to make actual life stories in such an abstract way. ^_^ **phomma-chan**. Oh, phomma, the KIRKLANDS live the Bonnefoy House! XD No worries, more shall be explained next chapter!

* * *

**session six** :: i hate everything about you [_three days grace_]

- august 7th  
**

* * *

**

**Amelia F. Jones** || **Arthur Kirkland**: Did you get that strange message from Jeanette?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I was reading it when you messaged me.

**Amelia F. Jones**: I'm pysched! I've always wanted to go to the Bonnefoy house!

**Arthur Kirkland**: But you're scared of ghosts. -_-

**Amelia F. Jones**: Psh. PLEASE. There aren't any ghosts there.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmit** || **Antonio Carriedo**: So how many ghosts are in the house?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Seven.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Seven? No way... you've gotta be kidding, ja?

**Antonio Carriedo**: No, I'm not. There's really seven.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: That's a lot of ghosts. And death.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Si, es verdad.

* * *

**Chantal Zwingli** || **Renate Edelstein**: This is bull.

**Renate Edelstein**: Hm? I'm actually interested. Normally, I'm not a fan of ghost stories but this one is classic.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Yeah, because 4 murders and 3 suicides is NORMAL.

**Renate Edelstein**: That's not what I meant. You're being quite negative about this.

**Chantal Zwingli**: You want me to enjoy being in a haunted house? Hell no. Jeanette can go BITE me.

**Renate Edelstein**: Don't tell her to do so.

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas** || **Lovino Vargas**: Ready for the trip?

**Lovino Vargas**: Che. As long as we don't run into anything... Antonio said we wouldn't...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve~ are you scared, fratello?

**Lovino Vargas**: N-NO!

**Lovino Vargas**: maybe... YES! I'M FUCKING TERRIFIED!

**Feliciano Vargas**: It's okay, fratello~! If Antonio says we'll be okay, than we'll be okay!

**Lovino Vargas**: THAT'S WHY I'M SCARED, FELI!

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo** || **Gilbert Beilschmit**: So, tell me a bit about the ghosts.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Well, there's the actual Bonnefoy family, which is Lisette, Lothaire, Louis, Thomas, and Charlemagne. Then there were three others. Bridgetta Ramone, Autumn Rilles and Micheline Maude.

**Antonio Carriedo**: And all but Charlemagne died.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: NOT awesome.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Haha, you just took the words straight out of my mouth!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Wait. Charlemagne. Why does that sound familiar...?

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmit **|| **Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Team's all assembled!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Who is going along with us?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: It's me, Toni, bruder, Feli, Lovi, Mattie, Ame, Artie, Chan, and Ren.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... What language is that in so I can translate it?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: What, Google Translate doesn't have Prussian as an option. SO NOT AWESOME. =(

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Hm. ^_^ So tell me, in terms I understand, who is coming?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Me. The Spanish Stallion. Ludwig. The Vargas Brothers. Your "Mathilde". Amelia. Arthur. Chantal. and Renate.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: My "Mathilde"?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: I don't know why you call her that.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: That's her real name, Gil!

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Wait. WHAT?

* * *

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Is about to prove Antonio wrong. :)

**Antonio Carriedo**: Ah, ah, Jeanita. I've already proved YOU wrong and we haven't even set foot in the house!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh really? How so?

**Antonio Carriedo**: There was only one member of the Bonnefoy estate who survived, named Charlemagne Bonnefoy.

**Antonio Carriedo**: This Charlemagne Bonnefoy is ALSO your great-grandfather, Jeanette.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**9** _others like this_]

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Aller en Enfer! I'm going to the house now.

**Renate Edelstein**: Which makes you the one who is going to Hell, not Antonio.

* * *

**special agent everest**: This was easy to write. For some reason, writing all this tension is easier to do than writing comedy. Believe it or not. Next chapter is going to be fun. I already have it planned out in my head. :) In fact, I might even have it up by tomorrow. Next chapter they actually go INSIDE the house and start looking for Micheline, Thomas, and Bridgetta. Oh, and anyone who likes the fangame RomaHeta: the official OSTs were posted on YouTube. I've been listening to them the whole time I was writing this. :)

[**special agent everest**_ has logged off_]


	7. monster

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

I own the Bonnefoy House as well. XD

Oh, and did I ever mention how much I love my readers? Ti amo~!

* * *

**FranceGirl.** A HetaOni vibe? Funny, I haven't watched HetaOni in a while. I need to finish it. ^_^ Well, in this case, I hereby dub thee Jeanette. XD May your love for British boys prosper. **Etenally1Yours.** Hmm, I like this arc too. I don't know who to focus on next, so I'll probably have you all choose. I like my stories to have a degree of interactivity (that's what happens after you come here from Quizilla). **Yousha.** Why thank you. I'm very glad that you appreciate this as much as I appreciate your review. :) **DatMapleLeaf.** You do? ^_^ That's amazing. My friends and I roleplay it as well. I'm Spain, ironically enough, although I was almost Romano. I'm not THAT cranky. :) Oh really? Good. So that means I'm accurate. [/laughs] **MattsyKunTehZebra.** Actually, this chapter's more suspenseful than funny in my opinion, but fortunately Lovino provides some comic relief (like he always does! that's why we love you lovi). Hope you enjoy it, nevertheless! **TrueDespair.** Poor Amelia. If she had read that conversation between Gilbert and Toni, she would be using Arthur as a human shield the entire thing. XD Thank Goodness she didn't. Well, if Germany x Russia can exist, so can Chantal and Renate. That's how I see it. (The Germany x Russia fanfiction I read was actually pretty good. The pairing just startled me a bit.) Lovino seems to be a bigger chicken than Feli is, so that's how I portray them. But while Feli will openly admit to being upset, Lovino will fight you over it, even if its obvious. Mmhm. Gilbert, you oblivious, lovable, AWESOME you. Yes, that's why. Jeanette doesn't want all of that misery tied to her, because Jeanette tends to get depressed easily. I do however want her to get something positive out of this - so I have a plan for that. **Little Patch of Heaven.** Your wish for a jealous Lovino has been granted. ^_^ It's more obvious in this chapter. Oh, Arthur is SO jealous. He's eventually going to find a way to seek revenge. No way he's taking THIS lying down. It's funny how you'll dislike a pairing one day then grow to love it later. Like, I'm not an incest fan, but Itacest just manages to always get me. I was a way bigger fan of UKCan before I started writing this. Then I actually went to go see what the deal was with PruCan and BAM. Instant fangirl. Well then, wait no longer, my dear! The fun is only beginning!

* * *

**session seven** :: monster [_skillet_]

- august 7th  
**

* * *

**

**(M****obile) Antonio Carriedo** || **Lovino Vargas**: Hola~ You ready? I'm swinging by your house to pick you up.

**Lovino Vargas**: NO. I'm not ready.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Well, get ready! We're going to have the paranormal adventure of a lifestyle!

**Lovino Vargas**: ARGH, NO, I DON'T WANNA!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Scared, mi amigo? No worries, Espana will hold you, okay?

**Lovino Vargas**: NO. Don't fucking touch me you stupid whore!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Que paso? Why so angry, mi tomate?

**Lovino Carriedo**: Just... go rot somewhere! DX

* * *

**(Mobile) Renate Edelstein** || **Chantal Zwingli**: Here I am.

**Chantal Zwingli**: You're terrified.

**Renate Edelstein**: Tch. I am not.

**Chantal Zwingli**: I'm looking right at you**. **You're shaking like a leaf, twit.

**Renate Edelstein**: The pot calling the kettle black.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Go to hell.

**Renate Edelstein**: Already there.

* * *

**Elizabeta Hedevery** || **Renate Edelstein**: Ren, are you really going in there?

**Renate Edelstein**: Yes... Yes I am. I want to understand what's so scary about this place. I want to know its story.

**Elizabeta Hedevery**: You don't need to know everything, Ren!

**Renate Edelstein**: Maybe that's the case for you. You don't wish to known as much as you can. You're satisfied with being naive. Well, Miss Hedevery, I am not.

**Elizabeta Hedevery**: You haven't changed in the slightest Ren...

* * *

**Ludwig Beilschmit** || **Feliciano Vargas**: You know you don't have to come if you don't want to...

**Feliciano Vargas**: No, no, I want to! It sounds fun, Luddy~!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Are you sure?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Si~! Don't worry about li'l old me, I can handle it!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Alright... if you insist... but what about your brother?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh Lovi? ... I don't know. Lovi doesn't want to go because Toni's going...

**Feliciano Vargas**: I want him to come. :( But he's mad at Toni...

**Ludwig Beilschmit**; Over what?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Fratello won't tell me!

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Is inside this stupid house. And IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

[**Yao Wang **_likes this_]

**Yao Wang**: You're going with Jeanette to the Bonnefoy House? Why?

**Lovino Vargas**: Feli threw a fit because I wouldn't. Stupid Feli.

**Yao Wang**: You could have just said no...

**Lovino Vargas**: You can't say no to Feliciano Vargas. You just CAN'T. -_-

* * *

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Is in the kitchen, looking for Micheline.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oh yeah, that girl who killed herself in the kitchen?

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh da, I remember that! It was an old ghost story my parents told me~

**Yao Wang**: Oh really.

**Kiku Honda**: I remember hearing the stories as well...

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, privet Kiku. How's your camera? ^_^

**Kiku Honda**: F-Fine... t-th-thanks for asking...

**Yao Wang**: Aiyah, Ivan! What did you do to him?

**Ivan Braginski**: Nothing~! Ah, wait... yes, I did do something. :)

**Yao Wang**: You damn creeper. DX

[**Kiku Honda** _and_ **26**_ others like this_]

* * *

**Yao Wang** || **Kiku Honda**: Aiyah, Kiku, what happened?

**Kiku Honda**: He broke my camera... apparently Ivan doesn't like being photographed...

**Yao Wang**: How did he break your camera?

**Kiku Honda**: He just reached over, wrapped his hand around the lens and crushed it. Then he said I shouldn't take any more pictures of him or he might have to do the same to me...

**Yao Wang**: ... ... I'll fix this. Want me to buy you a new camera?

**Kiku Honda**: N-no, that is not needed. He simply broke the lens.

**Yao Wang**: Then I'll get you a new lens.

**Kiku Honda**: Since when do you feel the need to miligate Ivan's antics?

**Yao Wang**: Since the day I met him. -_-

* * *

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy** ||** Antonio Carriedo**: ANTONIO SOMETHING IS DOWN HERE.

**Antonio Carriedo**: What? Hang on Jeanette!

**Antonio Carriedo**: What is it?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I am not very interested in knowing what it is, Antonio!

**

* * *

(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland** || **Matilda Williams**: I swear on the Queen I just saw something.

**Matilda Williams**: Where are you?

**Arthur Kirkland**: In the library. Hurry.

**Matilda Williams**: Are you scared. :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: NO. I just - if you're closer I can protect you. Because that's what gentlemen do. Right...

**Matilda Williams**: Whatever you say. :) Sit tight, eh? I'll be right there.

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland** || **Matilda Williams**: Where are you?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I mean, not because I'm scared. But I can't find you. And it's been 10 minutes...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh is that you?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh no, it's Amelia. Damn bitch scared the bloody hell out of me. -_-

**Arthur Kirkland**: But seriously, Matilda, where are you?

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmit** || **Feliciano Vargas**: Did you hear that scream?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yes! Gilbert, I'm scared~!

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Shh, it's okay, hang on...

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: HOLY - WHAT WAS THAT CRASHING NOISE?

**Feliciano Vargas**: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Is QUITTING DAMNIT.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**7**_ others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli **|| **Renate Edelstein**: Ren. We should get out now.

**Chantal Zwingli**: REN ANSWER ME.

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmit** ||** Ludwig Beilschmit**: Bruder, watch over Feli for me. I'm going to go investigate something.

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: NO, don't. You might not come back.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Why? What's wrong?

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Ren. She's missing.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: That's nothing to worry about. She probably got lost, the unawesome idiot.

* * *

**(Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmit **|| **Arthur Kirkland**: You say Matilda's missing as well?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Yes. Does Gilbert know?

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: I can't tell him that. I don't want to know what he'll do if I told him that.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, Matilda is probably just hiding somewhere... she tends to do that...

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Right. Right. There is nothing to worry about. There is nothing to worry about.

**Arthur Kirkland**: My God! Ludwig! In the foyer...

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: What is it?

**Arthur Kirkland**: The vase - the vase on the column, it's broken. And...

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: And...?

**Arthur Kirkland**: There's blood Ludwig. Blood.

* * *

**special agent everest**: uses Cliffhanger number 2. It's super effective.

[**special agent everest** _has logged off_]


	8. the ballad of mona lisa

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

I own the Bonnefoy House as well. XD

Oh, and did I ever mention how much I love my readers? Ti amo~!

* * *

**FranceGirl.** Haha. XD Now, remember that waver I had you sign before you began reading this fanfiction, about how I am not responsible for any cases of spotaneous human combustion due to cliffhangers and/or fangirling? You might want to look over that again... **TrueDespair. **Apparently you're not the only one who picks up such a vibe. Actually, Antonio didn't do much... besides hook up with Jeanette. ^_^ So Lovino get all pissy is basically a tsundere's way of saying I love you. Ren and Chan for comedy? Wow. That is a show I'd like to see. XD No one can resist Feliciano Vargas. It's a rule of life. I actually don't see Ivan as being scary, I see him as being unpredictablely violent, like that's the only reaction he knows. I know a lot of people actually don't like Ivan, but he's actually my guilty pleasure to write about. I almost don't want to make an arc about him becase I'll hate to end it. :) Yes he is! At least he can PRETEND like he's not, something that Lovi can't do. Oh, that won't be revealed now, True. Read and see...! **Yousha.** Hehe, Loving the cliffhanger I see? It's impossible to say no to Feli. How do you think he's gotten so many girlfriends? They can't resist him! You know what? I like this arc too. =3 **Life's Shadows.** Oh yes. Yes it is. XD **SparkleNeko.** Oh. OH. That was completely unplanned. XD I have to confess, that is the BEST typo I've ever made. I'm tempted to leave it there and see if anyone else notices it. Thanks for pointing that out. **phomma-chan.** That would be terrifying. Positively terrifying... Oh, phomma-chan, prepare for some nightmares. ^_^ **Etenally1Yours**: They are in undisclosed locations. =D Hmph. Arthur needs to keep up his image somehow. Being stuck in a haunted house tends to suck the manliness right out of people, and Arthur simply refuses to let such a thing happen to him. Now, let's watch him fail at it this chapter. **RasalynnLynx.** The fun hasn't even begun. Oh, I now have about fifteen different ways to mess with them. I don't think this arc is just going to be five chapters anymore. XD **Squishing Bananas. **It's quite alright. I'm having a similar moment as well. Believe me, I have as much fun writing this as you do reading it, that's for sure. **Little Patch Of Heaven.** special agent akane has gained 9001 experience points! :) ... Good point. Then again, one must remember that they are NOT normal people. And besides, if they didn't, you wouldn't know what's going on! I might end up writing little segments about some of the parts that you miss. Actually, Arthur and Lovino kind of gang up on Antonio and Jeanette in this chapter. Oh yeah, revenge shall be seeked. You most certainly cannot say not to Feliciano. There should be a law against doing something like that! Oh, really? RusAme is, like several others, a pairing that's best as a friends-with-benefits pairing. For some reason, UKUS is the same way with me. Not sure why, but it just is. (Same with Germano. ^_^)

* * *

**session eight** :: the ballad of mona lisa [_panic! at the disco_]

- august 7th  
**

* * *

**

**(Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmit** || **Arthur Kirkland**: You're kidding.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'm NOT. There's a smear of it across the floor. Oh God, someone's dead.

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: ARTHUR. Calm down! We do not know anything about this, so do not jump to conclusions!

**Arthur Kirkland**: That's the first thing Gilbert will do once he hears about this!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: I'll kill you if you tell him.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'm not scared of you!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: ... You should be.

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Is going downstairs.

**Arthur Kirkland**: NO! Don't go into the foyer, Lovino!

**Lovino Vargas**: Give me a good reason why.

**Lovino Vargas**: That's what I thought.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I didn't bloody finish, you prick!

**Lovino Vargas**: You can't stop me from doing what I want! I'd like to see you try!

* * *

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones **||** Chantal Zwingli**: You. Me. Greenhouse. We must investigate it!

**Chantal Zwingli**: Don't want to. =\

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oh, c'mon! Please...? You know you want to!~

**Chantal Zwingli**: No.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Ren's in the greenhouse!

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... Fine.

* * *

**Elizabeta Hedevery** || **Ludwig Beilschmit**: Is the trip going well?

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Not at all. We have run into some... complications...

**Elizabeta Hedevery**: Oh no! Like what?

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: ... Elizabeta... it is nothing that cannot be resolved, don't worry.

**Elizabeta Hedevery**: Don't lie to me! Ludwig, I hate when you do that!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: I'm not lying.

**Elizabeta Hedevery**: Yes you are! You're a pathetic liar - I can even tell you're lying over a computer screen, Ludwig!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: [/sigh] There's nohing wrong, Elizabeta.

**Elizabeta Hedevery**: Stop being so difficult!

* * *

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: Has jut learned that Amelia F. Jones is a LIAR.

**Kiku Honda**: You have just learned this now, Chantal-chan?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: HAHA. Chan-chan. You sir have just made an awesome nickaname,.

**Kiku Honda**: Ah, hello Gilbert-san. How is your journey?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: It's awesome. A little scary, but awesome. ^_^

**Kiku Honda**: That sounds fun.

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Gilbert. Have you seen Jeanette or Antonio anywhere recently?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: No...

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: ... Great.

**Arthur Kirkland**: No need to worry, they're probably screwing each other senseless, the fucking slags...

[**Gilbert Beilschmit** _and _**14** _others like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: They're probably have sex, the whores.

[**Gilbert Beilschmit** _and _**14**_ others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: What were you copying me for, eh, wanker?

**Lovino Vargas**: I wasn't fucking copying you, bastard! I was typing something and YOU just said it first!

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... I think I'll enjoy your company.

**Lovino Vargas**: Che. I like you too, tea-bastard.

**Kiku Honda**: ... Tsunderes use BOND. ... It's super effective...

[**Ludwig Beilschmit** _likes this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas **|| **Arthur Kirkland**: OHMYGOD. .

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Ah, sorry, what?

**Lovino Vargas**: Ghost. Foyer. Knows my name. FUCKINGHELPME!

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Oh God, we should have had a damn seance first - the spirits must be angry that we disturbed them...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Lovino?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'm not a fan of chat-speak, but now seems like the appropiate time to use it... W.T.F.

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas **|| **Gilbert Beilschmit**: Gil~ wanna go to the garden with me? Apparently a ghost named Autumn is there!

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Autumn? Oh ja, the one who died in the pond. Let's investigate!

**Feliciano Vargas**: B-But... what if she gets us?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: I'll protect you, Feli, you adorable little thing.

**Feliciano Vargas**: [/claps] Ve! I feel safe now!

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: ;)

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland** || **Ludwig Beilschmit**: OH FOR THE LOVE OF SCOTCH, LUDWIG, I FOUND LOVINO.

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: What? What is it?

**Arthur Kirkland**: On the stairs to the foyer. He's breathing and everything but -

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: No... I shall be right there!

* * *

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones **|| **Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... Hey. Are you walking around outside the greenhouse?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Non... I am not, Ame.

**Amelia F. Jones**: That's not you? THEN WHO THE HELL IS THAT?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I think you have just seen Lisette Bonnefoy...

* * *

**special agent akane**: Remember about two chapters ago when Lovino said he saw a picture of someone that looked just like Jeanette? Yes, that was Lisette Bonnefoy. Next chapter will deal more with the backstory of the Bonnefoy House than what's happening in the present. And also next chapter -

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Kesesese~ This is Gilbert Beilschmit. Since S. was about to reveal the plot, I have asked Adrian to hold her hostage until next chapter. Shame on you, Akane, and you get onto us for kidnapping~

**Arthur Kirkland**: Kidnapping wasn't needed, Gilbert.

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: HA. Don't tell the awesome ME what to do, twit! Anyway, as the British say -

**Arthur Kirkland**: Cheerio, mates. See you lot around. ;)

[**special agent everest **_and _**2**_ others have logged off_]


	9. cannibal

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

I own the Bonnefoy House as well. XD

* * *

**FranceGirl.** Good thing I have a copy machine! [/waves around a copy of the waver] ^_^ Why thank you. I have as much fun writing as you do reading it, let me assure you. **Yousha.** Apparently, a lot of people liked that line. Funny considering that I threw that line as a last minute thing. Oh, please, you know you love my cliff-hangers. There are no conflicting feelings. Actually, it's a good thing that Feli goes into the garden, otherwise, there would be a much different ending to this arc. =3 **SuperA nTwch.** Lol, you two? Second person so far who's like that line. And I haven't even gotten through the rest of the reviews. I'm sure Kiku will be happy that his line is much loved. **TrueDespair.** Oh, I know right? Actually, I think Ludwig is being the most calm right now... XD You know Lovi and his pride issues. Of course he'll defend his honor. Even if it kills him. (Or comes close to doing so) Chan-chan is a little naive when it comes to Manipulation 101. I mean, look at her sister. Sweetest thing in the world. Even if she did grow up surrounded by Gilbert... she kind of tuned his existence out unless it was necessary to acknowledge him. Elizabeta's not there, and she hasn't heard from Ren for a while, so she probably would start to become a bit frazzled. I would too. YES. Tsunderes, UNITE! Lol. It's wasn't until now that I realized how dysfunctional a friendship that would be. It would be the most awkward, yet adorable friendship in existence. Kiku obviously thinks the same. XD He's friends with them both, so he is just as surprised and confused as you are. For now. I just noticed that I rarely use chat-speak in this fanfiction. Then again, I rarely use chat-speak to begin with. I think I use it more when I speak than when I text. Ve~ they are cute aren't they? XD Little known fact, but: did you know that Gil (in the actual canon storyline too) has a thing for Feli? Ludwig's got some competition... =D Psh, you think that was for the worst? Oh, just wait, True... XD **Little Patch of Heaven.** I can't wait. Planning this out has been so crazy fun. My mind is very happy right about now. =3 Oh my God. You completely took the words out of my mind and typed them. I was actually going to do that... not right at the moment, because after this arc I'm going to focus on the Nordics and the Baltics, but soon. I can't get too happy, because then I'll want to write this, but... XD No emote can completely describe my happiness. I was planning on doing that. Next chapter will probably have text included, and then... I'll see. I'll probably make it to where the arcs will have text included, but not the regular chapters and such. True. But they are teenagers, and most teens are glued to their phones and whatnot. ^_^ I'm being mainstream to a degree, haha. Oh, I know. Ivan could be a lovey-dovey person, but most people tend to write him as a psychopath, which he's not. And same with Gilbert. I don't see him being very lovey-dovey too, although I can see him being over-affectionate. XD **Squishing Bananas.** No, it's not Antonio... Toni's kinda busy, actually. =D Psh. Reading your review killed me too. Amelia is SO not going to happy about what you wrote. Oh wait. I mean, what review? You didn't write anything (is assisting with your denial). XD **phomma-chan**. Actually, I wasn't planning on Lisette possessing anyone... although someone WILL be possessed. Lol, I don't think Lisette or any of them know how to use Facebook. That would be amusing, watching them try to figure it out. =) **Shinyfox.** Yay, new reviewer! Welcome to the story! No, whenever they on Facebook they're not in the same room as the person they're talking to. For example, Amelia and Chantal are in the greenhouse together, but while Chantal is chatting on Facebook, Amelia's not. Sometimes they're close to each other (like Matilda can take about 30 seconds to go and talk to her sister face-to-face), but they're not in the same room. That would be a whole new degree of impractical. Thanks for your support. =D

... WARNING: GREAT WALL OF TEXT.

* * *

**session nine** :: cannibal [_ke$ha_]

- august 7th  
**

* * *

**

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas** || **Ludwig Beilschmit**: I'm in the garden with Gil if you need me, Luddy~

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Please be careful...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Don't worry, I won't fall in the pond! Besides I know how to swim, Luddy!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: ... around my brother.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve? Why?

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Numerous reasons.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh! Gil and I are going in the pond! Apparently you can meet Autumn down there~! Ciao, Luddy!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: ... Ja... because THAT'S safe.

* * *

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo** || **Feliciano Vargas**: Hola, Feli!

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ciao~! So what do you know about this Autumn girl?

**Antonio Carriedo**: I have a picture of her. She's gorgeous too. But apparently the Bonnefoy twins fell in love with her and fought over her until they both died. Then she went after the eldest Bonnefoy brother and Lisette became enraged and tied her up in the middle of the night and threw her into the pond. She drowned in there... and supposedly if you take a swim in the pond and stay down there long enough, her ghost will dive in the water and kiss you.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ooh~ send me the picture?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Get ready for a message, mi Felito. =D

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh mio Dio, lei è splendida!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Yo sè...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Gilbert will love to hear this!

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve, Toni? Where were you all this time?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Me? Ahaha... that's an interesting story actually...

* * *

**(Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmit** || **Arthur Kirkland**: How is Lovino?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Still not awake yet... not completely... he keeps muttering something though...

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: What is he saying?

**Arthur Kirkland**: If I knew, I would have told you!

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Are you TRYING to figure it out? It might provide a clue...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Does it LOOK like I speak bloody Italian?

* * *

**Laima Laurinatis**: Is wondering what's going on at the Bonnefoy house...

[**Xiang Wang** _and _**4** _others like this_]

**Yao Wang**: It's Jeanette Bonnefoy. She gathered some people to go explore the house with her.

**Ivan Braginski**: But it isn't going very well, so I have heard.

**Yao Wang**: Why is that?

**Ivan Braginski**: The ghosts... they're angry. They are taking their revenge, one at a time...

**Yao Wang**: OHMYGOD. They - they're DYING?

**Yao Wang**: Hmph. That's it, I'm going in. No way is any spirit of the dead taking Antonio.

**Laima Laurinatis**: Antonio...?

**Xiang Wang**: ... It's a very bizarre, food-based relationship.

* * *

**Edward von Bock **|| **Arthur Kirkland**: Alert. Yao is in a panic and is heading over to the Bonnefoy House.

**Arthur Kirkland**: What for?

**Edward von Bock**: He's worried about Antonio.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Antonio? What the hell - and not me?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I mean... ah... right. Okay. I'll go meet him soon.

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland** || **Yao Wang**: Yao, what the bloody hell are you doing?

**Yao Wang**: Aiyah! Do you honestly expect me to sit around while all my friends are knocked off one by one!

**Arthur Kirkland**: What? No one's dead! Who told you that?

**Yao Wang**: Ivan...

**Arthur Kirkland**: [/sigh] Yao...

**Yao Wang**: I'm worried regardless... I'm just coming to check on you.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I thought you hated me.

**Yao Wang**: You're an annoying - what is it, twat? - at times, but no, I don't hate you.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Hmph... I don't hate you either.

**Yao Wang**: Alright, I'm here. Now tell me what's going on.

* * *

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy** || **Amelia F. Jones**: Amelia! You have got to look around the attic with me! It's simply... fascinating.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Sure... Chantal and I are just about done looking around outside. Mind if she comes too?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Not at all~! But, where is Renate? Usually they are together, non?

**Amelia F. Jones**: No clue. Chantal's totally freaking out about it though.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh no! This is terrible! Is anyone else missing?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Once again, no clue.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Amelia! I just sent a message to Arthur and he said that they couldn't find Matilda either!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Amelia? Where are you going?

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland **|| **Ludwig Beilschmit**: Ludwig... something terrible happened...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Lovino woke up.

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: Um... that is not a bad thing!

**Arthur Kirkland**: No, it's not that... It's... Amelia ran in here to ask me abut Matilda, and she stepped on Lovino's stomach and woke him up, and at first he was okay, but then he got all paranoid, saying that there was some sort of ghost running around that knew his name and everything and that she was walking up the stairs to him. Then, he - according to him - was cursed and forced to black out so he wouldn't remember, but apparently... the ghost, from his description, was Matilda.

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: No. It must be a look-a-like.

**Arthur Kirkland**: No. There isn't anyone in the house that looks like Matilda. Jeanette and Lisette are the only doppelgangers. And, when Lovino says he saw her, there was blood all over her hands...

**Ludwig Beilschmit**: So... is it Matilda's blood in the foyer?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh God, I hope not. Ivan was right... one's possibly dead... and we're all going down next...

* * *

**(Mobile) special agent akane**: Hey, Gilbert... what is Adrian doing now that you threw him away from you?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Hanging from a cliff...

**special agent akane**: And what's this story doing?

**Gilbert Beilschmit**: Hanging from a cliff. 8D

**special agent akane**: Need I say more, readers? ;) You may begin spamming the review page with your hate mail about cliffhangers... NOW.

[**special agent akane**_ and _**1** _other have logged off_]


	10. anxiety

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

I own the Bonnefoy House as well. XD

Oh, and apparently I've been spelling Gilbert and Ludwig's last name wrong. It's Beilschmidt. With a D thrown in there. ... Like, how so not cool of me. (When piqued, speak like Poland. Works every time.)

* * *

**Yousha. **Ahaha, of course. Don't you love them? Cliffhangers are my pride and joy. XD Next arc... I don't know. I have a few ideas, but for right now, after this arc I'm going to kick back with the Nordics and the Baltics. I might ask my readers which one they want next, so stay tuned for that. I just need to organize them first. Gah. Organization shall be thy bane. -_- **TrueDespair.** Yeah, Ludwig. What have to got to worry about? Unless you wanted Feli's virginity. THEN Ludwig has a reason to worry. :) LOL. You really want those pictures? Alright, but it's at your own risk... I'm not responsible for you dying of massive blood loss. Google Translate knows Italian. Ask it. Or Bing. Kiku's not in the house. He's at home. Since Antonio IS in the Bonnefoy house, however... Hn. Arthur only asked that for stability. He wants a friendship that isn't layered with complex emotions and pasts, and with Yao, he has that. (According to him. Actually, that relationship I discussed is with Kiku, but Yao knows him better.) You did? Psh. That's sad. How could you forget about... wait... who were we talking about again? XD It's not so bad yet (hmm, key phrase there). Either way, stay tuned for more. ;) **FranceGirl.** It wasn't Gilbert's fault, it was mine. I take full responsibility for that. :) **Little Patch of Heaven.** Kesesese~ I did. Mmhm. Those are the most fun relationships to read and write about, because there's so many ways that you can take that situation and still manage to make it work. Oh, I know! Arthur and Lovino will probably have a love/hate relationship with each other due to this as well, so that'll be interesting. Forget Tsunderes use Bond. More like, Tsunderes use Yaoi-Fangirl's-Dream Scheme. When she wants to be. Hint, hint. ^_^ No, Ame loves her sis, and no matter how much Matilda wants to disown her, Mattie loves her too. **Lydiacatfish. **Got ya. ;) Oh, I know. I'm rarely on my Facebook either. I just don't have the heart to bother. Oh, no, that wouldn't have worked. Arthur's not stupid enough to jump in a white van with Gilbert Beilschmidt and Adrian Kirkland to begin with, no matter what you offered him. (Well, they haven't tried offering him a unicorn yet. XD)** Rina B.** Aww, thank you! I try to portray them to the best of my ability. Music helps a lot with writing all of this, actually. Wouldn't be anywhere without YouTube. ^_^ **phomma-chan**. Lol. :) Don't despair yet. The arc's not over. And I haven't even used my King of Hearts, let alone my Ace. Well, it's not just food. If you think about it, Antonio and Yao have a lot in common, they just are never near each other in the series, so no one juxtapositions them. It started OUT as a food-based relationship, but I figured that due to their similarities, it would probably become closer later on. Not THAT close, of course. The Spanish Stallion doesn't need any more romance at the moment. XD You're scared already? B-But I haven't even STARTED! **Etenally1Yours.** _Chantal: You want to be shot? Fine. This is a waste of a perfectly good bullet but for you I'll make an exception. XD _Whose bright idea was it to give her a gun anyway... no worries, I'll make sure she doesn't shoot. I'll tell her you're Ren in disguise. ^_^ **Shinyfox. **That's alright. I have your support, and that's good enough for me. :) Oh and no problem. That's part of my obligation as author of this fanfiction. =D

* * *

**session ten** :: anxiety [_black eyed peas_]

- august 7th  
**

* * *

**

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas** || **Lovino Vargas**: Lovi!

**Lovino Vargas**: What do you want?

**Feliciano Vargas**: What's this about a ghost you saw? Tell me Lovi!

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Um... you know Amelia's sister?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yeah~! Matilda, right?

**Lovino Vargas**: R-Right... that's her name. I was walking down the stairs, right? And I thought I saw this ghostly figure at the bottom of the stairs. So when I got closer, she looked up at me and said, "Lovino?" and then she started walking up the stairs to me, and her hands were bright red with blood, and... my life started flashing before my eyes and everything and...

**Feliciano Vargas**: M-Matilda's dead?

**Lovino Vargas**: I don't know...

**Feliciano Vargas**: R-R-Really?

**Lovino Vargas**: Yeah... and Goddamn it bastard, stop screaming! I can hear you from up here!

**Lovino Vargas**: Wait - DAMN PASTA-LOVING IDIOT DON'T TELL THE POTATO-BASTARD'S BROTHER!

**Lovino Vargas**: I SAID DON'T YOU FUCKING MORON!

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas **|| **Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Shit. Prepare for a shitstorm to head your way, kraut-head.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ... You wish to throw tomatoes at me again?

**Lovino Vargas**: NO. Damn Feli ran wailing to your brother about what happened.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ... You mean what happened with Matilda?

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Oh yeah, that's her name. And yeah.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ... Oh kill me now.

**Lovino Vargas**: Sure. Let me go ask Matilda who killed her and then we'll deal with you accordingly!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Sigh.

* * *

**(Mobile) Yao Wang** || **Kiku Honda**: Kiku.

**Kiku Honda**: Yao-san. Ni hao.

**Yao Wang**: ^_^ Don't Yao-san me, it's too formal!

**Kiku Honda**: Alright... Yao-sama.

**Yao Wang**: ...

**Kiku Honda**: What do you need, Yao-sama?

**Yao Wang**: This is HELL. If it weren't for the fact that it's very uncontentious of me to do so, I would have THROTTLED someone by now.

**Kiku Honda**: W-what's going on?

**Yao Wang**: Honestly, Kiku? I don't even know...

* * *

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy** ||** Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Gilbert, please! Just calm down for a moment! Ren is missing as well, we have to find both of them!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Matilda's easy to find. She's dead. All we have to do is find her body, right?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Gil... you're scaring me...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh good, you have feelings.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: And what does THAT mean, mon amie?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: That means while you were up in God-knows-where banging Antonio's BRAIN out, Matilda was somewhere taking her last breath AND YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... You bastard. I did not KNOW. I JUST found out about this, don't you dare blame me!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Fuck you.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Only in your damn dreams!

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas **|| **Feliciano Vargas**: Feli, let's get away from this drama...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Where to, fratello?

**Lovino Vargas**: In the twins' room.

**Feliciano Vargas**: How fitting, fratello~! Let's go~!

**Lovino Vargas**: Don't start humming the Mario theme song. PLEASE don't start humming the Mario theme song.

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas **|| **Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Ciao, ciao~! How's Gilbert?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ... He thinks someone's trying to talk to him from beyond. So he stole a sword from off the wall and he's swinging it out while screaming in German. ...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Wah? That's horrible! T_T

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: There's nothing I can really do about it... he's having a schizophrenic episode.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: He's going back to the pond now... he says he needs someone to talk to... mein bruder ist seltsam, ich weiß...

**Feliciano Vargas**: ... German? I don't understand. o_o

**Feliciano Vargas**: Make sure he doesn't hurt himself! I'd cry if something happened to him!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Of course. I'll protect him for you.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yay~! Ti amo, Luddy, ti amo~!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Ti amo...?

* * *

**(Mobile) Yao Wang **|| **Antonio Carriedo**: Aiyah~ I'm already tired of this...

**Antonio Carriedo**: Oh, tell me about it.

**Yao Wang**: Whose idea was this?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Jeanita's, aru.

**Yao Wang**: Jeanita's?

**Antonio Carriedo**: It was Jeanette's idea. But I was the one who introduced it to her, aru. She got angry with me and... this started...

**Yao Wang**: ... We have to convince everyone out as soon as we find the missing people. Which is who again?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Renate Edelstein and Matilda Williams, aru.

**Yao Wang**: Ah... that shouldn't be too hard to do...

**Antonio Carriedo**: Shall we commence the search, aru?

**Yao Wang**: Sure. ^^

**Yao Wang**: Wait. What's with the arus?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Aiyah~ Don't yell at me, aru!

**Yao Wang**: ... So mean, Toni~! Stop making a mockery of me, sabes que te amo! ;)

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... Bastard. XD

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas**: Everyone, everyone! I have something to say.

**Lovino Vargas**: Listen to him.

**Yao Wang**: Ay dio, Lovi!

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... Oh, so that's how it is, huh, Yao? Trae encendido!

**Lovino Vargas**: ... NOT AMUSED.

[**Arthur Kirkland **_and _**4**_ others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: I have a question... does anyone know where Jeanette is?

**Antonio Carriedo**: No...

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: I do not.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, since HE'S here that takes out option A... which is screwing Antonio again.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Someone's a jealous bitch. =)

**Feliciano Vargas**: No, no, stop! This is bad! If Jeanette is gone then...

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Feliciano, WHAT is going on?

**Feliciano Vargas**: It's Autumn. She senses that Lisette's here and wants revenge... horrible revenge... fatal revenge! But it's not Lisette she sees, it's Jeanette!

**Lovino Vargas**: It's true. And Autumn can easily slip inside someone's body and possess them if she wants to. All of us can.

**Arthur Kirkland**: All of... us?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yes.

**Lovino Vargas**: I'm Lothaire Bonnefoy and this is my brother -

**Feliciano Vargas**: - Louis. We're trying to save you before someone else gets hurt.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I - I don't believe it...

**Amelia F. Jones**: You're possessing the Vargas brothers?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh no! I lost her.

**Lovino Vargas**: As did I. I can't sense her presence anymore. Which means she's found someone to possess...

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... But who?

* * *

**special agent everest**: Okay, I have a lot to explain here. So prepare for another possible wall of text.

**special agent everest**: First off, a reviewer of mine named _Little Patch of Heaven_ made a suggestion that, instead of just doing Facebook posts, I also add regular story text. I like this idea, however, I'm afraid that I would like it too much and end up with more story and less Facebook. So I decided that, I will add those text-like parts to a different story called **Crazy Beautiful Life**. (Me and my addiction to song titles). And no, they won't be in any sort of order, but I will tell you what chapter each part is from. Second, _phomma-chan_ and I discussed the ghosts being able to communicate through Facebook to the other characters. Whenever these ghosts possess another person, it is only partial possession. The person being possessed can mentally overthrow their possessor if they have a strong enough will to do so. (Actually, if you KNOW that you can overthrow them, you usually can do it - this is an idea from a story of mine but the overall power of possession for this story has been watered down quite a bit. Before, it was very rare that a person could overthrow their possessor. Since the person still has partial control, they still have their a lot of their quirks and talents, but the longer the possession lasts, the more of that person's personality is faded away. It will restore itself of course, but expect moments of bizarre, out-of-character behavior for a bit.

[**special agent everest** _has logged off_]

**Ivan Braginski**: Ah, Akane? I am still here...

**Ivan Braginski**: [/chuckles] Ah well.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, wait! And one more thing before I go. Don't get too sucked into the story now! It might just kill you~! _Dasvidanya! _

[**Ivan Braginski **_has logged off_]


	11. wake up call

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

I own the Bonnefoy House as well. XD

* * *

**FranceGirl. **Arthur x Yao? Wow. That wasn't intentional. But... my OT3 IS Arthur x Kiku x Yao, so... I guess it somehow crept itself in there. Like I said, not intentional. ^_^;; Besides, if I paired him with anyone else, he would be so be the ultimate uke of this fanfiction. **phomma-chan**. You think she does? She only said two... which is low when I'm writing about Lovino in the same chapter. Still scared, phomma? Good. That was my intent the whole time. I explain how that works more in this chapter. Yeah, they are. Since Lisette died in the foyer, which is in the front of the house, and Autumn died in the garden, which is in the backyard, they've never crossed paths. They've actually been "asleep" for 20 years because no one has disturbed the house enough to "wake" them, until now. But seeing Jeanette has triggered that hatred again, and all Autumn wants is to be rid of her, so that's why she's so angry. She just now realizes that Lisette is in the house still (even though it's Jeanette she sees) and she's actually scared of her. Haha. The twins aren't supposed to be scary, really. Haha, that would be funny, wouldn't it? But it's not Matilda would gets possessed in this chapter. XD **TrueDespair.** That's what he did. After he got that message, he ran over and told Gilbert, and Gilbert flipped out. That's also why he got into that rift with Jeanette. Yeah, Lovino's still a jackass. Like always. Only time he's considerably polite is when Lothaire's possessing him. XD Kiku's always like that though... so nothing It's New Super Vargas Bros. Wii~! Right before I wrote that bit I found this hilarious picture on deviantart with Feli as Mario, Lovi as Luigi and Francis as Peach. I'm pretty sure I died a little inside. XD Mmhm. Google Translate is seriously my best friend (and Ludwig's too.) I thought they would have that kind of relationship if they ever actually met. No there isn't, even though a lot of high school relationships are built off of mocking each other senseless. I'm sure that at least five of my own are like that. Mmhm. It's party time for sure. **Squishing Bananas**. Haha, so was I! I had it playing on my iPod when I wrote that chapter, when I wasn't listening to Anxiety by the Black Eyed Peas. (I get the chapter titles from the song I'm listening to at the moment) It's okay. Sometimes up here I run out of things to say to, so I just kinda flounder for a moment... **Yousha.** Okay, before I comment on anything else: what is Faceshit? ^_^ Was that a typo, or did you say that on purpose? Yeah, definitely. I've got to go write it first. I keep being distracted by Gilbert and his need to "awesomely communicate with other awesome people". ... Um... yeah... I'll just take this cookie... and I'm going to slide over here and use Lothaire as my shield... _Lothaire: You're scared of a laugh, Akane? That's rather pathetic of you. I'm not scared of you Yousha. What could you possibly do to me? :)_ **Etenally1Yours. **Couldn't have it any other way. XD For a moment, I was going to do Charlemagne and Thomas, but then I remember Charlemagne isn't there. ^_^;; Heh. Major sweatdrop moment. Jean'll live. I like her too much to kill her right now. ^_^ Although at the moment, my favorite character would have to be Feliciano. He's just so darn cute. XD **Shinigami.** Seriously? Would you believe me if I said I've never heard the song before in my life? I've heard OF it... and now I want to listen to it, as soon as I stop listening to dubs of Hamburger Street. =D **coloration. **Hmm, I tried. ^_^ And gracias, mi amiga. Yo soy algre que te guste mi historia. :) **Mirianna96.** lol, really? Don't you know that that is the best time and place to anything spooky? It increases the fear factor ten-fold. XD **Andy.** More, you say? Well, thy wish is my command. Here you go~

* * *

**session eleven** :: wake up call [_maroon 5_]

- august 7th  
**

* * *

**

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: So... you're saying that one of us could be possessed right now?

**Feliciano Vargas**: I'm pretty sure you would know if you were.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Well, then, I can assume that it's none of us.

**Yao Wang**: But everyone's here, except Ren and Matilda.

**Antonio Carriedo**: No! Gilbert's not here!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Gilbert! I completely forgot about him... H-Hang on, let me go check on him!

**Feliciano Vargas**: Hurry back!

**Lovino Vargas**: Hurry back.

**Chantal Zwingli**: So why does Autumn want revenge on Jeanette again?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Good question. I haven't done anything to her, last I looked.

**Feliciano Vargas**: It's not you. It's Lisette she wants revenge on.

**Lovino Vargas**: Lisette was the one who killed Autumn. Now that she sees you, it's like a spark.

**Feliciano Vargas**: All of that hate is back. And the only way to get rid of it is by...

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Death.

**Amelia F. Jones**: But... Autumn's already dead.

**Feliciano Vargas**: I'm sorry to say... but Autumn won't be the one dying...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: It's me. She wants to kill me.

* * *

**(Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmidt** || **Lovino Vargas**: Gilbert's gone. He's not in the garden anymore!

**Lovino Vargas**: Oh no. We've got to tell Jeanette.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Yes. Tell her to be careful.

**Lovino Vargas**: Um... can't do that.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: And why not?

**Lovino Vargas**: ... She's gone.

* * *

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy **|| **Antonio Carriedo**: For the last time, Antonio, just LET me deal with Autumn. I can handle it!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Jeanita... please, don't...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: It is the only way anyone will get any peace. Just let me.

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... Jeanita... te amo, Jeanette, te amo. PLEASE be careful, Jeanita...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Je t'aime Toni. And I shall.

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas** || **Antonio Carriedo**: You let her go?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Sometimes proving that you love someone isn't in your ability to hold onto them... it's your ability to let them go...

**Lovino Vargas**: ... How sweet of you. But seriously, this isn't time for blind action. Go back and get her, please.

**Antonio Carriedo**: I can't do that...

**Lovino Vargas**: If you love her then bring her back!

**Antonio Carriedo**: No. Just let her go.

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Louis and I are going to find Thomas now... maybe he can talk some sense into Autumn.

**Amelia F. Jones**: HURRY.

**Feliciano Vargas**: We'll try...

**Lovino Vargas**: ... As hard as we can.

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas **|| **Lovino Vargas**: Wait! Lothaire...!

**Lovino Vargas**: Yes, Louis?

**Feliciano Vargas**: N-No, it's Feliciano. Where are you going?

**Lovino Vargas**: Don't fret, I'll return.

**Feliciano Vargas**: I know... I'll miss you, Lothaire!

**Lovino Vargas**: You'll miss me? Where did that come from?

**Feliciano Vargas**: I ... I don't know. Will you miss me?

**Lovino Vargas**: I suppose so, yes.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ti amo, Lothaire~! Until next time? :)

**Lovino Vargas**: Until... Until next time, Feliciano.

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt** || **Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Where are you?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: What do you want with me now?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I just want to know where you are. You shouldn't be wandering around by yourself.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I'm going towards what I think is the attic... I'm trying to find Autumn.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Whatever for?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Because I want to know what she wants. It's not me she's mad at, but she doesn't know that.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I think her anger's justified.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Justified how?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: She's dead, and it's taken 20 years for her presence to be stirred again. Imagine being trapped in the place where you took your last breath for 20 years, stewing over those moments and remembering how you ended up this way? It's all her fault.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: What is wrong with you? Ever since you walked into this house, you've become stranger and stranger...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You're in the attic, you say?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oui, but that's beside the point...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Je suis ici. Tournez-vous.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... Since when did you learn French...?

* * *

**Kiku Honda**: Is worried.

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Why? Has Yao not gotten back to you?

**Kiku Honda**: No he hasn't...

**Elizabeta Hedevery**: Don't fret over it, Kiku. They'll be fine, I'm sure...

**Im Yong-Soo**: Please. Like anything could happen to Yao.

**Kiku Honda**: You say that so casually... yet I haven't heard from him...

**Hera Karpusi**: If anything was really wrong...you think... we would have heard from him...

**Lule Adnan**: I agree with the watermelon.

**Hera Karpusi**: ... Bitch. Don't call me that.

* * *

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli** || **Amelia F. Jones**: I can't take this. I'm going back to the greenhouse.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Or how about the library?

**Chantal Zwingli**: Why the library? I'm still not sure you even know what that is.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Haha. Look who has a sense of humor.

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... Stop being sarcastic. You suck at it.

**Amelia F. Jones**: No, but in all seriousness - library.

**Chantal Zwingli**: WHY?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Call me crazy all you want, because I really don't give, but - I thought I saw Ren enter the library when I walked past it a moment ago...

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... We're going to the library, then.

**Chantal Zwingli**: If you're lying to me though... there will be eight ghosts in this house. Understood?

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... Is that supposed to be a threat? HAHA, that's pathetic!

**Amelia F. Jones**: HOLY - DID YOU JUST SHOOT AT ME?

**Chantal Zwingli**: So we're on the same page?

**Amelia F. Jones**: YOU JUST SHOT AT ME. T_T

**Chantal Zwingli**: If you don't shut up, next time I WON'T miss on purpose.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Like, holy hell... Autumn can HAVE me, just TAKE ME FROM THIS PSYCHO, PLEASE!

**Amelia F. Jones**: But... yeah... the library's this way... follow the hero!

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... Chickenwuss. -_-

* * *

**special agent everest**: Finally. For some reason this chapter took forever to think of and write. And now to work on Crazy Beautiful Life. =) This arc is starting to come to a close, finally, and next it's Nordics&Baltics time. With a mini-arc included that introduces a new character. XD Can't wait.

[**special agent everest** _has logged off_]


	12. a starcrossed wasteland

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

I own the Bonnefoy House as well. XD

I just re-read the whole series and realized how many mistakes I've made in them. Like in chapter one (which has the character directory mind you) I COMPLETELY mispelled Andersen's name. I put Arnesen. ARGH. Not only that, but it's EDUARD not EDWARD. And I'm pretty sure I spelled Elizabeta's last name wrong this whole time too. This is an FML moment for sure.

* * *

**Poriichu.** Mmhm. Chantal almost always has her gun on her person or near her. Only exception is during school, and even then she still has a pen knife (it actually looks like a pen unless you click it, then the blade flips out. So Chantal has a habit of whenever she goes to get a pen, she always hides it under her desk or in her bag first before she clicks it. ^_^) **Yousha.** FaceAnger? Yup. I'm not driving you crazy with the cliffhangers this time. That's for later. :) Lol, yes Gil is possessed. I wanted it to be someone close to Jeanette but I didn't want to be an obvious choice - like Mattie. So I picked Gil. Because using Antonio would result in a crap-ton of angst and over-extend this arc. And I just want to get to the Nordics already. ^_^ **FranceGirl.** Arthur x Yao makes me fangirl too. Yup. Be worried. That only means the Bonnefoy House is working. :) Chan and Ame always crack me up. Thinking of that scene sent me into peals of uncontrollable laughter. **Etenally1Yours.** Everyone likes Chan-chan in this chapter, huh? :) It wasn't 'til then that I realized I made Antonio almost smart... so I made him have a "oh-this-is-totally-smart-for-me-but-it-isn't-really" moment by letting Jeanette go and deal with Gilbert. Real smart of you, Toni. But that's why we love you, hun. XD

* * *

**session twelve** :: a star crossed wasteland [_in this moment_]

- august 7th

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Arthur Kirkland **|| **Antonio Carriedo**: You just LET Jeanette go up there when there's a possibility that Gilbert is possessed and is probably going to kill her?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Antonio, that's idiotic, even for you.

**Antonio Carriedo**: She can handle herself. I trust her. :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, I don't. I'm going to find her.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Bad idea. You'll get yourself hurt. And Ren's already missing...

**Arthur Kirkland**: You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say you miss her.

**Antonio Carriedo**: A bit. Her and Beta and me... I miss that. It was nice.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Hmm.

**Antonio Carriedo**: It's kinda like you and Amelia and Jean...

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Kind of. Except I'm not dating them.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Yet. ;)

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Lovino Vargas **|| **Feliciano Vargas**: What's up?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Fratello~! I'm in the kitchen! Wanna come?

**Lovino Vargas**: Sure. But - Feliciano?

**Feliciano Vargas**: What is it, fratello?

**Lovino Vargas**: Did Lothaire give you something?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yeah, a key. He said it was the key to something special~ -giggles- Why?

**Lovino Vargas**: What, like his heart? How damn cheesy. But anyway... Louis gave me a music box.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve? Why?

**Lovino Vargas**: He said that he couldn't hold on it anymore... that it gave him bad memories, and he didn't want that with him. Besides, he said something about it wouldn't give him eternal peace if it was played, so he told me to destroy it.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Are you going to, fratello?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Lovi? Would you rather have us talk about it face-to-face?

**Feliciano Vargas**: ... You're not going to do it, are you, Lovino?

**Lovino Vargas**: No. I'm not.

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Amelia F. Jones **|| **Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh wow. You know that Thomas guy? He was totally cute.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Well, that would be awkward 'cause he's dead. And related to you.

**Amelia F. Jones**: R U even getting these?

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Lovino Vargas **|| **Arthur Kirkland**: WHERE ARE YOU.

**Arthur Kirkland**: What now?

**Lovino Vargas**: Someone just took my brother.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... How?

**Lovino Vargas**: They're apparently some sort of secret passageway in the kitchen - a hand just opened the door, shot out and grabbed him. I SWEAR.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I believe you - hang on I'll be down there shortly.

**Lovino Vargas**: HURRY GODDAMNIT.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright, don't rush me.

**Lovino Vargas**: I can do WHATEVER I want with you.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... You think so?

**Lovino Vargas**: I KNOW so.

**Arthur Kirkland**: No you can't.

**Lovino Vargas**: Tch. Says who, besides yourself?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Ask my ex-girlfriend. She'll tell you that no, you CAN'T do what you want with me. It works the other way around, you see. I do what I want with YOU.

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas** || **Kiku Honda**: Question.

**Kiku Honda**: Roma-kun! How are you? Are you hurt? Is everyone okay? Did something happen? Where's Yao? Do you know why he hasn't responded yet?

**Lovino Vargas**: I didn't mean spam ME with questions. But: I'm fine, I'm not hurt, No I don't think so, Yes something happened, Don't know don't care, and no clue.

**Kiku Honda**: O_O What happened?

**Lovino Vargas**: Damn it, let me ask you my question first!

**Kiku Honda**: Al-Alright... ask away, Roma-kun...

**Lovino Vargas**: Two questions. First, why the hell do you call me Roma-kun?

**Kiku Honda**: Because, Antonio calls you Romano sometimes... and that fits you. So I simply shorted it a bit.

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Fine. But don't call me that in public. Ever. Second question: Is Arthur gay?

**Kiku Honda**: O_O I think the term is bisexual...

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Really. Because I'm pretty sure he's trying to hit on me. That's what it sounds like.

**Kiku Honda**: Is he drunk?

**Lovino Vargas**: I don't know.

**Kiku Honda**: If so... then he probably is hitting on you. He tends to sway in that direction when he's drunk.

**Lovino Vargas**: You know this, how?

**Kiku Honda**: Ask Yao Wang. Or me.

* * *

**Ivan Braginski**: Is wondering...

******(Mobile) **Yao Wang: About what, Ivan?

**Ivan Braginski**: About the Bonnefoy house. You have been gone a while.

**Hera Karpusi**: ... They'll come back...

**Lule Adnan**: Eventually. If ever.

**Yao Wang**: Well... it's been rather chaotic...

******(Mobile) **Matilda Williams: I know, it has.

**Hera Karpusi**: Kiku's worried...

**Yao Wang**: I know, I know. I should message him soon...

**Ivan Braginski**: :) Hello Matanya~

**Yao Wang**: Matanya?

**Matilda Williams**: ?

**Ivan Braginski**: I didn't have a nickname for you yet. Like I have one for Yao-Yao...

**Yao Wang**: AIYAH, don't call me that! -_-

**Yao Wang**: Wait.

**Yao Wang**: Amelia! You're alive?

[**Amelia F. Jones** _and _**7**_ others like this_]

******M**atilda Williams: ... I'm Matilda, Yao.

[**Ivan Braginski** _likes this_]

* * *

******(Mobile/Mobile) **Ivan Braginski || **Yao Wang**: You really need to stop doing that. ^_^

**Yao Wang**: I know. She looks similar to Amelia though, so I guess I get them confused.

**Ivan Braginski**: Matanya's eyes are purple like mine. Amelia's are blue like Ludwig's. Will that help you remember?

**Yao Wang**: That's perfect!

* * *

******(Mobile/Mobile) **Yao Wang || **Matilda Williams**: Where have you been, then?

**Matilda Williams**: With Ren and Thomas.

**Yao Wang**: Oh thank God... you're both alright...

**Yao Wang**: Shall I tell Arthur?

**Matilda Williams**: Not yet. There's something that Thomas, Ren and I are looking for. It might end all this.

**Yao Wang**: Really? What is it? I will aid in any way I can!

**Matilda Williams**: It's a music box.

* * *

**special agent akane**: This arc has one last chapter and then - we move on to the Nordics and the Baltics. But are we done with the Bonnefoy House? No way. And you all thought this was scary? Please. Wait 'til the next Bonnefoy house arc.

**special agent akane**: But anyway - it took me a while to realize that I had NO female-to-male genderbends. I was going to do Hungary, then realized that I had already used her so I finally settled on... Ukraine. That's right, Ukraine! (Plus, I found this really awesome picture of male!Ukraine, so it gives me an excuse to find more. ^_^) Remind me to update the character directory (and fix a lot of my chapter mistakes) after next chapter. Oh, there's a lot more of these: **(Mobile) **then the last 11 chapters. Because I finally figured it out. For basic facebook conversations, like the long one in this chapter that started with Ivan and ended with Matilda, it will now tell you who is mobile and who isn't, and it will only say it on that person's first post. In the conversation between Lovino and Kiku, all of Lovino's post are mobile, but Kiku is at home. But for Arthur and Lovino's conversation, in which they're BOTH mobile, it will say **(Mobile/Mobile)** only once, so that way your eyes don't bleed from all the mobile chapters such as this arc.

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]


	13. voodoo

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

I own the Bonnefoy House as well. XD

And even though I've done twice before, this time I'm letting the character respond to all reviews with me. I might keep this trend up for a bit.

* * *

**FranceGirl. **It's a quirk. ;) I know. I might also do Male!Seychelles eventually, I still have to sleep on that, though. _Feliciano Vargas: Veh? What music box, Jeanette? ;) We don't have one, silly~_ **phomma-chan.** [/evil smirk] You heard right. You're scared now? I've had some inspiration from my dreams and other haunted house stories I've read or heard and believe me - this was tame compared to some of the craziness I've heard. _Matilda Williams: Eh? No, phomma, there's no need to get all upset over it... everyone does it... really... But, you know, I'm used it to, so no biggie. :) Besides Yao doesn't like Amelia much anyway, so I kinda doubt that he cares._ ... Ivan likes giving people nicknames. Since I've seen quite a few fics where Ivan calls Matthew "Matvey", I decided, "Heck, let's do Matanya." (Haha, marvel my creativity -_-) Tempting. I might just have to consider that. :) **Eternally1Yours.** Lol, I like Switzy too. The music box actually isn't evil. You'll see in this chapter, that it's actually helpful - the only thing is, it helps in a way that two people object to. _Renate Edelstein: I'm alive as well, thankfully. Well, Akane is glad you enjoyed that particular installment regardless. I hope you enjoy this one as well. _**Shinigami.** Haha, I know. Chapter 19 of Feverish just came out today and I was like, "YES. FINALLY. I'VE BEEN IN FANFICTION DEADLOCK." _Ivan Braginski: You found chapter 3 to be funny? Oh, that was the one I was in~! I am so glad you like it, Shini. :) I don't understand why they're terrified though. I'm not scary at all, am I, Shini? ;)_ **andthenshesaid.** Hi to you too. ^_^ And thank you, I'm very glad you like it. I like your work too, in case you haven't noticed. It brings out my poetic side. XD _Antonio Carriedo: Spamano? Wait... does that mean me? With Lovino? Oh~ [/blushes] Lovi's so shy though, I'm not sure it'll happen, but I will certainly try, just for you, mi amiga hermosa! What happened between Jeanette and I is... well... :) Some things should stay a secret, no? As does Akane! She is in the exactly same pairing situation, and between you and ME, personally, I think Arthur should end up with Jean. But as of now - Jean is mine. ;) Allie? Who's Allie? I'm a little confused... do you mean Amelia? If so... no, I wouldn't like that pairing. [/pouts] Lovi should be with me :) _I love the Nordics too. You have no idea how much fun I had writing as them, it was hilarious. Not to worry, m'dear, the Nordics are right around the corner.

* * *

**session thirteen** :: voodoo [_godsmack_]

- august 7th

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Yao Wang **|| **Matilda Williams**: A - A music box?

**Matilda Williams**: It's Thomas's theory... because what he think has them grounded to Earth still is their hatred for each other.

**Matilda Williams**: The music box has been passed down through generations, and when they were younger it used to calm them down whenever they started fighting and it would eradicate whatever hatred they had for each other. Thomas thinks that if he gathers all of the ghosts together and plays the song, for those three minutes they won't all hate each other and maybe then they can move on.

**Yao Wang**: ... That's not a bad idea.

**Yao Wang**: We just need to find the music box and gather everyone. Lothaire and Louis won't be hard to find - we'll ask the Vargas brothers for that... Lisette is apparently near the greenhouse, you already have Thomas, Micheline and Bridgetta we need to find, and Autumn is in Gilbert, so...

**Matilda Williams**: ... Say that again?

**Yao Wang**: We just need to find the music box and gather everyone. Lothaire and Louis won't be hard to find - we'll ask the Vargas brothers for that... Lisette is apparently near the greenhouse, you already have Thomas, Micheline and Bridgetta we need to find, and Autumn is in Gilbert, so...

**Matilda Williams**: ... What do you mean, "Autumn is in Gilbert"?

**Yao Wang**: Autumn possessed Gilbert and he's apparently going after Jeanette right now... but Antonio doesn't want anyone to intervene, because it's apparently something only she should deal with.

**Matilda Williams**: ... You've got to be kidding me.

**Yao Wang**: I kid you not.

**Matilda Williams**: I'll message you later.

**Yao Wang**: No, Matilda, wait! Don't go after him!

**Yao Wang**: ... I really shouldn't have said anything.

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Amelia F. Jones **|| **Arthur Kirkland**: Chantal is going to kill me.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Where are you?

**Amelia F. Jones**: No-o-o, I'm not givin' up my hiding spot!

**Arthur Kirkland**: What if I say I think I found your sister?

**Amelia F. Jones**: You found Mattie? XD

**Arthur Kirkland**: Possibly. I can hear her.

**Amelia F. Jones**: OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD - Arthur, I love you.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh, Amelia... that's not necessary.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yes it is! You are officially the coolest person on the planet. Hang on a sec, I'll find you. Muah!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright then. :)

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Arthur Kirkland **||** Antonio Carriedo**: Antonio, may I make your day?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Si, do so.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I found Renate.

**Antonio Carriedo**: No me digas! Really? Where?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Behind this wall. I can hear them.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Try talking to them. I'll tell the rest, okay?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Good idea.

* * *

**(Mobile - All) Antonio Carriedo**: Has good news. XD

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: What is it?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Arthur found Renate.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Oh really.

**Amelia F. Jones**: And Matilda!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Mein Gott... so they're not dead...

**Renate Edelstein**: No, we're perfectly fine.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Hmm. Good to hear.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Woot! Happy endings for all! [/throws flower petals]

**Lovino Vargas**: NO, NOT HAPPY ENDINGS. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BROTHER?

**Matilda Williams**: We have him.

**Lovino Vargas**: Oh. Okay. :)

**Feliciano Vargas**: But we're not done here... we still have to get Jeanette and Gilbert~!

**Lovino Vargas**: Oh, who gives a damn, as long as you're okay.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Aww, fratello~

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: You have your brother, now I need mine.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I found them.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Wow. You're just finding everyone. You're like a human GPS!

**Arthur Kirkland**: No seriously. I found them. They just fell off the roof.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Veh?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Que?

**Matilda Williams**: Eh?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Hey! It all rhymes. XD

**Arthur Kirkland**: They must have been on the roof or something...

**Renate Edelstein**: They're alive right?

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Can't tell from where I stand. Hang on, I'll return shortly.

**Matilda Williams**: Arthur? Gil's okay, right?

**Amelia F. Jones**: First comes love, then comes marriage...

**Matilda Williams**: ... I'm highly tempted to shoot you.

**Amelia F. Jones**: OHYMGOD, you and Chan totally teamed up against me, didn't you? TRAITOR. XP

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmidt** || **Antonio Carriedo**: So what happened exactly?

**Antonio Carriedo**: This is the abridged version, of course: Autumn (as Gilbert) went and caught up to Jeanette in the attic and tried to attack her, and they fought for a bit before Jeanette escaped up to the roof and continued their battle there, but Autumn grabbed Jeanette by the neck and almost threw her off the roof, but she managed to hold on still. Then Autumn left Gilbert's body, which made Gilbert fall off so Jeanette pushed herself off to grab him and they both hit the ground. Gilbert's okay, he's just kinda in shock and Jeanette might have broken her wrist, but besides that - no problem! Wait. What about the blood though?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: This is the abridged version of that situation: Apparently, Matilda was under the impression that a ghost was near her, so she fled the area and ran downstairs, however, Renate was going up the stairs at the same time. They crashed into each other and they both fell down the stairs, and Renate crashed into the column with the vase. The vase fell off and broke around her, and the impact caused some damage, enough to make her head bleed. Matilda told me that she had dragged Renate closer to her, thus causing the blood smear.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Ah! Wonderful! So I guess we're done here?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: I don't think so...

**Antonio Carriedo**: Ahaha... don't say that.

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy** || **Matilda Williams**: Mathilde~!

**Matilda Williams**: How can you message me with one hand?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Hn~ I'm simply skilled like that. Besides, I text better with my left hand anyway.

**Matilda Williams**: The list of "Random Things I Know About Jeanette" grows longer still...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: You'll love that list one day, Mattie.

**Matilda Williams**: So. Should we go home now?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: For now, yes.

**Matilda Williams**: ... W-What?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I'm not done. I want to know the complete story, I want to know exactly what happened.

**Matilda Williams**: B-But I thought... I thought you wanted nothing to do with the place.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I don't. However, the only way I'll get any rest is if THEY'RE put to rest.

**Matilda Williams**: I can help with that... a bit...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, Mattie, how?

**Matilda Williams**: First, go see how your wrist is, then I guess I'll... text you until you fall asleep?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: You're so sweet to me, I simply cannot bear it. Je t'aime, Mathilde. :)

**Matilda Williams**: I try. ^_^

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Lovino Vargas** || **Feliciano Vargas**: So. You have the key, and I have the box, right?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Si, fratello.

**Lovino Vargas**: And the box will supposedly help them move on, right?

**Feliciano Vargas**: That's what Matilda and Ren said. But Louis said it wouldn't help them... and - I don't want to let them have it.

**Lovino Vargas**: Because a ghost said so. Feliciano, that's bullshit.

**Feliciano Vargas**: No... because... I don't want to lose Lothaire.

**Lovino Vargas**: WHAT.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Lothaire reminds me of Lothario... Lovi, you don't understand! You don't know how much I miss him, Lovi...

**Lovino Vargas**: D-Damnit, don't cry...

**Lovino Vargas**: Alright. Alright. S-So, we're going to hide the music box from Jeanette and co.?

**Feliciano Vargas**: It's the only way. If we don't... I'll lose him.

* * *

**special agent akane**:... Warning: WALL OF TEXT. XP

As I've already told you, for anyone RomaHeta fans most of the OSTs are on YouTube. However, the third one reminded me so much of Amelia that I have to dub it as Amelia F. Jones's official theme song. XD It's upbeat and quirky and fast-paced, just like she is, and plus, I can totally picture her going to town on some monsters with this in the background. Go listen to it if you don't believe me. ... This is where I'd usually say, "God I wanna do a RomaHeta arc right now", but for one thing that would take FOREVER and be impossible to do over Facebook and two, I have the Nordics to deal with! XD

As also found Arthur's theme song. It's called Trinisette from Katekyo Hitman Reborn. It might take you a bit of thinking outside the box to connect it to Arthur, but the connection is so there, believe it.

But for the actual story itself: Yes, there WILL be another Bonnefoy house arc. However, it won't be for a while, because after I wrap up the Nordics&Baltics introductory arc, there's a 2-chapter arc introducing Feliks and Peter (yes, as in KIRKLAND), then after that is the reader-insert arc (which will also be posted below and is on my profile), and then after that is a special Arthur & Lovino arc. Little Patch of Heaven, I hereby dedicate the Tsunderes - Unite! arc to you.

Now for the reader-insert arc: Due to the fact that I am writing WAY too much for my own good, I would like YOU, my readers to come up with the (semi-)next arc for _The Internet Killed The Video Star_. That's right. BUT with a catch: whenever I do an arc contest like this, there will always be a theme. Which means the arc must be centered around this theme or this character. So, this contest's theme is: **Even Cupid Makes Mistakes**. Meaning, I would like to see a lot of **random romance.** Romance for NO purpose. Which pretty much means that everyone runs around and acts like Jeanette, Antonio, Gilbert, Hera, Lule, Ivan and drunk!Arthur (if you can't establish the connection, these are all of my "promiscuous" characters). But why? I don't know, reader, isn't it YOUR job to tell me why? XD You can leave reviews or PMs, and you can contact me through email, which I'll allow to be shown on the site, okay? XOXO. And most importantly, have a LOT of fun. ;)

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_] (Finally! =D)


	14. welcome to the world

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The Nordics. Well, let's just say that for the record, I tried. ;)

* * *

**Yousha. **Yup. Nordics/Baltics/Feliks/Peter arc basically. I know, I'm happy too. But for now, I need to focus on other characters. That's why there's a rather big break in between the first part and the second. _Peter Kirkland: Besides, don't you want to learn more about me? I mean, Arthur's gotten enough spotlight - it's my turn for a change! _**Little Patch of Heaven.** Lol, that's alright. ;) At least you don't live in Alfred's OTHER head. ... Yup. I'm hoping to cover in those arcs besides the Nordics and the Baltics, obviously - Feliks and Peter in the N&B arc, (if I don't get an idea for the reader-insert arc) Adrian, Elizabeta, Kiku, Lule, Hera in that arc, and of course Arthur and Lovino in their arc. Because once I put the Bonnefoy House Part 2 in there, there will be a massive shift towards Feliciano. So... yeah. And he does annoy Arthur a bunch, doesn't he? XD _Gilbert Beilschmidt: O/O Birdie likes me? ^^ Psh, of course she would! I'm the awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt? What's NOT to love? XD And how did Amelia catch onto that before I did? She's completely oblivious to Arthur liking her - I think. Dunno. You can never tell what sort of stuff's going on in that head of hers. She may just PRETEND she doesn't notice, but is really planning some awesome scheme to go flich Arthur away from Jeanette. :) _LOL You noticed! I decided since I've thrown in a major amount of FrUk hints lately, to switch it up a bit. Of course he's worried - but there's no way in hell he's going to admit to it. Yup. You basically figured out that arc before I had - so of course it's being dedicated to you. :) And no problem, I'm glad you're happy. **neko raccoon.** LMAO. Best. Analogy. Ever. And thank you very much, I hope you continue to enjoy the story. ^_^ _Jeanette Bonnefoy: Oh, of course we make World Affairs exciting, darling. But if you think it is fun here, imagine how such goes offline... ;) _**SuperA n Twch. **_Lovino Vargas: ME? With that - that - tea bastard? NO WAY. NO FRICKING WAY. Wait. As a real couple. no way in hell... [/blushes] But as a fake one... maybe. I'll sleep on it and respond later... _Poland makes, like, any arc completely and totally AWESOME. 2 in a row? Ouch. Glad I made your day so much better.

* * *

**session fourteen** :: welcome to the world [_kevin rudolf_]

- august 10th

* * *

**Andersen Densen**: First day of school... so not cool.

**Maiken Bondevik**: ... Stop complaining.

**Andersen Densen**: Stop being such a little stuck-up prick, geez. That's all you do, whine and complain and make fun of people.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Haha, that actually sounds like you.

[**Berwald Oxenstierna**_ likes this_]

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: I agree.

**Brynja Stilesson**: Just shut up, all of you, I'm sick of it.

**Maiken Bondevik**: Well, that just ended the discussion...

[**Andersen Densen**_ and_ **7** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Tino Väinämöinen**: Is NOT excited about being a freshman. Not at all.

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Andersen Densen**: Chill. We were all freshman once before.

**Maiken Bondevik**: It's not bad. Just stay away from Andersen.

**Andersen Densen**: There you go again! DX

**Maiken Bondevik**: Hmph.

**Brynja Stilesson**: She's just saying what others are thinking, according to her.

**Andersen Densen**: Mean much?

* * *

**Tino Väinämöinen** _and _**3** _others have joined the group _**APH**.

**Maiken Bondevik**: Gilbert. Why did you bother adding Andersen first?

**(Mobile) Andersen Densen**: Why did he bother adding YOU at all?

[**Amelia F. Jones** _likes this_]

**Maiken Bondevik**: Jealous whore.

**Andersen Densen**: Okay, now I take offense to THAT!

**Maiken Bondevik**: Wasn't talking to you.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oh, so you were talking to ME?

**Maiken Bondevik**: Yes.

**Amelia F. Jones**: First off - I have NOTHING to be jealous of. Second off, you calling me a whore is pointless. You're the biggest prude to walk the planet. Of COURSE everyone's a whore compared to you. So STFU and GTFO 'cause no one CARES.

[**Andersen Densen** _and _**5** _others like this_]

**Maiken Bondevik**: I can keep a boyfriend for more than two weeks, unlike you. So. Suck on that, you need an alternate to what you're usually sucking on anyway.

[**Arthur Kirkland **_and _**11** _others like this_]

**Matilda Williams**: Eh? You mean lollipops, right?

[**Amelia F. Jones **_and _**4** _others like this_]

**Maiken Bondevik**: No. I don't mean lollipops. However, I applaud your attempt to stick up for her, even if she doesn't need her lackeys to do that.

**Matilda Williams**: ... I'm not her lackey, fyi. I'm her SISTER.

**Maiken Bondevik**: ... Oh. Awkward...

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt**_ and _**12** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Officially hates this year's freshman class. DX

**(Mobile) Tino Väinämöinen**: What? Why? :(

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Not you. It's just a CERTAIN VERY ANNOYING SIBLING.

**Brynja Stilesson**: ... I thought all of your siblings were older?

**Xiang Wang**: Aisling and Aeden are in college, Adrian's a senior.

**Brynja Stilesson**: ... Are all Asians creepy stalkers?

[**Ivan Braginski** _likes this_]

**Kiku Honda**: I suppose so... Yao stalks me.

**Yao Wang**: DO NOT!

**Xiang Wang**: Don't deny it.

**Yao Wang**: I DO NOT!

**Xiang Wang**: Puh-lease. Screaming at me from the next room doesn't make it more believable. Especially when you're blushing so bad.

**Yao Wang**: A-AM NOT!

**Xiang Wang**: There you go again...

**Yao Wang**: AIYAAHH! I QUIT!

**Xiang Wang**: Xiang gains 501 experience points.

**Kiku Honda**: This isn't Pokemon, Xiang.

[**Arthur Kirkland **_and _**13** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: XIANG uses PEER PRESSURE on YAO for 9001 damange. It's super effective!

[**Kiku Honda** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Tch. Fucking nerd. XD

[**Arthur Kirkland** _likes this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Tino Väinämöinen**: Has a question for Gilbert.

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Tell the awesome Gilbert what your question may be. :)

**Tino Väinämöinen**: What does APH stand for?

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... No clue. XD I know that's ridiculous, but it's true. Haven't thought of an awesome name yet. :)

**Tino Väinämöinen**: That's funny. ^_^

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... Does he like everything you say?

**Tino Väinämöinen**: So far... yes.

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Tino Väinämöinen**: WHY do you keep doing that? That's kind of creepy!

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Because. You're my wife.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: ... W-What?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesesese~ I need some hot buttery popcorn to go with this...!

**Tino Väinämöinen**: GYAH! Berwald, PM me!

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt** || **Jeanette Bonnefoy**: You know, we need to hang out with the Nordic students more often~

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Porquoi?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I don't understand French! How many times do I have to say that?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Sorry. Why must we hang out with the Nordics?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: They're VERY interesting. Plus, I also think I've discovered some pretty awesome gossip...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Tell me. ^_^

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: As you wish. ;)

* * *

**special agent akane**: ... This is usually where I defend my honor, but I have a feeling that after this chapter, I don't really have that. XD Next chapter is the Baltics... with major intrusions by Ivan and Natalia. By the way, is it Natalya or Natalia? Because I actually like the first way better. (Like the whole Vash/Basch debate. I recently decided that it would be fun to play the neutral card in this feud and just call him Vasch. Especially since we're feuding over Switzy. ^^) So, that's that. Until next time?

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Merry Christmas!

**special agent akane**: ... Tino, dear? It's April in real life and August in the story. Nowhere near Christmas. :)

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Right... ^_^;; I know. It's just... habitual, I guess. :-)

**special agent akane**: Of course it is, Santa. ;)

[**Tino Väinämöinen**_ and _**1**_ other have logged off_]


	15. thanks for the memories

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

Only the Baltics can be considered each other's best friends yet know nothing about each other.

Oh, and by the way - since having the characters respond to your reviews is probably going to become a regular thing, you can directly ask the characters a question or say something to them. Believe me, they'll answer.

* * *

**YukaiYami. **Mmhm. I love reading them, they're hilarious. Most of the chapters in other FB are stand-alone chapters, which mean that each chapter has no significance to the others following or preceding it. So, I'm glad to be one of the very few (if at all first) to do so. Haha, yes it is. XD I just HAD to make that connection to chapter 8. _Brynja Stilesson: Can't tell us apart... I can fix that. Here's how Akane does it: Andersen Densen is Denmark. There are two ways to remember this. The first way is that Densen starts with a D, and so does Denmark. Akane remembers it before of Hans Christian Andersen, the Danish author most famous for his fairytales. Next, Maiken Bondevik is Norway. Akane remembers this because M is next to the letter N in the alphabet. Also, both the Ns in Maiken's name are the 6th and 9th letters. ... Just noticed that. Anyway. I, Brynja, am Iceland. How she remembers this is kinda odd, but it works. Iceland, although it's not a frigid wasteland, sounds like a cold place. Cold is usually associated with the color blue. The name Brynja reminds Akane of blue, because according to her, the "Bryn" part of my name sounds cold. Also, Brynja means "armour", and metal is cold to the touch - like ice. _**SuperA n Twch.** _Andersen Densen: You liked the lollipop thing? So did I. I was cracking up for a good five minutes after that all concluded. Oh God, Amelia's sister is just a little naive, ain't she? :) _^_^ I personally enjoyed the Pokemen reference bit because of its subtle hints at Arthur x Lovino. It's becoming a guilty pleasure couple of mine, ever so slowly. Oh, here: Andersen is Denmark, Brynja is Iceland, and Maiken is Norway. In the response above yours, I have ways to remember them, if that helps out at all. **andthenshesaid.** Hah. Not for me. I like heat and beaches and sun too much. [/is NOT a winter person] HAHA. I figured that since Arthur and Amelia clash so much, and Maiken is a lot like Arthur, that they would clash too. I think I'm pronouncing it wrong too. For some reason, I like doubling the "AI" part of her name, so it comes out like "my-AY-kin", when I think it's supposed to be "MY-kin". _Maiken Bondevik: DenNor? What DenNor? You say that like I would actually like the bastard... [/scoffs] Anyway... I hope you continue to enjoy this particular arc. _**MarothePanda.** Well, I'm certainly glad I managed to make you laugh. _Gilbert Beilschmidt: Oh, you have suggestions? Let's hear 'em. ... Kesesesese~ they're frickin' awesome. Favorite's the first one. But you know awesome people do have awesome hats. Like my black-and-white fedora! It's got a yellow feather on it! [/places it on Maro's head] Hah! You look so fucking cute, I can't stand it. XD _**Rina B. **_Amelia F. Jones: Tch, I know right? Maiken's a little bitch. [/grumbles] Well, least Mattie TRIED to help me out but still - she's just jealous she's not with someone as sexy as Artie. He may deny it, but please - he is SO mine. ;) _Pairings? Actually, there aren't a lot of real pairings right about now, but these are all the ones I've included/hinted at so far: UKCan (Arthur x Matilda), FrUKUS (Jeanette x Arthur x Amelia), PruCan (Gilbert x Matilda), FrSpain (Jeanette x Spain), Spamano (Antonio x Lovino), Edelswiss (Renate x Chantal), AusHun (Elizabeta x Renate), NiChu (Kiku x Yao), DenNor (Andersen x Maiken) and SuFin (Berwald x Tino). But that's for now, they'll probably increase later on. If you have any pairings you want to see, tell me and I'll see what I can do, okay? :) **phomma-chan.**_ Arthur Kirkland: Love, sorry to "rain on your parade" but... there was NOTHING calm about that fiasco. And to think Akane insists on making us go back... I'm not looking forward to it lass, but I do hope you adore reading about our adventure into Hell and back._ And besides, we high school students go watch marathons of Saw and Scream when we're not out partying till 2 AM, remember? (Haha, that is NOT me at all.) Really? Junior-going-on-senior, so I can't exactly attest to you currently. Well, of course Tino's the wife - when compared to Berwald, I don't think anyone can top him. Well... maybe Gilbert. But that's only because Gilbert can't usually deal with bottoming (it makes him feel contained and trapped). LOL, most likely. I have to think of it, although I did get a pretty good idea from someone. **FranceGirl.** _Jeanette Bonnefoy: Ah, if it isn't my little lovely doppleganger. Hello~ The Nordics ARE interesting, aren't they? From the little tidbit of gossip I have already received from Gilbert, I think I need to keep an eye on them... especially Andersen. [/giggles] _Trembling Trio? That's funny - the second you asked for that, the rest of this chapter appeared. It's like I magically summoned them through the floor or something... how weird, right? XD

... Dang it, me and my ridiculously long replies. Well. At least you can't get mad at me for NOT replying.

* * *

**session fifteen** :: thanks for the memories [_fall out boy_]

- august 11th

* * *

**(Mobile) Laima Laurinaitis **||** Eduard von Bock**: Studying?

**Eduard von Bock**: You say that like you expect something different. :) And where are you?

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Dairy Queen with Madara.

**Eduard von Bock**: Ah. Mind bringing me back a Reese's Blizzard?

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Oh, of course not. Why do you always get that?

**Eduard von Bock**: Because, it's my favorite... and I've never been inclined to try anything else...

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Right. I knew that. I was just testing you. But yeah, I'll get it for you...

* * *

**Ivan Braginski** || **Madara Galante**: Dara~ Can I ask you something?

**Madara Galante**: ... What is it?

**Ivan Braginski**: Do you look up to me?

**Madara Galante**: I kinda have to... -_-

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh right, I had forgotten that you're short. Do not worry, I can fix that~

**Madara Galante**: H-how...

**Ivan Braginski**: Stilts, Dara! Ooh, or we could try the stretching thing again. Which idea do you like better?

**Madara Galante**: Neither!

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, I know~ what about a steam-roller? That always works in the cartoons, da? I'll just run you over with it, and you'll be taller in no time~!

* * *

**Ivan Braginski**: Is wondering why he can get a steam-roller from. :)

**(Mobile) Laima Laurinaitis**: I-Ivan! You can't run Madara over with a steam-roller!

**Ivan Braginski**: And why not~? I thought I could do as I wished.

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Y-You'll k-kill her!

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, no, that would be bad.

**Ivan Braginski**: Can I use it on Amelia?

[**Maiken Bondevik** _and _**3**_ others like this_]

**Amelia F. Jones**: NO!

**Maiken Bondevik**: YES.

**(Mobile) Matilda Williams**: No, don't.

**Yao Wang**: Murder is a sin only if I'm the one committing it.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Et tu, Yao? Traitorous bastard!

[**Kiku Honda **_and _**5** _others like this_]

**Laima Laurinaitis**: NO! That's horrible! You freaked Madara out so bad, she fainted in her banana split!

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, did she now? Can you send me a picture?

**Laima Laurinaitis**: WHY do you want a picture?

**Ivan Braginski**: Because Dara looks so pretty when she's sleeping... ^_^

[**Edward von Bock**_ likes this_]

**Laima Laurinaitis**: ...

**Yao Wang**: Seriously? -_-

**Ivan Braginski**: Don't get jealous, Yao-Yao. You do too. :)

**Yao Wang**: DON'T CALL ME THAT. EVER. You damn creeper.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**6 **_others like this_]

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Don't get all upset, Yao-Yao.

**Yao Wang**: Oh, go to hell.

* * *

**Ivan Braginski **|| **(Mobile) Madara Galante**: I'm sorry I scared you Dara. :( I didn't mean it.

**Madara Galante**: ... What am I supposed to say to that? "It's okay"?

**Ivan Braginski**: Actually, Madara, that's EXACTLY what you're supposed to say to me.

**Madara Galante**: ... Okay. It's okay.

**Madara Galante**: I forgive you. Completely forgive you.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, stop it, you're making me blush~

**Ivan Braginski**: How about this? I'll make it up to you. It will just be me, you, and this here bottle of vodka. So? What do you say~?

**Madara Galante**: O_O W-What are you suggesting...

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, c'mon Dara, it will be fun, da? Just you and me.

**Madara Galante**: ... Really...

**Ivan Braginski**: Really. :) You know you want to~

**Madara Galante**: Fine. I'll come over. But on two conditions.

**Ivan Braginski**: What are they~?

**Madara Galante**: One, is Nikita there? And two - I want to study.

**Ivan Braginski**: No, she's not. And of course we can study, Dara~! I'll help you!

**Madara Galante**: ... Kay...

* * *

**Eduard von Bock **|| **(Mobile) Madara Galante**: Hey.

**Madara Galante**: Hey.

**Eduard von Bock**: Still out with Laima?

**Madara Galante**: Actually... no. I'm - I'm going to meet Ivan. We're going to study.

**Eduard von Bock**: Oh. I was wondering if you could come visit me, but since you're busy... dealing with Ivan...

**Madara Galante**: Um... yeah. Yeah. I'll see you later.

**Madara Galante**: Oh, and Laima has your Blizzard.

**Eduard von Bock**: Lovely.

* * *

**(Mobile) Madara Galante** || **Ivan Braginski**: You lied to me!

**Ivan Braginski**: No I didn't. Nikita wasn't home. And we did study. I studied you. And you studied me. :)

**Madara Galante**: I meant actual schoolwork! Not you... trying to seduce me...

**Ivan Braginski**: I thought you liked me, Dara. :(

**Madara Galante**: Not like THAT!

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, Dara, but I like YOU.

**Madara Galante**: ... Ivan...

**Ivan Braginski**: I was trying to say that when I kissed you. But I should have just said it, da? I scared you. :(

**Madara Galante**: ... Can I message you later? I just got into heavy traffic.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, dasvidanya. Es tevi milu. :3

* * *

**(Mobile) Madara Galante **|| **Laima Laurinaitis**: Ivan said he loved me. In Latvian.

**Laima Laurinaitis**: It's called Google Translate. I could have figured out how to say that.

**Madara Galante**: S-So, he's just using me?

**Laima Laurinaitis**: I didn't want to... I didn't mean to say it like that. It's just... Ivan's an attention addict.

**Madara Galante**: Okay...

**Laima Laurinaitis**: He likes attention, and when he finds someone that catches his attention, he'll do whatever he can to keep them where he wants them. Eduard and I know.

**Madara Galante**: H-How... what does he do to you?

**Laima Laurinaitis**: No, i-it's not exactly what's your thinking... it's not... he doesn't FORCE himself on us, physically, I mean... it's mental. W-We just, We're just enamored with him - I mean, no, we hate him, but when he doesn't want us to hate him, we don't. We can't help it. I mean, I'll sit there, and I'll repeat to myself that I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, but I don't, Madara. I can't. I'll stare into those pretty purple eyes of his and I'll love him, I'll want to marry him, but I CAN'T, I HATE him, he's childish and cruel and abusive and... it's hell. It's like he's trapped me in hell, and I can't get out. And it's like, whenever I try to get away from him, he just finds me again. It's the same with Eduard... even though Ed's a GUY and I don't even want to imagine THAT... but... that's Ivan for you. Or at least, as much of him as I can figure out...

**Madara Galante**: Laima? ... I - You're okay, right?

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Fine. Why do you ask?

**Madara Galante**: Laima... I'm sorry... I didn't know...

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Now you do. So when he sucks you down into his whirlpool of psychoticness at least you know what you're getting into, Dara.

**Madara Galante**: DON'T call me Dara. H-He does.

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Okay. I won't call you Dara, and you don't call me Laitiana.

**Madara Galante**: ... Deal.

* * *

**special agent akane**: "I have written a wicked book, yet feel as spotless as the lamb." know who that quote's from? Because for some ridiculously strange reason, that's how I feel after writing this. Odd, isn't it?

[**special agent akane**_ has logged off_]


	16. objection

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

* * *

**The Fox Familiar. **_Amelia F. Jones: Supposedly Akane just kinda made it up off of the spot like that. Actually, I think that's how she works entirely. [/laughs] Yo, but SO glad you're liking this story. It's because me right? Haha, what's not to love about the heroess? :) _**espanamazing.** As the Spain of my Hetalia group, I have to say that I love your username. That, m'dear, is epicness squared. _Arthur Kirkland: Oh really now? [/smirks] Just you wait, espana, Lovino and I have a little surprise for you later on. _**SuperA n Twch.** _Eduard von Bock: Reese's Blizzards are my favorite. You haven't been to Dairy Queen? Ever? That's certainly puzzling... remind me to pick you up a blizzard next time I go... _Romantically, Ivan is confusing. I COULD say he's in love with Madara, but I could also say he's not at the same time. It's due to his character, mostly. And plus, if I go along with my plan that I mentioned below, his belief in what love is and whether or not he can even feel it will be majorly warped. I almost feel kinda bad for him... On another note, Yay! You got the quote right! [/throws flower petals] **MattsyKunTehZebra.** ... There's a limit? I know there's a 140 character limit on Twitter, but I didn't know there was a limit on chatting. _Madara Galante: I can see him doing that too... and I don't want to! I-I like being short! [/shakes head] B-But I don't think Ivan will really try to crush me... Laima will make sure he doesn't. _**Eternally1Yours.** Yay! You got it right too! [/throws more flower petals] ... Darn it, I'm out of flower petals. I need to ask Jeanette for some more. Hang on a second, can you talk to Laima while I grab them? _Laima Lauriniatis: I agree. Ivan with construction equipment... [/shudders] It's like something out of a horror film... Like the world isn't already in danger with his existence... [/looks around franctically] D-Don't tell him I said that! _**andthenshesaid.** _Ivan Braginski: I know. This fanfiction site hasn't been working lately. Akane is rather frustrated by it. Oh~ you really like me? Hm. ^_^ That makes me happy. Oh, but I love Yao-Yao as well. We have been friends so quite a while, now that I think about it. But Dara IS cute, da? She's adorable~ Actually... there are a lot of cute people out in the world. You are one of them. :D_ 'Kay I'm back. [/throws more flower petals] Aw, thanks. That's very sweet of you. :) I tried to get Ivan the best I could - and since a lot of people make him this evil and immorally cruel being, I decided against that. Yeah, Ivan has his sadist moments, but he doesn't really mean it. And I'm glad you like him like this. I do too. Holy snap. =O That's a lot of work. We're having standardized tests at our school and whatnot, so I've had a really low-key week at school. Ha, no worries. That's a promise I can keep, m'dear. XD **FranceGirl.** _Jeanette Bonnefoy: As am I. It gets quite interesting in this chapter, although I'm not in it. As of now I'm perfecting my texting with one hand technique. ;) So far it's do quite well. So this means I shall see you soon, no? I simply cannot wait. :) _Lol. :) Me as England. Well, I was TRYING to summon Ivan but for some reason the chapter popped up! Maybe I messed up the chant somewhere... I got Dumbledora the Explorer right... I probably messed up somewhere around the Jackson 5... Dang. I'm going over to Iggy's place right now so I can borrow his spellbook. I'm sure he won't mind. Besides, it's not breaking and entering if you have the key (even if you stole said key from Amelia). XD In the meantime, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**session sixteen** :: objection [_shakira_]

- august 12th

* * *

**Berwald Oxenstierna **_is in a relationship with _**Tino Väinämöinen **.

[**Peter Kirkland **_and _**11** _others like this_]

**Brynja Stilesson**: WHOA.

**Maiken Bondevik**: My thoughts exactly.

**Andersen Densen**: DAMN. That was FAST.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesesese! Can't believe it actually HAPPENED.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: You weren't kidding Gilbert.

**Amelia F. Jones**: WTF? You guys actually KNEW this was coming?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: And you did not?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Dude, I didn't even know Berwald was GAY.

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt **_and _**2** _others like this_]

**Maiken Bondevik**: ... Neither did I.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You didn't know about them hooking up either?

**Maiken Bondevik**: Not that. I didn't know Berwald was attracted to men.

[**Andersen Densen **_likes this_]

**Brynja Stilesson**: Congrats regardless...

**(Mobile) Tino ****Väinämöinen **: W-W-What the hell? I'm - We're not even dating!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Amelia! You devious little hacker. XD Awesome job.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Ehmagawd, I hacked Mattie's account ONCE and everyone gives me grief. Not cool. -flails-

**Tino ****Väinämöinen** : But we're NOT dating!

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Yes we are.

**Tino ****Väinämöinen** : Since WHEN?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Since... 22 minutes ago.

**Tino ****Väinämöinen** : O-Oh my God... Berwald! Message me.

* * *

**Berwald Oxenstierna** || **(Mobile)** **Tino ****Väinämöinen** : Did I upset you?

**Tino Väinämöinen**: No - just don't randomly post this stuff! Didn't you see the reactions?

**Tino ****Väinämöinen** : Since WHEN did you decide to randomly pair us together anyway?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Because I like you. But I've known you for so long, you're like family. So the only way I can like you and you still be a part of my family, is if you're my wife.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Wait... you LIKE me? As in... you LIKE LIKE me?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Yes.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Um... wow...

**Tino Väinämöinen**: But - I mean... you could have just said so... to me... why didn't you just say that instead of posting it on Facebook?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Because you have some trouble understanding me through my accent.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Haha. That's true... :)

* * *

**Andersen Densen **|| **(Mobile)** **Tino Väinämöinen**: You're not going to change your relationship status?

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Hmm... no. :)

**Andersen Densen**: O_O

* * *

**Andersen Densen**: IS SOOOO CONFUSED. O_O

[**Maiken Bondevik**_ and _**17** _others like this_]

**Antonio Carriedo**: I just got on and found out.

**Adrian Kirkland**: I'm all with ya, lad. This has completely blown my mind.

**Arthur Kirkland**: That's impossible.

**Adrian Kirkland**: And how exactly is this impossible, sire?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Twat, you need a brain first.

[**Xiang Wang **_and _**5** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Laima Lauriniatis**: Congratulations to them. ^_^

**Eduard von Bock**: I'm shocked as well...

**Brynja Stilesson**: You're telling me.

**Andersen Densen**: Next thing I know - Bryn will go lesbian for Maiken. THEN the world will end.

* * *

**Brynja Stilesson** || **Maiken Bondevik**: If the world will end because of that, then let's bring on the apocalypse.

**Maiken Bondevik**: More like 2012.

**Brynja Stilesson**: HA.

* * *

**Brynja Stilesson **_is engaged to _**Maiken Bondevik**.

**Andersen Densen**: WTF! O_O?

[**Brynja Stilesson **_and _**10** _others like this_]

**Andersen Densen**: Is this some kind of JOKE?

**Maiken Bondevik**: Silly Andersen. Tricks are for kids.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**15 **_others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: So you're actually NOT joking? O_O

**Brynja Stilesson**: Of course not. Right, Maiken Stilesson?

**Maiken Bondevik**: Right.

* * *

**Maiken Bondevik** || **Brynja Stilesson**: How long should we keep the deception up?

**Brynja Stilesson**: As long as it takes.

**Maiken Bondevik**: Hang on - message.

**Brynja Stilesson**: From...?

**Maiken Bondevik**: Feliciano. He's saying he's happy for us and wants to know when the wedding is.

**Brynja Stilesson**: Tell him the truth. And also make sure to tell him to NOT repeat this to Andersen.

**Maiken Bondevik**: Got it. Should I send messages to other people as well?

**Brynja Stilesson**: Sure.

* * *

**(Mobile) Laima Lauriniatis **|| **Chereneko Braginski**: Where's Ivan?

**Chereneko Braginski**: No clue... he's probably -

**Chereneko Braginski**: - Hiding from Nikita.

**Chereneko Braginski**: Why?

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Because... I wanted to talk to him about something.

**Chereneko Braginski**: About...?

**Laima Lauriniatis**: About Nikita.

**Chereneko Braginski**: Um... sure. I'll - I'll go look.

* * *

**(Mobile) Laima Lauriniatis** || **Madara Galante**: Why is it that we're drawn to people with cracked mentalities? I mean... my best friend's a cross-dresser. There are some days when I have no idea what Feliks's gender is.

**Madara Galante**: What do you mean?

**Laima Lauriniatis**: It's Nikita. I've had this longing... t-this crush, you could say, on Nikita for the longest time...

**Madara Galante**: You're insane.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: I'm well aware.

**Madara Galante**: You're asking for a world of hurt.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: I'm going to ask him out.

**Madara Galante**: He might just kill you.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: It's a risk I'm willing to take! You know... f-for love...

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Eduard von Bock** || **Laima Lauriniatis**: So how many fingers of yours did he break?

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Only two. I - I think he actually likes me... [/blushes]

**Eduard von Bock**: It has now occurred to me that the three of us are masochists.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: ... And the saddest part about this... is that you're right.

* * *

**special agent everest**: I tried to lighten this chapter up from the last one, because now that I look over it, the ending was slightly depressing. But that's how it is with Ivan, I guess. It's kind of hard to, especially with...

**special agent everest**: I just got a brilliant idea for an arc. I'm not sure when I'll do it, but I MIGHT do it after this one - and - it'll be like a puzzle for you guys to solve. Each chapter will contain clues, and basically you have to figure out what happened. It may be a little tricky to write, but I can do it. It'll revolve around Ivan, have hints of both Ivan x Yao and Ivan x Amelia, and will probably be, if not depressing, then at least angsty. However, I think this is a rather good balance, considering that the Tsunderes Unite! arc will contain little to no angst whatsoever. Tell me what you all think about this, because if you like it enough to where you want me to write it, I will.

**special agent everest**: On an unrelated note, I was watching part 14 of HetaQuest and when I got to around 11:06 guess who I saw in it. Jeanette. That's right. JEANETTE BONNEFOY. I'm not kidding either! That's exactly how I envisioned her, it's PERFECT. [/is a very happy little fangirl] Maybe sometime in the future, I might write about HetaQuest... because right now I am head-over-heels in love.


	17. all i want

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

* * *

**SuperA n Twch.** _Gilbert Beilschmidt: What? They don't have a Dairy Queen in Britain? Oh, we're going to fix that somehow. How 'bout you just hop into my van and I take you back to the States? Oh wait - van can't go underwater. No worries, the awesome me will figure it out soon enough. You're trying that ice cream. :) _Seriously? I thought HetaQuest would be more popular than this... but anyway, it's really REALLY good. It's on YouTube, and I believe part 16.1 is out right now. HetaOni is good too, but I have to say I'm preferring HetaQuest over HetaOni right now. LOL. No, Peter's not in this chapter, he's in the one after this though. Feliks made an early appearance though! XD He's 14. Peter's a freshman, along with Xiang, Tino, and Brynja. **Little Patch of Heaven.** I love it too. ^^ Plus, it's fun to watch Ivan get jealous but refuse to act jealous because if he does, Nikita will jump him. XD I'm glad I could do that for you! I've always loved Santa - I mean, Tino - so Tino was most of the reason I couldn't wait to get to the Nordics. Thanks for the feedback. I like Amelia x Ivan too, if it's done right. Ivan's kinda hard to write romance for sometimes, isn't he? But very satisfying to do. Angst IS always awesome. I like angst. It helps me bond with them in a way. _Feliciano Vargas: Veh? You haven't heard of HetaQuest either? Oh no, that's terrible! Hurry, after you read this, run to YouTube and search it! Well~ you may want to read the chapter first. THEN go search it~! It's really good, and plus - I'm the main character! So will you go watch it? Please~? _**FranceGirl**. _Arthur Kirkland: What's that about breaking into my house again, Jeanette? Surely, you wouldn't attempt such a - wait. How does Amelia have a KEY TO MY HOUSE? ... Either Adrian GAVE it to her, or Peter went off and LOST it somewhere or... Hang on. She took my spellbook as well? Damn it, Akane! -_- Well, if I had any say in such things, Laima shouldn't be with someone so wrong for her... then again... I - I'm crushing on you, aren't I, so I really have no room to talk..._ ... I'd tell him you're not Jeanette, but since in a sense you ARE - and plus you're probably enjoying that - I'm not going to. XD Have fun with Arthur~! **phomma-chan**. Not you too! DX Dang it! This is getting ridic. WE need to have our own movie night with HetaQuest! HetaOni IS scary. But I enjoy it, regardless, even if it makes me feel absolutely desolate for Feliciano. _Ivan Braginski: Want me to explain it for you, phomma? I shall~ Basically, Akane will have a question you need to answer, and she'll put the question under the date and there will be clues to answering it scattered throughout the chapter. Of course, we have three chapters to go before we get there, and then Akane shall explain more. Is that an okay explaination? I hope I did you well~._ LOL. Matilda will be pretty relavent in the next Bonnefoy House arc and eventually I'll give her an arc of her own. And I'll try to stick to those two pairings for Ivan, UNLESS, I feel like being a homewrecker that day. **Eternally1Yours.** What's the point in that? If he changes it, he'll just change it back later. XD _Berwald Oxensterina: I had to be direct. Sometimes I think, Tino doesn't completely understand me, so direct is the best route. At least... it got us both what we wanted. ^^_ **The Fox Familiar. **_Nikita Arlovskaya: ... I'm male. Nikita is a Russian/Macedonian name, and it's a form of the name Niketas, which, in Ancient Greek, means "victory." Appropriate, considering that I shall have victory over Ivan one day~ _**Rina_B.** I'm trying to include both USUK and FrUK to establish the fact that it's a love triangle we have going on. Right now, it's leaning more towards FrUK, but it will eventually be evened out later. _Amelia F. Jones: Chyeah, it'll be evened out later. I want my Arthur time too. :( But it's cool, I'll just use my awesome ninja love skills and steal him from Jean. Trust me, I'mma do it. _They ARE cute, aren't they? That's why they're almost canon. XD It's sheerly adorable.

* * *

**session seventeen** :: all i want [_a day to remember_]

- august 13th

* * *

**(Mobile) Andersen Densen**: Has an idea. XD

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: What is it?

**Andersen Densen**: Tomorrow should be APH's first official Movie Night. ^_^

[**Eduard von Bock** _and_ **11** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: How are we going to organize that? We have over 30 members!

**Andersen Densen**: We watch the movies at home and comment about them on FB.

[**Amelia F. Jones**_ and _**11** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Hmm...

**Feliciano Vargas**: I like it! :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: It's not a bad idea.

**Andersen Densen**: Then let's do it! What d'you say, Gilbo?

[**Adrian Kirkland** _and _**2 **_others like this_]

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: GILBO? XD

[**Antonio Carriedo** _likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh, go smoke your lungs out, will you, Adri? -_-

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**4 **_others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Adri. God, I love it. X)

**Adrian Kirkland**: Go rot somewhere, will ya Eyebrows?

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_and _**5** _others like this_]

**Amelia F. Jones**: LOL what's with the nicknames?

**Kiku Honda**: Ame-chan is right. I thought we were planning movie night.

**Ivan Braginski**: Ki-Ki is also right. Aren't you Ki-Ki~

[**Yao Wang **_likes this_]

**Yao Wang**: Kiki? Like in Kiki's Delivery Service! =D

**Maiken Bondevik**: Yao... you couldn't possible troll any harder.

[**Arthur Kirkland **_and _**10** _others like this_]

**Andersen Densen**: You would know. You're an expert on trolls.

[**Brynja Stilesson** _and _**16 **_others like this_]

* * *

**Maiken Bondevik** _poked_ **Andersen Densen**.

**(Mobile) Andersen Densen**: Was that necessary?

**Maiken Bondevik**: Yes. Stupid prick.

* * *

**Brynja Stilesson **_has invited _**Andersen Densen** _to play _**CafeWorld**.

**Andersen Densen**: What the heck.

**Brynja Stilesson**: I need more neighbors. -_-

**Xiang Wang**: Um, hello - I'm your neighbor.

**Brynja Stilesson**: True. But I need one more to be able to expand my Cafe.

**Xiang Wang**: Oh.

**Andersen Densen**: You know, I'll accept it. But I'm not going to play it.

* * *

**Andersen Densen** _has reached level_ **5** _on _**CafeWorld**.

[**Brynja Stilesson **_like this_]

**Brynja Stilesson**: Ha. ;)

**Andersen Densen**: It's addicting! DX

[**Antonio Carriedo** _and _**5** _others like this_]

**Yao Wang**: Addicting? I don't see how.

**Xiang Wang**: Like, please. Says the Level 41 Chef.

[**Mei Wang**_ and _**4 **_others__ like this_]

**Yao Wang**: I don't STAY on it all day!

**Xiang Wang**: It's always on one of your browser tabs though.

**Yao Wang**: Stalker! What, are you creeping on me? DX

**Xiang Wang**: Because you leave your browser open when you leave. Like, all the time. Duh.

**Yao Wang**: ... See what I have to live with?

[**Kiku Honda **_likes this_]

**Brynja Stilesson**: LOL. ^^

* * *

**Brynja Stilesson**: Has almost forgotten she was engaged to Maiken.

[**Chantal Zwingli **_and _**12** _others like this_]

**Maiken Bondevik**: How you could forget?

**Brynja Stilesson**: I know. I'm sorry Mrs. Maiken Stilesson.

[**Maiken Bondevik **_and _**2** _others_ _like this_]

**Andersen Densen**: ... Can I object now?

[**Tino Väinämöinen** _and _**7** _others like this_]

**Tino Väinämöinen**: LOL, it's not time for the wedding yet.

[**Berwald Oxenstierna **_likes this_]

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas** || **Brynja Stilesson**: So~ Andersen still doesn't know that it's not real?

**Brynja Stilesson**: He doesn't have a clue.

**Feliciano Vargas**: But... are you going to tell him?

**Brynja Stilesson**: No, I want to watch him drown in his denial for a bit.

**Feliciano Vargas**: ^^

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh! Oh! Bryn! I just thought of something~

**Brynja Stilesson**: ?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Hang on, I'll be RIGHT back~!

* * *

**Brynja Stilesson **_and _**6 **_others_ _has joined the group _**Cupido Aiutanti**.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _likes this_]

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: Cupid's Helpers, but in Italian? I like. :)

**Feliciano Vargas**: Si~! Our mission is to assist others in their search for true love!

**Feliks Łukasiewicz**: Like, how cute! I freaking LOVE it.

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: Oh, THIS'LL be FUN. XD

**Lule Adnan**: Absolutely. I'm excited for this.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Why, I am honored to be a part of this! I shall assist in any way I can, my darlings!

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yay~!

**Adrian Kirkland**: So, whose our first target?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Hmmm...~

* * *

**Eduard von Bock** || **(Mobile) Laima Lauriniatis**: Did you get the movie night invite?

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Did you?

**Eduard von Bock**: I did.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: This actually sounds fun. What movie should we watch?

**Eduard von Bock**: Hmm, no idea. Let's ask Madara?

**Laima Lauriniatis**: I did earlier. She suggested we watch Tangled, but then apparently Ivan wanted to borrow it so...

**Eduard von Bock**: Why, is she watching that with him?

**Laima Lauriniatis**: No clue...

**Eduard von Bock**: Well, then we better solidify our movie plans before Ivan tries to intervene.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Are you coming here or am I going to you?

**Eduard von Bock**: I have a larger movie collection.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: It's a deal, then. :)

* * *

**Yao Wang** || **Ivan Braginski**: Ivan?

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, Yao-Yao. What is it? ^_^

**Yao Wang**: What did I say about that, Ivan? Don't call me that!

**Ivan Braginski**: You said I could use it at any time. :]

**Yao Wang**: N-No I didn't! I said the opposite!

**Ivan Braginski**: Yao-Yao... don't get all upset. If it upsets you so, then I won't use it. ;(

**Yao Wang**: ... Really.

**Ivan Braginski**: Really! XD

**Yao Wang**: Okay. Oh, what I was going to ask you: How come you never changed your relationship status?

**Ivan Braginski**: Hmm? I'm confused, Yao.

**Yao Wang**: You never changed it - it still says you're in a relationship with me.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, well, what do you know? It does. XD

**Yao Wang**: Ivan!

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, you're such a killjoy~ Fine, fine, I shall change it back...

* * *

**Ivan Braginski** _is single_.

[**Yao Wang **_and _**2**_ others like this_]

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, is it over already?

**Matilda Williams**: Did you ever figure out who hacked into your account, Ivan?

**Ivan Braginski**: No, I haven't Matanya.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh! Matanya~ let's play detective and find out!

**Matilda Williams**: No harm in doing that. ^^

**Ivan Braginski**: Yay. Let's start now!

**Matilda Williams**: Okay.

**Arthur Kirkland**: IVAN uses DECEPTION to lure MATILDA into his trap!

[**Lovino Vargas** _likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: Arthur, you need a life. Go buy one off of Ebay. XD

[**Amelia F. Jones** _and _**15 **_others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) special agent akane:** For all of your Peter Kirkland fangirls, Peter will officially make his first FB post in the next chapter, then chapter 19 revolves completely around him. Same with 20, but instead of Peter, it's Feliks who gets the spotlight. And tomorrow is movie night via Facebook. XD I'll probably have some cute little get-together-event towards the end of every arc like this, so I don't know what I'll do for Ivan's yet, but I'll figure it out.

**special agent akane**: Oh snap, Arthur's online. GTG.

[**special agent akane**_ has logged off_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright, I have a request for you all. See, Akane somehow got a key to my house, went inside and borrowed my spellbook. Problem is: I need it back. That, and I had no idea where she could be at the moment. Only clue she left me is that she's hiding **under the wings of the black eagle**. Now, I AM intelligent enough, and with enough time I could figure this out, but time is soemthing I don't have. Care to help me, loves? Of course, this isn't a gratituous act - I'll reward you in a way for this. So, with that being said: anyone have any clue where she could be?


	18. slow down

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

BTW. Longest chapter ever. This is over 4000 words - and I didn't even add everything I wanted to. CMV. (Which is FML in Italian.)

* * *

**FranceGirl.** _Arthur Kirkland: ... I need that spellbook Jeanette. First off, she's not supposed to know it exists, and second off - I can't use if she has it. A-And... alright then. I suppose I'll have to do just that, then... Jeanette. W-Will you go out with me? _It's not lame at all. What hater told you that? And I'm gla I have a real-life Jeanette. Arthur's glad too. ^^ LOL This chapter got long as heck. XD And of course Cupid Helper's are going to stir up some love. Just wait until they start working on internal affairs... =D **Squishing Bananas. **_Adrian Kirkland: Why, sure, we take requests! I'll see if I can work on that on the sly... or I WON'T do it on the sly and watch Jeanette blow her little top off. Internal affairs are FUN to deal with... =D_ Gosh, darn it, don't give away my position! [/looks around] Okay. Phew. I'm still safe. **SuperA nTwch.** AGAIN? Well, at least I have one person not trying to turn me in. LOL Yellow Submarine. XD And of course you're excited, who doesn't love free ice cream with Gilbert? Um... I just typed in HetaQuest 1 and I got it. It's explained more later on in the story - but part 1 is where Italy and America are transported to an alternate universe. All of the uploaded chapters of HetaQuest are about Feliciano right now, so... yay. :) Who doesn't love Feli? LOL, Peter's older than you? A freshman is a ninth grader, or someone in their ninth year. Sophomore is tenth, junior is eleventh, and senior is twelvth. _Andersen Densen: I know, right? I wouldn't have played it had Bryn not "needed" another neighbor so badly. Dang CafeWorld... but on the plus side, woohoo! I'm on level 6! _The only thing that you can't buy on Ebay are anime characters, otherwise, I would have Allen Walker, Yao Wang, Antonio Carriedo, Hayato Gokudera, Mukuro Rokudo, Light Yagami, Mello and Haruhi Fujioka. XD (I needed ONE female friend.) And I don't mind that your reviews are long, it gives me more to write! :) **Aleksi Braginski-Jones. **Hi Alaska! It's Massachusetts. =D _Arthur Kirkland: People keep saying she's there, I may have to go over and check for myself... thanks for the tip. I appreciate it. :)_ LOL, thank you. ^^ Arthur's such a nerd, but we love him regardless. **Lydiacatfish. **DANG IT. Stop guessing this stuff! LMAO, you watched those too? My favorite is the Mafia Wars one. Now, I need to respond to the rest of these reviews and TAKE A RIDE INTO THE CARPAL TUNNEL. XD **Alice Barden. **Huzzah! God, I've forgotten how much I love that word. XD _Renate Edelstein: That's a quite rational point. Actually, she got the clue from HetaQuest but it also pertains to the flags as well... Akane is quite HetaQuest obsessed from what I see. Hmph. Hiding under a flag is not beneath her either. I wouldn't be surprised if she were not under a flag. _... Will you at least give me SOME dignity? Geez! [/shoves flag off] I'm going to find a new hiding spot. **phomma-chan.** Well, that's where I got it from, however, you can solve the puzzle without knowing HetaQuest or HetaOni or RomaHeta. LOL I wish I was under KFC. Free Double Down sandwiches? YES PLEASE. =D But nice try, I'm not at America's house though~! _Amelia F. Jones: Haha, I wish she was at my place though. I want that spellbook! Imagine what I could do with that. Oh, there's SO many things I could do... XD_ **Little Patch of Heaven. **Well, technically I AM in his house, but it's not HIS wing I'm under. :) _Arthur Kirkland: A love spell? No, actually I was going to - what? A-A-I wouldn't use a love spell on them! I-I would never consider such a thing! For either of them! I... No, that's not a good idea... blast it, you have me thinking about that now...!_ I know, I can't wait. I'm trying not to prematurely fangirl over the two of them because I've got Ivan's arc to do! :) LOL, I know. Since there's going to be a gap in between now and the Tsunderes Unite! arc, I'm trying to at least establish some grounds for them right now, because once I get into Ivan, there's not going to be a lot of them. Yeah, it is a fail movie night. And I didn't even add everything I was going to. XD Oh yes he will. Feliciano will probably be their biggest support system, even better since he has connections to be Jeanette AND Antonio. =D EXACTLY! LOL Jeanette will hate this, especially when Adrian starts to pick up on a few things... **maple lover.** _Matilda Williams: I wish I could buy your username off of Ebay. As a fellow maple lover, I have to say that I like it. :) And no problem! Akane's glad you're enjoying it, so I'll be sure to pass along the message. Thanks again for reviewing. _**Shinyfox. **Yup! Peter is in this chapter, and then chapter 19 is completely revolved around him. World, meet Peter Kirkland, and prepare for a surprise! And besides, don't you know that a life isn't the only thing you can buy off of Ebay? How do you think I got Peter? XD _Peter Kirkland: Hey! I take offensive to that!_ Take all the offensive you want, Pete. ^^ DANG it, people, stop guessing this right. DX How am I supposed to hide if you keep telling Arthur these things? **Yukai yumi. **... I swear, I'm going to go crazy. Stop. Guessing. It. Right. I need to use a harder clue next time! To Wikipedia! XD LOLOL Yes, they are. _Ivan Braginski: Mmm, it's going to be fun. I like teaming up with Matanya. Supposedly, Matanya and Amelia team up with me in the next arc, but of course, dear sweet Akane does not tell me what is happening next... I do not LIKE this, but I suppose I do not have much of a say. For now, I shall handle it. ^^ _XD Why, thank you. I appreciate it. **The Silent Cartographeresse.** Pretty name. :) Probably because the state bird is the bald eagle? But no, it's not Amelia I'm hiding with, although everyone ELSE has tipped him off so much there's no point. DX So do I, actually. While, USUK is adorable and at times, I do like it more, usually, FrUK wins. Hmm. I like France/Spain too, but that's mostly because I firmly believe that the Bad Touch Trio is really just an on-again-off-again threesome. Oh, don't deny it. _Ivan Braginski: Awww~ thank you. [/hugs her back] So sweet~ I am glad you like me. I don't come across as scary, at least I do not think, but apparently, I do. Hmm. And Matanya IS cute! I am glad that someone else sees her like that as well. ^^_ LOL, that's EXACTLY what they're going to do. Oh, definitely. I love GerIta, however, there will PROBABLY end up being some Germano thrown in as well, because that's one of my favorite pairings ever. :) Oh my God, finally. Someone noticed that. XD Yes, that's exactly who it is! Well, actually, Lothaire isn't really HRE, BUT he's quite similiar. The real HRE comes in later. =D But seriously, do you know how ecstatic I was when I read your comment? 8D **natcat5.** Wow. Nice commitment. ^_^ I definitely honor you for that, I know I couldn't have done it. Well, the Bonnefoy House house didn't exactly END, to say. It "ended" on Chapter 13, but here's why I have quotation marks around it: See, Matilda and Renate (who had earlier on gone missing) caught up with one of the ghosts in the house named Thomas. Thomas explained to them about a music box that their mother used to always play whenever they were upset or angry, and every time it temporairly got rid of whatever hatred they had felt for each other. Since, according to Thomas, that hate is what's binding them to Earth still, he wants them to find the music box. Only problem is, Feliciano and Lovino have the music box and the key for it, and Feliciano doesn't want to use the music box. If he does, he's scared that he will lost Lothaire, who, reminds him immensely of someone dear to him that he used to know. However, Jeanette wants to go back to the house to find the music box, because Matilda told her Thomas's theory, and now she feels she has to act on it. _Jeanette Bonnefoy: Do not antagonize me here, I can't just LEAVE the house without finding a way to free them from it. That way, I don't have to deal with everything that comes with it. It's gone. And I can move it. Simple as that. _I will go back to it, however, I wanted to touch base on some of the other characters first, THEN I'll return. Did I explain it well enough? Oh, and UK/China is a part of my OT3. SO... ^^ Yeah. That's why it was there - I couldn't resist. **rae112.** _Lovino Vargas: H-Hey! Now wait a second, first people are saying I'm in love with that tomato-bastard, and now you're saying it's the TEA-bastard? WTF? Since when I was so attracted to men anyway? _Since now. ^^ I can't wait either. Don't worry, rae, only two more arcs to go. Only two more. We can do it! **Eternally1Yours. **_Arthur Kirkland: Don't look at me like that. You know it's true - Ivan can be extremely deceptive, I'm just watching out for her. Simple as that. _XD Well, no more waiting! Peter's in this chapter! :) And no, I'm not at Amelia's house (although I wouldn't mind that too much. Ame's cool. ^^) **ThePsychicAnimelovingBookworm.** Long username is long. 8D Aww, well thank you! I'm flattered. [/hugs] Oh, I know. I mean, I like my USUK, but come on... I kinda wish that not every third fanfiction was USUK. Nah, I'm not offended. And thank Little Patch of Heaven for the love triangle, she gave me the idea. LOL, true. I'm not really an incest writer... (notice how Nikita hasn't really appeared yet? Yeah. That's why.) Anyway, thanks for your review. =)

... I am officially going towards the light at the end of the carpal tunnel. MYGOD, 16 reviews? I appreciate the love so much though. =)

* * *

**session eighteen** :: slow down [_bobby valentino_]

- august 14th

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: STOP! It's -

**Adrian Kirkland**: Kidnapping time? ;)

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt **_and _**4** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: LOL! XD

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: Dislike.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**1 **_other like this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: Don't lie, lass, you loved it.

**Renate Edelstein**: "Let's do something stupid and immature per usual" time?

[**Chantal Zwingli** _and _**17** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesesesese~ not this time~

**Feliciano Vargas**: Hug time! =D

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Aw, you're so freaking cute, Feli!

**(Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ...

[**Lule Adnan **_likes this_]

**Lule Adnan**: I detect JEALOUSY. XD

[**Elizabeta Hedevary **_and _**6** _others like this_]

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Excellent observation, Lule. ;)

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: But no, you haven't guessed it either.

**Amelia F. Jones**: FLAME ON TIME! XD

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Well, we know what movie YOU'RE going to watch...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: And Arthur Kirkland gets the prize! Silly APHers, it's MOVIE TIME!

[**Laima Lauriniatis** _and _**32** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: So, tell us, APHers, what movies are YOU watching and with who?

**Amelia F. Jones**: I'm watching Cloverfield with Adrian!

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: Mmhm. ;)

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: ... Don't TRY anything, stupid.

**Adrian Kirkland**: I'm not going to try anything. I'm going to DO it. =3

[**Feliks Łukasiewicz **_likes this_]

**Antonio Carriedo**: Jean, Gil, Lud and I are watching Bad Boys II. =)

**(Mobile) Tino Väinämöinen**: Berwald, Peter and I are watching The Core!

**(Mobile) Lule Adnan**: Kiku and Hera are with me to see Get Him To The Greek.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh God, and Kiku agreed to that?

**Lule Adnan**: Why?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I saw that movie with Adrian in theatres...

**Adrian Kirkland**: Oh, Kiku'll LOVE it. XD

**Ivan Braginski**: Well, I know WHO I'm watching the movie with, but not WHAT...

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, never mind. I'm watching Black Swan with Yao and Matanya~. =D

**Amelia F. Jones**: DO MINE EYES DECEIVE MEH?

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Is "meh" in the dictionary?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Mattie! I thought you were watching Cloverfield with us!

**(Mobile) Matilda Williams**: I've already seen Cloverfield with Arthur.

**Amelia F. Jones**: I doubt you two watched any of it!

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _and _**4** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Xiang, Maiken and I are watching the Black Cauldron.

**(Mobile) Yao Wang**: That's one of my favorite movies. :)

**Andersen Densen**: Please. Brynja and I are watching Sherlock Holmes circa 2009. Top that, Artie.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: I'm watching Spider-Man 3 with Feliks.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Lemme guess - that was HIS pick.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: It was, funny enough.

**(Mobile) Feliks Łukasiewicz**: What? Peter Parker is like, gorgeous. XD

**Feliciano Vargas**: Lovi and I are watching Tron: Legacy! ;)

**Lovino Vargas**: Light-cycles not included.

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: I'm watching Tangled with Renate and Chantal! Chantal is Rapunzel!

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: Don't touch my hair. -_-

**(Mobile) Madara Galante**: Eduard and I are watching All The President's Men.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Nothing like good ol' American politics!

**(Mobile) Im Yong-Soo**: Mei and I are watching Kung-Fu Panda. =3

**Mei Wang**: I'm pretty sure Yao's seen the movie about 50 times already.

**Yao Wang**: Hey! It's only been... 11.

[**Kiku Honda **_likes this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: All right - everyone, press those play buttons!

[**Amelia F. Jones** and **33 **_others like this_]

* * *

**Ivan Braginski**: Is questioning Yao's taste in music...

**Kiku Honda**: ?

**Ivan Braginski**: His ringtone.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Is it in Chinese?

**Ivan Braginski**: No, it's English.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Well, THAT narrows it down!

[**Antonio Carriedo **_likes this_]

**Ivan Braginski**: You really want to know what it is?

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: No, we're just asking for no bloody reason. -_-

**Ivan Braginski**: It's Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman.

[**Matilda Williams **_and _**19** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: Best bloody song EVER. 8D

**Antonio Carriedo**: Are you serious? XD

**Ivan Braginski**: Now, would I lie to you, Antonio~?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh, I know that song~!

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Now you have him singing to it...

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: What are you DOING Lovino? VIDEO TAPE THAT!

[**Antonio Carriedo** _and _**14** _others like this_]

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo**: How's Tron, Feli? Lovi?

**Feliciano Vargas**: We're on the highway~!

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Motorcycle, switch lanes, reckless!

[**Antonio Carriedo** _and _**9** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Swerve right, jump, don't miss your exit. :)

**Antonio Carriedo**: Switchbox? XD

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: Insert quarter...

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Gets rejected.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Wipe the dust off of a touchscreen...

**(Mobile) Feliks Łukasiewicz**: Oh shit, turn around - something's rising~!

**(Mobile) Matilda Williams**: Lens lights up, light grows to blinding...

**Amelia F. Jones**: CUT!

**(Mobile) Andersen Densen**: Megatron gateway floating downward!

**Lovino Vargas**: People look small...

**Matilda Williams**: Lightning!

**Feliciano Vargas**: FADE OUT~!

**Lule Adnan**: Fade to a hot chick on a bench, look left.

[**Hera Karpusi **_likes this_]

**(Mobile) Hera Karpusi**: Elevating bad guys... wide shot bad guys...

**Antonio Carriedo**: Step on the (dance) light floor!

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _and _**2 **_others likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: Throw.

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Deflect it. :)

**Lovino Vargas**: Bastard. XP

[**Feliciano Vargas **_likes this_]

**Hera Karpusi**: Blond chick... bounces... this is a weird movie...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Creepy guitar!

**Feliciano Vargas**: I want one!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Light-car peels out... now that is what I want.

**Ivan Braginski**: Walking, walking, walking, walking, cut~!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Jeff Bridges.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Jeff Bridges~!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: JEFF BRIDGES.

**Antonio Carriedo**: JEFF~BRIDGES~!

[**Adrian Kirkland** _and _**16** _others like this_]

**Lule Adnan**: ... I'm pretty sure P. Diddy has said the word "fuck" like 10 times in this one scene.

[**Kiku Honda **_and _**18** _others like this_]

**Ivan Braginski**: ? Oh, yeah, the movie's on~

**Yao Wang**: Well, that's what happens where you don't pay attention...

* * *

**(Mobile) Lule Adnan**: Yeah, I'd totally kiss her face.

[**Hera Karpusi** _and _**1** _other like this_]

**(Mobile) Hera Karpusi**: Who? The blonde...?

**Lule Adnan**: Who'd you think I was talking to? YOU?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, now THIS is better than any movie~

[**Kiku Honda **_likes this_]

* * *

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ... NOW I see why you picked this movie Gilbert. One of the opening scenes is in a nightclub.

[**Andersen Densen** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I didn't pick it.

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: I did!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Really.

**Antonio Carriedo**: I haven't seen the second one yet. ^^

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: ... What the hell?

**(Mobile) Xiang Wang**: Is it because a dragon just swooped in and ninja-stole that pig?

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Maybe it wanted bacon. XD

[**Matilda Williams** _and _**4** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: No. That's not it.

**Arthur Kirkland**: There's blood in a Disney movie.

[**Amelia F. Jones**_ and _**18** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: Have you not seen POTC?

**(Mobile) Feliks Łukasiewicz**: Hello, some guy snaps his TOE off!

**(Mobile) Xiang Wang**: ... Ick.

**Feliks Łukasiewicz**: Like, IKR?

**Xiang Wang**: Totally.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Let me rephrase that: There's blood in an ANIMATED Disney movie.

**Antonio Carriedo**: There you go!

* * *

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: It's like The Birds all over again!

[**Arthur Kirkland** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Tino Väinämöinen**: What... 33 people just dropped dead!

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: You're not going to die.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: I know, but still! That's creepy! And all because they had pacemakers?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Apparently.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: ... Poor people. :(

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: It's cute, how you care so much.

[**Brynja Stilesson** _and _**11 **_others like this_]

**Peter Kirkland**: Are you two going to get married already or what?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Yes. And we're adopting you as our son.

[**Peter Kirkland** _and _**4** _others like this_]

**Tino Väinämöinen**: W-Wait a second...

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: Adopt him ASAP.

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: DO IT.

**Peter Kirkland**: YES. Anything to get me away from these jerks. ANYTHING.

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Is wiping the dust off of an old touchscreen...

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Don't go into the light.

**Lovino Vargas**: Che. Like you'd care if I disappeared or something.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I kind of would. Plus, you didn't take me with you.

[**Feliciano Vargas **_and _**6** _others like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: ... ... That's nice... I guess...

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas**: Emergency meeting~!

**Brynja Stilesson**: What's up?

**Feliciano Vargas**: I found our first target~

**(Mobile) Elizabeta Hedevary**: WHO? =D

**Feliciano Vargas**: Lovi~! We're going to see if anything is going on between him and Arthur!

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: ADRIAN APPROVES. XD

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I doubt it... Feliciano, there's no way.

**Feliciano Vargas**: But there IS, Jean~!

**(Mobile) Feliks Łukasiewicz**: Like, what makes you think something's going on?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Lovi's blushing like a tomato. ^^

**(Mobile) Lule Adnan**: That's enough proof for me.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Lovino blushes at a lot of things, mon amie, I do not think that's enough grounds to go by...

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: Oh, of course it is, Jean!

**Kiku Honda**: So... we are now working on Operation: Unite the Tsunderes?

**Feliks Łukasiewicz**: Tsunderes Unite!

**Kiku Honda**: =3

**Feliciano Vargas**: 8D

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: -_-

* * *

**special agent akane**: ... Two more chapters until The Russian Locket (a.k.a. Ivan's arc). Ivan's arc will also introduce a new character, though I'm not sure I'll use him again after this arc. I'll have to see.

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]

[**Arthur Kirkland** _has logged on_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Bollocks, I didn't catch her! So, thanks for the help a lot. Turns out she was at **Gilbert**'s house... only problem is, someone must have tipped her off... because by the time I got there, she wasn't there. Apparently, she must be leading me on a wild goose chase until chapter 20... because I have another clue. This one says I'll find her if I remember **that night** **on the marge of lake Lebarge**. Sounds like poetry to me...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Ah, well... I guess she really doesn't want me to curse Adrian into oblivion... because that's the reason she filched it from me. That's all I have for you, though. Cheerio, loves.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _has logged off_]


	19. laid

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

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**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

Ah, Peter Kirkland. How we love thee. ^^

**EDITED ON AUGUST 21st, 2012**

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**Alice Barden. **Close, but no cigar. Although... hmm. You're not totally wrong, since they live in the same house and all, but... oh well, that's better luck for me. Means you can't find me. ;) _Feliks Łukasiewicz : Oh, I know, right? Like, I cannot wait to help them out. Their love connection is SO obvious. Go Cupid's Helpers! 8D _**SuperA n Twch.** Gosh darn it, stop guessing it correctly! I'm trying to HIDE from Arthur, not be found by him! Oh my God, yes you should. In fact, I might start rewatching a few just for kicks. Because I'm waiting for part 16.2 to come out soon. ^^ Oh really? Well, I know what character to keep around just in case that ever happens. XD LOL, that's where I got that from. Only 2? I've seen them all - except maybe Cloverfield, because I only watched a portion of that, and same with Black Swan. Cloverfield terrified me. Me too. Believe it or not, I've never seen Tron, I just have the soundtrack. :) It's towards the beginning when Tarin is trying to recover his pig, his mouth starts bleeding. It wigged me out a bit when I was younger, for sure. _Peter Kirkland: Really, now? You wish to adopt me? ^^ Hah! And Arthur said no one loves me. IN HIS FACE. But, yeah, I'd accept your offer, ma'am, but um... Berwald is a tad possessive. You might have to run the idea through him first. _Thanks. I decided the name needed to go in there somewhere. Cheerio to you, love! XD **iflip4dolphins. **First things first: Your username is amazing. I, being an torrid dolphin lover, appreciate it immensely. :) Hm. I'm very glad I can make your day, it, in turn, makes MY day. I'm a PruCan fan as well, if it isn't obvious. Only thing is, my love for crack pairings usually interferes with my pairing shipping. (Like right now, my favorite Gilbert pairing is Gilbert x Jeanette - a.k.a. Prussia and France, and my favorite Matilda pairing is Yao x Matilda - a.k.a. China and Canada.) Oh, definitely! There's no way I'm not going to follow through with PruCan, but there's a possibility of it taking a while due to the fact that I highly enjoy throwing wrenches in my plotlines. Way too much for my own good. XD Ah, well, keeps me entertained. Hmm. ^^ Well, SuFin is so ridiculously adorable, I couldn't help but add it. And although, I could sit and experiment with the Nordics forever if I wanted to, I'm pretty sure that 8 times out of 10, I'd pick SuFin. I just love it too much. Maybe because, Tino brings out this side of Berwald that most people didn't know he was capable of. And it's sweet. Once Arthur and Lovino actually start planning in the Tsunderes Unite! arc, most of what happens between them after that is staged. Only they know it's staged, however, at the moment. Something like this HAS to leak to SOMEONE. ;) Oh God, Arthur's cooking. I almost forgot about it. I mentioned it in chapter... 2? 3? somewhere early on? but besides that... oh, Arthur has GOT to cook something sooner or later. Thank you. :) I was worried that, for a moment, I wouldn't be able to get Ivan right, especially over Facebook, but I'm glad that, according to you, I did so. Well, how can I make him evil, when he's not even like that in the canon series? I hate when people make him into a calculating monster - because, once they do, he becomes that permanently, and although Ivan has those moments, he's not completely like that. I want the scarf too. Actually, a lot of the times I picture Ivan, I don't see the scarf. My mind must be telling me something by that, but I can't figure it out right now. It'll come to me eventually. _Arthur Kirkland: I wish myself luck for that too, it's a headache. And whatever for, dolphins? Due to recent events, I'm rather reluctant to just give it to you... plus, I don't HAVE it, but - I may sleep on it. I just need to retrieve the book first, damn Akane. _In the Japanese fandom, the Nyotalia name they use for Fem!America is actually Emily. I (no offense if your name is Emily) found the name to be rather mundane, so I learned that for the American/English fandom, the most popular names were Abigail, Avery, and Amelia, and Amelia won in a heartbeat. With Fem!France, her names are usually Fracoise or Francine, and I found those to be both way too similar to Francis. So, I found out that a name considered for France was Jean Espin, and from the Jean I simply added a "-ette". Hah. You know what they say, a family that kidnaps together, stays together. ;) Oh God, imagine an actual family working like that. Chaos all around. Oh wow, I have? That's awesome. I'll definitely look for that when you write it, I can't wait. ^^ **FranceGirl. **_Arthur Kirkland: Really? :) That's wonderful! I - I - I mean, well. Alright then. And no, I don't find myself to be "cute" when I'm annoyed! Plus, I don't trust Akane with my spellbook. At all. Surely... there isn't any chance you can't sway her into giving back to me, preferably before she does something stupid. _Oh please, Arthur, I'm not doing anything stupid (yet). Oh God, I can imagine Kiku watching that. He'd be one half horrified, one half amused. And Lule would be ALL amused merely by watching HIM. **Yukai yuki.** ... Yeah, that's right. (Darn it, stop guessing this right, people!) It's the Cremation of Sam McGee. Well, the author lived in Canada, so yeah, it's Mattie's house. ^^ HA. Actually, Adrian loves Lucky Charms to death. In fact, when Aeden, his older brother, decided to mess with him and hide his Lucky Charms one morning, Adrian went into a fit and, to get revenge, smashed a liquor bottle over Aeden's head. XD Now THAT'S cracky stuff. Oh I know. Since in my school Hetalia group, I'm Spain, I love writing as him. ;) Antonio's just pure amazing. Really? What island do you live on? I live in Florida, so, yeah. He used to own my whole state. :) Yeah, they were. Go to YouTube and look up "Tron Legacy Literal Trailer". You will find out where that whole section comes from. HAHA. We have an Austria in my school group too, even more ironic because she gets lost in her own house. _Gilbert Beilschmidt: Naw, I didn't force her into anything. You know I'm not like that. :) No, I warned her that Akane was coming though. I figured I should, plus, I got Matilda's house number in the process. Win-win, ja? =D_ POTC: Pirates of the Carribean. :) If there's another movie night, someone will definitely watch one of the Pirates movies. **natcat5.** I know. This pairing is RARE on fanfiction though, so I may write a few things for it. Hopefully, I inspire a far larger fanbase for this pairing. Oh, totally, that's why I'm doing it. Although, to be technical about it, it's not exactly a pairing at the moment, mostly because once the arc kicks in, most of what happens is staged. I'm telling you guys that, because, well, it's true. Plus, you'll learn that it's staged far before anyone else anyway. If they actually got together? Holy - the possibilities. XD I want to do that now, so badly. ... Gee. _Lovino Vargas: Oh, yeah, because me and Arthur are going to start a new OTP, whatever the hell THAT means. Che. I kinda doubt it. I mean, there are two reasons we're doing this and it's not for each other... (yet)._ Oh no problem. Glad I could clarify that for you. :) **phomma-chan.**Hn~ glad you liked it. Yeah, they do, so technically, it counted. But yeah, I'm in Mattie's house. Of course, she doesn't mind, right, Mattie? :) _Matilda Williams: Right... just as long as you don't use that spellbook. I - well, I leafed through it a bit and some of the spells in there are... no, you really shouldn't use them. _**MarothePanda.** Thy wish is my command. =3 I would have posted it Thursday, but I had a trip that weekend. Plus, these reviews replies take a while, believe it or not. :) _Gilbert Beilschmidt: I figured you'd know, I'm just proving it for everyone ELSE to know. Such awesomeness must be shared. Tch. Adorable? More like drop-dead sexy as hell. But yeah, I'll take adorable. Plus, have you seen Feli and Birdie? Adorableness is frickin' sweet. :) _**Panda3035.** _Matilda Williams: Actually, Ivan did. He used his nickname for me, which is Matanya, instead of my actual name, but I'm watching Black Swan with him and Yao. And we had a lot of fun with it, although the movie was rather creepy... eh, it's nightmare inducing. _**Shinyfox.** _Arthur Kirkland: Really. Why didn't - fine, fine, I'll do that after I respond to a few other people. And no, don't say that, you'll encourage her to hide again! Blast it, I don't WANT that! _Nice flag. XD What color is it? White? ^^ I was watching the literal trailer before I wrote the chapter, so I just HAD to make someone watch Tron. I actually haven't seen the movie yet myself, but I have the soundtrack, so I almost see no point in watching the movie. XD I've got the best part already! As you can see, I'm an avid SuFin supporter. So, my second official pairing in this series just HAD to be them. (First is Jean and Antonio). Oh, most definitely send them warning notes. They're going to need it, especially since Adrian AND Feliciano are BOTH in Cupido Aiutanti. Yeah, they're screwed. XD **andthenshesaid. **Yeah, it is. I love that poem to death. ... OH, the pun. XD It's called the Tron Literal Trailer, and it's on YouTube. You should check it out (when you're not reading this, writing, going to school and watching HetaQuest. ^^) _Adrian Kirkland: Hmm, love? Oh, you mean the American lass, don't ya? THAT'S an interesting thought, knowing that lil' old Arthur'll blow a gasket or two if that happens. Although, he's a bit caught up with that Italian at the moment. Hmm. Definitely a love story that I, as a member of Cupido Aiutanti, am going to have to follow up on. Care to follow it with me, dear? Oh, and if it makes ya feel better? I will TOTALLY hit on Amelia more for you. XD Just for you. _If it isn't obvious, so do I. Mmhm. Lule Adnan is Fem!Turkey. Out of all the genderbent characters I've done so far, thinking up Lule and her personality and her appearance has been probably the most fun. And, instead of the mask, Lule has white-rimmed sunglasses. :) **Little Patch of Heaven. **Yup. Might as well just admit it at this point, Arthur's gonna catch me soon... but - I COULD just string him along for a little bit further. I know. Right now, I'm calling the pairing _Tea&Tomatos_ or _Tsunderes Unite!_ but um... no clue. Besides like, the United Republic of Southern Italy and Great Britain. When in doubt, make your own country. ^^ Oh, Jean's SO interfering with it. Because she now realizes it's not JUST between her and Amelia anymore (both girls know that the other likes Arthur, but eventually they got so sick of fighting over him that they set him up with Matilda XD) so she's actually going to have to try because, basically, she's been thinking that he'll just fall for her like most of the others do. Not gonna happen, Jean. _Amelia F. Jones: Oh yeah! I remember, but this movie actually SHOWS blood in it. And that totally rocked me when I was younger. But, no, you want a gory movie? Go watch Resident Evil. Or Cloverfield. Or Saw. _Oh yeah. I am just FEELING the love. And in this chapter, it gets better. All of the Kirklands come in for the love-fest! Yay, siblings! **Darka Moon.** _Im Yong-Soo: You know, it's a proven fact that reading fanfiction while sick may lead to: spasms, uncontrollable screaming, swooning, flailing and violent mood swings. [/whips glasses off] And yes, all of these stats came STRAIGHT from Korea, thanks for asking! XD _Oh, I know. Best place to look for male!Belarus pictures is zerochan. That's where I found the one I use for a visual of him. Nikita's just awesome like that. ;) And no worries, after Feliks, thy wish for Ivan's arc shall be granted. **GrassBlade-chan. **Interesting username. ;) And no, I like plot too much. I mean, stand-alone chapters are fun to write sometimes, but no. Me being a novelist, I can't write something that DOESN'T have a plot. _Feliciano Vargas: SO glad you reviewed then~ I'm glad you like it, even if what we do here is a little crazy. ^^ Veh~ that's just a day in our lives for you~! _**rae1112.** Your review just cracked me up. Oh God, that's hilarious. You must not like Jeanette for interfering, do you? XD Oh, agreed. That's why I did it. Uncomplicated? No, no, no, dearie. Feliciano's NOT uncomplicated. I showed a bit of that in chapter 13. Shoot. Now I want to prove you so wrong... hang on, let me stew over this plot bunny and take all of the books off one of Arthur's shelf while you talk to Jeanette. _Jeanette Bonnefoy: Why me? Why not... [/sighs] Ah, bonjour. ^^ You are actually rooting for them. So are about 20 other people, and I am not talking about my friends either. I mean all of YOU, which is even more unfair to think about. Norrington? Are we talking about the same POTC? POTC stands for Pirates of the Caribbean, and I don't recall a Norrington. Hn. Well. Since I don't think Akane's coming back anytime soon, enjoy this latest chapter, mon amie. Enjoy it immensely~!_

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**session nineteen** :: laid [new medicine]

- august 15th

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**Arthur Kirkland**: Who the HELL beat up my little brother?

[**Adrian Kirkland **_likes this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: What the 'ell you goin' off for?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Take your Cockney contraptions somewhere else, Adrian. Not in the mood.

[**Renate Edelstein **_and _**1** _other like this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: Haters be hating.

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _and _**3** _others like this_]

**Matilda Williams**: What happened, Arthur?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Peter stumbled into the house all tousled up and practically passed out in my arms, then insisted he ran into a bloody WALL and won't tell me a damn thing.

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh no! You sound worried.

**Antonio Carriedo**: How are you texting still?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Me and my amazing left hand, Antonio~ its power is not to be underestimated.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Este es verdad, mi quierda... :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: For the love of the Queen, STOP. TROLLING. YOUR. ROMANCE. I don't WANT to see my lunch again.

[**Lovino Vargas** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmidt**: You say someone beat up your brother, Arthur?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Yes.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I want to thank them.

[**Adrian Kirkland** _and _**10** _others like this_]

**Amelia F. Jones**: LMFAO! XD

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh~ so cold, Arthur...

**Lovino Vargas**: You damned bastard. You almost made me break a rib from laughing my ass off so hard.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Sigh. You're not the SLIGHTEST bit concerned?

**Matilda Williams**: I kinda doubt it.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Not in the slightest.

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**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: Arthur can go crawl into a pit and DIE, bloody jerk of jerks. DX

[**Aeden Kirkland** _and _**5** _others like this_]

**Maiken Bondevik**: You don't like your brother?

**Peter Kirkland**: Obviously not!

**Tino ****Väinämöinen** : But don't you think that's a little extreme?

**Peter Kirkland**: Adrian's worse. The things he wants to do to Arthur give me nightmares.

[**Elizabeta Hedevary **_likes this_]

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: Oh really? 8D

**(Mobile) Lule Adnan**: Tch. Such a fangirl.

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: Hm. Because you're better, Miss Sadist.

**Lule Adnan**: You say "sadist" like its a bad thing.

[**Ivan Braginski **_and _**2** _others like this_]

**Hera Karpusi**: With you... it is.

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**(Mobile) Xiang Wang **||** Yao Wang**: Will you just quit it with the interrogation ? Like, good grief.

**Yao Wang**: Will you just tell me what happened to your hand then!

**Xiang Wang**: No.

**Yao Wang**: Why must you be so difficult? You are INJURED. Let me SEE it.

**Xiang Wang**: No!

**Yao Wang**: Xiang!

**Xiang Wang**: Don't you dare come near me. I can fix it MYSELF, mkay?

**Yao Wang**: No, not "mkay". And is that even a word?

**Xiang Wang**: Peter said that too...

**Yao Wang**: What does Peter have to do with this?

**Xiang Wang**: Because, that's why my hand's busted up.

**Yao Wang**: Xiang! What did I tell you about that?

**Xiang Wang**: Puh-lease. He started it. I just, like, finished it.

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**Yao Wang**: [/headdesk]

[**Mei Wang** _likes this_]

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**(Mobile/Mobile) Arthur Kirkland** || **Yao Wang**: So WHAT happened exactly?

**Yao Wang**: Apparently Xiang and Peter were having some sort of verbal argument or something... and it got a tad physical.

**Arthur Kirkland**: A TAD?

**Yao Wang**: Hm. That WAS an understatement, wasn't it?

**Arthur Kirkland**: What did they fight over, nothing?

**Yao Wang**: Well. I wouldn't call that a FIGHT, really.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh? And why is that?

**Yao Wang**: Last I checked, a FIGHT meant two people have to battle each other... not one person kicks the other's ass relentlessly.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ...

**Yao Wang**: Ai... I suppose weakness runs in the family. :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: What the -

**Arthur Kirkland**: Is that a challenge?

**Yao Wang**: It is now.

**Arthur Kirkland**: That's it. I'm coming over. And bring. it. on.

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**Adrian Kirkland**: Arthur's all - "I'm going to go kick Yao's ass." And I'm all - "No you can't. You're gonna be slaughtered." And Arthur's like - "Oh, really?" And you know what that bastard does?

**Amelia F. Jones**: What?

**Adrian Kirkland**: He socked me straight in the eye, lil' wanker!

[**Peter Kirkland** _and _**3** _others like this_]

**Alannah Kirkland**: Arthur finally did something right. I'll allow it.

[**Matilda Williams **_likes this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: Veh, what for? That was so random~

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Agreed.

* * *

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: Arthur vs. Yao - who shall win?

**Ivan Braginski**: Yao-Yao~!

**(Movile) Lovino Vargas**: Arthur.

[**Feliciano Vargas **_likes this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: I vote for Arthur too~!

**Kiku Honda**: ... Hmm...

**(Mobile) Lule Adnan**: Yao, definitely.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Arthur, for sure.

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Hn~ that's actually difficult...

**Aeden Kirkland**: Whoever this Yao is, I'm voting for him.

**Alannah Kirkland**: Agreed.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesesese~ Arthur's got this one...

**Antonio Carriedo**: I don't know... Yao's kinda strong, despite his looks.

**Ivan Braginski**: ^^ True, true.

**(Mobile) Kiku Honda**: I am voting for Arthur-san.

**Matilda Williams**: Hmm. I think Yao might win this, actually... depends on how much Arthur manages to tick him off...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Arthur, most likely.

**Renate Edelstein**: Arthur, I'm sure.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Who the FUCK cares?

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt** _and _**11** _others like this_]

**Peter Kirkland**: GO YAO!

**Adrian Kirkland**: TEAM YAO~!

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: I have such a loving family...

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**Antonio Carriedo**: Wait a second! This is an ACTUAL fight!

**Ivan Braginski**: Silly, Toni, what did you expect?

**Antonio Carriedo**: I expected a wizard-brawl, or a Just Dance competition, but not an ACTUAL fight. HOLY SNAP.

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: So cute~

**Antonio Carriedo**: Aww, you too~

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: ...

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: DIDN'T HE JUST SAY SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE NO ONE FUCKING CARES!

**Arthur Kirkland**: I knew I kept you around for a reason. :)

**Lovino Vargas**: Hm. Damn straight.

* * *

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland **|| **Madara Galante**: I'm not watching this fight, are you?

**Madara Galante**: No... it seems really pointless to me.

**Peter Kirkland**: True. Hey! Let's go see a movie together or something~!

**Madara Galante**: Um... really?

**Peter Kirkland**: Psh, no I was kidding!

**Peter Kirkland**: YES REALLY!

**Madara Galante**: B-But don't you still need to recover from whatever happened to you earlier?

**Peter Kirkland**: Recovery is for lamers. I don't need it, I'm Peter Kirkland, freshman extraordinaire!

**Madara Galante**: Okay... but, can I bring Laima?

**Peter Kirkland**: Sure. I'll ask Tino! The more, the merrier~

* * *

**(Mobile) Madara Galante**: Well... that was short...

**Ivan Braginski**: What was short, hm? Besides yourself. ^^

**Madara Galante**: I-I was going to the movies with Peter... a-and...

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Sigh. What happened...

**Adrian Kirkland**: Lemme guess - he got run over by a steamroller. 8D

**Arthur Kirkland**: What the - WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM?

**Madara Galante**: ... S-S-S-S-Ste-Steamr-rollers?

**(Mobile) Laima Lauriniatis**: Ow. :( Madara, you made me hit my head!

**Ivan Braginski**: Hmm~?

**Laima Laurinatis**: She ducked under the table when Adrian said steamroller... y-you know, you really scared her with that!

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, but I was kidding, Dara~ don't be upset...! :]

**Adrian Kirkland**: I wasn't. Although I'd be much happier if said thing happened to Arthur. XD

[**Alannah Kirkland **_and _**11** _others likes this_]

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: And you wonder why I hate you.

**Adrian Kirkland**: Aww, I love you too, brother~

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: No, but really. Did something happen to Peter?

**Laima Lauriniatis**: A counter happened.

**(Mobile) Tino Väinämöinen**: ^^;;

[**Berwald Oxenstierna **_likes this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: A counter... now how, exactly, does that work?

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Yeah... he wasn't paying attention while we were in the movie theater and he didn't see the movie counter... and some how, he hit the counter and flipped over it and onto the floor.

[**Brynja Stilesson **_and _**12** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: [/holds up a sign saying 8]

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: [/holds up a sign saying 9.5]

**Antonio Carriedo**: [/holds up a sign saying 8.5]

**Tino Väinämöinen**: ^^ Cute.

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Berwald Oxenstierna**: Very.

**Adrian Kirkland**: Are you talkin' about the whole sign thing or Tino?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Tino.

[**Brynja Stilesson** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**Tino Väinämöinen**: O/O

**Arthur Kirkland**: Is Peter alright?

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Yeah, he should be... he came around a few minutes ago.

**Adrian Kirkland**: Ohmygod, he knocked himself OUT?

[**Amelia F. Jones **_and _**2** _others like this_]

**Tino Väinämöinen**: [/nod]

**Adrian Kirkland**: [/holds up a sign saying 10] Bloody frickin' brilliant! XD

[**Aeden Kirkland **_likes this_]

**(Mobile) Yao Wang**: That's funny, considering Arthur only came around a few minutes ago himself.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Same with you!

**Xiang Wang**: Oh yeah. So, like, who won?

**Antonio Carriedo**: It was a draw. They knocked each other out at the same time. :)

[**Matilda Williams** _and _**16** _others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: Veh~ that takes skill~!

**Lovino Vargas**: Agreed. It takes skill to be that UNSKILLED.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I hate you.

**Lovino Vargas**: Hate you too. XP

**Peter Kirkland**: Told you no one likes you, jerk.

[**Alannah Kirkland** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Scratch that, Lovi. I hate my LIFE.

* * *

World, meet the entirety of the Kirkland family: Aeden (Wales), Alannah (Ireland), Adrian (Scotland), Arthur (England), and Peter (Sealand). World, watch me exit. Again. ^^ See you next chapter!

[**dalca** _has logged off_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: GOD, I hate my life! Finally, as I managed to catch up to Dalca, at **Matilda**'s house of all places (thanks for the tips, loves ;] Appreciate it.), Not only THAT, but her next clue is telling me to look upon **the isle where the siren sings**. Now, I know WHAT a siren is, of course, but... where the hell did they originate from? And guess what else? I can't go look that up because - haha - my entire collection of Mythology books are gone. So, this is where you all come in again. I'm so sorry about this, I PROMISE I'll treat you to something amazing after this is all over, but I do need that spellbook. It's not just me wanting to curse Adrian, it's that is Dalca tries any of those spells and MISPRONOUNCES them, for God's sake, I don't want to know the consequences. And plus, some of those spells have side-effects to using them... and even if she's annoying, I'm not about to be responsible for killing her. So... can you help me, this time now?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh and for so far, Thank you, so, so, much. You have no idea how helpful you all are.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _has logged off_]


	20. touching on my

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

Out of the three crossdressers Feli Vargas, Mara A. Jones, and Feliks Lukasiewicz, Feliks is the most epic.

* * *

**natcat5.** I'm glad to make you happy. ^^ Yeah, I did. Although when I first leaned that he had the same voice pattern as Feliks I was thrown, but it fits him because it's so contradictory. Oh, I know. Oh, wow. That's actually a VERY good idea. Gosh darn it, I now want to write that so badly. _Aisling Kirkland: ... It's not me, it's THEM. I swear. I've got nothing to do with their bullshit. Seriously. And Arthur, though a dunderhead, can take care of himself __- he's not stupid enough to get himself hurt like that. _Um... yeah. Aisling and Aeden and Adrian are not exactly the "loving family" type. But now I want to make them have a family moment so bad, OMG. You've inspired me. XD **andthenshesaid.** Oh, LOL. ^^ I know. He shows more care for his psuedo-boyfriend than he does his family. So do I. XD I tried to look on zerochan and stuff for a picture that looks like her, but I haven't found one yet. There's a major lack of Fem!Turkey pictures. Well, thanks. I appreciate that. And y'know what, there's probably going to be a Kirkland arc. I've been inspired. Aisling's a girl - it's a popular Irish female name. _Arthur Kirkland: Tsundereness? What? Kiku's called me that too, is this some kind of codename or insult or SOMETHING? It's so bloody confusing... _**Lydiacatfish.** _Arthur Kirkland: W-Well, I'm on Facebook because I'm talking to Lov - Aeden. I need to talk to Aeden. Yes. [/looks away] U-um, regardless. I know what sirens are (I compare Jeanette to them almost every day), but where they're from slipped my mind. Thank you for reminding me however. ^^ _... Drat. I need a new hiding place. LOL, 9.3. I'd give him a solid 9, mostly because of the circumstances that led up to said epic fail. Yeah, he does, but that doesn't mean Arthur's a novice at melee combat either. Mostly, Arthur blocked all of Yao's attacks and tried to make him over-exhaust himself. That obviously is not the case. Yeah, exactly. Besides, at least in a normal duel it's somewhat fair. In a wizard duel Yao wouldn't stand a chance. **Grassblade-Chan. **_Yao Wang: Nice job? It didn't solve anything, aru, and - h-hey! Yao-Yao? Y-You know I dislike that nickname, aru! Aiyah... I can't catch one single break, can I? _Oh, yes he is. And I strongly don't recommend glomping him, or Ludwig will intervene. Yeah, I think they used to, but it's kind of annoying if you post something like "I'm having a baby!" or "I'm getting married!" and someone spams the Dislike button. **Yukai yami. **That is exactly why... kinda creepy how you got that right. But, yeah, I explain the reason he ran into the counter in this chapter anyway. So cool. ^_^ Yeah. Adrian loves his Lucky Charms. Mess with them and bad things happen to you. Aeden knows this very well. Seriously? That's so cool! _Amelia F. Jones: Puerto Rico is SO my property. Admit it! And believe it or not, there's something you can check to see where your readers are from, and I have readers from Russia, Switzerland, Canada, Germany, Spain (YES), and other locations that makes me squeal on sight due to this fandom. _Really? Go watch it, it's hilarious. XD Hmm, they're in that region, good job. As long as you can't pin it down, I'm good. =D Oh snap, I forgot about Flying Mint Bunny. Plus, I can't see him, but Arthur can, so... shoot! He could spying on me RIGHT. NOW. **DarkaMoon.** Ah, the DSi. How we love thee so. _Im Yong-Soo: You know it, da-ze! Of COURSE pretty women originated in Korea, it's a lie for anyone to say otherwise! That's right Gilbert, I'm looking at you!_ You have no idea how much I love crack pairings. Recently, I've been obsessed with CRC, which is a Matilda x Ivan x Yao complete love triangle. Why do I say complete? Well, because NORMAL love triangles are only three people in two relationships. And normality is SO overrated. NorCan? ... [/sighs] I really love you all, but my readers are giving me WAY too many ideas. Like, seriously. I want to write THAT now. I need a fanfiction for all of these random moments. Falling up stairs. I have mastered that amazing ability. Take THAT, Arthur. Really? ^^ My best friend is our Russia. Hilarious, since I'm like her complete opposite in both Hetalia and in real life. :) No, you're not rambling. I don't mind. **FranceGirl. **_Arthur Kirkland: [/sigh] I'm not enjoying this... wait. You think that? Jean... [/blushes] W-Whatever, just HELP me so I can retrieve my book from her clutches. ... Greece. Hera. Someone's said that before, so it must have some merit... I'm going to have to look into this more, thank you, Jeanette. [/kisses her cheek] _That's pretty much what happened. Yao was trying to block one of Arthur's attacks while trying to attack him at the same time. However, he let down his defenses in order to do this, so Arthur punched him right under his jaw and pretty much knocked him out. But Yao was in the middle of roundhouse kicking him, so when Arthur knocked him out, his foot went limp, and it slammed into the back of Arthur's neck and brought him down. So, they hit the ground at the same time, although if you want to want to get technical about it, Arthur won. XD Arthur will always, in a way, be jealous of Antonio, because he feels that even if he marries her, he'll never be as close to Jeanette as Antonio and Gilbert are to her. Angsty, I know, but that's Arthur for you, love. **Meso the Hanyu. **Haha, it's alright. I know you what you mean by that. _Ivan Braginski: I know you're not me, silly~ there can only be one Ivan Braginski, da? ^^ Besides, I wouldn't be very special if there was more than one of me, now would I? _**iflip4dolphins.** Eh, I didn't mind it at all. I like long reviews. I mean, I'd easily take a few long reviews or a lot of short ones. I don't know many authors who wouldn't. _Arthur Kirkland: It's not INEDIBLE. Aisling actually tried one of my scones before and she enjoyed it! ... ... Alright, so she was sick afterward... for three or four days, but... STILL. It's not inedible! Alright, alright, what do you wish to look at? Love spells? [/rolls eyes] Well, if so, I'd like to see you try and cast one, oh, yeah, like I'M going to go ask them and get a rum bottle smashed into my head. Please. _Hn. I'm happy to hear that. ^_^ Well, it's true. There is no skill involved in tying a fist fight. Yeah. You can't win against anything immobile and in your way while being distracted. Um, I believe that a word called "awesome" is actually Prussia. (Not my words, someone convinced to say this. Wonder who...) Yeah, he does. ^^ I just haven't use him yet. And don't worry, just for you, there's PruCan. Actually... there's also some UKCan but that's because I will eternally be addicted to said pairing. And SuFin of course. XD Adorableness comes standard with this pairing. Oh, of course I'll look for it. :) Hmm. Me, I started with just them having random fun and introducing most of the main characters in the process. You could start by introducing something serious - or semi-serious occuring between a certain few characters and then use the others to explain what's happening, thus revealing their personalities and roles in the process. Try that. XD Sure, no problem, go ahead. =) **rae1112. **I know that only Lovi's sticking up for Arthur at the moment. I'm trying to emphasize their relationship. XD Plus, they haven't even CONSIDERED the jealousy plot yet, so what you see right now is real. The jealousy comes into play later. I'm trying to incorporate as many OTPs as possible, in fact, I put a message at the end saying that if you have any Ivan, Nikita or Chereneko (Russia, Belarus or Ukraine) pairings, to tell me because, well, I like interactive stories and crack pairings. So I'm doubly happy. I can't stand one-dimensional characters, actually. I like dwelling into the darker secretive sides of people, and even more so with really optimistic characters. Of course, I have to careful to make sure it's not out of character. _Matilda Williams: Oh! Norrington, I loved him! It's was horribly tragic to see him die, I was pretty much in tears for the rest of the movie... [/giggles] Oh, true. No, she doesn't. To be perfectly honest, I think he'd be better of with my sister... but I guess I don't have much room to talk, eh? Especially when it comes to love. _**iflip4dolphins. **_Arthur Kirkland: Hah! I knew it. Take that, Akane. I shall get my book back, and you can no longer stop me. Unless... you pull an Italian retreat on me again... then I'm royally screwed. _**The Dino that writes- Rawr. **Wow. All 19 in one go? Nice. ^^ Well, here's 20 for you. Hope you enjoy this one as well. _Adrian Kirkland: Thanks doll. ;) But I'm impossible not to love. Amelia is awesome (and really frickin' hot, but Arthur'll probably slit my throat or somethin'. Jealous much?), as is Gilbert, Jeanette and Antonio. The only person who doesn't fit in that category is Arthur, but you, darling, know why. _**Randomanime456. **_Arthur Kirkland: Modern sirens... that WOULD be just like Akane to send me all the way to Hera's house when she means a firehouse siren, and we live on an island too. So typical of her - let me first clear that notion, THEN I'm going to Hera's house. _Randomanime456, NICE JOB. XD You completely derailed him. [/highfives] **Jeanne S. **Alright. Oh, thank you! I'm only in Year 2 of Spanish, plus I'm learning Italian on the side so... heh. ^_^;; Thank you for the hint! **Alice Barden. **You know it. That's the only way to end a fight. _Xiang Wang: Hm. Thanks. He, like wanted to fight me first, just as a play-fight, y'know? But he wanted to go all, "Oh, no, I'mma totally kick your butt," so I'm like, "Please. Bring it ON!" And he tried, and he lost. Badly. Story time over. _**MattsyKunTehZebra.** Ooh! Do I win Google Chrome? If so, I hereby rename it Google Honda, now able to go at lightning speeds and has Photoshop and MovieMaker as apps, along with World of GameCraft! which is an app to help you make your own videogame! Although, Kiku knows to avoid this due to his experiences LAST TIME he made a videogame, right, Kiku? _Kiku Honda: Sigh. Do not remind me, please... _**GinFanGurl. **I can't say I forget the title of my fanfiction, mostly because I remember the song the title's from, so, I usually start singing it. Why, thank you. ^^ I appreciate the fact that you like my story that much. I try. XD Haha. Very jealous. No, it's not abnormal, I'm entertained as well. Jealousy is an easy emotion to write off of, so I love jealousy immensely. One of my favorite emotions. Except... I hate feeling it. _Aeden Kirkland: Tch. Hon, you know it. We are an epic-win family, aren't we?_ **SuperA n Twch. **No, no, no, stop giving him hints! Bad readers! Can't you all just get it WRONG for once! _Chantal Zwingli: Here, borrow mine. [/hands her the gun] While you're at it, go shoot Gilbert while you're at it. And maybe Elizabeta. Then she won't go after Ren - ... Nevermind. Just take the gun. _Haha. XD Is that an illusion to Arthur trying to lecture Peter by telling him to watch anime. If not, then I've been watching too many dubbed episodes. Adrian's going to get him back for that, subtly but surely. Trust me, that blow's not going without Arthur being unscathed. The steamroller thing came from chapter 15. Ivan told Madara he wanted to help with her height issue, so he offers to use a steamroller because according to cartoons such as Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry, running someone over with a steamroller doesn't hurt them, it makes them taller. Yes. That's how Ivan's mind works. Epic for everyone watching except them. I'm sure. ^^ Tea&Tomatoes for the win, baby, for the win. ;) **Little Patch of Heaven. **It's going to take her until the Tsunderes Unite! arc to figure that out. Also doesn't help that she's being distracted by Antonio (and Gilbert, but for now, it's Antonio doing the distracting.) Oh, I know. I found one actually, and I swear to God, I'm in love. Just go search Lovino and Arthur in the character boxes and bam! 12 fics, only 3 in English. You and I need to fix this. :D Um, I think knocking yourself out is pretty bad. Oh, God, the FACE family. For the purpose of this fanfiction, I have renamed them the bevy "The Blonde Quartet". Because there's FOUR of them, and they're all BLONDE. Ahahaha, I'm so damn clever, I can't stand it! _Aisling Kirkland: Your sarcasm sucks. Seriously, don't do sarcasm. You're not that blond Swiss chick, save it for her. _... Yes, it's Greece, but Arthur's been too distracted to go there yet, so, maybe I can do some spell-testing! XD **Aleksi Braginski-Jones. **_Arthur Kirkland: Seductive women that lure men to their deaths... hm. Sounds like I deal with that every day. Vocabulary sheet... I may have to borrow that unless Akane surrenders, finally. Ivan makes up nicknames for everyone, it's just... something he does. Especially around people who are close to him, like Yao. ... Although, Yao really SHOULDN'T be, I suppose I have no say in this. Figures. _**phomma-chan. **I'd say "perfect, that means I can hide for longer!" but, I'm pretty sure Arthur's already on his way here SO. I need a new hideout... like... Oh, I have an idea! =D Haha, Arthur's not gonna guess THIS one~! _Lovino Vargas: Che. Glad to hear that Arthur and I are the good thing about this chapter. Besides... h-he's pretty cool, y'know... for a tea-loving, bushy-eyebrowed bastard, that is! [/turns away] Whatever, whatever, enjoy the chapter, have fun. _

* * *

**session twenty** :: touching on my [_3OH!3_]

- august 16th

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**Feliks Lukasiewicz** || **Laima Lauriniatis**: LAIMA~!

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Oh... it's you.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Oh, you totally brought along the fanfare and the parade to like, celebrate, Negative Nancy!

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Is it that Ivan AGAIN? Because if it is, I'mma like, fuck his shit UP.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Don't say that!

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Oh, yeah, I'm totally terrified. What's HE gonna do? Nuh-UH-thing.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: But stop distracting me. That's not why I IM'd.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: So... why did you then?

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: There's a sale. A SALE. At Hollister. You have GOT to come with me!

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Of course. -_-

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas**: Okay~! So let's get this meeting started!

**Lule Adnan**: First order of business, Mr. Vargas?

[**Feliciano Vargas **_likes this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: -giggles- So formal~ First order of business is... oh~! Does anyone have any information or people to watch for? ^^

**Adrian Kirkland**: Well, obviously keep an eye on Lovino and Arthur...

**Lule Adnan**: Obviously.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ...

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: What about... Yao Wang? I see him with Antonio all the time...

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Yeah, but that's like, a friendship thing.

**Brynja Stilesson**: I say keep a close eye on Maiken and Andersen.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Maiken and Andersen, Bryn?

**Brynja Stilesson**: Mmhm. I think there's more than just hate going on there.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Okay! I will record that right... now!

**Feliciano Vargas**: Information recorded~!

**Lule Adnan**: Aren't you and Maiken still engaged though, Brynja? :)

**Brynja Stilesson**: Oh... right. We are. ^_^

[**Lule Adnan** _and _**1** _other like this_]

**Lule Adnan**: Nice memory Brynja Bondevik.

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: What about Ludwig? ;)

**Feliciano Vargas**: Veh~? What about him, Eliza?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, Feli, you have not NOTICED? XD

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh, but Jean...! This isn't about me~ this is about other people first! I want to help OTHER people with their love lives... at the moment, I could care less about mine. ^^

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _and_ **6** _others like this_]

**Kiku Honda**: That is very noble of you, Feliciano-kun.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: My God, where is the LOVE button on Facebook? I like, DEMAND a love button for this guy.

[**Kiku Honda** _and _**5** _others like this_]

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Ooh, Feli. What about Ivan?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Hn~ Feliks has a good point there...

**Brynja Stilesson**: Ivan's got a circle of people he randomly dates on-and-off, so...

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Okay, there's like, Laima... and Eduard... and Madara...

**Brynja Stilesson**: I think Peter likes her.

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: Who?

**Brynja Stilesson**: Madara. I mean... he DID crash into that movie counter WHILE talking to her...

**Adrian Kirkland**: Adrian approves of this investigation! XD

**Feliciano Vargas**: But Adri~ you and I are going to work on Tsunderes Unite! since we're related to them, it would make sense~

**Adrian Kirkland**: Really? ^^ Oh, I'm gonna have a bloody FIELD DAY. XD

**Feliciano Vargas**: And Kiku~? if we need a neutral person in the investigation as well, I'll call you in, okay? But besides that, you can do your own project, kay~?

**Kiku Honda**: That is fine with me, Feliciano-kun.

**Lule Adnan**: I'll focus on Ivan for a bit.

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: Oh! You forgot Yao and Matilda. In your little list of Ivan's circle.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Yeah, but it's not confirmed that he's dated any of them YET. Sometimes will totally happen though, because Ivan, like, CANNOT keep his hands off of people.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Wait! What about Gilbert and Matilda?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ooh~! How could we forget that!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I'll watch them for you, darling. ;)

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: YEAH BABY.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Okay! So, Adri and I are with Tsunderes Unite, right~ Which, is Arthur and Lovi, of course~!

**Adrian Kirkland**: Affirmative. XD

**Feliciano Vargas**: Lule is watching Ivan and his romantic circle, right?

**Elizabeta Hedevary**: Call me if you ever need any help?

**Lule Adnan**: Done, done and done, darling.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Jeanita... as Antonio calls you~

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Yes, mon cher? :)

**Feliciano Vargas**: Gilbert and Matilda, okay?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oui, oui! I shall not fail to disappoint you!

**Feliciano Vargas**: ^_^

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: I'll, like, watch Madara and Peter for ya, Adrian.

**Adrian Kirkland**: Love you. XD

**Brynja Stilesson**: And I've got Maiken and Andersen.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Lovely~! Cupido Aiutanti is officially up and ready~! :) I'm so happy...!

[**Kiku Honda** _and _**5** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz** || **Peter Kirkland**: Hi Peter~!

**Peter Kirkland**: ... And YOU are...?

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: The name's Feliks. I'm a friend of Madara's. Like, c'mon, you know Madara. Curly light blond hair, dark violet eyes, sweet little thing with really nice curves? You know who I'm talking about... ;)

**Peter Kirkland**: Oh yeah! Yeah, I know Madara. Galante's her surname, right?

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Mmhm. Say, Madara, Laima and I were gonna kick back and chillax at the mall, but Madara asked me if I could invite you too. Like, she would have TOTALLY done it herself if she could, but she kinda got all blushy and asked ME to do it.

**Peter Kirkland**: R-Really?

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Totally! It's like, frickin ADORABLE. But, seriously, get your little ass down here freshman, Madara requested it.

**Peter Kirkland**: Give me a couple minutes and I'll be there!

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Kay. :)

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz**: I AM BADASS MATCHMAKER - HERE ME ROAR.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: Meow? =3

[**Hera Karpusi **_and _**10 **_others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: MEIN GOTT - WTF? I HATE THIS TWILIGHT THORN!

**Matilda Williams**: Is someone getting their ass handed to them again by Square Enix? :)

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh, please.

**Amelia F. Jones**: If you can't get past the Twilight Thorn, then you need to put the controller down and walk away.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... I hate Kingdom Hearts.

**Matilda Williams**: I'm sure the Organization hates you too.

**Amelia F. Jones**: That's called BIAS you Roxas fangirl!

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _and _**3 **_others like this_]

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo**: If a group of thirteen people all get together and have a meeting, but they all take their shoes off, would it classify as being an Orgy meeting?

[**Kiku Honda** _and _**4** _others like this_]

**Yao Wang**: Kingdom Hearts again? Aiyah, if you all get Kiku any more obsessed, he's really going to get that Kingdom Crown tattoo he keeps talking about...

**Kiku Honda**: ... W-Wang! Did you have to say that?

**Matilda Williams**: You have a tattoo Kiku?

**Yao Wang**: Not yet. -_-

**Matilda Williams**: Hmm. That reminds me of something...

* * *

**Matilda Williams** || ** Arthur Kirkland**: How's your guitar, Arthur? ^^

**Arthur Kirkland**: My guitar...?

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Oh! THAT guitar. Matilda, you've been hanging out with Jeanette too much.

**Matilda Williams**: What? It was a perfectly innocent question.

**Matilda Williams**: At least I didn't ask to see it again. Or tell Amelia where it is...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Right, of - MATILDA. YOU DIDN'T.

**Matilda Williams**: Shh, Arthur, calm down. And no I didn't. :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh, thank Heavens. Otherwise I'd lose my virginity faster than you can say Guitar Hero.

**Matilda Williams**: Between you and me, I'm shocked you still have it.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'm shocked you still have yours.

**Matilda Williams**: ...?

**Arthur Kirkland**: What, the self-proclaimed King of Prussia hasn't taken his Queen yet?

**Matilda Williams**: A-Arthur! Sh-Shut up!

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I QUIT. I'm going to go play Sid Meyer's Pirates! and raid some Spanish ports.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: Oye! What do you have against Spain?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Spain has all the money in this game. And the hot women.

**Antonio Carriedo**: True, true. I have Jeanette, you don't. ;)

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Fuck that, I have Birdie. Right, Mattie?

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_and _**6** _others like this_]

**Matilda Williams**: I'm neutral in this conversation.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Goddamn it - you're not Chantal!

[**Renate Edelstein **_likes this_]

**Chantal Zwingli**: What about me?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Nothing, Chan-chan~!

**Matilda Williams**: :)

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz** || **Feliciano Vargas**: Are you watching everyone's posts on FB?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Actually, no... I'm trying to listen in on Lovino's phone conversation with Arthur~

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: OHEMGEE. Like, go Feli, go Feli!

**Feliciano Vargas**: :D

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz** || **Adrian Kirkland**: ADRIAN~~

**Adrian Kirkland**: WHAT~~

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Lovino and Arthur are on the phone right now. See if you can't, like, use your freaking badass ninja skillz and do some spying.

**Adrian Kirkland**: Oh HELL ya.

* * *

**Adrian Kirkland**: Do mine ears deceive me or is Arthur going on a date with Lovi?

[**Lovino Vargas** _and _**11** _other people like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: W-W... Wait. I didn't mean to like that.

**Lule Adnan**: It's kind of funny that you and Arthur are the first two people to like that comment...

**Arthur Kirkland**: I swear to God, I ought to call Aeden and make him steal your Lucky Charms again, Adri...

**Arthur Kirkland**: And don't throw rum bottles at my door, goddamnit!

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: I only threw ONE. And besides, it's that really shitty stuff that Aeden's obsessed with.

**Aeden Kirkland**: DIE WANKER. DX

**Adrian Kirkland**: Don't try it - I'm armed and dangerous.

**Lovino Vargas**: NO BASTARD IT'S NOT A DATE!

**Arthur Kirkland**: We're going two blocks from my house to get STARBUCKS. That is NOT a date.

**Aeden Kirkland**: Is that what they call it nowadays...?

[**Aisling Kirkland** _and _**8** _others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: ? Call what, Aeden?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Want me to explain it?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: NO.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _likes this_]

**Lule Adnan**: Insert advice, gets rejected. XD

[**Lovino Vargas** _and _**1** _other like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz** || **Ivan Braginski**: What are you doing?

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh! You're Laima's little friend~

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Yuh-huh. Now, like, do me a favor. STOP MESSING WITH HER.

**Ivan Braginski**: Scary, scary. Whatever shall you do to me? ;]

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Oh, you don't wanna know. If I tell you, there's no way you're gonna get any sleep tonight, hun.

**Ivan Braginski**: I'm not scared of you~

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: You will be once, I like, sic my pony army on you.

**Ivan Braginski**: Yes. I'm terrified.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: And guess who'll be leading that pony army?

**Ivan Braginski**: Who shall it be? ;)

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Nikita.

**Ivan Braginski**: ...

**Ivan Braginski**: Y-Y-Y-You wouldn't.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: I would. And I WILL. Now leave Laima alone!

**Ivan Braginski**: ... Don't you think those are slightly drastic measures?

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Not at all. XD

* * *

**Ivan Braginski**: Feliks is a SADIST. DX

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _and _**21** _others like this_]

**Eduard von Bock**: And irony is ironic.

* * *

**special agent akane**: Wow. I can't believe it. Chapter 20. And it's ALL thanks to you! Alright! Next arc is **Activate My Heart** which is Ivan's arc!

**Ivan Braginski**: Here I am, yay~!

**special agent akane**: ^^ Alright so like I said, next arc is a bit of a puzzle. There is a new character introduced (although you don't really meet them until the end), and it's not someone you shouldn't know. Just take a look at the character's list on Fanfiction. You'll find him eventually. ;) And, in celebration of this new arc, I have one last clue for Arthur so he can find his spellbook.

**Arthur Kirkland**: You left **Hera**'s house already?

**special agent akane**: Chyeah. Done checking the firehouse already? XD

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, someone suggested that you might be near ACTUAL sirens, and I KNOW how literal and/or abstract you like to get, so, YES, I checked!

**special agent akane**: :3 I love my readers. Really, I love you so much.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright. So what's the last clue? Or are you with Ivan since he's on FB right now?

**Ivan Braginski**: Is it Yao? I think it's most definitely Yao~!

**special agent akane**: No, it's not, Ivan, you just WANT it to be. :)

**special agent akane**: Well, Arthur, **in order to be a true love of mine, bring me parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.**

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: ...

**Ivan Braginski**: I don't get it. :(

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh God, I know this, I know this, I know this... why can't I remember it...?

**Ivan Braginski**: I cannot help you, comrade... I'm confused.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Okay, readers, ONE LAST TIME. I'm completely drawing a blank on this for some reason, even though I KNOW I know this - I just can't recall it at the moment. Jog my memory, please? And thank you, for everything, I love you all.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**1** _other has logged off_]

[**special agent akane **_has logged on_]

**special agent akane**: Oh, and BTW - if anyone has any **Ivan**, **Nikita**, or **Chereneko** pairings that you want to see, just tell me. I will gladly try to incorporate your requests! ;)

[**special agent akane **_has logged off_]


	21. decode

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

* * *

[**Alice Barden**] :: Yeah! Update! Oh, yeah, baby. Only thing is for this to really get into motion, we have to deal with Ivan first. ;) Can you handle the excitement? XD _Andersen Densen: Heh... I guess I'm kind of obvious huh? Oh well, Maiken's all into her relationship with Brynja... I mean, sometimes I think it's not real, but then again... they ARE kind of close... I really hope not. _Yeah, I maybe have made it kinda obvious where I was. I need more abstract clues, obviously. Ah well. Least I have this arc to perfect that.

[**Darka Moon**] :: _Nikita Arvolskaya: Me... and Gilbert... Gilbert's not my Ivan. [/turns away] But. I suppose. For you. I'll endure his presence. _

[**natcat5**] :: Haha, I love Kingdom Hearts too, if it isn't obvious. ;) Amelia's romance will show up in this arc, most definitely. Mostly because, the people I'm most interested in pairing Amelia with are Ivan, Adrian and Arthur (and MAYBE Nikita). So, yeah, RusAme galore in this arc. ^_^ Only thing is, I need to incorporate it. But, don't worry, it'll be soon. Well, yeah it is. But that's because, like I said, most romance is going on hold for this arc. So... hn. _Madara Galante: Cute? I'M cute? I - I - why, thank you. :) Taking charge of what? Is something going on that I'm not aware of? [/tilts head] _Oya, oya, someone's a Mukuro fangirl~ ^^ Wait. You watch Katekyo Hitman Reborn, right? If not, I need to introduce you to Mukuro. He has that exact same laugh. ;) It'll probably happen, now that I'm all thinking about it. Hmm. I just have to decide when...

[**Aleksi Braginski-Jones**] :: Hmmmmm... close! But that song traditionally comes from a certain other location right across the pond! It's not? I know it, and I love it. Ohmygod, I want to be in your class. Lucky duck. _Mara A. Jones: I've met stranger. I mean, hello, I live next to NEW YORK. Can't get much stranger than THAT. Well... mkay, maybe you can. Well. I guess we can both be thankful that we don't live next to France. That could have some serious consequences attached to it... _Dresden, eh? I love that last name! I need to go write that down on my names list. Thanks! =D

[**Meso the Hanyu**] :: _Gilbert Beilschmidt: Um, nein, you cannot misuse the word awesome. Its powers of awesomeness trump misuseness ANY DAY. Mmkay? That's lesson number one of being awesome. _Thanks. ^^ I just wanted to do something a little different. No, you're not wrong... but of course, it's going to take Arthur a bit to figure THAT out. Maybe if he stopped thinking about Amelia and/or Jeanette and/or Lovino he'd remember this! Well, can't be too mad at him, not once you actually start thinking about what HE could be thinking about... makes me wish I could draw a BL manga for Arthur and Lovi... wait, what? I meant make an educational video on the histories of the UK(e) and South Italy OF COURSE.

[**phomma-chan**] :: Nope, not the US, and it's not a national flower. Aww, it's okay! At least you're trying! ^^ It's the thought that counts, si? _Feliks Lukasiewicz: Ohmygosh, you know it, chick-a-dee! Gimme five! [/highfives her]_

[**iflip4dolphins**] :: I try to write long reviews if I can, whenever I can. Unless, I don't have much time. THEN I don't. But usually, I try. :) _Arthur Kirkland: Thank God, you're not Amelia. Jeanette feels the same way that, quote "l'amour must come from the HEART, not from the pages of a book!" end quote. Cheesy, yes. True, also yes. However_.._. yes, I do. There's a variety of cleaning spells in it. Only thing is, a certain authoress has it and I have no access to it... isn't THAT right, Akane? Wait. Scarborough Fair? ... Akane, you dolt. I can't believe you would hide there... Oh, I'm going to get you now... _Bollocks. Looks like I lost THAT battle. -_- That's how he is, I feel. Selfless is his care for the ones he loves (like Lovino and Ludwig) and in the ones that have an impact on his life. He's not completely airheaded, y'know. Feli's got a brain in there. Hah, like a Facebook wedding? Oh God, I can see that now. XD So many ideas, so little time... this must go somewhere. Plus, then getting "married" would tick two certain people off. The first is obvious, but the SECOND. Oh, I have plans for that. XD That's right, Akane is plotting. Nay, plotting AWESOMELY. Yes, I did. ^^ No PruCan in this chapter though. Actually... I don't know what pairings are in this chapter. If you SQUINT there's some Arthur/Yao, Arthur/Matilda, Antonio/Lovino and MAYBE some really cracky Ivan/Matilda. Maybe. I don't what I was thinking when I wrote that. Well, besides the fact that without that rift a certain other character wouldn't get drawn into this situation at all. Oh, I know. It's like Feliciano trying to threaten Ludwig. It's all fun and games until ponies get involved. Then it's serious business. -_- - Feliks's serious face. It's Feliks Lukasiewicz. Trust me, he's gonna get himself a pony-army. Starting with Aeden's horse, Thestral. Yup. Nothing's more romantic than Starbucks coffee. ^^ Ohmygod, Lichtenstein! I totally forgot about her, AH~! Damn! I need to put her in. Chantal needs her baby sister! (Lichtenstein is staying a chick. I don't know, I just don't see her as a male... Although, I can't say the name for Netherlands but vice versa, I am SERIOUSLY contemplating making Netherlands a girl.) Sure! I can do that, no problem. :) Oh and it was nothing. I'm glad I could help! And believe me, I will watch for it. ;) Good luck!

[**andthenshesaid**] :: Lots of Kingdom Hearts fans! ^^ Yay! I love the game, not so much the fandom. Because my love for crack pairings is IMPOSSIBLE to fulfill since almost every story you find nowadays spams SoKai, Namixas, AkuRoku, and RikuOC. Seriously? Is there some sort of fanfiction RULE stating that Riku needs to be with an OC at all times, and if not an OC than with XION, which is no better because she's nothing but a puppet? (Obviously doesn't care for Xion's presence in the canon universe. AU, I can handle her. But canon, no. She needed to die.) Me? I enjoy my Namora and my RokuRiku and AkuDemy and whatnot SO... yeah. You can see my pain. Oh. Right. Hetalia. Wrong fandom. [/is also easily distracted] Oh, I know. Between him and my tomatino Romano, I just can't resist the adorableness. So cute, buhyo~! (Spain moment. ^_^) It's okay, I'm a bit of a homewrecker. Like, I threw in that whole UKCan section right before PruCan so... yeah. Haha, don't worry. Amelia will SO get some love. Thanks for the suggestions!

[**Yukai yami**] :: I'm not going to confirm or disprove that. ;) Good guess however. I know right? How completely obvious is - ohh, that does sound wrong. Oh, so wrong. XD Please. Asking Amelia to stop building McDonald's is like asking Ivan to stop loving sunflowers. Not going to happen in THIS lifetime. _Jeanette Bonnefoy: Research is in progress, mon cherie~! Only thing is... it will slightly difficult to study this when this chaos is starting. But have no fear! I will most definitely send you pictures. ;) _

[**FranceGirl**] :: _Arthur Kirkland: Sigh... I'll try Jeanette. She's exhausting to deal with. _Tsundere jerk, you know you love me regardless. :) Aww, so cute with the way you worded that! And that is true. It's like all they know how to do is dance around each other, like what they've been doing for years. Yeah. FrUK is SO one of the angstiest pairings I have. In fact, I can't think of one to top it at the moment. Well... okay. Maybe I can. But I won't reveal them now. We'll save THAT for later. ^^ that's what happens when you watch English dubs of Hetalia and write.

[**Frostwhisker**] :: Really? Your friend texted you about that? XD ADM! You just made my day. :) Kingdom Hearts is epic. I mean, there hasn't been a bad KH game yet (well... I didn't like the storyline for Days, but that's just me) However, FF has some good titles but FF8 killed me. As in ran a gunblade through my soul killed me. Compared to 7 and 9 it was horrible. But, eh, glad you liked this chapter! _Gilbert Beilschmidt: Oh I know. And Amelia goin' on "put the controller down and walk away". Just wait until I nab her on Call of Duty. She'll be RUNNING from me. ;)_

[**ThePyschicAnimelovingBookworm**] :: Long username is STILL long, ADM. But still awesome. Oh, he's aware of that by now. Also doesn't help that Aisling is NOT on my side and told him. Yeah. Hate you Aisling. But anyway... mmhm. :) Mostly because that engagement not technically real, so it's not surprising that she'd forget. Slip-ups happen. Oh, no she's not. Yay, pairings! Oh, I'll gladly do RoChu. I actually used to hate that pairing, when I first got into the fandom. But eventually, I grew to tolerate it and now I love it. In fact, I think most of the pairings I like now follow that format, except for USUK which I can tolerate and like, but HATE how much it's spammed in fanfiction. Makes me lose my liking for it. Request number 2 for that pairing! :) _Chereneko Braginski: Hm, that's okay. Akane has an idea, don't you Akane? When does she not?_

[**SuperA n Twch**] :: Yup. Might as well admit to it. Plus I have to give it back anyway. Ah well... that means I need to start memorizing spells. Like the teleportation one! XD Hell yeah! Sale at Hollister FTW. Why London of all places? Seriously, I'm excited for you. However, I got all of that established so that way I know where to pick up once Ivan's arc is completely. Tsunderes Unite! is right after Ivan's! XD Oh I know. A lot of stuff needs a love button. Like Feli~! Wait... really? No WONDER I love this pairing so much! I thought I had actually cracked an fallen for a "canon" pairing. (Is a crack pairing advocate. Very few canon pairings have appeal for me.) POLANDSAURUS. Oh God, yes. Ivan, be terrifed. XD _Ivan Braginski: ... I am not scared, Akane~ do I look scared to you? ^^ Feliks can go crawl into a hole and die somewhere for trying to threaten me._ ... Yeah, I suggest Feliks starts running now. Bad experience? Like what? (Besides running into the fandom base - that'll give you nightmares). Haha, they most certainly were. That's because I love them as a pairing far too much for my own good, so they'll probably have those little moments. No, it's not a date. It's just two people going out for Starbucks even though there's some obvious chemistry there but they're too tsundere to acknowledge it! There's a difference. ;) Oh, I know. ^^ 171 reviews. I'm thrilled.

[**Randomanime**] :: XD _Arthur Kirkland: Personally, I prefer Bing over Google, but... whatever's clever, I suppose. It sounds like a song, so I had assumed that much... I just can't believe I can't remember this... Normally, my memory's much better. Wait. Unless Akane actually did use my spellbook and made me forgetful... Goddamnit, Akane, NO! That's why I don't want you to have it!_ Paranoid bastard. I love you too, Kirkland. Oh yeah, this'll definitely keep him busy.

[**rae1112**] :: _Ivan Braginski: Oh, rae-rae, you make me laugh. This is such a funny and untrue suggestion... [/reaches for his faucet pipe] Oh~ that is not going to happen, not in this era, and not if I have any say in such._ (Yeah, it will. XD Because Ivan, dearie, you don't have any say.)

[**Lydiacatfish**] :: LOL, the grocery store? XD He should definitely go to Publix. After all, there shopping is a pleasure~ _Arthur Kirkland: Well, obviously you can purchase other thing besides coffee there... and yes, I loathe coffee, but - don't tell me you actually agree with that wanker... W-Well, don't believe him. It's a lie. I have no romantic interest in Lovino Vargas... at all. It's a platonic relationship only. _

[**ZoosWho**] :: Hm. =3 Glad you like it so far! That makes ME happy. Well, the name of the song is helpful for him, but it's the place he needs to find. Of course, he's probably gotten the hint by now and is on his way, so I'm trying to respond to you and write down some of these spells at the same time. Of course... the teleportation one is in Latin, gosh darn it. _Amelia F. Jones: Wait, you're requesting what? ME? And BRAGINSKI? Oh, yeah, 'cause THAT's gonna happen. He hates me! And that hate is SO mutual, kay? I get the whole opposites attract thing because of Gilbert and Mattie - who are SO in denial, my God, Mattie just hit that already! - but really? Besides, last I looked Braginski was chasing after Yao (don't know why). So, like he's going to have any interest in me... _

[**The Dino that writes- Rawr**] :: Yeah, there's AuSwiss. Actually, it's more of a Elizabeta x Renate x Chantal deal going on, but that will be covered later. Leave no potential OTP unturned, as the old saying goes... wait, oh! It's leave no STONE unturned. Eh. Who gives a flying fish? :) Oh, there's definitely be RusAme, even if both parties will object at first. XD Ohonhon~ Jealousy? Oh, darling, I can do jealousy... There will be PLENTY of it, just you wait...

New review layout, new arc. Go me. _  
_

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**session twenty-one** :: decode [_paramore_]

- august 30th

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**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**question** :: _what does antonio find at the bottom of the lake?_

**hint** :: the best way to answer this question is by finding out what tarot card is affecting **Yao**, not Ivan. once you find this out, just look up the card's appearance, and that particular card's signature feature should be your answer.

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**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I love all of the haunted house stories here. They're so freaking awesome.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: What now?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Is it that old cabin by Baltic Lake? ;)

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You know me too well, Tonio. ;)

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Supposedly there's a ghost of a woman who walks over the top of the lake's surface, sobbing. No clue why... plus, not many people have seen her. They can HEAR her, but seeing her is a different story.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I don't know... I'm not really in the mood for ghost stories...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh, c'mon, Jean, that's so unawesome of you!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: If you weren't having a panic attack over Matilda, you were possessed by Autumn. So, frankly, you have no room to talk.

**Antonio Carriedo**: If Jeanita doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to. I'd LIKE you to go, but...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Je t'amie, Toni. Plus I can't swim, remember? I can't use my right hand yet.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You don't HAVE to swim though. Besides, if we're in the water, who's going to watch out for the ghost?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Por favor, Jeanita? :)

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Alright... I shall attend.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: But knowing Gilbert this is merely an excuse to see me in a swimsuit before fall kicks in, non?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Guilty as charged~

* * *

**Xiang Wang**: Something is not right.

**Kiku Honda**: Xiang-san, what seems to be the problem?

**Xiang Wang**: Yao. This morning, for reasons unknown, Im wanted me to show him tarot cards, so I went and like, asked Yao what some of the different ones mean, and I know how much Yao loves reading people's fortunes and stuff so I knew that he'd know, and he kinda blew me off, right?

**Kiku Honda**: ... Right.

**Xiang Wang**: Are you, like, getting this? Because this is serious.

**Kiku Honda**: Yes, Xiang-san. I am.

**Xiang Wang**: So I was just randomly picking cards up and whatnot and asking him, but then I picked up three and he just like, totally flipped out.

**Kiku Honda**: I don't understand. What do you mean by he "flipped out"?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Yao flipping out over anything sounds illogical...

**Matilda Williams**: What cards did you pick up?

**Xiang Wang**: At first, he wouldn't really look at them and just kind of answered them half-heartened, then I pulled out those three, and he, like went totally rigid. It was as if I'd gone and, like, Petrificus Totalus'd him.

**Kiku Honda**: ... What?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Nice analogy. So, what cards were they, if he was so freaked by them?

**Xiang Wang**: The Hermit, The Devil, and Death.

**Matilda Williams**: The Hermit?

**Arthur Kirkland**: What, Matilda?

**Matilda Williams**: Ivan is acting off today as well, and he said something about that card...

**Xiang Wang**: Okay, like, THAT is creepy.

**Kiku Honda**: Odd. So do you think that Yao-san and Ivan have had the same dream?

**Xiang Wang**: Dunno... this is no longer my problem though.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Just like his brother... so fucking helpful...

* * *

**Arthur Kirkland** || **Matilda Williams**: Talk to Ivan for me, and I'll talk to Yao. Alright?

**Matilda Williams**: Alright.

* * *

**Arthur Kirkland** || **Yao Wang**: Morning Yao.

**Yao Wang**: ...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, someone's in a good mood, aren't you?

**Yao Wang**: What do you want with me now, Kirkland.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... I just wanted to see how you were doing, Yao.

**Yao Wang**: I'm fine, Kirkland. Anything else you need?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright, that's it - what the fuck is wrong with you? And you better give me a straight answer, or I swear to God, I'll come over and get it out of you in any way I can think of.

**Yao Wang**: ...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Goddamnit, TALK TO ME.

**Yao Wang**: :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... What?

**Yao Wang**: You sound like Lovino.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I - wha - NOT THE POINT, YAO.

**Yao Wang**: ... Nothing's wrong though.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Don't lie to me, Yao.

**Yao Wang**: Nothing's wrong!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Stop acting like a hermit, Yao. It's killing me.

**Yao Wang**: ... W-W-What?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I said. Stop acting like a hermit, Yao.

**Yao Wang**: ...

**Arthur Kirkland**: It's killing me.

**Yao Wang**: I didn't - I'm not! Nothing's killing you!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Yao?

**Yao Wang**: J-Just go. Go. Leave me alone!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Yao, what on Earth - what did I say?

**Yao Wang**: I have to go.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Y-Yao! Really?

* * *

**Matilda Williams** || **(Mobile) Ivan Braginski**: Hey Ivan. ^^

**Ivan Braginski**: Privet, Matanya. How are you?

**Matilda Williams**: I'm fine, thank you. What about you?

**Ivan Braginski**: ... Fine, Matanya.

**Matilda Williams**: Are you sure about that, Ivan? You don't sound like you're okay...

**Ivan Braginski**: It's nothing, Matanya.

**Matilda Williams**: You expect me to believe that? I can't, not with you being so reclusive...

**Ivan Braginski**: I am not "reclusive".

**Matilda Williams**: Normally, no, you're not. But at the moment you're being almost... hermit-like.

**Ivan Braginski**: Mathilde, what do you WANT.

**Matilda Williams**: You're being difficult.

**Ivan Braginski**: What. Do. You. Want.

**Matilda Williams**: Just tell me what's the matter? Something's obviously bugging you!

**Ivan Braginski**: Well, Mathilde, did you ever think it is YOU who are bugging me?

**Matilda Williams**: No. I'm trying to help you, in case you hadn't noticed.

**Ivan Braginski**: You are being a nuisance, not helpful.

**Matilda Williams**: ... I really don't care what you think of me.

**Ivan Braginski**: Why is that? Because I am one of the few who remembers your presence anyway?

**Matilda Williams**: You HAD to say that, didn't you? No wonder you don't have any friends, Ivan...

**Ivan Braginski**: That is NOT true, Mathilde, take that back. Take it back NOW.

**Matilda Williams**: W-Why should I? I don't care what you do to me! You can do whatever you want to me, and I don't CARE.

**Matilda Williams**: Well? What are you going to do? Threaten me? Stalk me? Torture me? Murder me? WHAT?

**Ivan Braginski**: ... I don't want this.

**Matilda Williams**: ... Ivan?

**Matilda Williams**: Ivan? Where did you go?

* * *

**Arthur Kirkland** || **Matilda Williams**: Get anything?

**Matilda Williams**: No.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I think I got something out of Yao, but I'm not entirely sure. It was a very awkward conversation.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Matilda? Are you there?

**Matilda Williams**: Yes.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, from what I picked up it doesn't have to deal with The Devil. But The Hermit and Death however... there's a possibility.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Hmm. I've never had a nightmare that's affected me so badly that THIS happens but...

**Arthur Kirkland: **Matilda.

**Matilda Williams**: Yes?

**Arthur Kirkland**: You're awfully quiet.

**Matilda Williams**: There's nothing really I need to say...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright then...

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland** || **Xiang Wang**: Okay. Your brother is messed up.

**Xiang Wang**: I know THAT already, Sherlock. XP

**Arthur Kirkland**: No really. All I did was show him my brother's horse, Thestral.

**Xiang Wang**: What?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I was explaining the name to him - because a thestral is a creature in Harry Potter that have a reputation of being an omen of Death, and all of a sudden, Yao freezes up and then he says something about him not feeling well and he jumps off the horse and runs off.

**Xiang Wang**: That's definitely hermit-like behavior.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I know... this is definitely odd.

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Has just learned that most ghost stories have some merit. Serious merit.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Has the Bonnefoy House taught you NOTHING?

**Lovino Vargas**: That was Matilda, not an actual ghost, potato-bastard, pay attention.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: I meant the seven other ghosts in the house, Lovino...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Yeah. But THIS is different.

**Ivan Braginski**: How so~?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Well... we found a necklace.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ...

**Ivan Braginski**: That's not scary.

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: It's what the necklace was on that was creepy.

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Creepy in a "on-a-scale-of-1-to-10-it's-a-11" basis.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: More like a 13.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Definitely a 13.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: The necklace is rather pretty, rusted shut though, but that can be fixed.

**Arthur Kirkland**: How did you find it?

**Antonio Carriedo**: I was just swimming along the bottom of the lake and I saw something shiny. So I swam over and retrieved it, and that's when I saw it...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Did you bring it up?

**Antonio Carriedo**: I tried to, but I don't know what happened it.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Antonio ran out of air just before he broke the surface and dropped it...

**Lovino Vargas**: YOU IDIOT. DX YOU COULD HAVE DIED.

**Antonio Carriedo**: On the plus side, I beat my record! :D

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: There's still too much water in your brain, I think.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Whatever~

**Lovino Vargas**: Che. Fucking moron.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: So then, what, exactly did you find with the necklace, Antonio?

**Antonio Carriedo**: You're not going to believe this, but...

* * *

**special agent akane**: Insert cliffhanger, gets chased by angry readers. But, on the plus side, guess who got his spellbook back! :D

**Arthur Kirkland**: Me, obviously.

**special agent akane**: Hilarious that it took you TIME to actually figure out where I was.

**Ivan Braginski**: So you were in **Arthur**'s house the whole time. So clever~

**Arthur Kirkland**: NOT AMUSED, DAMN IT.

**special agent akane**: Okay, so. Arthur does have a surprise for you. Only thing is, we can't act on that surprise now considering what we're doing now. SO, just kick back and relax but you're definitely getting something for your efforts!

**Arthur Kirkland**: I don't think you can do much relaxing in this arc...

**Ivan Braginski**: Da. Arthur's right.

**special agent akane**: Hn. I forgot about THAT. So. Basic rundown of the arc. In the question section, every chapter will be a mini-puzzle you have to solve. I will provide hints, so don't think I'm not helping you. The next chapter, I'll tell you the answer to the last question and also tell you how I got to that conclusion. Then I'll provide that chapter's question and hint. But let's see how you all take to this riddle thing. Also, you don't need a deep knowledge of tarot cards for this puzzle. All of my knowledge is from a picture I found on zerochan of tarot cards with the Katekyo Hitman Reborn! characters and Disney's The Haunted Mansion. So... yeah.

[**special agent akane **_and _**2 **_others have logged off_]


	22. smooth criminal

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

Also. I edited a few things with the character directory. I added the following characters: South Korea, Taiwan, Belgium, Netherlands, Seychelles and Liechtenstein. Also, the "-Jones" part of Matilda's name has been removed (because she doesn't really use it) and... I think that's it. Next official character addition will be Australia.

* * *

[**Alice Barden**] :: Really? 8D So cool, I love that picture. The Hanged Man, The Magician, The Hermit, and Judgment are my favorites. Yours? Oh, it's not really about the combo of cards, it's just that one. Well, those three cards each relate to a person important in this arc, although you haven't met any of the characters yet that the cards represent. Hmm. You know what? That's an excellent observation. That fits Kiku as well... not really Arthur or Lovino because Arthur tends to have his illogical moments and Lovino is very emotional (and logic? Ha! Nonexistent 99% of the time. But that's how we love him.) _Xiang Wang: I don't know how this arc is going to end up, so honestly, I have, like, NO clue what's going to happen to me, or my family, or to anyone. We're just seriously winging it right about now..._

[**Yukai yumi**] :: Long enough. XD ADRIAN figured it out before he did! (Then again... Adrian gave me the idea.) It's called a Thestral. Persona? That's an anime isn't it? Haven't seen that one. I seriously no nothing about tarot cards besides what they look like, the KHR ones (there's some Hetalia tarot cards too, believe it or not. If I could draw, I'd make some of my own using the cast from this story), and the Haunted Mansion. Heh... if it weren't for that rift, Amelia wouldn't have bothered too much with Ivan, because she's trying to keep her sister away from him. Not gonna work that way, Amelia, but at this point she probably knows... _Chereneko Braginski: A dead body? Really? My... what kind of things is Akane throwing us into? I don't know the answer to the riddle - probably the reason, she has me answering this... but, that's a good guess. I have no idea though... but the answer's under these responses. Check there, I suppose. ^^ _

[**natcat5**] :: Ushishishi~ My love for you increases ten-fold, principessa... :) Mukuro's one of my favorite characters, he's amazing. He's definitely in the Top 5. (Plus, whenever my friends and I get together and do Reborn! plays and whatnot, I'm usually Mukuro, when I'm not being Belphegor. XD) It'll probably show up a few times, like with the Kingdom Hearts reference. ^^ Yeah, I almost hate doing that to the both of them, but... it's for the plot. It's because they both got so heavily under the other's skin so they're quite agitated with each other. Plus, Ivan didn't lash out like he usually does. If he had, this would be a normal situation, but Ivan's trying to control his rage. There's a reason for it, and it'll also be explained in this arc. _Yao Wang: Arthur being worried about me... aiyah, it's hard to explain, aru... it's a friendship that neither of us like but can't without. I don't mind it though, aru. At this point, I'm used to it. As is he._

[**iflip4dolphins**] :: You don't have to guess (but that would be nice XD), I just want you all to enjoy it. This chapter's question is easier, because you don't have to go to an outside source to look anything up. It's all in the chapter. Nothing wrong with that, right? Wait - let me consult my crystal ball. [/opens random closet and retrieves ball] Oh yes... I definitely see something... and it looks like there will be RusAme in your future! ... Well, okay, I could have just told you that, the crystal ball wasn't necessary. [/throws crystal ball across the room] ... Good thing I'm not superstitious, right? Xiang has a social life, he just doesn't like to admit it. I mean, he has Yong-Soo, and Kiku and Peter and Brynja... ;) Especially Bryn. Oh, well thank you. :) They both kind of hit a tender spot with each other, so for the moment they're kind of ticked, but they're more angry with themselves than they are at the other person. Because Matilda feels she shouldn't have let her emotions get out of control like that (to her, that's basically sinking down to Amelia's level, which she doesn't want to do) and Ivan feels bad enough for instigating the fight in the first place that he withdrew from it completely. If he does that, he thinks, he can control himself. It's 13 for a reason and not 11. 13 is a number associated with bad luck, misfortune, harm and in some cultures, death. ;) Because Toni's kinda a ditz like that. And later on when Antonio starts his moping about how his little tomatino hates him, we get to kick back and laugh and go, "Hello? He DOES care! You just ignored him when he said he did!" Besides, I like moments like those, when the audience knows more than the characters do, and eve more so vice versa. It makes the whole ordeal far more fun. I have her in the character directory now! So, yeah, she's official! :) Say hi, Liane~! _Liane Zwingli: O-Oh! I can say something now? Um... okay. ... Hi. ^^ I'm Liane... Chantal's younger sister. I'm a freshman in high school too, with Peter and Xiang and Tino. Although my big sister's really protective of me, I don't mind it. I love my big sister. :) And I watch out for her too (because sometimes she can get a little... bestial. Hn. It's true though! But only sometimes. Other times, she's a very, very sweet girl.)_

[**SuperA n Twch**] :: Just take a deep breath and calm down. Set the controller down and try again. See? Easy as pie. :) Um... wait. Which one is your answer? I mean... I don't believe in tarot cards either, but I used them for this fanfiction. And it's kinda not hard... (to me though, I asked a friend of mine to guess and she had no clue, so... but I mean, it's solvable. People have gotten it so far.) I'm trying not to sound condescending when I say that, but I mean, I actually made it a lot harder when I started. _Matilda Williams: Comforting? Oh... maple, y-you don't need to comfort me, I'm fine. It was just a - stupid... pointless... argument. Really. There's nothing wrong, okay? You don't have to worry... _Hahaha, Cliffhanger and his loyal sidekicks of doom Suspense, Irony and Foreshadowing has resurrected themselves! No chapter past this one is safe from their wrath. XD

[**FranceGirl**] :: Why do you feel responsible? You didn't steal it. I did. XD Maybe because you refused to help him at a point? Trust me, I'm not complaining. Good guess. Although, it ends up that the Devil is more affecting Ivan, because in Ivan's point of view, the Devil is actually a person in his past. Although in that person's point of view, a certain three people actually make up the Devil card. It'll make more sense as the story progresses. Angst. Because romance cannot exist without it. I have yet to find romance that doesn't have it. Actually, a lot of pairings in this show can get really angsty. Like, as you can see on my profile page, I have a love for love triangles. However, there are certain pairings that if you make into a love triangle or threesome, it will become quite angsty. Best example is Italy x Germany x Romano. Try to put all three of them together in the same universe and see if angst doesn't rer its ugly head in their somewhere. _Jeanette Bonnefoy: Oh, yes they do. It's almost disappointing how universal that pairing is... and I do not understand it! Amelia and Arthur have NO chemistry! Whatsoever! It is a flase, dry attempt at affection, and if I have any such say in this, I am nauseated by it. _... Someone's dramatic. ^^ Oh well. When it comes to Jean, don't try and prove her wrong when it comes to the laws of l'amour...

[**andthenshesaid**] :: I know. It's usually the same people with one or two new ones thrown in. Oh, my darling readers/writers curing writer's block? They do that for me! :) So yeah, you all ARE sheerly godly in ever retrospect. Don't deny it. ;D A story a month, huh? Dreams start small - and have to start somewhere. Oh, God, I know. I went through a EnglandChina faze a while back, and I'm obviously not completely over it. I swear to God, they have the best friendship in existence. It's like a rivarly, a relationship, and a dire need to be around the other person, regardless of that fact that they can't stand each other half the time. It's like Arthur and his family! XD They love each other, way deep down inside. Skeletons? ^_^ All I'm going to say on that~ _Amelia F. Jones: I KNOW! But you know I don't mind the AkuRoku thing, I'm a shipper too. That pairing was so supposed to be canon, did you know that? Only Disney kinda went, "Um, no." Which sucks. BUT seriously? If Riku's not with Sora or Xion, he's with an OC. Like, what the heck. Apparently the word "originality" does not exist in the KH archive._

[**Rue-the-Marauder**] :: _Ivan Braginski: Actually, a horse CAN be under a lake, silly little Marauder. :) Just not in the way you may think. For this you must think outside the box, da? Thinking ouside the box is always, always a good thing. But no~ it is not a crown... although... I wish it had been just a crown..._

[**Lydiacatfish**] :: I'll probably put the link up on my profile to the pictures for this arc, because this isn't the last time we deal with tarot cards (the person behind all this loves them. It's a little headcanon of mine that he prefers to have an idea about his own fate at all times. If not, he doesn't feel like he's in control). Yeah, I've sen the Hetalia ones. They're pretty cool, but I honestly love the KHR one more. Maybe because Gokudera's the Magician, Mukuro's the Wheel of Fortune, Fon is the Hanged Man (and that picture of his is BEAUTIFUL, by the way) and Kyoya is Judgment. Death isn't a scary-LOOKING card, but if you pull out the Death tarot card on someone who's a fan of such things, they will shudder impulsively. Plus, try dreaming about them. Dreaming about tarot cards (which funny enough has been happening to me recently) is not exactly fun. I personally don't mind the overanalyzation. :) I do it all the time. _Feliciano Vargas: Veh~ a flag? Like mine? [/waves around flag] I don't think it's a flag though, but you're close~! You got the card right, so yay~! =D You deserve a hug for that! [/hugs her]_

[**FrostWhisker**] :: Yeah, I got completely into rant mode there. That's because all of my frienda are like "FF8 was amazing!" and I, as an author, want to rip out my hair, braid it and strangle myself. Okay, plot is NOT my strong point in writing, but COME ON. I didn't mind Days, it was more Xion that bothered me. I mean, I got all excited for a game about the enitre Organization and I get one about Axel (who was never my favorite character), Roxas (who isn't even a decent Nobody - same with Namine), and a girl who is nothing more than a puppet gone rogue. I was sorely disappointed, but I played through it anyway. Yay! I'm glad you like it! That makes me feel so much better. Hmm. Good guess. ;) So am I, but that because I either overanalyze the really easy ones, or underanalyze the more difficult ones. But I'll usually be close, however, close for me is NOT good enough. _Chantal Zwingli: Frost, you cannot die because of a cliffhanger. Unless you are actually hanging from an actual cliff, you're not in life-threatening danger. Really. _Ignore her, she insists on being literal 24/7/365. How Renate puts up with her is beyond me... _Chantal Zwingli: Just shut up and finish replying already._ Alright! Geez. Haha, I'm trying to imagine that conversation now: "So, remember that part in chapter 5 where Arthur got all jealous of Jeanette and Antonio?" "OhmyGod, yes! I am SO supporting FrUK for this fanfiction." "Yeah, but I think Amelia should have him too." "Well, according to chapter 21, there's going to be RusAme." "Seriously? I thought Ivan would end up with Yao..." "Yeah, but knowing the author, there'll probably be some Antonio x Yao first. :) Did you not see her hinting at that in chapter 9?" XD If I am, in any way accurate, I'd be very, very surprised.

[**PelicansBA**] :: You want a Giripan arc? I just realized I haven't even used them that much in the story, good grief. I definitely need to do something for them. But, yeah, Giripan's a major possibility. I was originally thinking Turkey/Japan, but that kinda disappeared once I genderbended Turkey. _Lule Adnan: Well, last I checked I was the only Turkish resident here, so I'm guessing you're referring to me? Nice to meet you. :) I'm Lule, a.k.a. female Turkey, a.k.a. member of Cupido Aiutanti. That's where I am most of the time, anyway. It's taken me a while, but I've realized that there are some pretty interesting people in this town once you look for them. I'm guessing I'll see you around sometime in the future, right? If so, catch me if you can. Lule out. ;)_

[**Poisonlvania**] :: Aw, thanks. ^^ I'm really happy that you like it. :) I'm having exams soon, but you know what I'm doing? Writing this. So, trust me, you're not alone in your exam procrastination (haha, procrastinaters unite, dears). _Hera Karpusi: Well... I can definitely grant your wish... as in, for a new update. Hm. I really hope you continue to enjoy this story. :)_

[**Meso the Hanyu**] :: Oh, you flatter me too much. Seriously, I'm blushing over here. Actually, he's usually rather focused. It's just during certain times such as now, when it deals with his spellbook... or his "imaginary" friends... or Jeanette... or Amelia... or as of lately Lovino... Okay. He is a very unfocused individual. I'm sorry, Arthur, I tried! But it's true! Ancient civilizations? (History nerd moment begins... now!) Lucky! I LOVE ancient civilizations! My favorite of all time is Egypt. But Ancient Greece, and the Incas are in my top three. Ooh, and the Holy Roman Empire. XD And the Roman Empire. And 1500s Spain. And 1500s Britain. And 1800s France. And 1100s China. And - okay. What don't I love? (Okay, history nerd moment over. You may now breathe in relief). Oh, God, studying WWII in history was brutal. I could NOT stop laughing especially when a country was invaded... but I really lost it at the fact that Italy of all people/countries had invaded France FROM THE SOUTH in 1939. Like, mygod. That is fanfiction material right there. XD _Kiku Honda: Hmm. Your book sounds very interesting. Next time I visit the library I must go and search for that book. Hearing abour ghost stories from other cultures is very enriching. Thank you for sharing this information, I will read these stories as soon as I can. ^^_

[**Little Patch of Heaven**] :: Two in one review session, go! I seriously gave you a plot idea? YES! Embrace it! I love Scarbourough Fair too. It's one of the songs on my electronic keyboard, so when I found that out, I had a fangirl moment and promptly spammed the song for 20 minutes. While Feliks is probably the awesomest cross-dresser to ever exist, I'm pretty sure Feliks is not straight. Although, I'm really not sure at the moment whether he thinks he's male or female... but I'm going to guess that he thinks he's male. Knowing him, I'll probably set him up with Eduard... because I just see that happening for some reason. A little tiny headcanon of mine makes this possible. :) Love headcanons. Oh, totally. XD Arthur and Lovino are so denial for the moment. However, the real action kicks off after Ivan's arc. Oh, I am SO thrilled. One more arc to go, yes! Yes, Gilbert plays Kingdom Hearts. So do Amelia, Kiku, Matilda and Yong-Soo. Yao doesn't play it himself, but he's watched Kiku play it. ^^ Something along those lines, maybe...~ no point in saying so when the answer is right below. Nice observation. ;) I appreciate your input. _Antonio Carriedo: What...? Lovino was worried about me? Oh~ and I didn't even notice! Lo siento, Lovi! I didn't even know he cared that much! :) _Amelia is in this chapter, and she gets a major part in the next chapter, although she actually doesn't say anything, she's pretty crucial to that scene. So... yeah. No worries Amelia, I've got ya covered, hon. :) Oh I know. We need to expand the fanbase. I'm probably going to write a few one-shots. But we MUST get this fanbase to expand. I will not rest until Tea&Tomatoes is just as popular as USUK. XD Hell yes.

* * *

**session twenty-two** :: smooth criminal [_alien ant farm_]

- august 30th

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**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: a skeleton

**conclusion** :: the card affecting yao is the **death** card. while all three cards appeared in yao's dream, this one disturbed him the most. this is shown in yao's reaction to arthur saying "It's killing me." and his reaction to hearing about the thestral. although the hermit seems like a possibility, this is disproved by yao's lack of reaction when arthur says "stop acting like a hermit." the signature feature on the death card is the **skeleton** (which is Death). **  
**

**question** :: _who is the deceased person related to?  
_

**hint** :: despite all of the people around them, there's one person whose emotions don't seem to get the better of them. in fact, they seem to have the same emotion (or lack thereof) running throughout the entire chapter. find that person, and you find your answer.

* * *

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: ...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Stop leaving us in suspense, Antonio, I can't bloody take it any longer.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yeah, seriously?

**Antonio Carriedo**: It was a skeleton.

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt **_and _**27 **_others like this_]

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: O_o

**Ivan Braginski**: ... How creepy.

**Arthur Kirkland**: For the love of - WHAT?

**Lovino Vargas**: W-W-Wh-What-the FUCK?

**Matilda Williams**: As in an actual, human, skeleton? Are you serious?

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Ja.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Si.

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oui.

**Matilda Williams**: Maple... that's horrible!

**Feliciano Vargas**: Uwah? Oh, poor person~!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: There's nothing you can do, Feliciano. You can't help the dead.

**Feliciano Vargas**: I wish I could...

[**Lovino Vargas **_likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: The police are going to try and figure out exactly who it is. Then, they'll send me the results. How awesome is that?

[**Chereneko Braginski** _and _**30** _others like this_]

**Amelia F. Jones**: Sweet! Can't wait for you to uncover this mystery!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: That's Gilbert Holmes and Dr. Antonio Watson for you~

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt **_and _**3** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Lady, I love you. So much. XD

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Muah~! Je t'amie~

**Matilda Williams**: Cute...

[**Lule Adnan** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Lule Adnan**: I detect JEALOUSY again...!

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_and _**6 **_others like this_]

* * *

**Arthur Kirkland** || **(Mobile)** **Xiang Wang**: Think Yao knows about this?

**Xiang Wang**: Um, no thinking required. I KNOW.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Tell him about what Antonio found, and note his reaction carefully. I need to talk to Amelia.

**Xiang Wang**: Sir, yes, sir!

* * *

**Amelia F.** **Jones** || **Arthur Kirkland**: Alright, Artie, what is it?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Matilda.

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... That's specific.

**Arthur Kirkland**: How is she?

**Amelia F. Jones**: She's being extremely uncharacteristic today... like... really. Do you think something happened?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Wow.

**Amelia F. Jones**: I know, it's weird, huh?

**Arthur Kirkland**: No, you know words like that. I'm impressed.

**Amelia F. Jones**: KIRKLAAAAND~ this is serious! What has gotten into my baby sister?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Matilda's older than you though...

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... Psh. All technicalities.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, we noticed that something was considerably off with Yao and Ivan, so the two of us decided to talk with them. She talked to Ivan and I talked to Yao, but apparently, her conversation with Ivan didn't go so well... she was rather upset afterward.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Amelia?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Amelia, if you're going to harass him about it, I might as well write your eulogy now...

**Amelia F. Jones**: You better write a good one then~!

**Arthur Kirkland**: AMELIA! You idiot, don't tick him off ever more!

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones** || **Ivan Braginski**: Alright, Commie, what did you do to Matilda?

**Ivan Braginski**: ...

**Amelia F. Jones**: I swear to God, if you don't answer me, I'll throttle you. Don't tempt me.

**Ivan Braginski**: I did nothing to her.

**Amelia F. Jones**: LIAR! YES, you did!

**Ivan Braginski**: I am not lying. I, literally, did not do anything to Mathilde. I wouldn't dare.

**Amelia F. Jones**: What d'you MEAN, you "wouldn't dare"?

**Ivan Braginski**: Mathilde doesn't deserve it.

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... You haven't called her Mathilde in weeks, Braginski. What gives? I don't ever call her that!

**Ivan Braginski**: Nothing "gives". She doesn't deserve it. She deserves to be happy... And I don't deserve her friendship if I can't do that.

**Amelia F. Jones**: What the hell...?

* * *

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: A skeleton in Baltic lake. You are kidding with me, of course.

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: No, it's legit.

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: Es verdad!

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: How long has it been there?

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: It seems to be a few years at least. No one bothers going by the lake anymore, so, it could have been down there forever if we hadn't decided to break the cycle.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Know who it is?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh, let me guess - you murdered someone and shoved them down there because they looked at Ivan wrong.

[**Laima Lauriniatis** _and _**3** _others like this_]

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: It's a possibility. Look at you being all detective-like, Gilbert. :)

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: I didn't kill anyone yet. But if it matches up like I think it does, I know who did.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Keyword being "yet."

**Antonio Carriedo**: How could you possibly know? Tell me! ^^

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oui. I'm interested.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: The awesome me is intrigued~ Care to explain?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: That's for me to know - for now.

[**Chereneko Braginski** _likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Killjoy. DX

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _is now friends with _**Nikita Arvolskaya**.

**Ivan Braginski**: I have a feeling that this is a friendship I will heavily regret ever existed later on...

[**Nikita Arvolskaya** _likes this_]

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Nothing about me is regrettable, big brother~ you WILL grow to love me~

**Ivan Braginski**: ...

* * *

**Ivan Braginski**: Odd...

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yeah, you are.

[**Yao Wang **_and _**21** _others like this_]

**Yao Wang**: Matilda! Don't be so rude!

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... I'm Matilda!

**Amelia F. Jones**: No, wait, I'm Amelia!

**Matilda Williams**: Thanks, Amelia. Because people remember me well enough already...

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _likes this_]

**Matilda Williams**: But, what is it, Ivan?

**Ivan Braginski**: Well. I usually have a post-it note in my notebook with my Facebook information on it. Since I change the password at least once every two weeks, and since I am blond, I keep it there just in case I forget.

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _likes this_]

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Blonde joke, LOL~

**Ivan Braginski**: So I awaken from my nap, and I realize it is not there when I go to open my notebook.

**Yao Wang**: ... Of all things to steal...

**Ivan Braginski: **Steal?

**Yao Wang**: That's the most reasonable answer at the moment.

**Ivan Braginski**: Not really, Yao-Yao. Try again.

* * *

**Ivan Braginski**: Or, Yao's right.

[**Yao Wang** _likes this_]

**Yao Wang**: Sudden change of heart?

**Ivan Braginski**: My photo albums are missing as well.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: As are mine, brother.

**Ivan Braginski**: ... And it gets odder still...

* * *

**Jeanette Bonnefoy** || **(Mobile)** **Arthur Kirkland**: Are you out at the plaza yet?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Yes. Where are you, I thought you were interested in coming.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I'm with Antonio right now. We're waiting on the results.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Of COURSE you're with him of all damn people... regardless, how do you know you'll get them today?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: We have technology. :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: Ah.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: And the fact that Gilbert just sent me an IM saying he got them~

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh really now?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, and Gilbert says hello. He also says tell Matilda hello.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... We have technology. If he wants to say hello to Matilda, he can do that. But don't turn me into your messenger.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Gilbert says that's a completely unawesome, pricky thing to say.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: He also asks who's with you again - because he forgot.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Tell him his memory is pathetic. I'm with... Xiang, Laima, Ivan, Amelia, Yao, Feliciano, Ludwig and Lovino.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Again? -_-

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Just date him already.

**Arthur Kirkland**: My God, you as well? We are NOT dating, Lovino and I!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Gilbert says, and I quote, "Schibe. He's screwed."

**Arthur Kirkland**: And tell the King of Prussia why is that so?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Gilbert likes the nickname. And he says it's because you're going to have to deal with the person who's affected by this.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... So. What is the corpse's identity?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: He says he'll send you the message personally.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright then.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Have fun with Lovino.

**Arthur Kirkland**: For the last time Jean, we are NOT - wait. What's wrong?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Hn? Nothing, Arthur, mon cher.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Alright, I got the message. Mind if I respond to you later? I'm going to read this to everyone, savvy?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Antonio says good luck.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh, bloody hell... God knows I'm going to need it...

* * *

**special agent akane**: This is a very no-nonsense chapter, because it sets up a lot of these for the chapter that comes next and a few later on. So... the next chapter will be sort of in bits and pieces because the characters will be explaining the events that occured at the plaza. And naturally, all of the emotions someone doesn't show in this chapter will be spilt in the next chapter. Maybe when he had the chance earlier, he should have cracked... because you can't hold in your emotions like that... I thought he knew better.

**special agent akane**: See you next chapter, loves? I shall, won't I~?

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]


	23. time of dying

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

1) OVER 200 reviews. Ehmagawd, I love you all, like, so much! (Happiness triggers my inner Feliks/Xiang. Embrace the Valley girl accent!)

2) I, until a few moments was sure that there were 7 members of Cupido Aiutanti. I, after counting a few times, have realized there are eight. I need to write this stuff down like Ivan does, I'm having a blonde moment...

and 3) I'm sorry for the wait on this chapter. It's been a combination of school, writing chapters 24 & 25, and getting sidetracked by the infamously amazing genre known as sci-fi.

* * *

[**iflip4dolphins**] :: Your reactions consistently crack me up. And no, that's not too wild (actually, the way I came up with the question and its answer was kind of wild before I realized I needed to rationalize it). Spaz attack, go! Actually, he's not alone either. Antonio had a complete freak-out once he realized, oh, yeah, there were the remains of a PERSON in his hands! But, y'know, since it's Antonio he calmed down not long after that. :) Je t'amie means I love you in French. A part of the little bit of French I know. That's also the only French that Gilbert can remember - and he even forgets that. XD Oh, and hint, hint: whenever there is a like by Feliciano, Adrian, Feliks, Lule, Brynja, Elizabeta, Jeanette or Kiku and there's 7 other likes, it's usually a group like. Which means ALL of Cupido Aiutanti is witnessing this. Go teamwork. XD Of course. It's XIANG. He needs something to his character besides stoicness and a pyro-complex. (Oh, you and your fireworks, Xiang.) It ended up being more friendly than romantic, mostly because FrUk has taken over my brain, goshdarn it. I highly doubt Arthur's going to end up with anyone else besides her and Lovino (XD) and same with her (but with Antonio). The RusCan slipped in there, most definitely. I was just fooling around with story ideas while listening to Savior by Rise Against. Then, it just kinda hit me how perfect that song is for them and it was the start of temporary OTP switch. :) I really do like the idea of Ivan and Matilda together, it's cute (angsty as HELL though, and it's Mattie doing the angsting). But yeah, Ivan, Matilda and Yao will have an amazing friendship. And said friendship has nothing to do with the fact that Ivan x Yao x Matilda is listed as one of my favorite pairings on my profile. Nope. Not at all. Yup. Nikita~! Actually, Ivan wouldn't regret it TOO much - at least, not at the moment. Oh, I know. XD Amelia, you airhead. That's because I already have that scene planned for them, so I mean, as much as I would LOVE to make it sooner, I can't. Plus, hello - I get to bring together other pairings as well. So, win-win. Ohmygod. Ivan having a metal pipe in his locker. GENIUS. I must use that sometime in the future! =D There's a reason for stealing the photo albums and whatnot. It doesn't make sense now, but it will later. :) Hmm, thank you. Of course she'll appreciate it. She's Matilda and he's Gilbert. When WOULDN'T she appreciate him calling her? See? Arthur can brag about coming up with that, now can't you, Mr. God-Of-Guitar-Hero? _Arthur Kirkland: You're just jealous, Akane. And, dolphins, thank you for the concern. I really did need all the help I could get with this one... thank HEAVENS I brought Lovino with me. ... I - I mean... [/looks away] If, I hadn't brought Lovino, Feliciano wouldn't have come and then Ludwig wouldn't have come. And we needed Ludwig. Yes... _Oh, everything will eventually go well. Just you wait!

[**SuperA n Twch**] :: Good guess. ;) Oh, a friend of mine did that to me once. And I was like, "Seriously? I ought to throw scones at the back of your head so it contaminates your skin." Yeah - I don't like being played. Not at all. No it wasn't. But then again, that's because it's Amelia, and Ivan rarely ever takes her seriously. _Ivan Braginski: ^_^ That's right~ I don't! Hn... Actually... I'm surprised no one has died yet due to Nikita... Nikita's scary, da... [/shudders and looks away] Oh, I know! Who steals photo albums? And people say I'm creepy... It makes me feel kind of sad, especially now that this person is here. Really... I'm not that scary, right~? :) _Don't start laughing at that now, what are you going to laugh at when they actually start to have fun? ;) Heh. ^^ Don't wear yourself out waiting like that. But don't worry - said epic chapter has arrived.

[**FranceGirl**] :: ^_^ Yeah, seriously. It's just a book Arthur, you didn't have to completely freak out over it like a little girl. XD Don't deny it, you so did. Angst is great, you just can't overdo it. That's why the chapter after this one has a considerable amount of humor in it, because you can only have scenes like this for so long (that's also why I tried to break up some of the suspense with the Bonnefoy House). All that angst was getting to me. There IS such a thing as TOO much angst. (Too much is straight-up tragedy then.) Very jealous, aren't you Jean? _Jeanette Bonnefoy: Hmph. I'm not answering that. ... Wait. Arthur thinks I am dating who? Antonio I understand, he knows we are together, but... he better not start thinking I am also with Amelia. Because - I apologize for this Amelia - but that will never happen for as long as we both shall live. I'm not that desperate. :)_ This is my pot of tea too. :) Normally, I'm not a huge fan of tarot cards but I rewatched the Haunted Mansion and I refell in love with the movie. So, yeah. XD That and I love the music box in the beginning. :) We all know how music boxes play into a certain part of the story...

[**andtheshesaid**] :: [/dances with you] We should have invested in glow-sticks first, THEN started dancing. Rave party, FTW. Hmm. :) Ukraine's a guy actually. XD It's Chereneko. I remember it because it's Cher, then an e, then neko. :) Not too hard. It's not Xiang though. Same with me! Writing it down is far more painfully than thinking it up because I usually never know how to start it. I'm actually better with endings and then working my way backwards to the beginning (that's how I made this arc). _Adrian Kirkland: I know, I'm not in this one either... Feh. I'm in chapter 24 though, I get myself a nice little scene there. Don't worry too much, lass, I'll make a comeback soon. ;) _I'm shocked it came across like that, but that's what I get for re-discovering RusCan and listening to Rise Against right before I started this chapter. (Savior is SO Mattie and Ivan's theme song. Believe it.) No, but there will really be some RusAme probably around... oh, chapter 25. I can add it in there. ^^ Yay. Australia and Vietnam? Oh God, that's amazing. :) I'll tease that pairing for sure now. It's a thing? I think the correct quote is, "It's a quirk." XD Honda with his adorable little self, you will always make me smile. :)

[**Frostwhisker**] :: _Chantal Zwingli: Because, if you died from suspense how could you watch any sort of horror/thriller movie? Seriously. ._. Unless you have a medical squad on hand to shock your heart back to life every time, then I don't understand how on Earth you could still be alive. _Overly-literal much, Chan-chan? Don't worry, she's always like that. ;) Oh, I know, I hate that. I'd prefer to get it outlandishly wrong or be right, there is no middle man in that situation. However, I also seem to find said middle man regardless or whether I want to or not. Life is amazing like that. ADM. A Happy Meal? Genius. XD Tell your friend she's a genius. Ali-sun? Is that her actual name? That's so cool. 8D I've never seen it spelled like that. Or is that a nickname? Hmm. I love how people are guessing Xiang for this. ^^ I'm cracking up just a little bit. XD Feh, don't be like that. You love my cliffhangers regardless. I already know you do.

[**Meso the Hanyu**] :: _Ivan Braginski: =0 You're Russian too? ^_^ Yay! I have a fellow Russian~ I have a fellow Russian~ That's amazing! I had no idea. Well, of course, how was I to guess? I cannot read your mind, da? Although I wish I could... but! That is not important. What's important is that... I have a fellow Russian, yay~! [/hugs her] _You being Russian = epic win. XD Ivan agrees with me, obviously. Lucky duck! I love studying ancient China. Its history is very turbulent, but it's just as interesting. Are you serious. Julius Romano Caeser? I want that snake, damn it! :) Oh I know, I'm a complete history-nerd. Oh yeah, I know. All of the Frederichs and Alexanders and Ivans and Louises. Oh God, don't get me started on Louis. I still can't believe there was 16 of them. How did France manage to deal with that? I'm pretty sure it made him roll in his non-existant grave. I know I was. (That, and Louis XIV was a pompous PRICK. Like, geez.) I know... I can't watch Pearl Harbor anymore without laughing. Which is TERRIBLE yes, but I always imagine Japan throwing a fit and sending his avian forces to go bomb America. And that IS funny. Ooh. The English ones are probably terrifying. Which ones are the scariest, in your opinion? (Oh, and the cat-obsessed kid thing? That just means Giripan really IS canon).

[**Squishing Bananas**] :: Che, I'm already surprised it doesn't have one already. I wonder what zip code it would have... _Gilbert Beilschmidt: That's easy. It would be 2937663. _Which is, what, Gilbert? _Gilbert Beilschmidt: That's how you spell AWESOME into your phone, duh. Thought you were awesomer than that Akane. XD _... Ja. How could I not know that. Slightly evil? Well, that's the most understated description of evil I've ever received. :) Makes my cliffhangers feel better. They're not completely evil, you know.

[**Lydiacatfish**] :: 8D When at first you don't succeed, cover up your mistakes with as many paintings as you can find. XD Well, naturally, there's different people who write songs under the same name. And yeah, Smooth Criminal is by Michael Jackson, but Alien Ant Farm did a cover for it. And that's what I have on my playlist, so that's the band I used. Hmm. I haven't heard of The Academy. This is off of my song knowledge, so... No, Amelia and Matilda are step-sisters. They're not twins, and Matilda IS the older one, even if it's only by three days. _Amelia F. Jones: She's born July 1st, I'm born July 4. How frickin creepy is THAT? It's like we were destined to be sisters since birth. I mean, psh, we're not, but OHMYGOD, that would be so cool. Fate is a funny thing, as the saying goes, you know!_ XD You think it's Antonio? God, that's the best guess EVER! =D That's only because Antonio already had his little fit, you just didn't get to see it. Hmm... not really... just wait and see. I'm not going to spoil it here.

[**Rue-the-Marauder**] :: _Yao Wang: He is pretty stoic, aru... but no, it's not him. Nice guess though, it's unique. I know this only because I was there and saw this all happen... unfortunately. There's a difference between holding back your emotions and being naturally calm and collected, aru. _

[**Alice Barden**] :: Ooh. The moon was Fran, right? Yup. ^^ That one was nice. Judgement and Justice are so incredible ironic that I couldn't help but crack up. And Reborn as Death? Straight up GOLD. I can't remember who was on the Chariot... wasn't it Lambo? I know Dino was Strength. And the World... Giotto is gorgeous in that one. XD I wish these were actual tarot cards. I would so use them. :) Hmm... the classic love/hate relationship. I am familiar with this as well. ;) Ne, this one's not AS brain-numbing. In fact, it really isn't at all. All it takes is copy&paste and a click of the translate button. Hmm... interesting guess. And you know what? You are kinda right... I just realized that. However, there is ONE little hint in the author's note that says it's NOT Matilda. But gee, incredible guess though... _Matilda Williams: It's in the form a pronoun that she uses in the Author's note. It's a bit sneaky, but it's in there. But, um... eh... what else to say... see you next chapter? :)_

[**PelicansBA**] :: Arthur? Dang, these guess are getting more and more interesting. XD Oh yeah, and I'll totally read it, don't worry. And I'll review to it to, okay? _Lule Adnan: Chill. I'll remind her to make sure she does it. Right Akane?_ Yeah, but since when did you become my mother? I don't need you to remind me.

[**Readers-Section**] :: Oh, thank you! I'm flattered. :) You don't? Hmm. I find it interesting, taking male characters and making them female and vice versa. (Plus, more girls = an excuse to surf fashion websites more.) ^^ LOL, it's okay. You don't have to review EVERY single chapter, that's quite tiring. In fact, I rarely ever review every chapter of a story. I'll review every once and a while and then sum up all of the other chapters in that one review. It works for me. :) (And for them, mostly, because hey - they get a nice long review.) Oh, ArthurxLovino. If that has won your unmatched adoration, I wonder what I'll get when the arc actually starts. Ooh. Will I get a cookie? ^_^ _Arthur Kirkland: Give her a leprechaun instead. And not the little green-wearing blokes those idiotic Americans dreamt up. Actual, Gaelic-legendary leprechauns. She'll enjoy it. ;)_ Don't listen to him - actual leprechauns are evil. And he's still ticked over the spellbook thing. If you haven't noticed, Arthur holds grudges. :) But still, thanks for you review, I appreciate it and I'm very glad you're enjoying my story. It makes my day. XD

[**Yukai-yumi**] :: Haha. It's all technicalities, Yukai. That's all. :) And yeah, basically. Once you figure out how long the body's been down it, it won't make a lick of difference. Wait - Shut the front door. Was that a typo? I know I've made one legendary typo in this story already (it's in chapter 7. intentional. Actually, it's a little more than 50%. Around, 56% of the characters are male. I don't know for sure, I'll go actually look it up soon though. (It might be more than that, thanks to Seychelles being male as well.) Oh, that sounds cool, I need to look into that. ^^ _Feliciano Vargas: I saw that one too~ Akane showed me! But, veh... why am I the fool? I don't find that to be funny! Unless, it's a paradox-like-thing. Ooh. Then it would make sense for me to be the fool, because it's a paradox and - ... veh~ Now I'm confused. Uwah, I hate whenever I do such things and confuse myself, it's so hard to un-confuse myself! _Isn't he cute? Sheerly adorable. Even when perplexed like so. :)

* * *

**session twenty-three** :: time of dying [_three days grace_]

- august 30th

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: Ivan Braginski

**conclusion** :: as i mentioned in the author's note, this person normally doesn't hold their emotions in and shouldn't because that only makes it worse. well, it can't be someone who is normally very calm/stoic/good at handling their emotions. so, while i did have some incredible and diverse guesses, i.e. xiang, antonio (love you lydia & bookworm, that made my day) and matilda, it was ivan. this is shown mostly by ivan's lack of emotion when talking to amelia... and also. this is IVAN'S arc. that was, believe it or not, most of my reasoning for this question. XD**  
**

**question** :: _who is the hacker after?  
_

**hint** :: the hacker appears at the very end of the chapter, because the person posting as ivan braginski is not ivan at all, as yao reveals. parts of the hacker's posts are in a different language. looking at it isn't going to help you much, since there are several languages that look similar to it. hm. gotta love google translate...

* * *

**Chereneko Braginski** || **Nikita Arvolskaya**: Nikita! What's going on?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: You expect me to know?

**Chereneko Braginski**: How helpful. Really.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Why? What do you assume happened?

**Chereneko Braginski**: All I could get out of Eduard is that it was something with Ivan... I hope he's okay...

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Ivan's in trouble? And no one told me?

**Chereneko Braginski**: No! I - I don't know!

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: I'm going. I need answers to all of this. I need them now.

**Chereneko Braginski**: Will you calm DOWN? Ivan's my BROTHER, I want to figure out what's wrong, but - STOP SHARPENING YOUR KNIVES!

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: I'll be damned if you stop me.

**Chereneko Braginski**: W-Well, then... prepare to be damned to hell then.

* * *

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: That was traumatic.

[**Antonio Carriedo **_and _**4** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: Oh... you were with Ivan at the plaza... lo siento...

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Yes, I was.

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: How bad was it, Bruder? On a scale of 1-to-10.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: 11. But only because Amelia had to step in...

**Maiken Bondevik**: Great. What did SHE do now?

**Xiang Wang**: She tried to TACKLE Ivan, my God.

**Brynja Stilesson**: Are you serious.

**Xiang Wang**: Uh-huh.

**Renate Edelstein**: Whatever for?

**Chantal Zwingli**: Does Amelia F. Jones need a reason to do anything?

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**9** _others like this_]

**Renate Edelstein**: True.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: She was angry with him because he pushed Laima away from him and she fell.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Oh no. No, no, no, NO. I'mma kill him.

**Madara Galante**: Feliks, please! Don't go near him!

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Yeah, 'cause you are SO gonna stop me.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Determination, determination.

* * *

**(Mobile) Mei Wang** || **Xiang Wang**: Poor Ivan... I'd probably blow a gasket or two if I heard that...

**Xiang Wang**: But he didn't storm around and rage like I though he would. Only for a little bit, then it disappeared. It's like he just went blank.

**Mei Wang**: A sociopath with no emotions is scarier than an angry one.

**Xiang Wang**: I don't think he's a straight-up sociopath, but, like, he's got some major issues.

**Mei Wang**: I almost feel bad for Yao, because he has to deal with him...

**Xiang Wang**: Almost, Mei?

**Mei Wang**: Yeah. Almost.

* * *

**(Mobile) Yao Wang** || **Matilda Williams**: Matilda, are you busy right now?

**Matilda Williams**: No, but Amelia just called... she said she won't be home for a bit because once she takes Laima home, she's going to meet up with Adrian.

**Matilda Williams**: What happened by the way? She sounded completely miffed.

**Yao Wang**: She was...

**Yao Wang**: But Matilda, I was going to ask if you could come over to Ivan's house. He insists on it... in fact, he won't talk to me until you're here.

**Matilda Williams**: He insists...

**Yao Wang**: Yes, he does. You might want to pack an overnight bag though, because that's what he asked me to do.

**Matilda Williams**: I guess I'll get ready then.

**Yao Wang**: Want me to pick you up, Matilda?

**Matilda Williams**: Only if you explain this chaos to me in the car. :)

**Yao Wang**: Funny. :) It's a deal, then.

* * *

**(Mobile) Chereneko Braginski** || **Liane Zwingli**: Heard anything from Nikita?

**Liane Zwingli**: No, I haven't actually... why? What's wrong?

**Chereneko Braginski**: ... It - It's Ivan... I don't know exactly what happened yet, but...

**Liane Zwingli**: Oh. You're his brother though. And you don't know?

**Chereneko Braginski**: I know, I should know all of this... but I need to wait until my neck stops bleeding... plus I have to find Nikita...

**Liane Zwingli**: Huh? Oh, Chereneko! What happened to you?

**Chereneko Braginski**: Math equation for the day: Nikita + knife + rumors about Ivan - Ivan + a sudden bout of anger + me = me with a slit in my throat and Nikita gone to God-knows-where.

* * *

**Xiang Wang**: Gather around, children, it's, like, story time.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ooh~! Ooh~! Can I tell some? Please~!

**Xiang Wang**: Whatev.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yay~! [/claps] Okay, everyone~ gather!

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: So. I got the news from Gilbert about the skeleton he found in Baltic Lake.

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _and _**2** _others like this_]

**Madara Galante**: Oh, I heard about that. It was on the news.

**Eduard von Bock**: So that's what this is about...

**Feliciano Vargas**: But... when Arthur was about to tell us what news he'd received... something happened.

[**Antonio Carriedo** _and _**5** _others like this_]

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ._.?

**Lule Adnan**: So suspenseful. XD

**(Mobile) Elizabeta Hedervary**: I know, isn't he cute?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Hmm. If you say so, Elizabeta.

**Lule Adnan**: ^ Detected interest! XD

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy**_ and _**7** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: I don't recall doing a THING to him, and all of a sudden, Ivan just snaps, "Don't look at me."

**Chantal Zwingli**: This is just a guess, Arthur, don't quote me on it, but - I think you looked at him.

[**Renate Edelstein** _and_ **16** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Excellent observation, Chantal.

**Renate Edelstein**: :)

[**Chantal Zwingli **_likes this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: We didn't understand what was going on!

**Arthur Kirkland**: And I told him so, "I don't understand this, Ivan, what am I doing?" And his tone drops, and he's practically growling it at this point, but he says it again - "Don't LOOK at me like that!"

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: Damn creeper...

**(Mobile) Yao Wang**: Aru... You're mocking me again...

[**Antonio Carriedo **_likes this_]

**Antonio Carriedo**: I know, aren't I good at it? 8D

[**Yao Wang** _likes this_]

**Yao Wang**: Aiyah, Antonio... whatever shall I do with you? X3

[**Antonio Carriedo **_likes this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: So he just stands up and he's shaking all over, and we're all looking around at each other, perplexed as hell...

**Feliciano Vargas**: We should have guessed something was wrong, though. He was really quiet after we told him about the skeleton...

**Xiang Wang**: Then Amelia remembered something that Jeanette had given her. It was this cute little locket.

**Arthur Kirkland**: The locket, apparently, had been rusted shut, but Jeanette's father took care of that. The picture inside was faded, but not too terribly. You could still make out mostly everything. But... She started passing it around...

**Feliciano Vargas**: I thought the woman in the picture looked like Amelia's sister...

**Xiang Wang**: It reminded me of Brynja.

[**Brynja Stilesson** _likes this_]

**Mei Wang**: Of COURSE it would. XD

**Arthur Kirkland**: It looks more like Madara to me, actually.

**Arthur Kirkland**: But, regardless, it got to Ivan.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Then everything got really, really bad...

[**Lule Adnan **_likes this_]

**Lule Adnan**: You say that like it wasn't bad before.

**Xiang Wang**: He just completely went bat-shit INSANE.

**Arthur Kirkland**: He just went OFF.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Si~ Like a rocket!

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt** _likes this_]

**Antonio Carriedo**: Oh, why, Feli must you be so consistently adorable!

**Feliciano Vargas**: ^^

**Arthur Kirkland**: He starts saying, "No, no, no, no," just over and over. And he's holding onto the locket like it's his lifeline. And we don't know what to do - I've seen him get angry, but this was...

**Xiang Wang**: Sooo not right.

**Feliciano Vargas**: But then~ Laima tries to calm him down... she walks over and tries to figure out what's wrong.

**Arthur Kirkland**: He stops for a moment, like he's taking her in. And she places her hands on his shoulders and then, he just snaps.

**Xiang Wang**: He freaking SHOVES her backwards, she falls, and hits her head against the fountain.

**Eduard von Bock**: ...

**Madara Galante**: Oh my GOD...

**Peter Kirkland**: Is Laima okay?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Amelia's not online, so I can't ask.

**Xiang Wang**: And then Amelia evolved into a straight-up BEAST and thinks it's a totally smashing good idea to try and beat the living HELL out of him.

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _and _**4** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Xiang couldn't stop her by himself, we had to ask Ludwig to restrain her.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Go Lud! :)

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Right... dansk, Antonio...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Then Ivan starts muttering to himself. It's in Russian, mostly, but there's some English in there as well... it's the English I picked up.

**Feliciano Vargas**: And a name~! Sveta.

**Arthur Kirkland**: The last coherent thing I hear him say is about his sunflowers. How they just keep dying, one by one...

**Xiang Wang**: Then I look up, because Germany was all, "Ivan... Ivan... IVAN!" and then like, two seconds later - BAM. He crumples to the ground like a puppet with its strings jacked up.

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _likes this_]

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Ohmygawd, best description EVER. XD

**Feliciano Vargas**: It was so scary, poor Ivan! I thought he had died of grief...

**Lovino Vargas**: Idiot. No one can DIE of grief, Feliciano.

**Chantal Zwingli**: You'd be surprised.

**Hera Karpusi**: Ha. No one can die of grief... That's a very narrow-minded observation...

**Lule Adnan**: Oh, don't get HER started.

**Hera Karpusi**: But Arthur... Feliciano... Xiang. I don't understand completely... who is Sveta?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Sveta is a nickname for Svetlana. Svetlana is, or should I say was, Ivan's mother.

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Ivan Braginski** || **Yao Wang**: Эй.

**Yao Wang**: ... Huh? How are you...?

**Ivan Braginski**: Surprised to see me?

**Yao Wang**: Wait a second. How are you texting me? You're asleep. And right next to me.

**Ivan Braginski**: Shishishi~ I have my ways.

**Yao Wang**: Or maybe YOU'RE the person who broke into Ivan's house and stole his photo albums and his Facebook information. How much of a creeper do you have to be to do that?

**Ivan Braginski**: Pretty damn creepy, I guess.

**Yao Wang**: Do you even know Ivan?

**Ivan Braginski**: Так. I know him very well.

**Yao Wang**: So why steal his photo albums?

**Ivan Braginski**: I don't want him to remember me. Not now.

**Yao Wang**: You don't want Ivan to remember you.

**Ivan Braginski**: Няма. You don't understand.

**Ivan Braginski**: So who are you consulting for questions to ask me?

**Yao Wang**: ... What?

**Ivan Braginski**: You heard me.

**Yao Wang**: ... A friend of mine.

**Ivan Braginski**: Сапраўды. Friend's name?

**Yao Wang**: I'm not telling you that.

**Ivan Braginski**: Fine. Tell your pretty little blonde friend I said hello. Good night Yao.

**Yao Wang**: ... How do you know she's blonde? What the hell, are you STALKING ME?

**Ivan Braginski**: Sweet dreams, Wang Yao. Sweet dreams. ;)

* * *

**special agent akane**: Here's a run-down of the next couple of chapters for you: chapter 24 will be a bit more low-key than this one, mostly bringing the Asians into play (because they get drawn into this too, thanks to Yao) and will move on to the next day, if you haven't noticed that we've been on August 30th for the past three chapters. Chapter 25 will also be low-key until the very, very end. THEN things get intense again. I mean... Bonnefoy House intense. I'm writing it right now, and I'm pretty depressed by it. I'm sorry for what I'm doing to you Ivan. (God, wait 'til I go back to the Bonnefoy House again. If I write half the things I'm thinking about writing, you all are going to hate me. Chapter 26 isn't as low-key, naturally, thanks to chapter 25, but you'll see what I mean when we get there. Okay?

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]


	24. new low

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

Also, for some reason I can't post chapters over 2,000 words. Maybe the internet on my part is just messed up, but... I'll respond to your reviews through the review replier, okay?

* * *

**session twenty-four** :: new low [_middle class rut_]

- august 31st

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: Nikita Arvolskaya

**conclusion** :: i forgot that using the language detector would lead to such backwards results. but, it was the last one that got the one i wanted. Сапраўды is belarusian**.  
**

**question** :: _what tarot card is the hacker's message written on?_

**hint** :: there is an overall theme for this chapter conveyed in almost every set of messages (found in a certain repeated word). this theme is especially shown towards the beginning, . once you find this theme, you need to find the tarot card out of the three (the Hermit, Death, and the Devil) that is the OPPOSITE of this theme.

* * *

**Matilda Williams** || **Yao Wang**: Good morning. :)

**Yao Wang**: ... Why didn't you just wake me up by speaking, silly?

**Matilda Williams**: Ivan's still asleep. I didn't want to start talking and wake him up.

**Yao Wang**: Good point. He looks so peaceful right now...

**Matilda Williams**: ^^ I know... We should get up and get ready for school, now, shouldn't we?

**Yao Wang**: Yeah, we should. Ivan will be okay, he has Chereneko with him.

**Matilda Williams**: Okay. Let's be quiet though.

**Yao Wang**: Like ninjas?

**Matilda Williams**: :) Exactly like ninjas.

* * *

**Adrian Kirkland**: Is still trying to pry Amelia off of my bed...

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_and _**6** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: You're trying to do WHAT?

**Aeden Kirkland**: Get some, Adri, get some. ;)

[**Adrian Kirkland** _and _**2** _others like this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: Amelia came over to my house, got pissed drunk, and passed out on my bed.

[**Maiken Bondevik**_ likes this_]

**Matilda Williams**: You let my sister get that drunk, Adrian? -_-

**Adrian Kirkland**: She'd throw a fit if I tried to stop her, lass! Otherwise I wouldn't have!

**Kiku Honda**: Adrian-san, you must try to wake her.

**Adrian Kirkland**: I'm trying to knock her up right now!

[**Antonio Carriedo **_and _**12** _others like this_]

**Ivan Braginski**: ... Ivan does not approve at ALL. :(

[**Feliciano Vargas **_and _**8** _others like this_]

**Matilda Williams**: Oh. Okay. Just keep trying Adrian.

**Kiku Honda**: W-What? I - I am sorry, Adrian-san, that must have been a typo...

**Andersen Densen**: That's the worst damn typo I'VE even seen, then!

[**Maiken Bondevik** _and _**10 **_others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Birdie. DID YOU NOT JUST READ THAT?

**Adrian Kirkland**: Damn, I forget that I'm in America... "knocking someone up" in Britain means to wake them up. THAT'S what I'm trying to say.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, Adrian~ You better be glad that was simply a misused statement...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh! But, Birdie, you're not a Brit. How do you know that?

**Matilda Williams**: Arthur. ^^

* * *

**Im Yong-Soo**: Aww~ Chereneko's not here today... he's my science partner! He actually makes it fun!

[**Yao Wang** _and _**3** _others like this_]

**Liane Zwingli**: Neither Chereneko nor Ivan nor Nikita are coming today. I just asked.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Didn't I TELL you not to associate yourself with that creeper?

**Liane Zwingli**: But... I like our relationship big sister... I-It's nice... It's like the one you have with Renate. ^^

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt **_and _**12** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Mein Gott, she's so cute and innocent. XD

* * *

**Renate Edelstein** || **Chantal Zwingli**: I am as shocked as you are...

**Chantal Zwingli**: I didn't know they were dating... Did you?

**Renate Edelstein**: If I did, I wouldn't be surprised.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Oh. Renate.

**Chantal Zwingli**: She thinks we're friends.

**Renate Edelstein**: ... I don't know whether to be relieved at how innocent and naive she is or to be in awe that someone can actually be that innocent and naive.

**Chantal Zwingli**: I pick C) All of the above.

**Renate Edelstein**: Excellent choice.

* * *

**Yao Wang** || **Matilda Williams**: Should I tell Ivan about the stalker/creeper/thief?

**Matilda Williams**: Not right now, I don't think. It's probably a bad time...

**Yao Wang**: But... How am I supposed to concentrate when I am in complete fear for his life!

**Yao Wang**: And yours.

**Yao Wang**: And mine as well, now that I think about it.

**Matilda Williams**: Well, he hasn't contacted you yet so...

**Yao Wang**: Do you think we're overthinking this? I mean... it could be an old friend...

**Matilda Williams**: Or a long-lost relative?

**Yao Wang**: Or a past love?

**Matilda Williams**: Yes! It could very well be!

**Matilda Williams**: Are you still worried?

**Yao Wang**: Not anymore, no. :)

* * *

**Ivan Braginski** || **Thanatos Winter**: Than, it's me. As in, not Ivan. Did you put the card on his locker?

**Thanatos Winter**: Yup.

**Ivan Braginski**: Has he noticed?

**Thanatos Winter**: Not yet. According to your notes though, he tends to leave the cafeteria early to get his books from his locker, so he'll see it soon.

**Ivan Braginski**: Good.

**Thanatos Winter**: But why do I have to be the one stalking him?

**Ivan Braginski**: Because I'm watching the Braginski house and I can't be in two places at once... um, duh, Thanatos.

**Thanatos Winter**: Wish you could. I don't WANT to see Nikita again. I don't like him.

**Ivan Braginski**: If this goes the way I want it to, you won't have to.

**Ivan Braginski**: Plus, he's not even at the school anyway. I'M watching him.

**Thanatos Winter**: You're the best big brother EVER... Ivan. ;)

**Ivan Braginski**: :)

* * *

**Kiku Honda**: Yao's been awfully quiet since lunch...

**Mei Wang**: How so?

**Kiku Honda**: He looks stricken...

**Xiang Wang**: What on Earth could have happened?

**Im Yong-Soo**: I'll ask~!

**Xiang Wang**: MYGOD, we're actually related to him, Im, just, like, let us handle this situation!

**Im Yong-Soo**: No, I can do it! Just trust me on this!

**Mei Wang**: Let him, Xiang.

**Xiang Wang**: ... Whatev. Go 'head then.

**Im Yong-Soo**: Da ze! You wouldn't be disappointed!

**Kiku Honda**: Are you sure he is going to take this seriously?

**Mei Wang**: If it's his Aneki... then, yeah. Im can handle it. :)

* * *

**Im Yong-Soo** || **Yao Wang**: Aneki~ you alright?

**Yao Wang**: Im. Can I tell you something... privately?

**Yao Wang**: Wait. I'll tell you in 6th period. I need to tell Matilda as well.

**Im Yong-Soo**: Okay~!

* * *

**Im Yong-Soo**: SOME CREEPER IS STALKING MY ANEKI, WTF.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**4** _others like this_]

**Kiku Honda**: ?

**Xiang Wang**: ?

**Antonio Carriedo**: O_O?

**Im Yong-Soo**: Seriously. Matilda, he told you too!

**Matilda Williams**: Someone left a note on Yao's locker...

**Im Yong-Soo**: It said, "Blood is red, corpses are blue, those are the colors you'll see, once I'm finished with you."

**Antonio Carriedo**: No me digas...

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'd like to see them do something.

**Matilda Williams**: But the note didn't have Yao's name on it. It had... well, something in a different language.

**Yao Wang**: Никита.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: That's my name, written in Russian.

**Yao Wang**: It is?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Maybe it was for me.

**Yao Wang**: I - I don't know... I - I hope not...

**Mei Wang**: Maybe it was a prank. All in innocent fun?

**Yao Wang**: How myopic of you, Mei. Because someone would leave a note attached to my locker with a cryptic message on one side and a drawing of a tarot card on the other.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Which card was it, Wang?

**Yao Wang**: I'll tell you... But first we need to get Ivan online.

* * *

**special agent akane**: I have a question for you all, because the ending of this arc is going to be interactive. I want to know whether to end it with the hacker escaping OR with the hacker's death? This is YOUR choice you guys, I'm counting on you, alright? Thanks you all for everything - for being patient, for being amazing, just for everything.

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]


	25. my best theory

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

Fixed, BTW. My computer was just being slow.

Oh, and BTW, all review replies for chapters 25, 26, AND 27 will be on chapter 28. Why? Because those three chapters are going up back-to-back-to-back, that's why. Payment for me being so darn lazy. XD

* * *

[**Lalliey**] :: **10.** I found a picture once, of Feliciano as Mario, Lovino as Luigi and Francis (a.k.a. France in all of HIS un-genderbended glory) as PEACH. I'm pretty sure I died just a little bit inside. **19.** I didn't mess with the canon names of the characters unless they were genderbent. But if I HAD made Sealand a girl, I would have. I'll make  
up a reason as to why Peter didn't follow the family traditions anyway. **20.** Chereneko x Mattie? Hmm. Interesting. I haven't done many pairings yet (except in this chapter I dedicated a HUGE section solely to RusAme and will do the same thing for RoChu and Ivan x Feliks.) **23.** It's not Yao, because Yao's receiving the messages. Matilda's beside Yao and can simply talk to him - PLUS neither of them know Ivan's password. And it's not Ivan because Ivan's asleep next to Yao and Matilda. You're going to have to look between the lines to find the hacker, he's sneaky. _Ivan Braginski: Da, he IS sneaky. Although, he is_ _not that sneaky, no, no! I'll catch him. He will regret taking his_  
_first breath once am I through with him, do not worry. ;)_

[**Lydiacatfish**] :: The opposite of "waking up" would be "going to sleep". Just a guess. But, hmm. The Devil as a guess? Quite interesting... _Thanatos Winter: The Devil? Really? That's actually my favorite card... I_ _always seem to find that card when doing a reading, maybe it simply_ _likes me. _

[**TABC**] :: _Kiku Honda: Hmm. Well it is naturally for everyone to be in_ _a group. Is Facebook not a social network? I suppose that is a very_ _reasonable answer, however. I would agree with you if I did not_ _already know the answer._ Vote number one for the hacker escaping! :) That's cool. I wouldn't mind an escaped hacker.

[**WashuPeku**] :: Vote two for the hacker escaping! =D _Yao Wang: I don't_ _agree with that decision, aru... -_- If he returns and bothers Ivan,_ _that means I have to deal with him again! And I am already not liking_ _this, aru! Don't add even MORE stress onto my life, I can't take it!_ Don't worry, nothing TOO bad is going to happen? I mean, you live, right, Yao? So just chill. ^^ _Yao Wang: AIYAHH~! I HATE my life!_ _[/headdesks]_ (Ignore him, he's a drama queen. XD) Oh, and yes: we can be soulmates. I'm glad someone likes my music as much as I do.

[**Frostwhisker**] :: That is so cute. ^^ Ali-my-sun. Oh sure, do a switch off. I certainly will enjoy talking to you both. Well, I hadn't known that Google Translate would be so faulty, I mean, shoot Google. Work with me here. Now hang on a second, there, Frosty. Just because you see the name "Winter" DOESN'T mean you're looking at General Winter.  
It could be just a clever ruse. You never know. ;) _Jeanette Bonnefoy:_ _Oui, mon amie. She's right. I have the script in my hand and even I_ _cannot figure out this backwards puzzle. Then again, this is life, no?_ _Of course, the Hacker's identity I don't know. And, unless he does_ _come back, I will never know. However, I will say this: you're getting_ _colder. Not warmer, colder. And I use colder for a reason. ;)_ True, true. Killing him would have closure, but NOT killing him... well that just adds paranoia to everything, doesn't it? I love paranoia. Hmm. I see innocence too. Funny, great minds think alike don't they? But of course, they're no point in me telling you the answer, now is there? :) Oh, and for Ali-sun: You thought there were hints at RusAme there? Watch this. I'll give you RusAme. So that's a total of four for the hacker living. Awesome. ;)

[**Phomma-chan**] :: _Chantal Zwingli: Holy crap. You're the only one who_ _said the hacker should die so far. It's 4-1 now. And agreed. If I was_ _involved with this arc, there would BE no more hacker. Trust me. All_ _that would be left is sinew and bullet cases. An maybe some bones, if_ _he's lucky._

[**Map Of The Stars**] :: First off: AY DIOS MIO. You went and reviewed EVERY chapter? I don't even have the desire to do that, and I write the thing! Wow. That's a Prussian feat right there, you seriously deserve a round of applause (or 30). But now to responding to your actual reviews: Warning, this may get LONG. **1.** I know there are a lot of Facebook stories out there. The one that inspired me to start was KHFB! by Tweezers. Except I didn't really want each chapter to stand alone, I wanted them to connect. And this is the result. _Jeanette_ _Bonnefoy: Not just this. The result is me, all of the people that_ _surround me and how life goes for us. THAT is the result. Akane's job_ _is merely to record it. We actually have to LIVE through it. And non,_ _it is not as much as a piece of cake as one may think. As Jeanette_ _Solange Bonnefoy, I have a right to agree with my own statement. _(I tend not to break the fourth wall while their responding to you, if you hadn't noticed. So they may sound a little... off.) **2.** More like poor Adrian. XD He had to eat Arthur's scones. And he SURVIVED. Now isn't that just torturous enough? I shockingly got used to it, although I fought over a couple character's genders for quite a while  
(the most notable examples being Ukraine, Belarus, and the Netherlands, who I'm actually STILL debating over). Haha, she does. =3 Making her into a girl was surprisingly easy than making Jeanette or Matilda into a girl. That's why Amelia appears in almost every chapter, because I understand her more. The others are still work-in-progresses sort of. _Adrian Kirkland: Oh, that twit. Aisling's_ _my older sister. While apparently I have a lot of Scottish spirit in_ _me, she seems to be the incarnation of Ireland, which, by the way, is_ _hilarious, especially because she tries to be the responsible one and_ _she's far worse than all of us boys combined, that little slag._ So, to answer your question: yes, Aisling is Ireland. You meet her again like, 16 or 17 chapters later as well. XD **3.** _Madara Galante: Cute_ _isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe him, but... okay. I - I_ _guess. ^^ I - I - I mean... he can have his cute moments b-but for the_ _most port, not really... i-it kinda... depends on his mood?_ Or you? It's usually Yao that calls him a creeper, I just realized I did that. And people say that Arthur and Yao aren't in sync with each other. (Oh please. Chapter 19 has the best example of THAT. You can't get any more in sync than that). **4.** Well, that's them. I figured they'd have some logical explanation to explain their lack of logic, so there it is. Ooh. Nice pairing suggestions, especially Elizabeta/Lule. I was totally planning on that. As for Gilbert/Jacques, I haven't introduced Jacques yet but he comes in during the Around The World In 7 Days arc, and just a little bit before that he's mentioned (he's a dear friend of Jeanette). There WILL be Ivan/Feliks. Only thing is, both of them will deny it. A LOT. But like Feliks said, Ivan sometimes just can't keep his hands off of people. ;) Hmm. Only thing about Ivan/Liane is Chantal. Chantal is already trying to keep Liane away from Nikita, but there's no way she'd let her near Ivan. Chantal and Lovino? Okay. I HAVE to do that now. I'mma do that in... well... somewhere. Gilbert and Elizabeta was a past couple (like Mattie and Arthur), but hmm. Spamano is a definite. I have that planned out to start right at the end of the Tsunderes Unite! arc. USUK will have its moments, although I'm pretty sure that the final pairing will be FrUK. You also have to remember, the two people I'm mostly aiming to set Amelia up with are Ivan and Adrian. OH. And GerIta. OF COURSE. Now that I grant. _Lule_ _Adnan: See, just because Feliciano doesn't want to deal with his own_ _love life, doesn't mean WE aren't going to do anything to help him._ _There's no way we can just let THIS golden opportunity pass us by._ **5.** =_= Hmm. Let's ask a professional if that's a good-enough likeness. Adrian? _Adrian Kirkland: That's a little TOO similar, lass. What,_ _you're stalking my brother now or something? But remind me to use that_ _emote when I bring him up next time, kay?_ HAHA. American's not a language yet. But no worries, once Amelia gets into office it will be. XD **6.** Seriously? No, it's still on YouTube. It was last time I got on  
YouTube, so... that's odd. Yay fanart! Most of it's the Italy brothers anyway, so I'm not complaining. Oh, thanks. I just wanted to do something different, that's all. I'm glad you like it though. _Renate_ _Edelstein: You're not actually at the house so don't get all excited._  
_It's sickening to be really._ **7. **_Gilbert Beilschmidt: Kesesese~, I knew you loved me that much. [/hugs Map] As awesome as it is that this chapter made you that happy - no, this chapter is NOT awesome because Birdie disappears in this chapter! And I didn't learn about until later... Tch. They are so mean to keep something like that from me. _**8.** Yeah. That was so much FUN. No, seriously, being kidnapped by Gilbert was fun. XD _Lule Adnan: Eh, that's fine, I barely pay attention to these early section anyway. So I sympathize with you. Be as lazy as you want, dearie, I ain't stopping you._ **9.** Very long. :D That's a world record, I think. I was fangirling while writing this chapter too, but, that's because I found zerochan and I was looking at pictures of Adrian. Adrian is so hot, my God. Plus around this time, I made Aeden and Aisling so I was like, YES! The Kirkland family is complete! (Well, almost complete. One more character to bring into the Kirkland house!) **10.** Well, yeah. Just like how Arthur and Lovino are a lot alike yet I'm pretty sure they don't even meet in the anime, it's the same with Antonio and Yao. Plus, they're my two favorite characters - so bonding them was like taking peanut butter and combining it with jelly. Easy. _Yao Wang: It's just - he's not Arthur, aru, and we all know that friendship is as backwards as it gets. But... yes. Antonio IS my friend, and he's a cool person to be around. Plus, and keep this on the down low, he taught me how to dance. ;) _You mean the fic I never ended up writing because I got distracted by the world of sci-fi writing? XD Yeah, that one. But alas, do not worry, I have chapters one and two done and ready to be proofread, then submitted. **11. **I like it too. :) I can't WAIT to get back to it, and it also doesn't help that I'm continuing it. Tch, I don't mind it too much. My fingers say otherwise, but y'know, they'll live. **12.** _Hera Karpusi: How...? Why...? Why would you stay up so late? The only thing I ever stayed up that late was... when I was... a baby. Mmhm. When I was a baby. Really, Map... not getting sleep is bad for you, you should know that. _**13. **No, I understand. I love him too, with his cute/annoying self~ _Peter Kirkland: H-Hey! I'll settle for cute, but there's nothing annoying about me! I am Peter Llewellyn Kirkland and I will be known as everything but annoying! _Okay. So prideful is what you'd like be known as. Seriously. But you can't blame him, look at his family. XD Wait, Ludwig/Berwald? Oh GOD, they have to have a moment now. I have been inspired. Antonio/Lule WOULD be funny, but Lule's into girls. Mainly because when I turned Sadiq into Lule, the mysterious, suave skirt-chaser didn't change much, i.e. at all. XD. Wait. Are you serious? Nikita and Matilda? Oh geex, that's funny. Although I'm pretty sure Gilbert would NOT agree to that. The Antonio/Elizabeth/Gilbert thing is interesting... I'll have to bring that into play with the past when I dip into some of the character's backgrounds.** 14.** Oh the bitch match between Maiken and Amelia has a reason behind it. Since I'll all but say the reason later on, I'll tell you now: Amelia dated Andersen for a bit. Maiken was crushed by the fact, and during that time period she was actually friends with Jeanette simply because they both had a common enemy. Jeanette and Amelia eventually solved their differences, but Maiken never did, mostly out of fear of losing Andersen to her again. **15.** Well, Ivan's not perfect. I'm bringing out his flaws AND the one that Laima, Eduard and eventually Madara possess – the lack of ability to defend themselves. Ivan has a control over them that even HE doesn't understand, but that's because he loves them, and that's really the only way he knows how to love people. Where he learned that from will be revealed in chapter… 31. Yup. _Chereneko Braginski: I have no say in this, do I?_ _Despite the fact that by releasing the truth you have increased the_ _chance of him returning to cause even more hell by one-hundred thirty_ _percent?_ Holy – I thought it was only one-hundred TWENTY-NINE percent. That's a MASSIVE problem. That almost guarantees his return. Y'know, THIS is why I have Chereneko here, Map. He crunches all the numbers for me. **16.** The comedy returned in chapter 14, actually. But, yeah. XD Comedy~ Oh, SuFin is seriously one of my favorite guilty pleasures. So when I'm not loving crack pairings, it's usually a SuFin shipping. XD If not that, it's UKChu. Because I love me some Arthur and Yao. **17. **I know, Arthur's so full of it. But that's why we - and Jeanette - love him so. Yup, that puzzle was Gilbert! See, I can say that freely since the spellbook fiasco is over. Before I couldn't. Ooh. Normally, I would explain the Arthur/Lovino thing, but with the Tsunderes Unite! arc so close, there's almost no point. Let's just say it's not exactly what you might expect it to be. _Lovino Vargas: You make it sound all damn mysterious, like it's actually someone people give a damn about. Tch. Really, Akane. _That's because it IS significant, silly boy. Lovino just can't comprehend getting all of this attention. :) **18. **[/currently can't respond due to lack of air because of hilarious Get Him To The Greek pun involving Kiku and Hera] _Lule Adnan: [/burst into laughter] Oh, that is so true. Kiku is in LOVE with her, only thing is, she's too busy floating in frickin' cloud nine to care. I swear... if I had any interest, I would take Honda myself. No joke._ **19. **_Arthur Kirkland: You know, that's unhealthly for you to stay awake for so long, really. It'll ruin your normal sleeping patterns, and plus, you won't have enough energy for tomorrow and -_ Okay, mom, chill. He always gets over-protective of people like that. It's ridic. YES! Another conversion! [/dances around] Serious, I love that pairing now, it's crazy. Yup. Aeden is Wales, Aisling is Ireland, Adrian is Scotland and Peter is Sealand! With the soon-to-be addition of Australia, we shall have the Kirkland family! :D I love this family. The Emerald Isle siblings is what I call them. Chances are I'll actually use that name in the series. **20.** Yup. It took a while trying to find the characters for Cupido Aiutanti, because I wanted to make it a small group, yet it be able to cover practically EVERYONE in the series. And look at that, it ended up working. Cupido Aiutanti will be ALL OVER the Tsunderes Unite! arc since two of its members are heavily involved with that arc's feautre pairing. (Go Feli and Adri!) Eh, he gets slightly less creepy, but a bit more demanding and a lot more fragile. Fragility is key in this arc, since the four characters with the most iron-strong wills are tested and pushed. _Amelia F. Jones: One of those is me! But I mean, c'mon. I'm the heroess. My will's as strong as STEEL, baby! Nothing can take me down. (Heheheh, I hope so...). _**21. **Neither am I. Writing Yao acting like that was crazy fun though. You also have to remember who it is that's interogating him. If it had been Matilda instead of Arthur, Yao wouldn't have been so rough. The friendship he has with Arthur is just as hateful as it is loving, and the two of them (since Yao's a bit of a tsundere himself) rarely ever reveal the loving half of their relationship. So, yeah. Welcome to Yao's life. Ohmygod, are you serious? D: Why would you stay up that late? Even I don't stay up that late (except to read HP7). The only other time was to update. XD **22.** Ivan's also in more than one part. I like your logical thinking, it's because I think the same way. Great minds think alike. _Arthur Kirkland: Not exactly. Wang has a great mind, but in case you haven't noticed, we're rarely in the same BOOK let alone the same page... and don't even get me started on Lo - _Oh please, you two had the same mindset, you just don't want to admit it. Besides if you start ranting of Lovino, Jeanette'll strangle you. So I'm just going to save your life right now. _Arthur Kirkland: ... [/rolls eyes]_ He'll thank me later. Oh don't worry, you'll get to learn about the SKELETOOONNNNN~ soon enough. XD **23.** So do I, so I seriously feel your pain here. Well, he can't really help it. Not to make him unaccountable for his actions, but sometimes he really has no say in what he does to other people. Kinda sad really... But that's why the Hacker's here, you'll learn soon enough. Because SOMEONE had to have made him that way. _Thanatos Winter: ... Don't blame this on me, i have nothing to do with any of this! Well, okay, not nothing, but still. I didn't WANT to be here in the FIRST place. _He's mad too... he'll get over it faster than Nik-Nik though. XD

[**Meso the Hanyu**] :: Tch, maybe. My computer was being a dork that day, but I fixed it. So. Yay. Oh, really? 8D Tell your dog I love him too! ^_^ That's so cool. _Hera Karpusi: Everyone wants him to escape… it's_ _perplexing… I certainly don't want him to… you know… live. I think he_ _should die. It's evil of me… but…_

[**Alice Barden**] :: _Ludwig Beilschmidt: Faulty logic is the existence of_ _my brother. Not that. That actually does make quite a bit of sense… of_ _course, I don't know the answer, so I'm going to have to rely on your_ _guess._ Cool guess. I didn't think of that. But you're right – Mattie and Yao have each other (and Ivan, but Ivan's snoozing), Adrian has Amelia (ha.). Cute observation.

[**Readers-Section**] :: There are worse things than death, actually. I'd rather be tortured and die than have to live with that experience. But that's just me. I don't know who else feels that way. _Feliciano Vargas: I agree with you, Akane... I'd never - I couldn't live through that sort of thing either... it'd be too much. _Good logic, it WOULD make a scarier impact. Slightly stereotypical of me to be as terrifying as possible, eh? Nice guess though. :)

[**SuperA n Twch**] :: Sleepiness? More like drunk-off-my-ass-ness, in Amelia's case. XD Silly girl. :) Oh, I know. I heard that from a Quizilla fanfiction with Arthur and Alfred, and I knew I just HAD to use it sometime. And plus, Watson. How much I love him. Yup. How she knew is because one day Arthur came over to wake her up and Adrian called him to ask what he was doing. And Arthur said, "I'll be home later, I'm just going to knock Matilda up first and then we'll see what happens after that." Well, Mattie woke up around that time and she completely panicked, and she ended up kicking him in the face and knocking him off the bed entirely. It definitely took the better part of ten minutes for him to explain what that meant (and that he wasn't some crazed rapist). _Liane Zwingli: Oh! Thank you. :) _Chantal and Renate are actually a couple. Liane thinks they're just friends, and is probably the only one who still believes that. Everyone else knows about it by now, but Chantal never got around to telling Liane, so Renate simply thinks she's just ignorant, when really, she has no idea. _Liane Zwingli: Everyone says he's evil... I don't see it. [/tilts head] I mean, he's just misunderstood. And okay... he is a little odd with how he's obsessed with Ivan... that's creepy... but I mean - he's not a terrible person! _No, the Hacker's Russian, and so is his brother, so no, they don't need Google Translate. As in hacker escaping now and dying later? Why of course there's that option!

[**andthenshesaid**] :: :D [/hugs back] I know, I love Adrian/Amelia! Almost as much as I love Amelia/Ivan (well, okay, so I love Adrian/Amelia more. I need to think of a cute name for them too.) Well, I already made Scotlamerica so... hmm. I'll have to think. But for some reason, Amelia Kirkland has a better ring than Amelia Braginski. Maybe it's because Amelia already sees herself as a Kirkland, just with a different one? I know. He did the exact same thing to Matilda and yet his mind jammed on that one possibility, just like Matilda's did. (said incident is written in the above reply). I don't blame you. My OTP at the moment is actually Sweden/Germany as of... I don't know, a minute ago? So, ah. It's just making Feliks's job more fun. _Feliks Lukasiewicz: Um. Not really. Because with all of your relationship switch-ups, you are seriously throwing my head into this, like, roller-coaster-esque loop. And I'm honestly surprised I have NOT started screaming yet. _... Geez. How many of you are drama queens, again? _Feliks Lukasiewicz: Well, let's see. There's Gilbert, who is , like the WORST drama king in the history of for-ever~! And then there's Jeanette, 'cause she's seriously screwed up in the head a bit, and Lule, 'cause she's an attention whore, and - _Okay. This is going to be a REALLY long list. I just know it. I'd say it's my fault, but they're naturally overdramatic. What can I do about that?

[**Zoos-Who**] :: Vote number... dang it. I lost track. But the hacker escaping option is winning, I know that much. _Nikita Arvolskaya: God knows WHY. Which that person would die... they need to... I'd do it for you if I had any say in this..._ ... He's kinda ticked off at him. MAINLY because of Chapter 26. But, he'll live, don't worry. And chill, Nikita, you can get revenge later. _Nikita Arvolskaya: Ugh! [/flings knife at the wall] I want him dead NOW! _Okay, okay, I'll get there eventually. (now you see why I don't bring Nikita up that much...) ^_^

[**Demigod1315**] :: Nikita, Nikita - he's just an attraction for trouble, isn't he? It did? Good, the more hints you have, the easier the sitution gets... for you and you only. XD _Chereneko Braginski: For her and her only? ... D-Do I really want to know how screwed up this is, or no? _No, you don't want to know, Cher-bear. Yes! More hacker escaping! I'm rooting for him to escape now, it's weird. Before I was itching to kill the prick. Nice job, you all, you convinced me otherwise.

[**TJ Amorette**] :: Ah, thank you! Since he wasn't official, I didn't have much to go on, but... :D I'm glad you like him. He's awesome. [/hugs Adrian] Well, when I first read that I spazzed out over it too. I seriously thought what he was saying was the American meaning, but turns out it wasn't - with made the fanfiction that much more fun. I love mistaken statements. XD Do they seriously call you that? O_O It's the opposite for me... I'm the innocent one. (Ironic, kinda - that shows you how horrible my friends are) And hey, France isn't a TOTAL pervert. He hasn't invaded anyone's bed yet in the middle of the night UNLIKE a certain adorable Italiano~ :) Jeanette's blond, actually, but it has a coppery undertone to it (because I found this really picture on HetaQuest that was almost exactly like Jeanette. I forgot, but I rant about it on some chapter. It's the reverse of Aisling's hair, I remember. Wow. People who have thrown out that theory never really supported it, but that is SWEET. Nikita WOULD try to terrorize Ivan into loving him. Only thing is... it's not him. Just - GEEZ, that's a good idea. I am so tempted to try something like that sometime in the future...

* * *

**session twenty-five** :: my best theory [_jimmy eats world_]

- monday, august 31st

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: The Devil

**conclusion** :: the theme was innocence. the best clue for this was in liane talking about chantal and renate's relationship. gilbert had described her as being cute and innocent, while renate had said she was naive and innocent. **  
**

**question** :: _what is the hacker's secret message?_

**hint** :: you will now learn something that chereneko, kiku, yao and arthur don't know: the code is the one yao suggested, but **reversed**. so that means, the number 26 doesn't stand for Z, it means A. 25 means B, not Y, 24 means C, not X and etc. so, armed with this new information four days ahead of them, do you think you can solve it?

* * *

**(Mobile) Ivan Braginski**: Da, I am here~! What's the commotion for, Yao-Yao?

**(Mobile) Yao Wang**: A note.

**Ivan Braginski**: ... Is this necessary?

**Yao Wang**: YES! The note had a drawing of the Devil tarot card on the back of it!

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: More tarot cards...

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Someone's a TAD obsessed.

**Ivan Braginski**: Hmm~ Just a little bit...

**Antonio Carriedo**: But really. Who would do this?

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Someone with a grudge.

**(Mobile) Kiku Honda**: Arthur-san, did you not hear the message that was written on this note?

**Arthur Kirkland**: I did.

**Kiku Honda**: That's not the message of someone with just a grudge.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Oh boy... where have I heard THAT before...

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: So that means it's a ghost?

**Arthur Kirkland**: You better hide Jeanette, Autumn's after you again. :)

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, look who has developed a sense of humor. ;)

**Ivan Braginski**: Yao, whoever it is won't get you. I assure you, da? You'll be okay. ^^

**(Mobile) Madara Galante**: I did see something odd though...

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, you're so observant, Dara~ What did you see?

**Madara Galante**: A person. No one I knew either, but it was only for a moment, so I can't be completely sure...

**(Mobile) Eduard von Bock**: You mean the stranger lingering in the vicinity of Yao's locker, yes, I saw him too.

**Madara Galante**: You did? So, I - I'm not hallucinating or anything?

**(Mobile) Laima Lauriniatis**: This is weird... who could that be?

**Ivan Braginski**: Whoever it is wants to hurt my Yao-Yao. And that will not happen.

**(Mobile) Nikita Arvolskaya**: No it won't. Not if I have any say.

* * *

**(Mobile) Nikita Arvolskaya**: How are we supposed to catch a killer when you don't even know how the victim died?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Use math equations.

**(Mobile) Laima Lauriniatis**: ._.?

**(Mobile) Ivan Braginski**: A cute emoticon for a very cute Lithuanian~!

[**Eduard von Bock **_and _**4** _others likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: What? It works for NUMB3RS!

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: But we're not in the FBI. Or mathemiticans.

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: Well, this is also just a guess but - she probably drowned.

[**Renate Edelstein** _and _**12 **_others like this_]

**Renate Edelstein**: I'm not even going to respond to that, Chantal...

**Chantal Zwingli**: Someone had to say it.

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: She either drowned - or was drowned.

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones**: Like Autumn...

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Because it must always go back to the Bonnefoy House...

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Big brother's mother could swim though.

**Amelia F. Jones**: So someone did it on purpose.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: To get rid of her?

**Eduard von Bock**: It may be as simple as a vendetta...

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Or someone found her as a threat?

[**Nikita Arvolskaya** _likes this_]

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Laima. Explain that.

**Laima Laurinaitis**: H-Huh?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: What do you mean.

**Laima Laurinaitis**: Someone could have thought she was threat to something... m-maybe something that this person wanted?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Like love.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesesese~ You're onto something, aren't you?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: ... That something is right in front of me.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ?

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Laima. Puh-LEASE remind me again WHAT you see in him.

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt **_and _**20 **_others like this_]

**Laima Laurinatis**: ...

* * *

**(Mobile) Nikita Arvolskaya **_is now friends with _**Thanatos Winter**.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Who the hell is THAT?

**(Mobile) Elizabeta Hedervary**: Another Winter? If you know what's good for you, Nikita, you'd de-friend that bastard within the next THREE seconds!

[**Nikita Arvolskaya **_likes this_]

* * *

**Elizabeta Hedervary** _is now friends with _**Nikita Arvolskaya**.

**Renate Edelstein**: ... Are you seriously that lonely? If so, I will try to alleviate that as soon as possible.

[**Elizabeta Hedervary **_likes this_]

**Chantal Zwingli**: [/is repeatedly jamming the invisible dislike button]

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt **_and _**14** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Nikita Arvolskaya** || **Thanatos Winter**: Peek-a-boo. I see you.

**Thanatos Winter**: What the -?

**Thanatos Winter**: Damn. What do YOU want?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: How's your brother?

**Thanatos Winter**: My brother? Ha. Since when you did grow a heart and care?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Because. Underneath the surface, I've discovered an ugly secret. And if I'm not mistaken, he knows how it got there.

**Thanatos Winter**: I have no idea what you're TALKING about, you raving pyscho.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: You might as well, Thanatos. You're on thin ice already, which he knows is a bad place to be, and you might as well tell me now, because I can see how you're drowning in your guilt.

**Thanatos Winter**: My guilt? I didn't DO anything!

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Just shut up and stand still so I can kill you.

**Thanatos Winter**: You FUCKING PSYCHO!

* * *

**Ivan Braginski **|| **(Mobile) Thanatos Winter**: How does he know?

**Thanatos Winter**: I have no clue, Genesis, what did you do?

**Ivan Braginski**: ... Let me think this over. Just shut up Than, let me think.

**Thanatos Winter**: Ugh.

**Ivan Braginski**: Damn. I messed up.

**Thanatos Winter**: GENESIS! And now he's coming after ME for it!

**Thanatos Winter**: WHAT DID YOU DO?

**Ivan Braginski**: I tried to drown him... Nikita... when we were younger. I told him it was fun. And damn, he connected it.

**Thanatos Winter**: SO THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

**Ivan Braginski**: What are you, scared of him?

**Thanatos Winter**: ... I. Hate. You. You know I'm scared of him, you selfish TWIT!

**Ivan Braginski**: Of course I know. Let me think again.

**Ivan Braginski**: Than. You're going to have to cover me.

**Thanatos Winter**: Why?

**Ivan Braginski**: I have to get rid of him.

**Thanatos Winter**: What, now?

**Ivan Braginski**: Of course not NOW. But soon. As soon as I possibly can.

**Ivan Braginski**: But first, let me throw off Yao and them one more time.

* * *

**Ivan Braginski **|| **Yao Wang**: Wang Yao. Let's play a game.

**Yao Wang**: It's you...

**Ivan Braginski**: The equal signs are spaces. Each of the numbers, separated by dashes represent a letter. Are you ready to play?

**Yao Wang**: Why do I have to?

**Ivan Braginski**: If you don't, you won't save him.

**Yao Wang**: ... Okay. I'll play.

**Ivan Braginski**: Here's the clue.

**Ivan Braginski**: 13-18-16-18-7-26 = 19-26-8 = 6-13-7-18-15 = 8-22-11-7-11-14-25-22-9 = 7-19-18-9-23.

**Ivan Braginski**: Enjoy.

**Yao Wang**: ... AIYAH! You expect me to UNDERSTAND that trash?

* * *

**(Mobile) Kiku Honda**: So this person sent you a code, is that right Yao?

**Yao Wang**: Yes! And if I don't solve it, there's someone I won't be able to save. That's the message I received.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I've never seen anything like this... I'm so lost...

**Yao Wang**: What if... it's like that code where A is 1, B is 2, C is 3...

**Chereneko Braginski**: That can't be it. E is the most common letter in the alphabet, and it's almost impossible to avoid. And there's no fives.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Let's try it. If someone's life is at risk, I'd rather not take the chance.

**Arthur Kirkland**: MRPRGZ SZH FMGRO HVKGKNYVI GSRIW.

**Chereneko Braginski**: Yeah, that's not it.

**Kiku Honda**: We're going to have to do some research on codes.

**Yao Wang**: But Ivan can't find out. I don't want to concern him.

**Chereneko Braginski**: It better not be my brother. It CAN'T be my brother. I can't take this any more...

**Yao Wang**: It won't be. I promise.

* * *

**Ivan Braginski**: Chereneko~ What are you hiding from me?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Ivan~ It's none of your business~

**Ivan Braginski**: Yes it is. He is my brother. Therefore, it is my business.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Voyeur, Braginski. You're being one.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, Ameochka, you hurt me so~ :(

[**Adrian Kirkland** _and _**6** _others likes this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: XD Ameochka. Oh~ I am SO calling her that from now on.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Look, Braginski, Chereneko just wants you to be careful, alright?

**Iv****an Braginski**: Oh really?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yes! This Hacker guy seems like a nut!

**Amelia F. Jones**: I mean more nutty than your usual brand of nuttiness.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Which means he has to be seriously fucked up.

**Ivan Braginski**: I am not liking what you're writing Amelia~

**Amelia F. Jones**: Really. We have no clue what this guy's up to.

**Ivan Braginski**: If Nikita is right at all, I might know who it is...

**Amelia F. Jones**: That doesn't mean you're any safer!

**Ivan Braginski**: ^^ Are you worried about me, Ameochka? :)

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yeah... But only because some pyscho's after you!

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _likes this_]

**Ivan Braginski**: Aw~ Amelia~ =3

**Ivan Braginski**: I love you too.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**7** _others like this_]

**Amelia F. Jones**: Whoa, whoa, whoa - slow down a second there yet. I never said anything about THAT.

**Ivan Braginski**: Yet. ;)

**Amelia F. Jones**: Tch. Don't get your hopes up, comrade. ;)

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy** _likes this_]

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Which means you might as well have her now. ;)

* * *

**Lule Adnan** || **Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Jeanette. You sneak. XD

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I can't help it. I am NOT going to lose to her.

**Lule Adnan**: Lose what?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Arthur, mon amie. :) Just because things are a little chaotic doesn't mean I still can't play MY game.

* * *

**special agent akane**: Wow. Only ONE vote to kill the hacker? That's hilarious, considering that before I let you guys pick I was going to kill him. I'm laughing on the inside. ^_^

**special agent akane**: So you guys had me thinking a little bit. Playing with some ideas on the hacker's return and some of his future stunts. One stunt I have an idea for involves Jeanette, but in order for you to understand the magnitude of the pain she feels from this, I have to find someway to introduce that part of Jean's history to you and explain it. But not during the Tsunderes Unite! arc. Because several of Jeanette's antics revolve around this part in her past. But I'll be delving into the histories of different characters lives eventually. I already started Jeanette's and Ivan's in depth viewing, did I not?

**special agent akane**: OH. The Bad Touch arc. Done. Jeanette's chapter will revolve around that event. ^_^ Yay! I forgot about that! Also while I'm at it, I'll explain another, slightly twisted side of the Bad Touch Trio's relationship. So be prepared for that, okay? Also, whenever the Hacker DOES return, he needs to connect with someone in order to reappear, in other words: the Hacker finds himself a new online relationship with one of the APH members. Only thing is, I can't exactly choose WHICH member. So the three I'm contemplating are: **Laima Lauriniatis**, **Yong-Soo Im**, and **Elizabeta Hedervary**. These three people will be revalent to the storyline anyway, but you get to decide how involved they get. Savvy?

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]


	26. lights out

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

* * *

**session twenty-six** :: lights out [_breaking behjamin_]

- thursday, september 3rd

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: NIKITA HAS UNTIL SEPTEMBER THIRD

**conclusion** :: It actually was harder to make than it is to solve. So why it takes them four days is beyond me. :)**  
**

**question** :: _who is the hacker after now?  
_

**hint** :: There are actually TWO clues. One of the clues is, obviously, the message that Thanatos leaves is one. The other clue is... well, if I TOLD you it would be far too easy, now wouldn't it? Got keep the surprise up, now don't I?

* * *

**(Mobile) Chereneko Braginski**: I GOT IT.

**Yao Wang**: What? What?

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Do you have the code?

**Chereneko Braginski**: Yes.

**(Mobile) Kiku Honda**: H-How did you do it?

**Chereneko Braginski**: I didn't do it, Eduard did. :)

**Kiku Honda**: Lovely. Tell us, please, what the message is.

**Chereneko Braginski**: Nikita has until September Third.

**Yao Wang**: ... That's the MESSAGE?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Wait. What's the date?

**Kiku Honda**: September 3rd.

**Chereneko Braginski**: I tried to warn him, but he said that "he'd be stupid to try anything".

**Yao Wang**: What does he know that we don't?

**Chereneko Braginski**: A lot, I think...

* * *

**Liane Zwingli** || **Nikita Arvolskaya**: You're not worried?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Why should I be?

**Liane Zwingli**: You didn't hear?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: I did. But I'm not worried. If he tries anything, all I have to do is say... 4 words? And he's as good as dead?

**Liane Zwingli**: Will it work?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Of course it will. Why are you so worried?

**Liane Zwingli**: Because... I don't want you to get hurt...

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: That's so... How sweet of you, to be so concerned.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Don't worry. You don't need to be.

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt** || **Chereneko Braginski**: Are you serious.

**Chereneko Braginski**: I'm as serious as a hydrogen bomb.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I thought it was as serious as a heart attack...

**Chereneko Braginski**: I'd take an infinite amount of heart attacks over nuclear radiation any day.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Good point.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: But really... who is this hacker person and why are they after Nikita?

**Chereneko Braginski**: I don't know. It might have something to do with our mother's death, but Nikita's our stepbrother. He has nothing to do with it.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Odd.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** || **Nikita Arvolskaya**: Hey, hey, hey~ You home?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Yeah. Ivan's hanging out with Amelia, Chereneko's at a Student Government meeting...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Braginski and Jones? Like, yeah, THAT'S believable.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Seriously.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: And the world falls apart.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Hn. Like anything's happening between them.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I have my sources that say otherwise.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: What sources? I don't believe you.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: How about Matilda Williams, who, FYI, LIVES with Amelia and therefore knows these things?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: I don't even know who that is.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: How do you NOT know her? She's, like, INSANELY frickin' cute.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh, right, I forgot. You're Ivan-sexual.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Hn~ nothing wrong with that.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Feh. You REALLY need to get laid. And by someone who's NOT Braginski.

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Whatever, whatever.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Hey, Adrian's free. ;) Or Liane. ;)

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Haha. [opkloljl;';\

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Is this another code or something?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Um... Nikita?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Did you seriously leave? You can't leave the awesome me hanging like that!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... Okay, now I'm not amused.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: NIKITA. Where did you go?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... Nikita?

* * *

**Nikita Arvolskaya **||** Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Hello. Your precious Nikita can't come to the computer right now. Please leave a message after the tone.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You're not Nikita, are you. Who the HELL are you?

**Nikita Arvolskaya**: Thank you for calling Gilbert, and good night.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... What did you DO?

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones**: Is SEVERELY freaking out over Gilbert. DX

**Arthur Kirkland**: Why?

**Amelia F. Jones**: He's all jittery and shaky when he was talking to me over the phone and he keeps stuttering and talking with numbers...

**(Mobile) Yao Wang**: Numbers... really?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yes!

**Chereneko Braginski**: Tell me the numbers, Amelia, if you remember them.

**Amelia F. Jones**: He made me write them down, so I have them.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Um... he said 13, 18, 16, 18, 7, 26 then he made me stop.

**Chereneko Braginski**: Wait a second. 13 18 16 18 7 26. That's Nikita's name.

**Yao Wang**: In the code that the Hacker gave us?

**Chereneko Braginski**: That's it.

**Chereneko Braginski**: Amelia! Can you send me the rest of it?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Sure.

* * *

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Amelia, where's my brother?

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones**: With me. :)

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Ja... because I feel so much better hearing THAT.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Chereneko Braginski**: It's okay Ludwig, he's with me as well. He's trying to find Nikita.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Oh... Just make sure he doesn't hurt himself.

**Chereneko Braginski**: ... He likes to do that whenever he's having his episodes, doesn't he?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: I don't understand why, but yes.

**Chereneko Braginski**: It's a standard symptom.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Just... please, keep him safe, Chereneko.

**Chereneko Braginski**: Yeah. Of course I'll do that. ^^

**Amelia F. Jones**: Cher! He thinks he found him!

**Chereneko Braginski**: Where?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Ivan's room!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: I still don't understand how he does that either...

**Chereneko Braginski**: And you say your brother's not a genius. ^^

* * *

**(Mobile) Ivan Braginski **|| **Thanatos Winter**: Than. It's done. I think.

**Thanatos Winter**: You THINK?

**Ivan Braginski**: I don't think I killed him though.

**Thanatos Winter**: UGH. GENESIS.

**Ivan Braginski**: Than, listen to me. I need you to send this message to Nikita's phone while they're all in there, okay?

**Thanatos Winter**: Only if it kills him.

**Ivan Braginski**: I'm not going to kill him, Thanatos.

**Thanatos Winter**: Why the hell not?

**Ivan Braginski**: Someone else is going to do that for me. And I already have my target picked out.

**Thanatos Winter**: Why don't you just do it yourself?

**Ivan Braginski**: Because I'm fitting in with her culture by being lazy. Now do as you're told, silly. :)

**Thanatos Winter**: 'Kay.

* * *

**Thanatos Winter** || **(Mobile) Nikita Arvolskaya**: Roses are black, lilies are white; on the 21-12-5-9-7-19 of september, 26-14-22-9-18-24-26 will disappear from sight.

* * *

**(Mobile) Chereneko Braginski**: We found Nikita.

[**Yao Wang** _and _**11 **_others like this_]

**Laima Lauriniatis**: Ch-Chereneko... D-Don't tell me he's dead, Chereneko... please don't.

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones**: He's not dead. But the Hacker did a number on him.

**Kiku Honda**: How bad, Ame-chan?

**Amelia F. Jones**: It LOOKS like mostly surface wounds - but then there's a couple others that aren't so surface-y.

**Amelia F. Jones**: It might have been one of those torture/ritual type-things. Where you drag it out as long as you can to inflict as much pain as possible. Only thing is, the victim usually dies at the end so why he left him alive is a puzzle.

**Chereneko Braginski**: It's far more emotionally damanging to leave the person alive than to kill them.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Ick.

**Xiang Wang**: Seriously. How, like, fucking sicker can you get?

**Yao Wang**: Damn! Damn it, how did we make that mistake?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Don't beat yourself up, Yao, it's not like this could be prevented.

**Yao Wang**: Yes it could have!

**(Mobile) Eduard von Bock**: No, we're dealing with a professional. This person knows what they're doing.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Find anything significant?

**Amelia F. Jones**: More tarot cards. The Devil was pinned to the mattress with a blade.

**Yao Wang**: Why is it always the Devil, I wonder? It seems to be the card that Ivan and I DIDN'T dream about that one night that is the most revalent.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _likes this_]

**Xiang Wang**: That's what was bothering you? Yao! You could have just, SAID that.

**Yao Wang**: ...

**(Mobile) Madara Galante**: They left a knife?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Looks like the same one used on Nikita.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: U-U-Used?

**Yao Wang**: He LEFT the weapon AT the crime scene?

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Idiot. :)

**Eduard von Bock**: If he left the weapon at the crime scene, we're probably not going to find anything on it.

**Eduard von Bock**: This entire thing was planned out, even the littlest detail. In fact, I'm sure that he wanted to leave him alive.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: J-Just tell me how he is... please... Amelia...

**Amelia F. Jones**: There's knife marks on him, mostly on his stomach, his sides, his chest. There's one on his cheek, a gash on his leg, and then on his left side... are stars. Stars with lines through them.

**Amelia F. Jones**: The majority of the cuts are minor, but there's one under his ribs that was bleeding like crazy. And a couple others. It's okay, though... he'll be okay.

**Laima Lauriniatis**: ... Okay.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Now don't go all emo on me, Laima!

[**Eduard von Bock **_and _**8 **_others like this_]

**Kiku Honda**: Wait. What was that symbol on Nikita?

**Chereneko Braginski**: Stars with stripes through them.

**Kiku Honda**: ... Oh.

**Yao Wang**: Oh what?

* * *

**Yao Wang **|| **Kiku Honda**: Oh what, Honda?

**Kiku Honda**: It... It is nothing Yao-sama.

**Yao Wang**: That's BS. Tell me what's wrong, Kiku.

**Kiku Honda**: Why should I? You never mentioned your dream to us! And we were - and still are - concerned from your safety, Yao-kun!

**Yao Wang**: I didn't want to worry you, or Mei, or Xiang, or Yong-Soo. I just... didn't. I thought it meant nothing.

**Kiku Honda**: I just have a bad feeling I already know who the target is, that is all...

**Yao Wang**: Just sleep and we'll deal with it in the morning, Juwan.

**Kiku Honda**: Alright... Oyasumi, Yao.

**Yao Wang**: Oyasumi, Juwan. Suu iitodoriimu. :)

* * *

**Ivan Braginski** || **Yao Wang**: Suu iitodoriimu, Wang Yao.

**Ivan Braginski**: ;)

* * *

**special agent akane**: Aloha! Welcome to the Author's Note! Today's very special guest is... Thanatos Winter! What's up with you, Than?

**Thanatos Winter**: Um. Nothing much... ^_^;

**special agent akane**: So. This arc has 6 more chapters to go. And considering that I have ALL of the chapters up to 34 written out already, that's going to be nothing. It'll fly by at super-sonic-speeds. Unfortunately, that means I don't get to spend as much quality time with THIS guy. [/hugs Thanatos]

**Thanatos Winter**: I might actually miss you all...

**special agent akane**: Well, I'll miss you. I like writing for semi-crazy characters.

**Thanatos Winter**: And the fully crazy?

**special agent akane**: I love that all the more. ;)

[**special agent akane** _and _**1** _other has logged off_]


	27. paralyzer

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

* * *

**session twenty-seven** :: paralyzer [_finger eleven_]

- friday, september 4th

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: Amelia F. Jones

**conclusion** :: Using the code, the message is: Roses are black, lilies are white, on the FOURTH of September, AMERICA will disappear from sight. America, naturally, stands for Amelia. Also, the stars and stripes represent Old Glory, which is the American flag. **  
**

**question** :: _who is it that amelia must kill?  
_

**hint** :: The clue is in Amelia's statement, and ALSO in Eduard's description of her behavior once she returns. I'm sure you can piece it together rather quickly, darlings. :)

* * *

**Kiku Honda** || **(Mobile) Yao Wang**: Yao-sama!

**Kiku Honda**: I have the answer!

**Yao Wang**: To the puzzle?

**Kiku Honda**: Hai. There are two parts... the first is the message. It says: Roses are black, lilies are white, on the FOURTH of September, AMERICA will disappear from sight.

**Yao Wang**: America again... the second part, Kiku?

**Kiku Honda**: The stars traced on Nikita's side... with the lines through them. Stars and stripes. As in Old Glory, the American flag.

**Yao Wang**: Kiku... K-Kiku! Who's the only American in APH and has any relation with Ivan Braginski?

**Kiku Honda**: Who is Amelia Jones?

**Yao Wang**: 500 points for you.

**Kiku Honda**: Tell Matilda to make sure she doesn't leave, Yao-sama, hurry!

**Yao Wang**: Kiku, thank you. I can't thank you enough.

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Yao Wang** || **Matilda Williams**: Matilda? Are you awake?

**Matilda Williams**: Kinda...

**Yao Wang**: Where's Amelia?

**Matilda Williams**: She just left... she's swinging by Tony's Cafe to grab breakfast and then walking to school like she does on Fridays... she always leaves early so she can make it to school.

**Yao Wang**: No! Tell her to come back.

**Matilda Williams**: Wha... why?

**Yao Wang**: You heard what happened to Nikita right? If Amelia doesn't come back, the same thing might happen to her.

**Matilda Williams**: ... Why me...

* * *

**(Mobile) Im Yong-Soo**: URGENT MESSAGE.

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: What?

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: Is this more Ivan-related stuff?

**Im Yong-Soo**: Probably. Yao said keep an eye for Amelia!

**(Mobile) Lule Adnan**: You mean Amelia Jones, right?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Who else would he mean, Lule?

[**Adrian Kirkland** _likes this_]

**Lule Adnan**: As in the Amelia Jones who is NOT in first period?

[**Hera Karpusi **_and _**2** _others like this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: Not in first - damn.

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Feliciano Vargas** || **Lovino Vargas**: Fratello~ why is everyone so on edge...?

**Lovino Vargas**: Because supposedly Amelia's gone missing. Pay attention for once, goddamnit, will you?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Amelia?

**Lovino Vargas**: SI. You fucking airhead...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Uwah~! Why are you so mean to me, Lovi?

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Sigh. Feliciano...

**Feliciano Vargas**: But - But - But... veh?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Lovino! My computer screen... a news notice just came up!

**Lovino Vargas**: Tch. Does it really look like I care?

**Feliciano Vargas**: B-B-But fratello! It's about Amelia, though~!

**Lovino Vargas**: Mkay. Now I care.

**Feliciano Vargas**: But I thought you didn't like Amelia, fratello~

**Lovino Vargas**: It's for Arthur's sake. -_-

**Feliciano Vargas**: XD

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I am SO confused, mein Gott. And confusion is NOT awesome. Someone explain this all to me!

[**Tino Väinämöinen** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Elizabeta Hedervary**: You're telling me... I left for five minutes to go to the library and pandemonium occurs!

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: Welcome to high school.

[**Elizabeta Hedervary** _and_ **20 **_others like this_]

**(Mobile) Im Yong-Soo**: Can't say it any better than that! :)

**Chantal Zwingli**: I try.

**(Mobile) Renate Edelstein**: Supposedly this has to deal with Amelia?

**(Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Feliciano found a news story.

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: She's not DEAD, is she?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: No. But seven other people are.

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: Wha...?

**(Mobile) Tino Väinämöinen**: Oh my God! What happened, Ludwig?

[**Berwald Oxenstierna **_likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ^ Again?

**Tino Väinämöinen**: :)

**Chantal Zwingli**: Well, according to said news story, Amelia was walking down Sirius Road and some stranger came up behind her. No one really noticed the stranger following her until they drew a knife. Someone tried to grab the knife, but he pinned Amelia against the wall and stabbed them, and then anyone else who trie to help. Then he asked Amelia is she was Amelia Felicity Jones, she said yes, and he grabbed her arm and walked away with her.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Our police force is terrible. o_o

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _and _**13** _others like this_]

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: By the time they got there, there was nothing but bodies and witnesses.

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Poor Amelia...

[**Berwald Oxenstierna **_likes this_]

**Andersen Densen**: This is Maiken's fault. You probably used some ancient Viking magic to curse her, didn't you?

[**Arthur Kirkland **_and _**14** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Maiken Bondevik**: If I was creative enough to think of something like that, I would have.

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... Where'd Honda go?

**(Mobile) Hera Karpusi**: Mei's with him. He started hyperventilating once he heard about Amelia... he thought she died, poor thing...

**Tino Väinämöinen**: Ivan panicked too... he's still holding onto Madara and rocking back and forth...

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: Why MADARA of all people? I THOUGHT that's what he had LAIMA for!

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz **_and _**7** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Kesesese~! That is the BEST kidnapping I've ever heard of. So - frickin - sweet. Adrian! We have to master that!

[**Adrian Kirkland **_likes this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Well, without the killing people of course. How un-awesome is that.

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: Maybe we can ask. ^^

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Perfect. XD

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... I can't believe you two.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: I can't believe you're surprised.

[**Renate Edelstein **_and _**22 **_others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Mina van der Meer**: Hey. Everyone's looking for Amelia, right?

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Mina. You found her didn't you.

**Mina ven der Meer**: She just waltzed into fifth period.

[**Adrian Kirkland** _and _**28** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Maiken Bondevik**: Told you I didn't do it, jerk.

[**Brynja Stilesson** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Brynja Stilesson**: Stop accusing my fiance of stuff. -_-

**(Mobile) Andersen Densen**: Hey! I'm surprised you didn't!

**Andersen Densen**: And oh my God, WHY are you guys still going through with that marriage thing?

**(Mobile) Kiku Honda**: Is she alright, Mina?

**Mina van der Meer**: She was...

**(Mobile) Eduard von Bock**: After class, Nikita and Gilbert dragged her over to talk to her. She seemed fine at first, but then they started to ask questions and she suddenly froze and left the room as quickly as she could.

**Kiku Honda**: That... That is not like her...

**Arthur Kirkland**: What did that freak DO to her?

[**Adrian Kirkland **_likes this_]

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: I'll kill that wanker if he did anything.

**(Mobile) Ivan Braginski**: I don't know... can I try to get it out of her?

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Yeah, Ivan, go ahead. Let's get this mess over with already!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh! Just remembered why I wanted to get on anyway.

* * *

**Mina van der Meer **_and _**2** _others have joined the group _**APH**.

[**Amelia F. Jones **_and _**11** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: Hola Mina~!

**(Mobile) Mina van der Meer**: :) Hola!

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas**: Ne, Gilbert? Who else did you add?

**(Mobile) Hendrik van der Meer**: Me. And the other prick who lives in our house.

**(Mobile) Maximilian van der Meer**: The only prick I see here is YOU.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Welcome to APH, Max! :) I like you already!

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Amelia F. Jones** || **Ivan Braginski**: Ivan. I need to talk to you.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh! I was just about to message you anyway, Ameochka~ what is it?

**Amelia F. Jones**: I met the person who stole your photo albums.

**Ivan Braginski**: ...

**Ivan Braginski**: Is this the same person who hacked into my account?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yes.

**Ivan Braginski**: Odd. Okay, Ameochka, what did he say to you? Why are you so upset?

**Amelia F. Jones**: What? No, I'm not UPSET. Please.

**Ivan Braginski**: ... Jones, it is not in your best interest to lie to me~

**Amelia F. Jones**: Fine! I'm lying. I am really upset because the guy wants to me to fucking KILL someone!

**Ivan Braginski**: O_O?

**Ivan Braginski**: Is it me?

**Amelia F. Jones**: No. It's not you.

**Ivan Braginski**: Who is it, Ameochka?

**Amelia F. Jones**: I have to have it done in 39 hours. If not, he says not only will HE lose someone he cares about, so will I.

**Amelia F. Jones**: And then Yao told me some guy was stalking him and Mattie? God, no, what if he tries to get Mattie?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Or Andersen. Or Gilbert. Or Arthur. Or even Adrian!

**Ivan Braginski**: Who is this person Amelia? We should report them to the police...

**Amelia F. Jones**: I CAN'T. If I do, he told me that he would pay any expense to make sure every person I ever cared for is dead.

**Amelia F. Jones**: This being the same person who just killed SEVEN people, I'm kinda scared.

**Ivan Braginski**: I wonder what it is this person wants~ They're devilish.

**Ivan Braginski**: In all seriousness though! Ameochka, we need a plan. But~ first tell me who it is you need to kill.

**Ivan Braginski**: Maybe I could even help you~? :D

**Amelia F. Jones**: It's someone near you, but someone you don't want to be near you.

**Amelia F. Jones**: His words, not mine.

**Ivan Braginski**: ... Nyet. You CANNOT be saying who I think you're saying...

**Amelia F. Jones**: I am, Braginski.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, no, now THIS is a bad situation... :(

* * *

**special agent akane**: I don't know why I decided to introduce them in THIS arc, but I did. So, you now have the official meeting of the van der Meer family: **Wilhelmina "Mina" van der Meer** (a.k.a. Belguim), **Hendrik van der Meer** (a.k.a. Netherlands/Holland) and **Maximilian van der Meer** (a.k.a. Luxembourg). Max is an OC, so he won't have such a big role as Mina and Hendrik, but yeah. Next introduced character is actually NOT going to be Australia, though. Australia will come around for the Around The World in Seven Days arc. The next two characters you meet will be Fem!Cuba and Fem!Portugal. Portugal, like Wales, Ireland, the Bonnefoys (I mean the dead ones), the Hacker, and Thanatos are specialty characters and only appear in certain arcs. Fem!Cuba, however, will become a part of the APH community.

**special agent akane**: Also, specialty characters won't appear on the character directory, but eventually I may do a little story using ALL of the characters.

**Maximilian van der Meer**: Whenever Akane stops being lazy, sure.

**special agent akane**: I'm not LAZY. I'm a procrastinator! And PLUS, I have been arc-planning! My mind has been on constant alert!

**Maximilian van der Meer**: Whatever, Akane~ ;)

**special agent akane**: Whatever back. So. you all, thanks for being so patient with me, I love you all. Seriously. And Maxy loves you too, but he's just too much of a prick to acknowledge it.

**Maximilian van der Meer**: -_-

**special agent akane**: Adios, loves. XD

[**special agent akane **_and _**1** _other has logged off_]


	28. misery business

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

This is a DOUBLE update. Why? Because of what's going on under this. That's going to take some time. Also, after chapter 32, I'm probably start reviewing via PM to you all. But I'll still review of course. XD Don't think I won't!

Is currently fixing several chapters, and has also updated the character directory by changing Nikita's last name from Arvolskaya to Arvolski. Since Russians have two different forms of surnames, Arvolski is the masculine form. Thanks Cynthia888 for telling me. It also took me this long to realize that all of the Asians names are in Western Order EXCEPT for Yong-Soo's. I also added Maximilian van der Meer to the character directory.

And 300 reviews. I love you SO, SO much. More than Nikita loves Ivan.

* * *

[**Alice Barden**] :: Triple the trouble, my friend, triple the trouble. Remember, that's not Ivan. The Hacker tried to drown Nikita whenever they were younger, and Nikita has pieced THAT drowning together with another. In order to prevent a certain Arvolski from spilling something he doesn't want revealed, the Hacker has to go to some drastic measures. And OOH. I love the way you all think. It's amazing. ;) Remember, Ivan's not completely evil, because I hate when he's portrayed like that. However, he didn't just end up the way he is overnight. Yes, it is Amelia (poor girl) and I guess I do have a habit of surprising you. But no, these last couple have actually been kinda obvious now that I think about it._Peter Kirkland: I still don't get any of it. Why mess with IVAN BRAGINSKI of all people? Is this guy suicidal or something?  
_

[**iflip4dolphins**] :: [/giggles] I see you're happy. :) Temporary insanity affects us all, I'm not going to judge you because of it. Yes it is. XD Mattie does the same thing in this chapter. They are SO getting together, the two of them. However, I may add a little twist for them too, only thing is - I don't know exactly who will cause that twist yet. _Thanatos Winter: I'm not sure how this is going to end either. I never know anything.[/laughs] Only what he tells me. I just kinda... go along with it._ Oh yeah. There's Amelia/Ivan all over this thing. You will be seeing a lot of Ivan pairings, actually. I think I've already done or hinted at: Ivan/Madara, Ivan/Yao, Ivan/Laima, Ivan/Matilda, and Ivan/Amelia. I haven't even started with Ivan/Feliks, which is going to be one of the secondary pairings of the Tsunderes Unite! arc. Ameochka? Yup. :) I was merely looking through common Russian names for girls (since that's where Ivan gets his nicknames from - like Laitiana comes from the name Tatiana) and I found... well... shoot. I forgot the name EXACTLY and am too lazy right now to look for it. But yeah. Itseems like a nickname he'd give, so it's hers. It adds to the immersion factor, since people tend to get dragged up into all the craziness he brings. Haha, ghosts and FrUk and Italians. Trust me, we WILL be getting to Italians and FrUk - ghosts too, 'cause in the Tsunderes Unites arc, Jeanette finds something that brings back her interest in finishing their story. Jeanette's starting to hit her limit. Some of these people will snap over something, and Jeanette will probably be first. She just wants to get with Arthur already, she wants this thing with the Bonnefoy House to end, she wants Amelia to leave her alone (that, will be explained later). None of that's happening. PLUS, Jeanette feels horribly responsible for something that happens later on, which affects her even more. That's kind of funny, that Jeanette might reach her breaking point before Ivan or Nikita or Madara would. LOL. Go post for it! I'm waiting!

[**Meso Is Hanyu**] :: **25. **Korea is love, or to put it correctly, "Love was invented in Korea, believe it!" XD He's your wallpaper? Lucky! Although mine would probably be Spain. Or Sebastian Michaels. That's hilarious. I myself don't have a dog, but Matilda has Kumajirou, who looks suspisciously like a polar bear. _Matilda Williams: He doesn't even know who I am... but he recognizes almost anyone else jut fine, especially Hendrik. Kumakira loves Hendrik; he'll follow him everywhere. _Maybe that's because of the "Matilda" effect - which is when you see something perfectly clearly yet everyone else doesn't see it and thinks you're hallucinating. See also, "schizophrenia." You have a Yorkshire terrier named Artie. [/tackles hugs] I love you and your amazing pets. All you need is a cat named Gino. (Which is the name of Feliciano's cat.) I wish I had a dog. A Siberian Husky is the dog I want. They're beautiful. **27. **Oh, you have a female Luxembourg? I made two female Luxes - the first named Liese Seyler and the second Astrid Mathey. From a combination of Astrid and Liese (Liese was more German than Astrid; Astrid took after her papa France.) I created Max. Oh, you did a drawing? Sweet! I didn't draw the picture of Lux I have as my profile picture, but I still love it to pieces.

[**Meh**] :: Someone was bored? XD That's probably the most random username I've ever seen. Hmm, good guess. Very good in fact. And I think you mean "he"? Nikita is a male's name. _Nikita Arvolski: It may not sound like it, but it is. I don't care too much about it. However. I am male._

[**Cynthia888**] :: **1. **You did? Good. ^^ That's the response we want you to have! _Chantal Zwingli: Great. Another person who finds our life "funny". Like any of this shit is entertaining. _XD Chan-chan really doesn't care that much. Do you Chan-chan? _Chantal Zwingli: NO. And STOP. CALLING. ME. THAT. _(I better stop before she shoots me. D:) **3. **Yup. XD Ivan's not the only one who plays Mafia Wars. So does Chantal (occasionally), Ludwig, Feliciano, Lovino, Amelia, and Yong-Soo. XD _Yong-Soo Im: Don't judge. It's fun, da ze! And plus I can usually beat Amelia in a boss fight any day!_ Usually? _Yong-Soo Im: 90% of the time, yeah. :D_ Haha, Wilkland. I need to come up with some more pairing names like that. Like Amedrian. XD **4. **Well, it's the Bad Touch Trio. Who else would come up with logical Nintendo logic for something like that? :) I made you CRY? Eek. Hopefully you had Kleenex! _Yong-Soo Im: Kleenex was invented in Korea, by the way~!_ **5. **You see those two lines in between the names? They look like this: || Whenever you see that, with a character's name before it and a name after it, so it looks eventually like this: **Renate Edelstein** || **Lule Adnan**: That's a private message. If you don't see that in the beginning of the section, then it's a wall post. Also, the wall posts have the [**Antonio Carriedo **_and _**14 **_others like this_] in them. The PMs don't. _Renate Edelstein: That information is also found in the very first chapter... you were supposed to read the instruction manual. _**6. **Well, this was mostly an introduction arc. Plus, there's going to be another party arc that will last much longer, considering that they pretty much spent a WEEK trying to remember what happened at said party. (Because a certain three people took video AND stayed sober and pretty much refused to release any information. Go them.) _Adrian Kirkland: And no, we're not revealing who that is, ducky. We'll keep that a secret for now. _**8. **I know. I'm going to fix that. That's why this time is a double update. It WOULD be a triple again, but 30 starts off the finishing action and I don't want to start it and then leave you hanging. **11.** Yup. I was going to leave him male, but I played around with the thought of a female Turkey and Lule was born. XD I got the idea from this mini-picture series I did in my head (because I can't draw. So all the pretty pictures get to stay in my head.) It was basically where the Nyotalia characters all wore the same white skirt, and I just kinda configured their personalities off of the outfit they made with that skirt. That's how I made Lule (and Chantal and Liane and Jeanette). I wish I could draw. I would draw it for you. But, yeah. And Spamano is funny. They're just a funny pairing in general. I really do love the two of them together. **12. **I'm not pissed. I agree with you - Facebook allows very little immersion because you're not THERE. You don't get to SEE it. All you do is HEAR about it. I'll take that into consideration when writing the action scene for Chapter 30-31. **14.** He is in his own special, slightly stalkerish way. I love him though, he is that exact type of character when he seems to be cold and threatening, but is really, truly a teddy bear. That's exactly why we love him, and exactly why Tino loves him, but that little tsundere part of him doesn't want to admit it jussst yet. :D **18.** _Lovino Vargas: Oh, the Tron thing. If you go to YouTube and type in Tron Legacy Literal Trailer by Tobuscus, you'll see it. Watch that, and you'll understand everything. Except for Arthur and his random... comment... fucker... [/blushes]_ **22.** Oh, no. Chereneko is a boy, despite the slightly feminine name. Actually, his name is like that because I misspelled it. The real name is Charenenko, but by the time I noticed I'd incorporated it too much. **24.** I'm about to start reviewing via PMs, because this is a little tedious. This is actually the reason my updates are so late. The reviews are staggering. **27.** Cupido Aiutanti makes it return in the Tsunderes Unite! arc. I mean a SERIOUS return. They're a massive part of the plot, especially Adrian and Feliciano (considering that their brothers are the major plot focus here, then yeah, they'd be involved) _Feliciano Vargas: Of couse we'd be involved~! Lovi needs love too_

[**Map of the Stars**] :: Firstly: Wow, that's some enthusiasm. I love it. :inserthearthere: Secondly, yes triple update! :D Thirdly, yeah, I figured I'd lighten up the clue load, because several of them would have even scrambled MY head up. (No kidding. The one for 24 would have screwed me up big time.) So, this is easier, at least until 29. And - oh shit, really? I need to, ah, majorly fix that. Y'know, that's kind of pathetic. I can't even write down my own code properly. Yeah, that's a little more than a little pathetic... [/gloom face] Fourthly, there's an acoustic version? _Hera Karpusi: Apparently. I'll go listen to it... right... now. Or maybe later... I don't know... no... now._ ... While she makes up her mind on what to do... _Hera Karpusi: Don't hate... I'm just indecisive. _I'mma look that up too! Thanks for telling me, that will be awesome to hear. And fifthly, yeah. I did respond to them all. I figured since most authors DON'T, I'll be a icebreaker and plunge myself into uncharted territory. For you to be clear-headed at 3 in the morning is a feat within itself. I'm proud of you. Here's an an honorary virtual lei. [/drapes the lei over her head] Oh, my God. Chantal/Lovino. I MUST hint at them during the Tsunderes Unite! arc. Get Arthur all jealous and ticked off, which will then get Jeanette all jealous and ticked off. And there's nothing better than chain reactions. Haha, that was the best PolLiet moment ever. A friend of mine was watching it with me and she completely SPAZZED. (She's such a PolLiet fangirl XD) Yeah, of course Poland can get serious - but yes, PolRuss. Just for you. Because I figured it's about time someone ELSE got sucked into Russia's life and stay there, y'know, for more than one arc. _Jacques Espin: Bonjour~! Yes, I'm from Seychelles, pleasure to meet you! And really? I remind you of that? [/grins] Sweet. I always DID like those movies... I used to dream about them when I was younger... it was kinda cool._ OH GOD. When Lule and Elizabeta actually DO end up together, I MUST post something along those lines. YES. Mmhm, Tino's gonna plot. You know how Finland stood up to Russia and defeated him once before? Yeah, you get to see where all of those balls came from. Because Tino actually does try to push them together, although nothing more than friendship occurs because of Feliciano. (I have a plot for this.) AND Yong-Soo/Peter? Oh yeah! Although I'm pretty sure Peter will end up with Madara. Four of the characters have a notable hero complex, Amelia being the most notorious. One of the others is Peter, who believes that Madara needs to be saved from Ivan - and the only way to do that is to be her knight in shining armor. This is the most low-key of those hero complexes, next being Amelia's. The two you don't know about are the most severe and the ones with the most potential to be harmful (especially since the ones they hurt are the only people they don't save - themselves). **26. **You amuse me. Actually, Kiku had it figured out when he heard it. He just didn't want to be her. (Why? Because they were romantically involved in a funny sort-of way - the majority of their relationship revolved around Black Butler.) It's not exactly an OC... I say that because he's a canon character, it's just you haven't met him. **27. **Ooh. No reviewer has ever asked me before. I get to divulge. Okay. Gilbert is a paranoid/disorganized schizophrenic. This creates Fritz (a.k.a. Friedrich the Second?), who is actually a hallucination of Gilbert's. Ironically, Fritz's appearance is similar to a younger male France, so I fangirled and schemed about a possible Gil/Jean intervention, probably to piss off Matilda so she'd be like, "HEY. MINE." I figured you'd change it. And this is actually tame for him. Wait until he returns. Wait until he comes back with a vengeance. It gets far, far worse.

[**FlyingSolo365**] :: _Antonio Carriedo: Aw~ Akane, you scared her! [/hugs Solo] It's okay, no big bad stalker is going to get you... _Yet. XD _Antonio Carriedo: AKANE! Shhh!_

[**TABC**] :: The reason I used AMERICA, instead of AMELIA is because Amelia is the only blue-blooded American of the group. For example, Antonio is Spanish-American, as he has an American father but a Spanish mother. Jeanette is purely French, having moved to America when she was 7. Matilda is French-Canadian, having a French-Canadian mother and a Canadian father. As a final example, the Italian brothers. Both of them (well, three - including Seborgia) lived in San Marino, Italy until the age of four. At age four, their parents separated, and Lovino lived with his mother in Brindisi, while Feliciano and his father stayed in San Marino. Then, their parents were remarried and came to the United States at eleven. So, both of them come from Italy, yet then have different Italian backgrounds (and a British-Italian father). So, the clue could only related to Amelia regardless. _Nikita Arvolski: _

[**Demigod1315**] :: Oh you want Vietnam? Done. Vietnam will arrive in the Around The World in Seven Days arc, as she'll stay with Jeanette for a while (Jacques will be there too!). I have her name picked out and even a potential romantic interest. So, request accepted. _Yao Wang: Aru... he is a daring bastard. I wish he would just... die already. I'm quite sick of all of this. However, I'm thrilled to see another Asian! I hope she arrives soon, aru~ (and isn't anything like her cousin Jeanette...)_

[**ThePsychicAnimelovingBookworm**] :: **26.** ... Really? ADM. I am SUCH an airhead. XD Glad you pointed that out, because I would have NEVER seen it. I think you're the second person to tell me I messed up the code somehow, which is great because that means more people have proof of my airheadedness. **27.** Yup. Poor people. Maybe if the police system was any better, this could have been prevented. _Arthur Kirkland: They were ironically quick about telling us who the skeleton was, however, alarmingly slow when it came to people that had been alive only minutes before. It's quite pathetic, really. _- Couldn't have said that better myself, Artie.

[**Lalliey**] :: **25.** Oh, thanks! He is a semi-normal human being, even if he totally doesn't mind if his borther were his lover. So yeah, he's an eccentric little Belarusian. XD _Chereneko Braginski: But we love him regardless... er... well, I do. Ivan's kinda apprehesive around him... _**26.** Mmhmm. And I don't know, Amelia, it's not going to be easy worming your way out of this one. _Amelia F. Jones: When don't I worm my way out of stuff? Chill. I'll think of... something. Yeah..._ And nice job finding using the stereotype thing as a clue. I don't think anyone's done that yet. Go uniqueness! XD **27.** Er... [/feels totally guilty because I don't even remember when I updated this] DX Dang. Okay, I need, like a schedule or something. So I don't have to do this again, because this annoys me just as much as it annoys you. Nyeh~ It doesn't help that this is my senoir year either. So, yeah. Fun, fun, fun. But I will so post more regularly. _Maximilian van der Meer: So she says. _Max, if you're gonna be annoying, go bother Hendrik or something. :\

[**natcat5**] :: _Mina van der Meer: Oh, that's okay! As long as you sent one, it's the thought that counts, you know! She was just as happy to see yours as anyone else's and plus, you enjoyed yourself! That's all that really matters! _

[**andthenshesaid**] :: **25.** Hang on, even I don't remember what happened in 25. Lemme reread it. ... Okay. Now I remember. Lemme give you a quick little summary so you get it, okay? FIRST: This picks up where chapter 24 left off, because Yao had a note left on his locker by Thanatos, our Hacker's right hand man. Er... left hand man. Than is left-handed. :) This was the group speculating about the note and then Madara mentioning she might have seen him. SECOND: This is the group (Nikita, Gilbert, and Laima, mostly) trying to solve Svetlana's death/murder/accident - they aren't totally sure yet, and then Nikita - whose walking around Downtown - notices that a certain Thanatos Witner is right in front of him, which explains the THIRD part as he friends him (and Than, you were stupid enough to accept it). The FOURTH part is Elizabeta friending Nikita. While Gilbert doesn't know the Hacker, Elizabeta DOES, but only vaguely and only because of his effect on Gilbert. The FIFTH part has a load of implications towards Svetlana's death, such as "underneath the surface", and being "on thin ice already", which is like he says a "bad place to be". These implications hint that Thanatos knows quite a bit about Sveta's death... only thing is, how does he know? The SIXTH part is the Hacker and Thanatos talking and plotting a standard he-knows-too-much-let's-off-'im situation. NOTE: This section has a problem solving hint in it! SEVENTH: This is where Yao Wang receives the first code from the Hacker. By saying that "if you don't, you won't be able to save him" implies that someone IS going to be seriously injured if he doesn't, which is exactly what happens. While the EIGHTH part is Yao, Arthur, Chereneko and Kiku trying to figure out exactly how to begin to crack the code, the NINTH part is filled with all of your glorious RusAmeochka~. The only crucial thing in this is more explained in the TENTH and FINAL part with Jeanette and Lule, with Jeanette indicating that even in times when things are a lot more than a little crazy, she'll fight for Arthur no matter what. Obsessive much? So yeah. XD That's chapter 25 in a rather large nutshell. **26. **Of course he's going to be creepy. If not, I wouldn't have any sadistic fun and you wouldn't be losing sleep. XD _Amelia F. Jones: I think I'm losing more sleep than anyone around here, geez... You're torturing me, Akane. TORTURING ME. _LOL, it's alright. As long as you attempt it, that's good enough for me and for all of us. **27.** Yeah, again. Nikita's the primary target in THIS round of fun&games because Nikita, according to the Hacker and Thanatos, knows too much. Thanatos has NEVER liked Nikita and wouldn't mind to see him dead. In round two of this endevour, this becomes ironic. _Arthur Kirkland: It's quite funny, really. They were awfully fast responding to our skeleton's identity, however, not so fast when it came to the safety of once-breathing human beings. ... Tino's rather spot on with that, he is. _Oh, it's okay. I'm pretty sure I have a flag for every pairing I've ever thought of for this story. So, yeah. [/waves LoKiku flag] THIS is one I'm rather obsessed with, so I feel your pain.

[**Readers-Section**] :: Mmhm. Nikita was kind of bound to get hurt here. Considering that Thanatos certainly wouldn't mind Nikita being dead (in part 2, this becomes QUITE ironic), and the fact that he simply knows too much, thanks to the Hacker's earlier mistake, it was inevitable. At least he's still alive: if Thanatos had gotten his way, he would have regretted it later. _Ivan Braginski: Ah... I don't get my sudden attaction to Ameochka either~ she is just... hmm~ I just love her so much. I can not explain it any other way. :D_ (Akane can. It's building off of an old mutual crush from seventh grade. Amelia liked him first, Ivan exploited this, Amelia tried to back herself out and play hard-to-get, which made Ivan like her even more. However, this is also when Eduard came into the picture.) And Gilbert totally gives you permission to use the word awesome as a description. XD

[**Of Fishing and Ever Afters**] :: _Hera Karpusi: [/tilts head] Do you think... what were you expecting...? We're quite... insane like that. We're sporadic. But... that's what I like about us. _

[**WashuPeku**] :: _Gilbert Beilschmidt: Kesesese~ you know it! [/high fives] Well, y'know, NOT cool considering what's going on, but... Glad our lives are kick-ass and interesting for you! That makes my day. _

[**The-doodle-queen**] :: _Feliciano Vargas: Veh~! Tobuscus videos! I'm going to go watch the Pirates of the Carribbean one now... maybe I can get Luddy to watch it with me too... Or Tino! He likes them too!_

[**ZoosWho**] :: Oh, no it's not too late. Laima, huh? Interesting choice. :) (That was, believe it or not, my original choice before I decided it would be best for you to decide).

[**Lydiacatfish**] **25.** _Elizabeta Hedevrary: Me? Akane, I can't sit back here without you telling me what's going on. What's this for anyway? _Can't tell you that, dearie. It'll come in handy for me, trust me. _Elizabeta Hedervary: Ugh. She never tells us ANYTHING. It's so unfair! D: _**26.** Well, I can't make them all impossible, y'know. I mean, I DO want people to guess it correctly, so... yeah. This one wasn't that hard at all. XD **27.** Ooh, good guess. I love that guess! Hearing it makes me all happy, because I just can't wait until Tsunderes Unite!, in which you all will be treated a to a lovely little amount of Ivan x Feliks. And they WILL like it. _Peter Kirkland: Feliks... Feliks just likes to do his own thing. Although, I can't believe that "own thing" will have anything to do with Ivan Braginski. Tch. I don't get the attraction to him. _Maybe because you're straight, Peter? _Peter Kirkland: Or maybe because I'm not, y'know, bloody INSANE._

[**TJ Amorette**] :: I'm shocked at this amount, really. i never expected to get to 300 reviews so, when I checked my email that day and saw all of the reviews I was like, O_O! Mmhm, she is. I actually do like her as a brunette, she's pretty regardless. But I went off of France's design when I visualized her, so... blond it was. Since a lot of them have already been drawn for me - thanks Himaurya! - I didn't have to visualize MUCH. However, since some of the designs like Turkey, Greece, Latvia, Cuba and etc. haven't been designed yet, or weren't when I started, I had some creative liberties. :D Especially Lule and her eternal use of white-rimmed sunglasses. France doesn't really play a major role until Chapter 2, which is Alfred/America's part. I finished watching part 29 and France was ALL over it. Oh, tell me about it. My first ever anime killed me because I lost one the best characters to grace its presence (L). So, so tragic. Yup. Elizabeta and Nikita. Best Friends Forever. XD They'd bond over Gilbert and all other things Hacker-related. Oh, Chan is SO jealous. 'Cause Elizabeta and Renate had a thing before Chantal stepped in, and even since she managed to win Renate's heart, she's been almost paranoid than she hasn't won it all and that Renate is suspect to falling for Elizabeta again. _Chantal Zwingli: It's a genuine fear. ... Don't laugh at me... you never know when it will happen._ Mmhm. Natalya Arvokskaya became Nikita Arvolski. And the world collaspes in on itself and is turned inside out. ;)

[**Nitedream**] :: **26.** I know, it's driving ME crazy. I definitely need to concoct a schedule so I can write this stuff and publish it faster. So yeah, it's insanity. **27.** Hmmm, that's an interesting question. You make it sound like you don't want him alive. But if he's not alive, then part two is almost pointless. So, yeah, he's alive. I also need him for a pairing idea that hit my head - it's going to throw a wrench into an established pairing, but HECK it will be fun to do.

[] :: Awww, thanks! It's no easy feat... I'm thinking over this story in my head almost constantly. It's exhausting believe it or not. Seriously? [/fangirls] I've made it my goal to increase the popularality of this pairing, whether it be through this fanfiction or some wother work. Hopefully, this one. If you write any, I'd love to see you expand the fanbase. Tea&Tomatoes needs some good ol' fashioned love. Oh, I love RoChu just as much as the next person, although lately I've been having the little thing about Sealand and China... I'm addicted to crack pairings, so I'll throw together the craziest relationships. I don't get it. And believe it or not, I'm not completely sure who China's final pairing will be with. Possibilities are Russia, Spain (Legit. I'm considering it) and Japan. Sealand's a crack situation. ;D

[**Midnight Ghost**] :: I don't think Mark Zuckerburg expected to have a movie made about him either, but hey - life happens. XD Yong-Soo? I had a count of it and wrote the votes down somewhere, but I can't remember EXACTLY what it is. **However, Yong-Soo won.** (I bolded that so other people would notice) So, Yong-Soo is going to be the Hacker's connection back to APH - and this my friends, is going to be oh-so-fun. You should have killed him, silly readers~ True. But the deaths are affecting them in a way that you can't see over Facebook. Gilbert does shrug it off, but that's what Gilbert always tries to do. It's just sometimes, it's too serious (you know, for him) to ignore and it kind of "jams his mind" and he can't think of anything to derail the situation or make it easier to handle. In this case, he can; he focuses on the kidnapping and not the deaths. Meanwhile, he's staring at the computer screen in complete shock after he posts this, wondering how he can lie and sound confident when even HE doesn't believe it. Amelia has a reponse to it too - you see it in chapter 29 as she actually does post about it. However, it's Gilbert and Amelia. That's what they do - they cover stuff like that up, and they're actually fairly good at it, unlike, say, Jeanette, who was completely rattled by the Bonnefoy House even though it has no significant part in her life and DIDN'T until she stepped foot into it (so her problems are her own fault, really). Plus, all of their thoughts and suspuscisons and worries are poured into chapters 30, 31 and 32. That ties the string on the present and basically explains why they didn't think this was a serious issue until... well, now. _Feliciano Vargas: Ve~ ... We're really, really, naive... That's not a good thing either... [/ponders]_

[**I Shall Bite You**] :: OHMYGOD. I know who you are. You are either A) EDWARD CULLEN - B) FENRIR GREYBACK - C) DRACULAURA or D) KYOYA HIBARI. All of them are professional biters. XD Anyway, while I embrace the fact that - yay I have another new reviewer who likes writing long reviews :D - I shall respond. Onward! **1. **Tch. What fangirl doesn't like a little Foe Yay with their yaoi. (Foe Yay being a TV Trope term - it's a great website.) Besides, I really do like Antonio x Lovino, despite my new found love for Lovino x Arthur. They just... work. So well together too, it's shocking. Then the crack pairing side of me intervenes before I can think of a better reason, and next thing I know, Spain and Finland are suddenly soulmates. _Tino Vainamoinen: ... Really? I barely even see Antonio, much less have a conversation with him, Akane...!_ Yeah, I know. But I'm a tad bit insane, savvy dear? **2.** I love the French pronuciation. It sounds more like "ZHOHN-ette" - because I have a legit French friend who legitly told me that how it's said. I fell it love shortly after, so yeah. It's Jeanette. Be glad it's that - the other two names I was toying around for her were Ciel and Solange. Solange, believe it or not, is her middle name. Jeanette Solange Bonnefoy. It's sooo foreign~! You think she's happy at making other's miserable NOW? It's a secret kink of hers - she probably gets off on that. The Bonnefoy House part Two brings that side of her out. It's okay. Do you think I have a heart either? **3.** Yeah, maybe not. Believe it or not, supposedly Fem!America prefers hotdogs over hamburgers so... I don't know. Maybe it would be a good friendship. :D **4. **They really do care for each other, they're just GOD AWFUL at communication. _Jeanette Bonnefoy: Oh, tell me about it, mon amie. It is just as tragic as it is sheerly OBNOXIOUS. _**All The Other Chapters: **XD I'm so lazy. Oh, I think that's... 16? I can't remember exactly which that was either. Oh, no it was 17. Heh. But yeah, that was the first thing I thought of when I heard Japan's human name for the first time because it was so similar. Wait. It can't have been. [/scrolls back through the story] O.M.G. no wonder their relationship isn't going anywhere! It's not being displayed on Facebook! I will SO write more exchanges with them! Watch the love grow. LOL Awesomian! Oh, God, I need to use that. You have just won yourself an internet. [/hands over the Safari browser] Here. This is yours. I like her female form too, Belarus. She's a beautiful, if not BAT SHIT INSANE character and that's the best kind. Meh, it's fine. I sit here going, "Okay. I am NOT going to spoil stuff in these reviews." Next thing I know I've dumped them allover the place. It's insane. I actually had to RE-EDIT these reviews because I revealed too much on accident. Good grief. XP

[**IWANTMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE**] :: Belarus? XD [/huggles] I will totally make more for you, of cou - WAITASECOND. Do you just say add jealousy between the two people who I surprisingly NOT done that with? OHMYGOD, YES. (The reason I haven't is because Adrian's feelings for Amelia aren't fully developed yet and Jeanette doesn't stand a real "chance" in her mind that she's going to lose him. Ivan's a distraction, really, but she snaps back into her game eventually.) _Amelia F. Jones: Besides. Sometimes I don't even think she really likes him. I mean, I KNOW she loves him because no way I'd obsess over a guy for so long without being in love, but c'mon... it's almost like she hates the relationship. If Jean REALLY loved him, she'd try a hell of a lot harder, don't ya think?_ Disturbingly rational, but true...

[**ADRIANxAMERICAxIVAN**] :: _Hendrik van der Meer: She does have it done to that point. Only thing is, school. She's a senior this year, so things have been a tad sporadic. She's here now... that must count for something? [/shrugs] I don't know, I'm being payed to talk for her because she likes doing this. _...? You're supposed to be nice to them. _Hendrik van der Meer: [/waves] There. That was nice._ ... [/facepalm] He IS right though, even if he's reclusive.

* * *

**session twenty-eight** :: misery business [_paramore_]

- saturday, september 5th

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: Nikita Arvolski

**conclusion** :: The Hacker's riddle is this: It's someone near you, but someone you don't want to be near you. Since Nikita (or Natalya, in her ungenderbent form) is notoriously known for being that person, that is the answer. (Nice job, for those who thought it was Poland. I love you all. ;D)

**question** :: _who is the brunet in amelia's house?_

**hint** :: there are two hints: 1) in a certain group of five people, one of those is missing in this chapter, and 2) in the question I asked you in chapter 25, i listed three people, all of those being brunets. but only one of them fits a clue that is provided in the chapter itself.

* * *

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli **|| **Kiku Honda**: Honda. How's everything?

**Kiku Honda**: Ah, Chantal-chan. Fine for now. We managed to find Amelia.

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... I heard.

**Kiku Honda**: Although Gilbert-san still seems to still be worried about something... something having to do with Ivan?

**Chantal Zwingli**: Gilbert's odd. He always seems to be preoccupied nowadays.

**Kiku Honda**: I wonder why sometimes. It's troubling.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Gilbert's preoccupation can't really be fixed.

**Chantal Zwingli**: But enough about him already. I didn't message to talk about Gilbert, I wanted to talk about you Honda.

**Kiku Honda**: M-me, Chantal-chan? Whatever for?

**Chantal Zwingli**: Because. You're the one who seems to be worried.

**Chantal Zwingli**: And worrying is bad for you.

**Chantal Zwingli**: You do that enough in normal situations.

**Chantal Zwingli**: ... So stop.

**Kiku Honda**: ...

**Kiku Honda**: Hai. I shall. Thank you for being so caring, Chantal-chan. ^^

**Chantal Zwingli**: It - It's nothing... Kiku.

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones**: I have officially been awake for... somewhere around 24 hours. I think. I have no perception of time any more.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**11** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas**: Wow~! I could never stay awake that long, even if I tried!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Haha, neither could I! :D

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I could make it to where you can, Antonio~ ;)

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: ... That's MY job, not yours. XP

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**23 **_others __like this_]

**Andersen Densen**: OWNED. XD

**Arthur Kirkland**: Amelia, why the bloody HELL aren't you going to sleep?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Okay. You watch seven people die and you're unable to do a single thing and see how many winks you get then.

[**Maiken Bondevik **_and _**6** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Maiken Bondevik**: The little stars-and-stripes slut has a point.

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: You're EVIL, Maiken...

**Amelia F. Jones**: Exactly! =D

**Andersen Densen**: I bet it'll take her 10 minutes to realize what Maiken just said...

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: 15.

******(Mobile) Tino Väinämöinen**: 20!

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Amelia F. Jones**: Wait.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Hey! You bitch! Take that back RIGHT NOW!

**Tino Väinämöinen**: I think this means I win. ^^ 21 minutes!

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _and _**10** _others like this_]

* * *

**Arthur Kirkland** || **Amelia F. Jones**: Amelia, you really do need your rest though.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yes Mother. =P

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'm being serious, Jones.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Alright! I'll try. Jesus. What more do you want me to do?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Relax. It's going to be fine. This whole thing will end sooner than you think.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Alright! Stop nagging me!

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'm not NAGGING you!

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yeah, and the sky's NOT blue. :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: [/sigh] Ame...

**Amelia F. Jones**: I won't do it until you come over.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ...

**Amelia F. Jones**: I won't~

**Arthur Kirkland**: ...

**Amelia F. Jones**: I'll stay on my phone and play Angry Birds all day~

**Arthur Kirkland**: Fine.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Score one for Amelia Fucking-Awesome-As-Hell Jones!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Don't make me regret this. -_-

**Amelia F. Jones**: You won't, not with my most awesome Asian friend over as well!

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones**: You DO learn something new ever day... I just learned that Arthur's ticklish. ^^

[**Lovino Vargas **_and _**5** _others like this_]

**Ivan Braginski**: Are you ticklish Amelia?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Psh, no. ;)

**(Mobile) Mei Wang**: Liar! You are SO ticklish, Ame!

**Ivan Braginski**: Liar, liar, plants for hire~

[**Matilda Williams** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas**: Ooh, really? Lovino would LOVE to know that~!

[**Lule Adnan **_and _**6** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: . . .

**Arthur Kirkland**: In the name of all that is holy... Belt up, Amelia! Besides I THOUGHT you were supposed to be sleeping!

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oblivious much? ^^ That's because YOU were half-asleep yourself!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Before you disturbed me that is. -_-

**Matilda Williams**: You know, I could have just told you all of this.

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_likes this_]

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ...?

**Lovino Vargas**: Really.

**Matilda Williams**: Mmhm. I knew he was ticklish already. :)

**Arthur Kirkland**: Mattie... stop talking.

[**Matilda Williams** _likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: Good to know.

**Feliciano Vargas**: I bet you would like to know that, fratello!

**Lovino Vargas**: You shut the hell up and STOP STALKING ME!

* * *

**(Mobile) Ivan Braginski **|| **Thanatos Winter**: Than~

**Thanatos Winter**: What? Where ARE you?

**Ivan Braginski**: I'm about to pay Amelia a visit. As soon as this blond and a brunet leaves.

**Thanatos Winter**: Ivan?

**Ivan Braginski**: No, some British guy. Don't know the brunet.

**Thanatos Winter**: Are you in her house?

**Ivan Braginski**: On the stairs. She hasn't noticed.

**Ivan Braginski**: The brunette's cute though...

**Thanatos Winter**: Focus you.

**Thanatos Winter**: But good job on being a ninja.

**Ivan Braginski**: Thank you. I may just even be better than Wang Yao at this.

* * *

**Amelia F. Jones** || **(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Gilbert. He was in my house.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Nuh-uh, he wasn't...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh God, you're serious. Why?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Nikita again!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: He really wants you to kill Nikita... doesn't he.

**Amelia F. Jones**: But I can't do that!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Okay, okay, okay, Amelia. Let's think for a sec.

**Amelia F. Jones**: But he wants it done by TOMORROW.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: !

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: No probs, we can handle this. Let's think a little faster.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Should I warn Nikita?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: No. Where does he want you to meet him?

**Amelia F. Jones**: After 8 on Sunday at the rec center's pool.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Won't it be closed?

**Amelia F. Jones**: He says jump the fence.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: I think I've got an idea. I'm going to need Ivan and Yao though.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Done! Now gimme the details, baby!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You got 'em! ;)

* * *

**Yao Wang**: So. 8 on Sunday, correct?

**Ivan Braginski**: Finally! I want to meet this hacker of mine~

**Amelia F. Jones**: No, you don't. -_-

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Alright team. Let's get this party started!

**Xiang Wang**: You hurt my brother and I'mma kill you.

**Yao Wang**: I thank you for your concern but REALLY - don't smother me, aru. -.-

**Matilda Williams**: Wait... what? Where are you all going?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Nowhere important, Birdie. Don't worry your pretty little head off. ;D

[**Arthur Kirkland **_likes this_]

**Matilda Williams**: Why did you like that, Arthur?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh, no reason at all darling...

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _likes this_]

**Matilda Williams**: Okay...

**Yao Wang**: Relax, Matilda. We're just going to talk to him.

**Matilda Williams**: Alright...

**Amelia F. Jones**: But you can help! On Sunday around 7ish, can you keep an eye on Nikita for me?

**Matilda Williams**: Sure. :)

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Make sure he stays out of harm's way, now, Birdie. We're counting on you!

**Matilda Williams**: Yeah. I will. ^^

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: That's my girl! :)

**Matilda Williams**: Just stay in one piece, okay? You're too cute to die.

[**Arthur Kirkland** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: That I can do! XD

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas**: Yay, true love at last~!

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt **_likes this_]

**Matilda Williams**: ...

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ...

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ... You two are pathetic.

[**Arthur Kirkland **_and _**23 **_others like this]_

* * *

**Jeanette Bonnefoy** || **Arthur Kirkland**: I saw you~ trying to play Matchmaker on Facebook.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Just giving their relationship a push is all. I couldn't resist the opportunity.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oh, I know. I wish they would simply confess their undying love for each other...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Wish someone else would confess too...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... What, Arthur?

**Arthur Kirkland**: ...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: You know Arthur... I'll confide a secret in with you. Last night, I had a dream...

**Arthur Kirkland**: About you, Gilbert, and Antonio and your pirate cosplay. -_- I've heard this story before.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Quoi? Non! Not this time~

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I was on Facebook, chatting to people - but it was ten years in the future. It took me a while to notice - but my name wasn't Jeanette BONNEFOY.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: It was Jeanette KIRKLAND.

**Arthur Kirkland**: O-Oh really.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Oui. I was distressed to discover it was only a dream... but that doesn't mean I can't make it a reality. ;)

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Adrian IS very attractive as well. ;)

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Adrian. I really did NOT want to hear that.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Ah, you silly, silly boy. Can you not recognize a JOKE when you see one?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Arthur...?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: OH, I'm so stupid. Why did I say that?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I HAD him. I actually HAD him.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: ... Why does that always happen to us?

* * *

**special agent akane**: I am seriously 3 chapters away from Tsunderes! Unite. OMG. Oh, and by the way, the Tsunderes Unite arc will start about 2 weeks after the end of this one - like how they was a three-week separation in between the Baltics&Nordics arc and this one.

**special agent akane**: Also, a new link is up on my profile - if you click it, it will take you a YouTube playlist. That playlist contains ALL of the music so far that I have used for The Internet Killed The Video Star, and I will try to update it around the same time I update the story. Okay? Now you have some tunage to go along with your reading! Yay!

**Ivan Braginski**: Yay!

**special agent akane**: Why are you so happy? The music?

**Ivan Braginski**: Nyet! This arc is almost over!

**special agent akane**: ... I almost asked you why you were happy about that, and then I remembered who I was talking to.

**special agent akane**: Now I'm going to sign off before I have any more blonde moments.

**special agent akane**: Never mind. I have another request for you. Now, while Cupido Aiutanti is going to have its hands full with Lovino and Arthur, there's eight of them. Meaning that, SOME of them can break away for a bit and help out with some other possible pairings. Any ones in particular you want to see during this time period? However the ones you offer CAN'T include **Tea&Tomatoes** (obvie), **RusPol** (Ivan/Feliks for Map of the Stars XD), **GerSve** (Ludwig/Berwald. Why? Because there's an interesting All I Ever Wanted hint in this pairing) and **Spamano** (YES, you get Spamano. Rejoice all Spamano fangirls). So? Hit me with your best pairings.


	29. hero

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

* * *

**session twenty-nine** :: hero [_skillet_]

- saturday, september 5th

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: Yong-Soo Im.

**conclusion** :: Amelia mentioned that over with her was her "Asian" friend. Out of the three (Yong-Soo, Laima and Elizabeta), only one of them is Asian, that one person being obviously Yong-Soo. The second clue is that there are two major groups that consist of five people: The Asians and the Nordics. Out of the Asians, the only one who doesn't appear in that chapter is Yong-Soo. **  
**

**question** :: _What does nachalo mean?  
_

**hint** :: This is easy, believe it or not. the first clue is google translate. I'm not telling you what language because it's mentioned in the story. The second clue is, if you go back and look over some of the chapters, you'll notice that Thanatos tends to call our Hacker by a certain name. Once you discover the meaning of this name, figuring out what Nachalo means is cake.

* * *

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones**: Is ready to rendezvous with Gilbert Beilschmidt, Ivan Braginski and Yao Wang.

[**Ivan Braginski **_and _**8** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: You're doing what?

**Ivan Braginski**: Ameochka~! You forgot Matanya and Nikita!

**Amelia F. Jones**: Oh yeah.

**Yao Wang**: Nervous, Jones?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Please. And the sky is orange, Wang.

**Yao Wang**: Actually, it's sunrise. The sky IS orange.

[**Matilda Williams** _and _**15** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones**: It ain't sunrise no more Yao!

**Renate Edelstein**: My IQ just dropped two points from reading that.

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt **_and _**2** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Feliciano Vargas**: Yay~! Daytime! And ciao, Luddy~

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Good morning, Feliciano.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh, Luddy, just call me Feli~! Didn't I say you could?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ... Fine. Feli. Good morning.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yay!

**Yao Wang**: Alright, it's not. Still nervous?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Nope.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: What exactly are you two talking about?

**Amelia F. Jones**: No worries, Hasselhoff. We've got this. ;)

**Lovino Vargas**: HAHA.

* * *

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones**: Just wants it to be 8:00 already.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Why?

**Amelia F. Jones**: That's when the magic happens. ;)

**Arthur Kirkland**: You've been vague like this all day. Just tell me.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Nope. I refuse. XD

**(Mobile) Andersen Densen**: You better just stop trying, Arthur, 'cause you're not going to get a thing out of her.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Since when did you become an expert on Amelia?

**Amelia F. Jones**: I told you Andersen, he doesn't pay attention to a damn thing unless it deals directly with him.

**Andersen Densen**: Psh. I can't believe you were right about it though.

**Amelia F. Jones**: When am I NOT right?

**Andersen Densen**: Um, do we have to go there, Ame?

**Amelia F. Jones**: No. Don't go there. :D

**Arthur Kirkland**: Okay. When did YOU two get all friendly?

**Amelia F. Jones**: We dated last year. Jesus, Arthur, where have you BEEN?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: He was fondling a certain Canadian all last year. Where have YOU been?

**Arthur Kirkland**: From November to June is NOT "all last year".

**Arthur Kirkland**: But my, you certainly sound bitter about it.

[**Lule Adnan** _and _**7** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Hera Karpusi**: Even I knew that though Arthur...

**Lule Adnan**: And you know Watermelon doesn't pay attention to ANYTHING.

**Hera Karpusi**: Bitch. My last name... for the last time... is not watermelon.

**Lule Adnan**: It means watermelon in Greek.

**Hera Karpusi**: Go sip on your haterade somewhere else...

**Amelia F. Jones**: HATERADE. Oh, I am SO using that! XD

* * *

**Ivan Braginski** || **Matilda Williams**: Matanya?

**Matilda Williams**: Ivan?

**Ivan Braginski**: How have you been?

**Matilda Williams**: Fine, thank you. Um... how about you?

**Ivan Braginski**: Could be worse, I suppose. ^^

**Matilda Williams**: I'm sorry...

**Ivan Braginski**: For what, Matanya?

**Matilda Williams**: F-For everything... mostly for earlier.

**Ivan Braginski**: I'm confused...

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, Mathilde. Is that still bothering you? What I said to you?

**Matilda Williams**: More of what I said to you.

**Ivan Braginski**: No, no, no~! Don't worry about that! If I could hug you right now, I would...

**Ivan Braginski**: It's okay, Matanya. I actually deserved that. I was so mean to you.

**Ivan Braginski**: And I'll never do it again. Never, da?

**Matilda Williams**: Never?

**Ivan Braginski**: Never, Matanya~!

**Matilda Williams**: Oui. Never. :)

**Ivan Braginski**: Yay, you're happy again~! That's all I want, Matanya.

**Ivan Braginski**: Oh, wait. No, it's not. Are you about to go visit Nikita?

**Matilda Williams**: I'll be leaving soon to head that way.

**Ivan Braginski**: Good. ^^

**Matilda Williams**: And Ivan? Take care of my sister for me. Please?

**Ivan Braginski**: Hn~ of course, Matanya.

* * *

**Chereneko Braginski** || **Yong-Soo Im**: Hey, Yong-Soo.

**Yong-Soo Im**: Hey! What's going on?

**Chereneko Braginski**: Nothing much... It's been kinda quiet.

**Yong-Soo Im**: TOO quiet?

**Chereneko Braginski**: Actually, yeah... Wait a second.

**Chereneko Braginski**: I got a message from Nikita.

**Yong-Soo Im**: Wait. Isn't he in the hospital?

**Chereneko Braginski**: Yes, but ... he told me who the Hacker was.

**Yong-Soo Im**: You mean the guy stalking Aneki? Who is it? Who is it, da ze!

**Chereneko Braginski**: ... I kinda - it's hard to explain.

**Yong-Soo Im**: Who is it? So I can tell Aneki before he leaves!

**Chereneko Braginski**: Leaves, Yong-Soo?

**Yong-Soo Im**: Yeah! He and Ivan and Amelia and Gilbert are going to go track down the hacker!

**Chereneko Braginski**: NO! Yong-Soo, stop them! They can't go after him, he'll kill them all!

**Yong-Soo Im**: ... NOT MY ANEKI, DAMNIT.

**Yong-Soo Im**: Alright, Cherenkeo. Let's go stop this shit before it starts.

**Chereneko Braginski**: ... Okay. I - I'm just going to follow you, okay?

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _and _**3 **_others have joined the group_ **OPERATION: HACKER ATTACK**.

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: We needed a place to talk this over without APH members jumping down our throats.

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones**: Yeah, seriously. Arthur's been bugging me ALL DAY.

**(Mobile) Yao Wang**: Well then stop posting about it! You're the only one who has been!

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... On the plus side, Mattie just left to go with Nikita.

**(Mobile) Ivan Braginski**: Good. And you, Ame?

**Amelia F. Jones**: I'm about to go with whoever the hacker sent for me.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: So, one of the conditions was that Ivan goes to meet the Hacker, is that right?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Yes.

**Ivan Braginski**: Gilbert and I will do that. Yao will come with us, but he'll sneak around the back of the pool.

**Yao Wang**: Shi de. Also, Amelia will steal her companions cell phone and text me their number.

**Ivan Braginski**: Then you text that number to me while I take the Hacker's phone.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Ivan gives me the number and I send the text to Amelia's companion's phone, which he'll then have back.

**Amelia F. Jones**: The text will call off the hit and tell him to come back, there's been an emergency.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: He'll come back with you, and meanwhile, you tell Matilda that the hit has been called off.

**Ivan Braginski**: Matilda calls the police, and we quietly evacuate the scene.

**Yao Wang**: We really couldn't think of anything better? I mean, this really so much on chance... if one thing goes wrong, the whole plan is ruined.

**Amelia F. Jones**: I have to try.

**Ivan Braginski**: We don't have any other options at this point.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: It's all we've got.

**Yao Wang**: Well then. Amelia, get ready.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Hon, I was BORN ready.

**Amelia F. Jones**: And besides, the person's here.

**Yao Wang**: Damn! Hurry, let's move!

**Ivan Braginski**: Sir, yes, sir~!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: This is probably going to be the most fun I've EVER had. XD

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Nachalo Zima** || **Thanatos Winter**: Than. It's me. I can't use Ivan's right now, he's online. So I made my own. Risky, but it'll do.

**Thanatos Winter**: Now HOW am I supposed to know that's you?

**Nachalo Zima**: Zima is how you pronouce Winter in Russian.

**Nachalo Zima**: You SPEAK Russian.

**Thanatos Winter**: Don't argue with me right now.

**Thanatos Winter**: I'm at Amelia's house now.

**Nachalo Zima**: Good. I'm at the pool, waiting for Ivan. :)

**Thanatos Winter**: Good. This'll be easy.

**Nachalo Zima**: Oh, so, so easy.

**Nachalo Zima**: Only thing is I have to get rid of Amelia too...

**Thanatos Winter**: I can do that.

**Nachalo Zima**: You can? Great. That just leaves me Chereneko, Wang Yao, and his father if all goes as planned.

**Thanatos Winter**: And his aunt.

**Nachalo Zima**: Only four people. I can handle it.

**Nachalo Zima**: Now, Than. Let's have some fun, shall we?

**Thanatos Winter**: YOU have some fun. Don't included me in this.

**Nachalo Zima**: Either way, it's going to be the most fun I've ever had. :)

* * *

**(Mobile) special agent akane**: Okay, now here's how the next TWO chapters are going to go, because they're going to be SLIGHTLY different than the norm when explaining situations like this. Since the members of OPERATION: HACKER ATTACK aren't going to be on Facebook, a third-party will be on Facebook, explaining what she sees. This third-person is someone you haven't met before, but, I'm pretty sure you'll like her. And no, I'm not going to say who it is, I'm keeping the suspense up. ^^

**special agent akane**: And of course, some of the other characters began following her posts, so there will be a FEW you don't know towards the beginning, but the rest you know. Okay? You all got it?

**special agent akane**: Great. Can't wait to see you there. ;)


	30. i don't wanna care right now

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

The spellbook riddles were just a test. This is where the real brainteasers come in. (This is also where you learn how my mind works.)

Oh, and for **Meso the Hanyu**: What do you mean I don't have an Egypt? XD

Also, Cuba has been added to the list. AND, for Map of the Stars, there is either an (M) or an (F) beside each character indicating their gender. (Plus, she wasn't the first to get everyone all mixed up, either.)

* * *

[**Of Fishing and Ever Afters**] :: ... You're all getting so close. Oh, it makes my skill CRAWL with excitement. A lot of random stuff comes in handy here, you'd be surprised. _Gilbert Beilschmidt: Yeah, seriously. Who knew random knowledge in ghosts and how to swim would help us close a cold case! :D _And open the door to everything else? Yeah, you go Gilly. _Gilbert Beilschmidt__: HEY! I don't judge YOU, now do I? _I'm sure you do, you just don't tell me so. No problem, glad you enjoyed it! [/waves] Oh, I think the Haterade thing's from a song... I don't know, I just heard someone say it and almost died laughing. So, yeah. XD I used it for Hera 'cause she's the least likely out of those people in the conversation to get all snarky.

[**Meso the Hanyu**] :: Of course not. Only awesomeness originates in Korea. _Gilbert Beilschmidt: HEY! I'm not Korean, I'm Prussian! _Seriously? She responds to German? That's so cute. XD I officially christen Ita as being the animal mascot for Feliciano Vargas. _Feliciano Vargas__: Yay~! [/throws flowers in the air]_ Eh? Why Fred of all things? XD That's so random. Unless... ZOMG. You have a Weasley dog. XDXDXDXD That's godly. Sheerly godly. I think I love your dog. Oh, I know. Huskies are simply beautiful... Dalmatians too. Maybe when I move out and get a house of my own, I'll get a dog. A big dog. It'll be grand. I usually roleplay mine, so I give them human names and stuff. It makes them feel, y'know, real. :) None of mine were sweet, lol. Astrid was a straight-up SNOB, and she's more amiable than the other two. Max is less of a snob, but more of a manipulative sneak. But you know, someone's gotta love him. What? I don't have an Egypt? I could have sworn I did. Yup. I do! Just check the first page. I swear it was there the WHOLE time. (Note that I had to make Egypt female because otherwise Lule wouldn't really bother. The only person Lule has EVER considered her sexuality over is Kiku, so - fem!Egypt it is).

[**andthenshesaid**] :: I missed your responses. You have no idea. I was going through like withdrawl or something. _Maiken Bondevik: Of all things you would remember... it's the one thing I wish I could forget. I'm almost as pathetic as Jeanette. She lets herself pine over him. I... refuse to do the same. I'm not wasting myself on him. I'm not going to waste anything. _She says that and yet she constructed an entire plot to see exactly how he feels - maybe because she, unlike Jean, has no idea whether he likes her or not? But yeah. DenNor. It is SO happening. Really? Oh look at that! You're not totally unstable after all. I can do most of those pairings, the only one is Germany/Austria - because, well, they're cousins. And THAT's kind of awkward... But they will have bonding moments. XD

[**ThePyschicAnimelovingBookworm**] :: I THINK NOT. :D And... um...oops. It's Aniki? Dang. That's more things I have to go back and fix. DX Okay, Akane, RESEARCH THIS SHIZ BEFORE YOU WRITE IT. ... That's another cousin pairing. Gilbert and Renate are cousins, which is also why you haven't heard ANYTHING about Gilbert and Renate being involved. (Trust me, either Chantal or Elizabeta would have bitched about it by now. Especially Chan-chan.) _Arthur Kirkland: Fruk? My dear Pyschic, I'm sure that not even a word... where on Earth did you - __Lovino Vargas: __Arthur. That means you and Jeanette. Together. In love. All night long. Now I'm sure you'd want to make a word in the dictionary for that now, don't you, bastard? _... Couldn't have said THAT better myself. ;) Ooh, no problem. That sounds completely and utterly dreary. Hope you did well!

[**Alice Barden**] :: You do? Lovely. XD I love that we're getting so close to solving this. I mean, literally, in THIS chapter, everything comes together. Seriously! You get to guess after this! You'll KNOW after this. It will all make sense. Wait... which ninja comment? Oh, with him sneaking into Amelia's house? Hey, Kiku's not the ONLY ninja. North Korea... there isn't a North Korea, so I never really bothered with adding them - with the exception of Max, all of the other APH members are canon (all the OCs you meet here are just guests). He is quite strong. Those seven - eight? - couldn't have just fallen on their own you know. Oh, yeah I added Liechtenstein. That's Liane Zwingli... she showed up in chapter... 23? 25? Can't remember exactly where.

[**Lydiacatfish**] :: **28. **Mmhm. Yong-Soo will unwittingly re-introduce the Hacker to the world. How? Well, wait 'til we get there. You'll see. Ooh! KimichiBurger! YES! I can include that. I will SO include that. I completely forgot about those two... I haven't thought about that pairing since I read some story... I can't remember the title and I don't think I saved it. PruAme? Yeah, they're more friends/rivals in awesomeness than anything. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't lead them into some interesting situations... XD _Amelia F. Jones: Geez! How many people have I paired myself up with? Holy crap - if you add Gilbert, I'mma probably need another hand to list them all!_ Yeah, well, you're still not as bad as Arthur. Oh, but the last one is a given. I think that either Liane or Laima are going to be Nikita's "final" pairing. Only thing is... which. freaking. one. **29.** _Renate Edelstein: You know how, whenever you're taking a test, the instructor usually tells you to trust your first guess...? :)_

[**I Shall Bite You**] :: Most conversations between them fail, but this is mostly because they clash in some ways and click in others, but the way they clash and click is in all of the wrong ways - but they really do want to make it work because they really do care about each other in a very deep and intricate way. Sounds romantic? Yeah. Actually IS romantic, once you delve deeper into their history and discover why they even started caring and what makes them care now? No. Actually, although you haven't really seen it yet (because Jeanette is in Cupido Aiutanti, the Bonnefoy Brigade and several other exclusive groups to come, which means very few people get a moment's relief to commence in their backstabbing comments), but quite a few APH members are either uncomfortable or are not a fan of the thought that Jeanette and Arthur may become a legit couple. In fact, SEVERAL APH members opposes this QUITE strongly and actually have either made attempts or are trying to prevent that from happening. (One such person has done this so many times that it's mind-blowing if that person has done NOTHING; also, do you honestly think all of the Arthur x Lovino supporters are doing it JUST to see them resolve their sexual tension? Hell no.) Or like Gilbert and Adrian. They're pretty awesome kidnappers too, y'know. _Adrian Kirkland: Who else could have randomly carted off Chantal, Renate and Arthur in one go becsides the two of us, anyway? Take that, Hacker!_ :D Nah, half of Cupido Aiutanti sits there and schemes over who to pair Arthur with - see above for more details - and I'm sure they want to keep those plans private. Although there's a possibility of adding a new member. Psh. That's not even a word. But, yeah, I'm sure we can add it to the Prussian dictionary. Gilbert will appreciate it. LOL at the suits. Actually, I think some of them would totally do that, though. Lule definitely. Ivan's nicknames are all from actual Russian names. Matanya comes from the diminutative Anya and her given name, Matilda. Laitiana comes from the name Tatiana. The "tiana" was added to "Lai". Madara's nickname is simply, Dara, which is actually a sign of that Ivan prefers her more because he made up a nickname for her on the spot (kind of like how someone rushes to claim something) - and he did the same thing with Yao (his nickname is simply, Yao-Yao). Ameochka comes from Amelia and Lidochka. _Hendrik van der Meer: Actually, your Canada joke was kind of funny... __Mina van der Meer: You actually GOT him to laugh. That's a massive accomplishment, so go you! _In a sense, someone WILL get killed. So, you're not WRONG. LOL, really? I would rather be Hibari - solely for the sake of Hibird. He's so cute! :3 Ohmygod. If I was a fan of like reincarnations and stuff, I must have been a pirate in another life. I have no problem grabbing my Xbox controller and laying havoc on some Spanish ports and stuff (or Blackbeard, whichever's closer. XD) LOL, yeah I do spoil quite a bit. Actually, I've been holding back, which is kind of sad. Ooh, really? That's kinda evil of you. I need to make a chapter where they run around and prank call each other. That would be hilarious. ... TSUNA? [/2759 FTW - although that intercepts my love of 2784.] Ohmigod. Ameripan. THAT I CAN DO. They totally have a history (a rather Black Butler-filled history, actually). And I'm so glad you like it. Seeing a new reviewer always makes my day.

[**Demigod1315**] :: Remember what Thanatos said to him about the language? A certain language came up when the Hacker debuted his new Facebook account, y'know... Oh, totally. The operation is rarin' to go... now if only they were this excited about normal stuff. XD Tch. Wait until the Bonnefoy House Part Deux. It's torn completely in half - half of the group is thrilled and the other half is dreading it completely (you won't believe some of the people dreading it. Even I don't believe it truly). But no matter how prepared they are... I don't think they're ready for this... _Nikita Arvolski: I know they're not. They can't be. They have no idea who they're dealing with. ... I don't fully know the extent of who we're dealing with. He's so deep... you just never seem to hit the bottom, no matter how much swimming you do. And if you do find the bottom, it's pointless - by then, you're dead. _

[**Map of the Stars**] :: **28.** Haha, it's okay. When I saw that you reviewed I pretty much had the same reaction. So, y'know. We can be pathetic together. _Ivan Braginski: [/hugs Map back] Aww~ I missed you too! _I miss writing for this too... I missed it so much, I actually rewrote a couple of the just for the purpose of nostaglia. XD Ah, well. Trust me, if I was in your shoes, I'd do the same thing. I overshoot stuff all of the time. Well, I'd be pretty ticked if you were just about to get your way with a certain Dane and suddenly Amelia gets in the way. (Which also explains why Maiken shockingly has no problem with Jeanette. Neither of them are terribly fond of Amelia.) Yeah, it's so. That's why Gilbert was freaking out so bad during chapter... 10? Yeah. 10. Renate is Austria, Chantal is Switzerland. I remember that because Chantal reminds me of Rapunzel (contray to popular fan design, my Fem!Switzy has a long French braid. That was Switzerland Kiku was talking to. Believe it or not, you know how in my profile I have SwissSushi [Chantal x Kiku] has one of my favorite pairings? Yeah. Past pairing. (That's why Chantal was all awkward and protective of him.) Well, in this case, she IS a dress-wearing (on occasion, but still) mountain dancing female! So, good job Kiku! LOL. Oh really? _Yong-Soo Im: Phew! Peter's such a little man-bitch at times, I don't think that would work out for us anyway! :D_ Oh, geez, that's genius. At this point, Arthur Kirkland is seriously becoming a Launcher of A Thousand Ships in this story. Because there's Jeanette/Arthur, Matilda/Arthur, Amelia/Arthur, Lovino/Arthur, Yao/Arthur... _Aeden Kirkland: And Arthur gets all on Declan's (Austrialia~!) nerves for being a player. =_= This emote is now the universal sign for hypocrites. _Wooo! Pairings! [/waves around various pairing flags] Okay, I'm gonna skip around a bit because once I read the Scotland/Sealand/Arthur thing I just kinda fell in love. See, it traditionally is where Aeden and Arthur get along, and Adrian and Aisling get along. (Peter gets along with the older two, Aeden and Aisling) so having Adrian defend Arthur is like, WHOA, WAIT A SEC. WHAT ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AM I IN? No, it's not. And I SO hate when people do that to him. Chantal and Lovino again? That's fine. Because the more I think about that, the more interesting it becomes. PLUS, Chantal and Lovino do a little matchmaking of their own, and they conspire together so... A family that schemes together, stays together? Okay, okay, okay. Ooh~ Brynja and Amelia vs. Brynja and Feliciano? DANG. That Brynja and Amelia is severely tempting. I could totally set up one of those no-it's-not-what-you-think-it-is sort of situations. And - ohmygod. This may be a running gag or something, I totally forgot - Maiken and Brynja are FACEBOOK ENGAGED. Aw hell. I'm probably gonna go Brynja/Amelia now. Thanks for that! XD LOL - if Arthur suddenly jumps to Matilda's aid like that, d'you know how many people are going to be all "OMG - It's Wilkland all over again!" As APH is seriously torn over the Amelia/Arthur/Jeanette love triangle, the fact that Matilda and Lovino are neutral third-parties are kind of a godsend to them. (Which is the reason Mattie/Arthur and Lovino/Arthur have a crazy amount of support in the story - they don't have to choose anymore!) Ahaha, enjoy the next chapter! I will see you in... IDK, 3 seconds? XD** 29. **It holds massive significance. If Zima is the surname alias he used, and we already know his last name is Winter... then don't you think Nachalo could be an alias for his first name? :D No, I like hearing your theories and WHOA. That's a freakin' GREAT theory. :0 Well, Thanatos has no real reason to be there. He's only there to act as a support system. He's always been his brother's right-hand. Nope. Than and the Hacker are two different people. Than wasn't sending HIMSELF messages. XD Frick yes. Amerimark. Oh, totally! That's the whole reason they're bitchfighting now! Actually, now we get to the whole Jeanette/Arthur/Matilda situation down below it, Amelia intercepts a LOT of things. Okay. Let me explain. Jeanette and Amelia have been going after Arthur since like, the beginning of time. Well, not really. Since the beginning of high school for Amelia, at least. Well, turns out that Matilda liked him too - so once they figured this out, they backed off and pretty much gave him to Mattie. Except Jeanette hadn't ACTUALLY been playing on them staying together for more than a month - and certainly not as long as they did - so she was rather pissed off about it. That was her snarky way of retaliating. So yes, Arthur, she IS very bitter about it. XD Psh. If only this were a class. "How to write Fanfiction". That would be GLORIOUS. No, I'm not going to disregard it. I LOVE hearing everyone's theories and guesses - it's great. _Chereneko Braginski: Why can't we just TELL them, Akane? _Because it's no FUN. That's what other fanfictions do and THIS is no other fanfiction, mister!

[**Nitedream**] :: I'm horrible at fanfiction character death for some reason, because I mean, they're not MINE. But my own? Psh. I can kill them left and right and have no problem with it. What? You have Romania crack pairings? OMG - give them to me. Because I'm totally making a Romania appear. He has his own mini-arc lined up - Romaniac! And holy crap - Macau is a canon character? And Portugal's NOT? [/would totally marry the country of Portugal because I love its history and stuff] And oh-my-God, Macau is SO cute. He's like Estonia - but Asian. But yeah. Romania is SO there. In fact... I might introduce you to him right now. **TO ALL READERS: MEET ROMANIA~!** _Remus Anghelescu: ... Hmm? You called me? _Yeah. Introduce yourself to the readers, Remus. _Remus Anghelescu: Ah. Buna ziua. My name is Remus... although she did just inform you of this herself... I'm quite honored to be here. [/looks up] __I'm not smiling. I'm well aware you want me to smile. _I wasn't about to ask you to, Remus. It's perfectly fine. (It's the fangs. He's actually NOT trying to be creepy, so he doesn't smile. Also - for the sake of it, I think there may be A Bonnefoy House 1.5 - with our newly made magician trio in it - the Magic trio being Arthur, Maiken and Remus.)

[**TheGuardianKnux**] :: :D Really? Shockingly, I read back through this and I'm like this the whole time I was in the Bonnefoy Houe arc: "Damn. NOW I think of a better way to end that." Really. I hate how you think it's so clever then and a bit later, it's suddenly not as clever. Happens to me all the time. The Hacker gets his day in court right now - you FINALLY get a good glimpse at who he is. I'm so excited! Geez, I've been waiting for you to guess who he is, so when he comes back you'll know him a LOT better. Once you know him, it's easier to understand why he goes to such lengths the next time around. Oh, have no fear! We are SO going back. We kind of have to... because if we DON'T, then a certain future arc will have no driving force whatsoever. Even though, the reasoning in that arc kind of sucks regardless. _Jeanette Bonnefoy: I almost don't want to return... but I can't leave that place the way it was. I refuse. I can't. I must go on - I must make them rest, so we all can. _Ironic statement, now that I mull that over, Jean... Hmm. :D

[**xTaffyRin**] :: Yup, Russian and Belarusian have pretty much been the only languages I've used so far... good job pointing that out! OHMYGOD. When I read these, especially Thanatos's because you NAILED it. Nachalo's is pretty close - he's actually only three years older than Than, and Than is 16. But yeah, he does like overpowering and controling his victims. He likes TEACHING them too, because then his way is the only way they know (he taught Ivan how to love, if that shows you anything.) and he feels even MORE in control. He's a control freak, yeah, even though he's just as unpredictable as the people he hates to control the most. And he is a guy, yes. And actually, Nachalo does stand out a bit with his hair because he changes it up so often - right now, it's white and long, but those are hair extensions (yes... he's got extensions. So manly. XD) Okay, and now one of the BEST. SUGGESTIONS. EVER. Matilda and Lovino, bonding? HECK YES! Ohmygod. Okay. That is a seriously great idea. And then you should have seen me when I saw the love square idea. I almost fell out of my chair fangirling. That is SERIOUSLY godly. I could use that love square for something - like relationship wrenches? OH HELL YES. My mind is BLOWN by the possibilities! Mattie, dearie, you're getting a new friend. _Matilda Williams: W... Why? I mean, yes, I know Lovino, but... a love square? Th-That's a bit much... _It's either the love square or I was going to make Ludwig chase you. (That was a legit thought.) No joke.

[**secretassassingirl**] :: LOL. At least you're happy! Ooh, really? Who doesn't love a good mystery, as I'm currently indulging myself in Nancy Drew (the books, not the movie - I didn't care for it). You retrace those steps, girl! Just as long as you don't hit water, you'll be fine. _Thanatos Winter: Water has, so far, served no one too well... and I'm sure you don't want to join Svetlana Braginskaya in eternal sleep, now do you? No you don't. _He teases - of course, he's harmless. Not so much about the water. I wouldn't jump in either - if someone says the water's fine, I'd back away, right, Yao? _Yao Wang: ... Aiyah. -_- Right, aru. Don't get TOO wrapped up, you'll regret it. _Words to the wise, I'd say. Enjoy your search. ;D (P.S. I'm not trying to scare you, really. I'm just foreshadowing.)

[**cryingcarebear**] :: O_O You... noticed? ADM, you deserve a hug or twenty. Honda! Get in on this hug fest! _Kiku Honda: I ... A-Alright... [/hugs her]_ See? Fellow Kingdom Hearts fans, unite! [/grabs Follow The Wind keyblade and aims it at the sky] Well, you know, if Keyblades weren't so trite and overused by the OC community, this is the one I'd have. What about you, Kiku? _Kiku Honda: I personally prefer the Kingdom Key... however, that is just me. _Ah, traditional, aren't you? I do like the Kingdom Key, but this one just fits me better. Oh, have at this! Why are we discussing keyblades (even though they are badass)? Kiku, readers, and I - ONWARD WITH THE PLOT! (Oh, random little known fact: Kiku bought Chantal a Kingdom Key pendant that she still wears, even now. That's why she uses the insult - he introduced it to her.) _Kiku Honda: Yes, onward!_

* * *

**session thirty** :: i don't wanna care right now [_lupe fiasco_]

- saturday, september 6th

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: Start or Beginning (since I mean, they mean literally the same thing...)

**conclusion** :: Like I said, this one was almost painfully simple. The first clue was merely to decode the meaning of Nachalo, Nachalo meaning "beginning/start". The second clue is what Thanatos calls the Hacker - he calls him Genesis. Genesis also means beginning, as it's used in the bible (Genesis is the first book in the Bible) and how it's used as a word (the genesis of anything is its beginning). There's also a third way. If you look up Thanatos's name, you'll discover that he's named for the Greek god of death. Since death is an end, and the Hacker seems to be quite opposite from Thanatos, you could draw the conclusion that his own name must mean beginning.

**question** :: _so who exactly IS the hacker?  
_

**hint** :: You're armed with QUITE a bit of information now. You know that the Hacker's last name is Winter, you know his first name is Genesis, you know what one of his nicknames is - Gen - and you know that THIS nickname could also be a shorter form of ANOTHER nickname of his... so... who could is POSSIBLY be? :)

* * *

**(Mobile) Leticia Guerra**: Oh my God. She should have at least called me by now - WTF?

**Raquel Cabral**: You're such a worry-wart, Ticia~ Maybe she's unpacking.

**Leticia Guerra**: But it doesn't take much effort to, you know, whip out your phone and say "Yo, Ticia, estoy en Anchorage Park ahora." Now DOES it?

**Raquel Cabral**: Talvez ela não gosta de você.

**Leticia Guerra**: Sua puta, cala a boca!

**Raquel Cabral**: Você está mal! Tão mal!

**Leticia Guerra**: Ugh. Where in the name of Carmen Sandiego is Imelda?

**Raquel Cabral**: Avoiding you? :D

**Leticia Guerra**: Good grief, you're annoying. -_-

* * *

**(Mobile) Imelda Suarez**: I leave my Facebook for ten minutes and I get spammed with a bunch of Portuguese BS. I don't even SPEAK this language.

[**Emilio Mendoza**_ likes this_]

**(Mobile) Leticia Guerra**: Oh, finally! Your cousin finally got up and helped you move?

**Imelda Suarez**: Si. Took a while to convince her to get off of YouTube and stop watching some guy named Tobuscus.

**Emilio Mendoza**: ADM. Tobuscus is so funny.

**Leticia Guerra**: Nah, Smosh is funnier. XD

**Emilio Mendoza**: Oh please, they're such posers.

**Leticia Guerra**: Your mom's a poser.

**Emilio Mendoza**: Your cousin's a poser. XP

**Leticia Guerra**: Cadela! TAKE THAT BACK.

**Imelda Suarez**: ADM. CALLENTE PERRITAS.

**(Mobile) Araceli Herrara**: ... THIS is the exact reason I was against getting a Facebook, you guys...

[**Raquel Cabral **_and _**4** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Imelda Suarez** || **Omorose Hassan**: Oye, Rosa.

**Omorose Hassan**: Hm?

**Imelda Suarez**: I'm going across the street for a bit towards the swimming pool.

**Omorose Hassan**: Don't stay out too long... if you need anything call me, okay?

**Imelda Suarez**: Si, Rosa. Adios.

**Omorose Hassan**: أراكم قريبا ، ذلك الحين.

**Imelda Suarez**: For the last time. I DON'T SPEAK EGYPTIAN.

**Omorose Haassan**: Sigh. It's Arabic...

* * *

**(Mobile) Imelda Suarez**: ... What the hell? Who goes swimming at this time of night?

[**Raquel Cabral **_likes this_]

**(Mobile) Raquel Cabral**: I'm moonbathing right now! :D

**(Mobile) Leticia Guerra**: [/insert rolling eyes emote here]

**Imelda Suarez**: No, en serio. Hang on, I'm ducking behind the bushes to investigate.

**Leticia Guerra**: Tudo bem, Sherlock Suarez.

[**Rosario de la Cruz **_and _**1** _other_ _like this_]

**Imelda Suarez**: Aha, aha. Eres tan divertida. Now I'm going to ignore you.

**Rosario de la Cruz**: You bitches need lives. Seriously.

**Imelda Suarez**: I know, right?

**Rosario de la Cruz**: Oye Commie Chica, you need one too.

**Imelda Suarez**: You Mexicans wish you could have it like we Cubans do. XP

**Rosario de la Cruz**: I don't need to be repressed any more, thanks.

**Imelda Suarez**: ... What the hell is this now?

**Imelda Suarez**: More people?

**Leticia Guerra**: Eh? I don't know what goes on in AP, go ask my cousin Antonio.

**Imelda Suarez**: You helpful little Portuguese slut. -_- You annoy me. XP

[**Rosario de la Cruz** _likes this_]

**Leticia Guerra**: Say that again. I dare you. In case you haven't noticed, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

**Omorose Hassan**: And no, Imelda, I'm not going to hide you either. :)

[**Leticia Guerra **_likes this_]

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo **_is now friends with _**Imelda Suarez**.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Does anyone know who that is?

**Lovino Vargas**: Sounds familiar. -_-

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Yes, because you have ties to the community. -_-

[**Arthur** **Kirkland** _and_ **7** _others__like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Imelda Suarez**: So. You're Antonio Carriedo? Leticia's cousin?

**Antonio Carriedo**: That I am! :D Hola! Gusto en conocerlo!

**Imelda Suarez**: Igualmente. So, apparently you're the man to go to for all things Anchorage Park-related, si?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Si, chica! What do you need to know?

**Imelda Suarez**: I'm on Bogota Boulevard, right? And there's a freaking swimming pool across the street and two cars just pulled up to it. There's some guy around there. He's got a hood on, so I can't see.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Hmmm~ That's suspiscious!

**Antonio Carriedo**: I have a hunch... let me go ask someone something?

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo **|| **Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Gilbert?

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... Ah... Gilbert?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Oh, no... Donde esta el?

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt **|| **Yao Wang**: Go, Yao, go.

**Yao Wang**: ... Tell Ivan to be careful.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Yeah. Yeah, Wang, I'll tell him. Now, go!

* * *

**(Mobile) Imelda Suarez**: I'm taking cover behind a trellis. I don't think I'm being noticed.

**Antonio Carriedo**: How's everything?

**Imelda Suarez**: People are just getting out of the car... the hooded one, the one already there is walking towards the gate...

**Imelda Suarez**: Damn. That one guy is freaking TALL.

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... Wearing a scarf?

**Imelda Suarez**: It's like you're hiding with me. O_O How did you know?

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... Just a guess. ...

**Imelda Suarez**: They're talking. The hooded one and the tall one. I don't know about what.

**(Mobile) Maximilian van der Meer**: Isn't it amoral to spy on people?

**Mina van der Meer**: Like you have the right to talk about morality and SPYING! ;) You're like a little ninja!

**Maximilian van der Meer**: Don't say that like you're not guilty, Mina~

**Mina van der Meer**: What's going on exactly? I keep hearing things.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Well, I'm trying to figure that out.

**Imelda Suarez**: Mierde! Oh, dios, that was close.

**Imelda Suarez**: Fucker has a GUN.

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... Wait, what?

**Imelda Suarez**: The hooded one. He has a gun. He just fired it near me. Oh, God...

**Antonio Carriedo**: Imelda... I think you should get out.

**Imelda Suarez**: ... No.

**Mina van der Meer**: Imelda, is it? This sounds dangerous. I think you should leave too. Let the police handle it.

**Imelda Suarez**: If someone dies, I'm not going to forgive myself. I'm going to stay.

**(Mobile) Matilda Williams**: I'm with you, Imelda.

[**Imelda Suarez** _likes this_]

**Imelda Suarez** ... Thanks. Thanks a lot. That really means something.

* * *

**(Mobile) Imelda Suarez**: ... What the hell is this person?

**(Mobile) Yao Wang**: I could ask you the same question, aru.

**Imelda Suarez**: Duck you, they're walking this way.

**Yao Wang**: Move over, I'm coming by you.

**Imelda Suarez**: Who the hell are you anyway?

**Yao Wang**: Save the introductions for later... This isn't the time.

**Imelda Suarez**: Fine. But I BETTER get an explanation.

**Yao Wang**: ... Fine.

* * *

**Antonio Carriedo**: I haven't heard from Imelda in about 5 minutes...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Mon amie? Who exactly is this Imelda?

**Antonio Carriedo**: She's Leticia's friend! She just moved here, actually.

**Andersen Densen**: YES. This is the start of the season, then!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Que? What season?

**Andersen Densen**: You know how we always seem to get a mini-flood of new kids every school year? It's starting. XD

**Peter Kirkland**: Yes! Fresh meat! XD

**Andersen Densen**: ^ Ironic statement, coming from YOU, lil' Pete.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Okay, Imelda's telling me stuff again. Phew! I was almost worried. :D

**Antonio Carriedo**: Oh no... she's saying he saw them. The hooded one saw her and Yao.

**Raquel Cabral**: NO!

**(Mobile) Leticia Guerra**: You're kidding right? She's kidding with us, right?

**Mina van der Meer**: I told her to be careful!

**Antonio Carriedo**: She'll send me more information. I know she will...

* * *

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones** || **Arthur Kirkland**: OMG. You did it! You did it! You totally saved me from having to kill Nikita! Sure I had to tie Mattie up in a closet, and I had to hold a gun to Nikita's head and I had towatch him glare at me and I swear to God, he almost started crying, but you totally saved me from being a murderer. I am completely and utterly in love with you forever and ever and ever, you sexy awesome beast!

**Arthur Kirkland**: WHAT?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Aww, SHITAKE MUSHROOMS. I clicked the wrong name. Ahaha…

**Arthur Kirkland**: AMELIA WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

**Amelia F. Jones**: It's an inside joke between me and Gilbert! Everything is!

**Amelia F. Jones**: Except for that last sentence.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Cause you are SO a sexy awesome beast. Yes, you are!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Ah… thank… you, Amelia? :)

**Amelia F. Jones**: No problem, love. BTW, you look totally sexy in whatever you wearing.

**Arthur Kirkland**: You don't know what I'm wearing, silly... :)

**Amelia F. Jones**: EXACTLY. You look sexy regardless! :D

* * *

**(Mobile) Imelda Suarez**: ... Antonio?

**Lovino Vargas**: Oi, you're back.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Imelda! What happened now? You say that the Hacker found his phone again and then...

**Imelda Suarez**: He found Yao. He would have had me too, but Yao shoved me in the bushes and gave himself up.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Yao...

**Kiku Honda**: Yao-kun? Why is he over there? He shouldn't be...

**Mei Wang**: Damn it, Yao! You lied. You said nothing was going to happen to you!

[**Antonio Carriedo** _likes this_]

**Imelda Suarez**: Yao went over to the guy with the hood and started talking to him, and he's holding the gun. Then the hooded one tells the tall one to stay back and he refuses.

**Antonio Carriedo**: That's Ivan, by the way, Imelda. It'll be easier to us to understand it.

[**Chereneko Braginski** _likes this_]

**Chereneko Braginski**: I can't believe this is happening all over again...

**Yong-Soo Im**: ... Hmph.

**Imelda Suarez**: So the hooded one eventually pins Ivan to one of the lounge chairs and I think he handcuffed him there. Then Ivan suddenly yelled out, "Jen" or "Gen" - I don't know, and he took his free hand and ripped the hood off. And the hooded one - well, not anymore though - said, "About time you remembered me!" and went over to talk to the other two. Yao and this one guy whose hair is really, really white.

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Gen?

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Oh GOD. I know what that's short for... damn! Why is he BACK? Chereneko, WHY is he back?

**Chereneko Braginski**: I don't know! I have no idea...

**Antonio Carriedo**: G-Gilbert? Is that other person - is his name Gilbert, Imelda?

**Imelda Suarez**: I don't know. ... I'm sorry, if he is your Gilbert.

**Antonio Carriedo**: Why?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Imelda - you can't be - WHY ARE YOU SORRY, IMELDA?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Antonio! Calm down. I'm sure it's nothing.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: It... is nothing, right?

**Imelda Suarez**: I don't know. I don't know. He just fell. The one with the gun just went up and hit him and he fell...

**Yong-Soo Im**: ...

**Antonio Carriedo** Oh, dios, no...

**Renate Edelstein**: Gilbert you idiot. You stupid, stupid, IDIOT.

**Imelda Suarez**: ... SHIT! I have to get over there. I have to get over there now.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: You shouldn't do anything rash.

**Imelda Suarez**: He just pushed Yao into the pool. I need to go over now.

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... But Imelda? Yao can swim.

[**Mei Wang** _and _**11** _others like this_]

**Imelda Suarez**: ... Antonio. Even I can't swim with handcuffs on...

* * *

**special agent akane**: Okay, let me give you a guide to South America/Latin America/Portugal/Caribbean, first off.

- **Imelda Suarez** :: Cuba

**- Leticia Guerra** :: Portugal

- **Raquel Cabral** :: Brazil

- **Rosario de la Cruz** :: Mexico

- **Araceli Herrera** :: Argentina

- **Emilio Mendoza** :: Venezuela

**special agent akane**: Second off, the reason they're in this chapter and the next one is because of Imelda, who will officially become an APH member in chapter 32. Chances of you seeing them again is high, but they won't be major. Most likely, the next time you see Leticia, Raquel, Rosario, Araceli or Emilio again is either a cameo appearance in Around The World In Seven Days or a more in-depth appearance in Back To The Bonnefoy House (Leticia MIGHT be Antonio's connection back to the rest of APH since Yao is joining the Bonnefoy house crew). Third off, after Tsunderes Unite! and The Bad Touch arc, there will be a mini-arc (probably 2-3 chapters long) involving a newly introduced character: Romania. Because I have officially fallen in love with him (yes, Romania will be a guy.) I have his name all picked out and everything. Also, for that mini-arc, there will be some serious Twilight-bashing/defending. So... yeah. Get ready for that. PLUS, Romania has some well-needed info about the Bonnefoy house. Good thing he's my little paranormal expert.

**special agent akane**: Au reviour. Oh, and P.S. - A certain HACKER is going to be answering your reviews with me next time - I managed to pin him down long enough to do so. So, if you have anything you wish to tell him, do so. He'll be waiting. ;D

[**special agent akane** _has logged off_]


	31. 45

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

Oh, wait. There's a BUNCH to say. The reason I've been absent is simple: life promptly decided to kick me in the ass. _HARD._ Things got complicated fast, and I either had no time to write or wasn't inspired to. It was seriously depressing - I wanted to write but was utterly drained of any inspiration to do so. And thinking about all of you, wondering whether this story was dead, I felt like I was letting you all down, and for that, I seriously, seriously apologize. Now to mention some things briefly:

1) I'm starting a new project called Poker Face. I wanted to write something dark, edgy and possibly disturbing: that, and I really wanted to see if I could jump-start a sort-of 2P! revolution. See, when writing this I noticed a bit of a spike in Lovino/Arthur fanfics (which made me so very happy. I really love that pairing.) and I was hoping I could prod the fandom into seeing the massive amount of potential 2P! holds. Now, some people have some really great ideas considering this - but it's a little disappointing to look for 2P! fanfictions and find almost NOTHING but _gorn. _(Gorn = Gore + Porn, BTW)

2) I love this story, I really do. But a lot of the fanon and new information thought up by the fandom contradicts quite a bit of what's it this story and some of it I really do love. That, and new information is coming out from CANON sources so things may change a bit. If you'd like to see various head canon that I've either thought of or just like, it's on my profile. I really only have it filled out for AMERICA, CANADA and ENGLAND at the moment. Scotland's is next, followed by Wales and Ireland might take a while due to new canon input. So, if you notice some little changes here and there, that's me trying to update to fit the new info. (On an unrelated note: expect new characters! Like India with his badass Bollywood self. Between him, Macau and Romania... I don't know who's my new favorite. :D)

3) I apologize (again) for the accidental self-promoting. I really don't like doing that unless I need input for a particular part of the story - I'm not going to spam my author notes with "OMG to lyk finish this sotry I need MORE REVIEWS!11! REVIEW OR YOU'LL DIE!" And may I also mention that the sentence before this was PAINFUL to write? Ick.

4) I've been trolling around on Fanfiction for a while before I started writing again, really, and I just have to say... we have a GREAT fandom. We're highly united and far more respecting of each other's personal opinions and thoughts than other fandoms that are around here... (Kingdom Hearts, I'm looking at YOU. YES, YOU.) Very few things divide us and even less are things we start arguments or god forbid flame wars over: and I just realized how much I appreciate that in this fandom. You guys rock. Really! ^_^

And now that all of THAT is over, now you can enjoy!

* * *

**chapter thirty-one** :: 45 [_shinedown_]

- saturday, september 6th

* * *

**PROBLEM SOLVING:**

**answer** :: Genesis "General" Winter

**conclusion** :: Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. Mostly ladies. I don't think I've ever had a male reviewer. The answer to all problems, the devil haunting us since the beginning of this arc... is General Winter, gracefully swooping in to make Ivan's life a living hell. Glorious. He fits both clues, unlike his brother who only fits the fact that his last name is Winter... and Thanatos also isn't on the archive character list. General Winter IS. (This is a clue I introduced towards the beginning.) Now... for one. last. question.

**question** :: _how does general survive?  
_

**hint** :: Since this is the last question for this arc, I'm going to give you a little change for some WMG. Wild Mass Guessing. Remember that little vote back in chapter 24 when I asked you whether to let him live or not? Swingo. He lives and comes back later for more. If you haven't starting regretting that discussion NOW, you probably will very soon. Either way, be as inventive as you want. I want to see if someone actually gets close to what I had planned. And if you're right, I'll think of something to give you.

* * *

**Peter Kirkland**: Well, this sucks.

[**Arthur Kirkland **_and_** 14 **_others like this_]

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: We really shouldn't be doing this ourselves... the police could have handled this much better.

**(Mobile) Tino Vainamoinen**: I normally save the sarcastic laughter for Maiken or Brynja but... HA.

[**Berwald Oxenstierna **_and _**7** _others like this_]

**Mei Wang**: Oh my Gosh, do something! Please!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Ay... that didn't sound good...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Wah! What is it now?

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: Seriously? Imelda, tell those four to get some common sense so that way Renate can stop panicking. Don't know why she is, but she is.

**Antonio Carriedo**: I... can't... she's gone again.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Get her back on! Renate's about to cry.

**Antonio Carriedo****: **I can't. She hung up on me all of a sudden, and all I heard was a gun shot.

**Liane Zwingli**: Oh... no...

[**Omorose Hassan** _and _**10** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Leticia Guerra**: N-No... n-no...

**Antonio Carriedo**: Ticia...

**Raquel Cabral**: I can't stand Imelda sometimes. She's too reckless for her own good.

**Leticia Guerra**: ... You have NO right to talk about someone else. None. Whatsoever.

[**Rosario de la Cruz **_and _**5** _others like this_]_  
_

* * *

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: Okay~ I have good news and bad news.

**Mei Wang**: Good news first! Good news first!

**Madara Galante**: I'd much rather hear good news right about now too...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Actually, shouldn't we hear the bad news first...?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Good news first it is! :)

[**Madara Galante **_and _**1** _other likes this_]

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: People just do not listen to you, mon ami...

[**Peter Kirkland** _and _**14** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: [/sigh] I know, right? It's really quite pathetic, especially when I'm RIGHT.

**Adrian Kirkland**: OY. Stop changing the subject, I'm on here to figure WHY YE BE BLOWING UP MY PHONE.

[**Aeden Kirkland** _and _**5** _others like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Welcome to Socialization101. Lesson 1: If you want to be a loner, don't register into a social networking site.

[**Lovino Vargas** _and _**23** _others like this_]

**Kiku Honda**: What is the news, Antonio-san?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Well. Imelda's alive and perfectly okay!

**Rosario de la Cruz**: Finally! LETICIA STOP SPAMMING ME WITH YOUR NONSENSE.

**Leticia Guerra**: I'm seriously concerned. I have a reason to be this discontent.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Now what is the bad news?

**Antonio Carriedo**: ... Don't kill me, I'm just the messenger... but... Imelda didn't get shot... Amelia did.

**Andersen Densen**: NO...

[**Adrian Kirkland **_and _**18** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: Oh, that's not good.

**(Mobile) Renate Edelstein**: Thank you, Chantal for being so BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. -_-

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt **_and _**8** _others like this_]

**Chantal Zwingli**: I'm sorry, I can't help it when you decide to stress yourself out over something you have no control over. Don't you tell me twice a day how obnoxious Gilbert is? And yet you're going to get mad at me because you can't keep your head straight?

**Chantal Zwingli**: And don't you DARE tell me it's Amelia... you don't care for her and I know this.

**Renate Edelstein**: He's still my family, even if he's obnoxious.

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt** _and _**15** _others like this_]

**Chantal Zwingli**: You can still calm down just a little. Gilbert's not useless and he doesn't constantly needed to be looked after like you think. He's fully capable of functioning.

**Renate Edelstein**: Is he now. Since when?

**Chantal Zwingli**: You're just mad because I'm not brunette and Hungarian, and I don't bend to your every will and whim, your Highness.

[**Lule Adnan **_and _**7** _others like this_]

**Omorose Hassan**: ... Is this normal with them?

**(Mobile) Anri van der Meer**: NO. Ohmygod, I leave for a few minutes to cook and THIS happens? Why?!

**(Mobile) Hendrik van der Meer**: Don't ask me. I'm just here eating your waffles.

**Anri van der Meer**: Okay... but don't eat ALL of them this time. I want some too, you know! X|

[**Antonio Carriedo **_likes this_]

**Brynja Stilesson**: O_O Damn...

**Feliciano Vargas**: V-Ve? What's going on~? :(

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Well... they're not arguing on Facebook anymore...

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Oh, God, they're not yelling at each other are they?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Unfortunately. I came hear them from my bedroom.

**Kiku Honda**: I hope Chantal isn't upset too much... she can become very unstable and angry...

**Lule Adnan**: Emphasis on unstable.

[**Liane Zwingli **_and _**6** _others like this_]

**Anri van der Meer**: Poor Ludwig. Invest in sound-proofing your windows!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: I'm definitely considering it...

[**Feliciano Vargas **_likes this_]

**(Mobile) Maiken Bondevik**: Wait. Where's Antonio? Did he get off again?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I believe so... he had better not go over there...

**Leticia Guerra**: ... No one is anyone near Antonio, are they?

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Ooh, no. Someone MAY want to check up on him...

**(Mobile) Hera Karpusi**: On it...!

**Lule Adnan**: And don't take all damn week, either! DX

* * *

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: Ouch.

**Madara Galante**: ?

**Peter Kirkland**: Arthur and Adrian. Adrian flipped shit when he heard about Amelia and Arthur had to tackle him to keep him from leaving. Now I think they're both trying to keep each other from leaving. Arthur's restraining Adrian and telling him why he shouldn't go, but I think he's trying to convince himself too.

**Lovino Vargas**: ...

* * *

**Lovino Vargas** _is now friends with _**Peter Kirkland**.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Yay~ Make friends, fratellino!

[**Lovino Vargas **_likes this_]

* * *

**Lovino Vargas **|| **(Mobile) ****Peter Kirkland**: Oye. Ask... Ask Arthur if he needs me... over there since apparently...

**Peter Kirkland**: Asking!

**Peter Kirkland**: He wants to know why.

**Lovino Vargas**: Just... J-just because the bastard might want a friend.

**Peter Kirkland**: He said he loves you.

**Lovino** **Vargas**: CHE? N-N-N-NO HE DOESN'T!

**Peter Kirkland**: Oops... He said he'd love THAT. As in you coming over. Sorry! :D I didn't hear him right!

**Lovino Vargas**: D-Dio... mio dio, l-listen before you tell me shit like that, dammit!

**Lovino Vargas****: **Tell him I'll BTS.

**Peter Kirkland**: Sure. :D

* * *

**Peter Kirkland**: Vargas just got TROLLED...! :3

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and_ **9** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: FFFFFF - PETER, GODDAMNIT!

**Peter Kirkland**: Hahahahaha, I am VICTORIOUS!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Really? You're not a singer and you don't go to an art school in Hollywood...

[**Tino Vainamoinen **_and _**4** _others like this_]

**Peter Kirkland**: Not funny! :\

* * *

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: Amelia news everyone~! Amelia news!

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: Okkka.

**Antonio Carriedo**: ?

**Chantal Zwingli**: Sorry. Renate keeps distracting me.

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: That was fast. You guys fight and make up like a Katy Perry song.

**Chantal Zwingli**: Oh, eat your damn heart out, Hungarian.

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: I don't get it. What did I do again? :\

[**Anri van der Meer **_likes this_]

**Peter Kirkland**: HEY EVERYONE. STFU and tell me what's going on! Arthur and Adrian won't leave me alone about it!

**Antonio Carriedo**: Amelia did get shot, but she saved Yao in the process. She was outside of the pool gate, keeping an eye on them, and she climbed the fence, ran over and jumped in. The strange man shot her in the shoulder while she was jumping but she just... kept swimming. She kept swimming until she pulled Yao out.

[**Peter Kirkland **_and _**30** _others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: What...? Yay!

**Lule Adnan**: Wow...

**(Mobile) Laima Lauriniatis**: Not surprising... it IS Amelia... :)

**Peter Kirkland**: AWESOME~

**Maiken Bondevik**: ... Impressive.

**Mei Wang**: Yes! Yes! Thank you, Amelia, thank you!

**Leticia Guerra**: Go Amelia. :)

**Xiang Wang**: Cool. So big bro's okay.

**(Mobile) Chernenko Braginski**: Yong-Soo and I actually saw it... it was pretty amazing. The Hacker was even shocked by it.

[**Andersen Densen **_and _**10 **_others like this_]

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: I knew there was a reason I liked that girl. ^_^

**Andersen Densen**: Atta girl! You SHOW that mother who's boss!

[**Elizabeta Hedervary **_and _**2** _others like this_]

**Peter Kirkland**: Arthur is almost in tears he's so impressed! Or just relieved.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Fratello can fix that! Right, fratello?

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: FELICIANO. Shut. Your. Ass.

**Peter Kirkland**: LOL, Lovino. Yelling at your phone does nothing!

* * *

**Lule Adnan** || **Jeanette** **Bonnefoy**: Mad yet?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Mon amie~ why would I be mad?

**Lule Adnan**: Well, Amelia's not dead.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Really. Everyone says I hate her, I do NOT hate her. She is just... in the way.

**Lule Adnan**: Maiken hates her guts though...

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: That is because it was rumored that they slept together. If you heard that the boy you've been crushing on for years suddenly abandons any and all sense to chase after, date, and then sleep with a girl after three months, wouldn't you hate her too?

**Lule Adnan**: She should have done something then! Gee. If I told you who I have a crush on right now and told me to go do something about it, I would!**  
**

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Who is it then?

**Lule Adnan**: Elizabeta.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: But... you know her past with Renate, don't you?

**Lule Adnan**: Oh, I know. It's kind of because of me that they were together in the first place.

**Lule Adnan**: But this is kind of a recent thing.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I think it's adorable.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Now do something about it.

**Lule Adnan**: ... ...

**Lule Adnan**: That's good. That's really good. You totally got me on that one - I give you my temporary respect.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: See? I am no dumb blond~

* * *

**(Mobile) Antonio Carriedo**: ... Um. You guys. I think this is over...

**Mei Wang**: What you talking about?

**Antonio Carriedo**: The Hacker's dead.

[**Andersen Densen **_and _**20 **_others like this_]

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Dead. How...?

**Antonio Carriedo**: Imelda says he shot himself. In the heart.

**Peter Kirkland**: Wait a second... Tino told me that men don't usually shoot themselves in the heart.

**Madara Galante**: He... t-told you that?

**Peter Kirkland**: Tino likes Law & Order. We watch it sometimes when I sleep over! :D

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: I don't see how this is relavent, Peter...

**(Mobile) Tino Vainamoinen**: Men usually shoot themselves in the head or through the mouth when committing suicide. Women usually shoot themselves in the heart...

**Antonio Carriedo**: Well... he did.

**Eduard von Bock**: How did Ivan take that?

**Antonio Carriedo**: I don't know, nothing from her about anyone else.

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: But that was so... that's not right. Why he drag up through all of that... and then just off himself? That's not the General Winter I remember...

**Renate Edelstein**: You knew this guy?

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Because of Gilbert. Remember how I told you that Ivan was messing with him? Well, it turns out that GENERAL was messing with Ivan. All of those off-the-wall theories and stuff he spouts? General's doing. The reason why he has a little harem of people? General told him to. The boy's been screwing with him since his mom disappeared.

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _and _**11** _others like this_]

**Renate Edelstein**: ... I actually feel sorry for him.

**(Mobile) Chantal Zwingli**: You actually feel sorry for the guy. I don't believe you.

**Renate Edelstein**: Did I NOT just show you how very capable I am at sentimental things?

**Chantal Zwingli**: You showed me. I just don't understand why you feel sorry for a homicidal maniac.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Showed her how~?

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Really? This is a public wall, anyone can see this!

**Chantal Zwingli**: You just don't want to hear it.

**(Mobile) Berwald Oxenstierna**: This really isn't the time and place for this... especially when before we were actually united...

[**Tino Vainamoinen **_likes this_]

**Tino Vainamoinen**: Exactly! :3

[**Berwald Oxenstierna** _likes this_]

**Alannah Kirkland**: Not to rain on any parades, but... you guys are not united. At all.

* * *

**Brynja Stilesson** || **Feliciano Vargas**: Feli. The whole Hacker drama thing just turned into CA bait. Seriously. Read this.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Whao~

**Brynja Stilesson**: They're so ridiculous it's funny.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Meeting time!

* * *

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Okay, so, like, what is UP with Chantal and Elizabeta? Chanti is constantly down her throat.

**Lule Adnan**: Because Renate and Elizabeta were, THE couple back in middle school.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Middle school?

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: As in 7th to 9th grade. Two whole years.

**Lule Adnan**: See, they got together because Elizabeta had moved and came back in 7th grade, and she made the hideous mistake of breaking my sunglasses. So, I taught her a lesson. And while she was walking home, apparently Renate saw her and took her to her house to clean her up, because I DID bust the girl up a bit...

**Brynja Stilesson**: She just broke your sunglasses. -_-

**Lule Adnan**: I was a firecracker back then. ^_^

**Lule Adnan**: Well, anyway it was the start of a beautiful friendship. And I'm not totally sure, but the more popular version is that Renate was practicing singing The Cell Block Tango and Elizabeta walked in on it.

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: That's true, actually.

**Brynja Stilesson**: How the hell do you know that, Adrian?

**Adrian Kirkland**: Because. I'm Adrian Kirkland. I know things.

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Still doesn't answer my question!

**Kiku Honda**: Chantal is terrified that Renate may still have feelings for Elizabeta and doesn't want to lose her. She may have possessed feelings for me, but Renate was always the great love of her life.

[**Lule Adnan** _and _**7** _others like this_]

**Brynja Stilesson**: That's deep.

**Feliciano Vargas**: That's so... sad...

**Lule Adnan**: I wish I could help her out, I mean, that sucks.

**Brynja Stilesson**: Status report from Peter: apparently your brother is over at the Kirkland house right now, Feliciano.

**Feliciano Vargas**: He IS? :D

**Brynja Stilesson**: Yeah. Peter's filling me in on the details. Apparently, he also "slipped up" and told Lovino that Arthur loved him. The reaction, he claims, was priceless.

**Kiku Honda**: I recommend that we add ourselves a new honorary member to Cupido Aiutanti: name, Peter Kirkland.

**Feliciano Vargas**: All in agreement like this comment~!

[**Adrian Kirkland **_and _**7** _others like this comment_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: Sending the invitation right now~

* * *

**Peter Kirkland **_has joined the group _**Cupido Aiutanti**.

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: Cool! So, uh, what is this group anyway?

**Feliciano Vargas**: We'll give you a proper initiation a little bit later, okay~?

**Peter Kirkland**: Okay!

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Nachalo Zima **|| **Thanatos Winter**: THANATOS. UNLOCK THE DAMN CAR DOOR.

**Thanatos Winter**: Mother of God, General. You scared me.

**Nachalo Zima**: Sorry. Two questions: one, was that a convincing death? And two, are you any good with scissors?

**Thanatos Winter**: You mentioned this. I'm cutting your hair right?

**Thanatos Winter**: And yeah, you are pretty good. Nice job.

**Nachalo Zima**: You're still not gonna tell me where you got it, huh.

**Thanatos Winter**: It's best you didn't know.

**Nachalo Zima**: Fine. You're telling me later, though.

**Thanatos Winter**: -_- Damn creeper. So now what? Run like all hell?

**Nachalo Zima**: No. Before we run, I want to see something first.

**Thanatos Winter**: No.

**Nachalo Zima**: I didn't even say what it was yet. :(

**Thanatos Winter**: Oh my God. NO. You are not going to see that stupid Asian kid! No, no, NO.

**Nachalo Zima**: Shishishi~

**Thanatos Winter**: NO.

**Nachalo Zima**: Shishishishi~

**Thanatos Winter**: ... Put the saw DOWN and I'll consider it...

**Nachalo Zima**: Okay.

**Thanatos Winter**: WHAT THE FUCK?! So you drop the saw onto the hood of my CAR?! BASTARD!

**Nachalo Zima**: Do as I say and you won't die.

**Thanatos Winter**: FINE! NOW GET IN AND SHUT UP!

**Nachalo Zima**: Okay, Mr. Captain. :3

**Thanatos Winter**: ... And where the hell did you get a saw from anyway?

* * *

Oh, those two. I missed writing as them, I really did. Alright, so I made a few minor changes that I'll go back and edit the rest of the chapters to fix:

ONE: Belgium's name has changed from Wilhelmina to Anri. Why? Well, for one I ended up making an original character named Wilhelmina and I didn't want to get them confused (my Wilhelmina would annoy the crap of you if I got them mixed up. Really.) and second, apparently Anri was on the list of recommended names for her on Hima-papa's blog, and I've always had a soft spot for the name Anri ever since watching Durarara! for the first time. So, I will go back and edit THAT throughout every chapter she's in.

TWO: Chereneko's name is actually spelled WRONG. (I face palmed, facedesked, and face walled once I discovered this.) The name I gave him is a recommended choice by fans for Ukraine's surname. Actually spelled Chernenko. That's C-H-E-R-N-E-N-K-O. Not. C-H-E-R-E-N-E-K-O. So that will be fixed too.

THREE: Another name change: from Aisling Kirkland for Ireland to Alannah Kirkland, simply based on preference and that at the time Aisling was the only Irish name I could think of that I could very easily spell. Alannah is simple yet still pretty, and it's an older name whereas Aisling is far more recent. I like it. ^_^ I hope you all do too.

So. Next chapter is everyone meeting up at the local hospital, loose ends are tied, friendships restored, Peter is initiated into Cupido Aiutanti (OH LORD WHAT HAVE I DONE)... and a possible rivalry. Hmm...

Until then, everyone? (Hugs and kisses to you all... I really, _really _missed you.)

[**dalca **_has logged off_]


	32. two faced lovers

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

* * *

**[TigerViking7] **LOL, Excellent guess. Although it's Winter, not White. _General Winter: I'm not Snow White. -_- _... Well, you're pretty darn close... skin as white as snow, lips as red as the rose, we just need to invest in some hair-dye and... _General Winter: [/glares] NO._ ... Maybe not. You did just get your beautiful hair cut short. That's traumatic enough.

**[Meso the Hanyu] **AWESOME. I must use that as a group. The awesome quartet. ... Well, darn Amelia. What group aren't you and Gilbert in? _Amelia F. Jones: ... I'm not in that Italian love thingy. _Oh right, no you're not. Well, it makes perfect sense for her not to answer in English... Feli hates England. Unless, you ship the Angel Pair, which I know plenty of people who do. ... A savannah monitor lizard? _Amelia F. Jones: OMG those things are SO BA! I want one... but Mattie's scared of them for SOME reason. _... Maybe because she doesn't like lizards? It's perfectly natural. I don't either. I do roleplay, although I haven't done much of it lately because my favorite roleplaying site has been overrun by noobs. It ticks me off so much... And you didn't really miss that. I added her in that chapter. ^_^ But there's your Egypt!

**[Lydiacatfish]** You were never stupid, silly. My puzzles are kind of hard when they're not MINDBLOWINGLY easy or impossible because of the freaking translator. I know, right? I love Romania. Love, love, LOVE. And I hate that there isn't enough fanart for him, although the whole 2P! craze going around is making it a little easier to find stuff for him... _Remus Anghelescu: [/waves] I don't get it, I'm not crazy... nu complet... :P_

**[Demigod1315]** Nikita scares everyone. Well, the only one you really have to remember is Imelda... she's the only one who stays. And Leticia may show up once or twice more, but that's really it. I just used them as backstory for Imelda... And no problem. Vietnam will make a guest appearance in a conversation with Jeanette before her initial appearance with Seychelles next chapter. Just like how Valentino kind of appeared in this one?

**[Of Fishing and Ever Afters]** Yeah, I know... I don't copy-paste the accent symbols unless I forgot how to spell the name/word. For example, Feliks' and Tino's names have all of the symbols on theirs in earlier chapter, but not in the latest ones because I learned how to spell it, and I know how to spell those Spanish words, so I just type them. I should probably break that habit, since you're not the first person to notice it. Thanks for telling me, regardless, and you weren't a buzzkill at all. And yes! I'm glad you liked the new chapter and I'm sorry for not updating, I really am...

**[4evaFranify] **You're not the only person who has stayed up reading this, and I've kept myself awake due to a good fanfiction several times, so I feel you. No, she isn't. Maybe because she's TOO independent and abrasive and in control? You can only handle so much of it. Don't know about Mattie does it, she lives with the girl... _Matilda Williams_: _Easy. Patience, a calm demeanor and earbuds. _Excellent strategy! Works on any annoying sibling! (It truly does. I have two.)

**[Alice Barden]** It's fine! At least you got it. Fortunately for you, I'm a wimp at killing off other's characters. I can't do it, it feels very cruel to me and I don't feel as if I'm worthy to do so. My own... different story. I can slaughter my own left and right and not care. Makes me wonder if something's wrong with me...

**[Map of The Stars]** I know, right? [/chuckles] I love the guy, he's adorable. And ha. I actually found some decent fem!Cuba artwork, although yeah, she WOULD be kind of scary. She'd be like Korra from LoK. And I'm doing that, because I've had several requests for Brynja/Amelia. Americe for the win, baby. And lol, nope. Can't just tell you, it's too easy. But I am really happy you picked up on that, and next time you review, please, spill me your theories I want to hear them. They sound tres interesting~ _Chernenko Braginski: ... Don't give her ideas on making our lives hell. Please don't._

**[Lalliley]** _General Winter: I'm not violent... Destructive force just solves my problems. People dropping dead solves my problems. People suddenly turning up dead solves my problems. I can't help that my life is complicated and requires radical decisions. And I have a therapist actually. He's free and lives with me. _Gen, your brother doesn't count. _General Winter: Yes he does, he's very theruputic. Besides my therapy is solving the problem, and if that's how it wants to be solved, that's how it's going to be solved... ;) _Oh, and about Ameripan... at the time this fic takes place, Ameripan is a past pairing: it's already happened. But I can totally throw in some fanservice for you. :) It's a really sweet pairing, even if it's not one of my absolute favorites. And it's partially canon in the Nyotalia universe, apparently Fem!Japan has some sort of complicated yearning for Nyo!America. Word for word from Hima-papa's notes too.

**[andthenshesaid] **o_o Sorry for the headache. You don't have to keep track of all of them, they were to provide backstory: although they may return... I'm considering having Leticia play Facebook messager like Antonio did this arc since next time they go to the Bonnefoy House Toni's going back. Or possibly Raquel. It's a work in progress, I'll have to think about it. _Amelia F. Jones: __That's my job! Be awesome and make y'all laugh. :D_

**[SlyFoxofPeanutButter]** Well, y'know how some phone can act as the wireless hotspot? Yeah. That phone is Gilbert's. That's why they have wi-fi in an abandoned house, although the house is kept up and used as a museum now, it's a bit out of the way and not many people know about it. It's a pretty decent secret... until Antonio found it. And yeah, pretty much. It's like having walkie-talkies but... it's your phone instead. It's so that way they can keep with each other, although honestly they could have just texted for that.

**[Harry Potter]** _Maiken Bondevik: ... I can't believe I almost thought you were Harry Potter for a second... I really did. Andersen is rubbing off on me, stupid asshole. Yes, that's a mistake to be fixed... Dalca has a LOT of things she needs to go back and fix, actually. _

**[I Shall Bite Ya]** Wow, thanks a lot. Stupid Google Translate. _ I will totally edit, grazie. I have a TON of editing to do. Well, to be honest, my favorite Bad Touch Trio character is Spain because in my Hetalia group I'm Fem!Spain. But I totally see why you'd think it would be Gilbert, I give him some serious spotlight. That'll be toned down a bit next arc, it's more about Jeanette and Antonio than Gilbert in that one. Ah, thank you! I tried to be completely serious about the first ones, and then I realized that some of Himaruya's canon names have some little flaws to them: like Vargas is a Spanish last name, Toris is used in Lithuania, but it's more widely used as a dog's name, and Braginski has a Polish root, to be truly Russian, it should be Braginsky with a y. So, I think I've started to take up on some of those habits... like Remus for example. It's a Romanian name, both part ares, but Remus is a name more popularly associated with wolves and Anghelescu means "angel". He's obviously neither.

**[pengirl100and2]** As long as you like it, I'm happy!

(I think that's every review I haven't yet gotten to... I hope...)

* * *

**chapter thirty-two** :: two-faced lovers [_miku hatsune_]

- saturday, september 6th

* * *

**Peter Kirkland **_is now friends with _**Valentino Vargas**.

* * *

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland **|| **Valentino Vargas**: How long have you had a Facebook?!

**Valentino Vargas**: Um... about two weeks?

**Peter Kirkland**: ... I am so pissed at you.

**Valentino Vargas**: Peter~... why?!

**Peter Kirkland**: BeCAUSE you added a bunch of random girls before ME! Seriously! You added that Spanish guys' cousins!

**Valentino Vargas**: Aren't they hot though? Especially the Brazilian one. ;D

**Peter Kirkland**: Uh-huh, sure are. XD But. Noooooo. THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT, VAL. DX

**Peter Kirkland**: Look at your friends list! You added TAMARA. I DON'T LIKE TAMARA.

**Peter Kirkland**: And O-M-G. You added Sascha-Gero before me too! Vallllll...

**Valentino Vargas**: Don't be jealous, Petey... I'm like my brothers, I like pretty women. It's my weakness. The Kyptonite to my Superman. The porn to my wild teenage hormones.

**Valentino** **Vargas**: And Sascha-Gero doesn't count! He's a manly man.

**Peter Kirkland**: -_- LE SIGH. That is the worst excuse EVER.

**Peter Kirkland**: And I AM manlier than Sascha-Gero and would be even if I pranced around in a fucking tutu and a tiara and BRAIDED MY HAIR.

**Peter Kirkland**: He braids his hair, man!

**Valentino Vargas**: Oh... don't be like that... come on Petey. You'll always be my PK Love!

**Peter Kirkland**: Gyah... Earthbound references... Must. Resist. Adorable. Nickname...

**Valentino Vargas**: Because you are the WIND BENEATH MYYYYYYY WINGSSSSSS!

**Peter Kirkland**: Uh-uh. Still resisting.

**Valentino Vargas**: Oh, I'm addicted to you~ Insert random Spanish here... Baby, I'm addicted to you~ Insert more random Spanish here!

**Peter Kirkland**: Really, Val? Shakira?

**Valentino Vargas**: Simple and clean is the WAY you'll be making me feel~... TONIGHT~!

**Peter Kirkland**: AW MAN. You know I can't resist Kingdom Hearts... :(

**Peter Kirkland**: And WHY are you serenading me via Facebook anyway? Seriously?

**Valentino Vargas**: Because I can. You're not still mad at me, right?

**Peter Kirkland**: Nah... Y'know I can't stay mad at you. [/hugs]

**Valentino Vargas**: [/hugs] ^.^

* * *

**Hendrik van der Meer **_has shared a video on his wall._

**(Mobile) Hendrik van der Meer**: This is gold.

**Anri van der Meer**: HENDRIK. YOU DIDN'T.

**Hendrik van der Meer**: I did.

**Anri van der Meer**: OMG. I love you brother, but you're crazy.

**Arthur Kirkland**: What the hell is that.

**Andersen Densen**: THAT, is Adrian flipping shit, my dear Kirkland. It's elementary, you know.

[**Elizabeta Hedervary **_and _**2** _others like this_]_  
_

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: You are such a Sherlock Holmes fanboy!

**Andersen Densen**: Well, I didn't feel like going onto Tumblr for a yaoi fan fiction, so I popped in A Game Of Shadows instead.

[**Brynja Stilesson** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**Brynja Stilesson**: Invite me next time: I haven't seen it yet.

**Tino Vainamoinen**: Yes you have!

[**Berwald Oxenstierna **_likes this_]

**Brynja Stilesson**: What? Can't watch it again?

**Andersen Densen**: LOL. Sure thing sweetie. Wanna join too, Maiken?

**Maiken Bondevik**: Hell no.

**Andersen Densen**: Aww, fine... :(

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: HENDRIK. What IS this video?

**Hendrik van der Meer**: Unfortunately I didn't catch what comes before, but whenever Amelia came in, Ivan kissed her.

[**Laima Lauriniatis **_and _**10 **_others like this_]

**Peter Kirkland**: CONfirmed. I'm there!

**(Mobile) Jeanette Bonnefoy**: Seriously?!

[**Lule Adnan** _likes this_]

**Lule Adnan**: Why so happy, Jean? ;D

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I am just in shock: you're talking about Ivan. As in Braginski. With Amelia. As in Jones.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: It's odd.

**Madara Galante**: V-Very...

**Hendrik van der Meer**: Adrian had great timing and walked in right as Ivan and Amelia pulled apart... cue the screaming.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Oh WOW. I knew it, I was talking to Birdie about this earlier today.

**Hendrik van der Meer**: ?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Well, Adrian's been kind of crushing on the girl and it's starting to get, like, obvious. But THIS just proves it.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: GILBERT! Are you alright? Where have you been?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: M'fine... doctors want to keep me overnight for observation and crap like that, but I'll be out tomorrow.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: How are you texting, mon l'amour...?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Sneaked it. xD

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_and _**13** _others like this_]

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Wow. I watched it again... and if you listen REALLY closely right before Adrian stops yelling for the first time, you can hear Ivan speak. Know what he says?

**Lule Adnan**: What?

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Ivan told Adrian to, and I quote, "CALM HIS TITS." And then he starts yelling at him again. I think that's when Hendrik had to restrain him. XD

[**Peter Kirkland** _and _**16** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: HE DID. FUCKIN' AWESOME.

**Andersen Densen**: LOL, poor Adrian. I'mma invite him over for a movie or something later.

**Peter Kirkland**: Just don't stop tonguing him on the couch or anything. I'm pretty sure Lovino and that jackass are doing THAT now.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ARE NOT.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh! That reminds me!

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve~! Peter Kirkland~

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: Yeah?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Welcome to Cupido Aiutanti, your expert Facebook matchmakers on the quest to bring about true love!

**Brynja Stilesson**: We've been doing some observing and we've noticed your matchmaking skills.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: And like, we've just gotta have you. :)

**Lule Adnan**: That, and Kiku Honda recommended you. He's a member too, and it takes some serious skill to impress him.

**Peter Kirkland**: Cool! So we hook people up? But are we seriously hooking people up, or is this like, a joke?

**Feliciano Vargas**: It's very serious, Peter! We want to find them good relationships, and maybe, just maybe, they'll truly fall in love~!

**Kiku Honda**: We have eight members so far... me, Feliciano, Brynja, Feliks, Lule, Jeanette, Elizabeta and Adrian. You will be the ninth.

**Peter Kirkland**: Aww, yeah.

**Peter Kirkland**: I'm in! I totally want to start some love!

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**7** _others like this_]

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Then it's settled. :D

* * *

**Feliks Lukasiewicz** || **Feliciano Vargas**: ... Um, Feli? Just realized somethin'.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Cosa?

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: We have QUITE a few projects on people in CA, don't we? And we just, like, added another one.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Note time~ Lemme see...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Oh yeah... Peter and Madara~!

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: That's not all. Adrian's now got a (according to Gilbert) crush on Amelia, Lule likes SOMEONE, Elizabeta isn't going to take Chantal's snarking for long and might react and THEN there's Jeanette and Arthur...

**Feliciano Vargas**: But... Jeanette doesn't mind us pairing Arthur with Lovino...

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Uh, Feli? You're like, totes adorable and all, but... yeah she does. She minds big time.

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: But that's the PROBLEM. Like, I don't think people want to deal with that triangle. Because I overhead Brynja chatting to Mei-Mei about it, and Mei-Mei was like, "To be honest, I don't like either of them." And I asked what she was talking about and she was like, "I'm talking about Amelia and Jeanette. You know, for Arthur? I don't think either of them would be good for him." And Brynja pulled me aside later and said that Mei made a LOT of sense.

**Feliciano Vargas**: No wonder no one's requested it yet... and no wonder everyone jumped on the Tsunderes Unite! mission...

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: They totally think a third option is best. I don't blame 'em. One's oblivious and the other's fickle.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve~ I'm going to consult Brynja and think about this... This is serious. Grazie for pointing it out to me!

**Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Anytime, broski. Anytime.

* * *

**(Mobile) Ivan Braginski**: Nikita and Matanya are sleeping~ it's so cute.

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _likes this_]

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Psst. IVAN. Bring Mattie, please? I just want to hold her.

**Ivan Braginski**: Da, will do. :)

* * *

**(Mobile) Ivan Braginski**: Okay. Bringing Matanya to Gilbert... not such a good idea. -_-

[**Ludwig Beilschmidt **_likes this_]

**(Mobile) Peter Kirkland**: This is Amelia. WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?!

**Ivan Braginski**: I picked her up and gave her to Gilbert, right? And she freaked because a certain American promised that no one would get hurt...~

**Peter Kirkland**: Amelia again... and I said no such thing!

**Ivan Braginski**: Really?

**Peter Kirkland**: ... Well, okay. M'ybe I told her something... just so she'd, y'know, chill...

**Ivan Braginski**: See? That was not so hard to say, now was it, Berwald? ^J^

**Peter Kirkland**: Yeah, maybe... HEY. REALLY?!

**Ivan Braginski**: I don't understand why you are so angry, Ameochka~

**(Mobile) Adrian Kirkland**: I dislike this whole damn conversation. -_-

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _and _**11 **_others like this_]

**Ivan Braginski**: Then why are you listening? ^^

[**Alannah Kirkland **_likes this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: Alannah, go fucking troll somewhere else. -_-

* * *

**Xiang Wang** || **(Mobile) Yong-Soo Im**: So the Hacker actually offed himself?

**Yong-Soo Im**: Cher-bear and I saw it all!

**Xiang Wang**: Like, WOW.

**Yong-Soo Im**: I know, right? And he wasn't even dramatic about it. He was just like, "Why do I bother? Why do I care? Oh, that's right. I don't." And he gave this freaky smile like out of some slasher film and BAM! He was gone.

**Xiang Wang**: Darn. I hate that I missed that.

**Yong-Soo Im**: I know... we need to have an adventure of our own. Just you, and me, and Mei-Mei and Aneki!

**Xiang Wang**: You've, like, forgotten the New Year's challenges already?

**Yong-Soo Im**: Pfft. I said an adventure, not something that might KILL me. Gee!

**Yong-Soo Im**: Oh~! Friend request, friend request~ Must accept this!

**Xiang Wang**: Yeesh. Good night.

* * *

**Yong-Soo Im** _is now friends with _**Nachalo Zima.**

**(Mobile) Yao Wang**: The hell is that person?

[**Xiang Wang **_and _**16** _others like this_]

* * *

**Imelda Suarez **_has joined the group _**APH**.

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: We officially welcome you into our AWESOME inner circle of insanity and chaos, Imelda! And no, you can't go back to normal-land. Once in AP, always in AP.

**(Mobile) Imelda Suarez**: I totally feel safe now. Gracias.

[**Omorose Hassan** _and _**2** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... Speaking of which... anyone heard from Antonio?

**Lule Adnan**: Nope. Not after we sent...

**Lule Adnan**: OI. We sent Hera to go look for him!

**Omorose Hassan**: It's okay. He's been found.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Seriously, where is he?

**Omorose Hassan**: At Hera's house. I'm outside by the pond... they're inside.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: ... I get it. Danke Omorose! Oh, and while we're at it...

* * *

**Omorose Hassan **_has joined the group _**APH**.

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Ta-da! Got you too.

**Omorose Hassan**: Lovely. :)

**(Mobile) Hera Karpusi**: Yay...

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Arthur Kirkland** || **Lovino Vargas**: Drive safely, okay?

**Lovino Vargas**: -sigh- I know how to drive, idiot...

**Arthur Kirkland**: And wear your safety belt.

**Lovino Vargas**: Alright, alright, I'm wearing the stupid thing. Happy?

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... And don't speed, for heaven's sake. You drive like a maniac.

**Lovino Vargas**: Oh. My. FUCKING. God. Can I just GO. HOME.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Fine.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Just don't let creepy people into your car, make sure you keep your door locked at all times, and adjust your mirrors, they're off.

**Lovino** **Vargas**: ... What the hell. I'm ignoring your ass.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... What's taking you so long to pull away, love?

**Lovino Vargas**: N-Nothing! J... Just adjusting these goddamn mirrors...

**Arthur Kirkland**: :)

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Nachalo Zima **|| **Yong-Soo Im**: Nice hanbok. ;)

**Yong-Soo Im**: Thanks! :D ... Wait. How do you know what I'm wearing?!

**Nachalo Zima**: Turn around, silly boy.

**Yong-Soo Im**: OH! Oh, oh, oh! Hi! Hi~!

**Nachalo Zima**: Want me to come in?

**Yong-Soo Im**: Of course! ... But how do you know where I live?

**Nachalo Zima**: You're in the phonebook.

**Yong-Soo Im**: Come on in! So you're the guy I've been talking to for the past hour!

**Nachalo Zima**: It will be a pleasure to get to know you better.

**Yong-Soo Im**: Same, da ze! And awesome, you came on the night I cooked! You hungry? I'll reheat it for you~

**Nachalo Zima**: That sounds delightful, thank you.

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Thanatos Winter** || **Nachalo Zima**: ... I'd say something witty but I'm still too busy trying to understand how LITTLE SENSE YOU MAKE.

**Nachalo Zima**: Shut up. Just shut up. I'm crushing, okay?

**Nachalo Zima**: Look at the boy, he's adorable.

**Thanatos Winter**: I see your one-way ticket to a lethal injection, not a boyfriend. Didn't you always tell me that love didn't exist?

**Nachalo Zima**: This is lust, not love.

**Thanatos Winter**: What-the-fuck-ever. Call me when you leave... if you leave that is.

**Nachalo Zima**: I'll capitilize on that possibility, yes I will. ;)

* * *

Do you all know what comes next? I know what comes next...~

Now, let me explain some things about this chapter before I launch a little more detail on the next arc. First off, we have the introduction of **Seborga**. He is my favorite micronation, yes he is. And don't worry, Sealand/Latvia fans. Seborga is by no means a distraction to the pairing: he's just there for some bromantic support. I'll most likely pair Seborga off with either the special character later to introduced in the All I Ever Wanted Arc, or Sascha-Gero.

Second off, we have Sascha-Gero, whose real title is **Kugelmugel.** Real name? Alexander Gero Beilschmidt, however, Sascha is a German diminuative for Alexander, and Sascha-Gero just sounds so... memetic. It's only hypnonated like that whenever his nickname is behind used because smashing it together into one word looked extremely off.

Third, on my profile now are little summaries to each arc - so now you know what to expect later on down the line. And... ah, I just realized that we have THREE serious arcs back-to-back-to-back. I'll need to slide something in there to break that up, because those particular three are probably the darkest out of ALL of them. Yeah. You're going to need a break.

So. We all know what comes after this, the arc you've all been waiting for: Tsunderes Unite! Now, this arc actually has a choice that could effect the ENTIRE story later on, but I'll save that choice until we get there. I just want to be well aware of that fact. Second, this might has well also be Cupido Aiutanti's arc, since this is their project, they're going to be around a LOT. Fortunately, this arc has two events that will included pretty much EVERYONE so far (a party and movie night: part two). So, yeah. The party could count as its own mini-arc really, because quite a few friendships are rocked by this event.

What can I say? I like to shake it up.

[**dalca has logged off**]


	33. sing me to sleep

"the internet killed the video star **"**

[**インターネットがビデオスターを殺した**]

an aph facebook fanfiction

* * *

**DISCLAIMER:**

Don't own Hetalia. You should already be well aware of that.

I also don't own the title. I got that from the song "The Internet Killed the Video Star".

Not much else to say, except enjoy.

Well, okay. One more thing: since writing my reviews tends to take up a LOT of words and gives me four thousand-word chapters when the story itself is actually about two thousand, I've got an idea. Instead of posting my responses here, I'll PM them unless it's an anon review.

... Wait, not yet done.

Because I have the slight tendency to hint at or reveal things, what I'm going to do instead is post a little summary of what I said to them so that way the rest of you don't miss something important AND you don't have to read through EVERY review wondering what I said. It's easier that way.

* * *

**lalliely**'s review was mostly about her request for AmeriPan: which is most definitely fulfilled in chapter 34, although she did wonder if Yong-Soo was going to be okay due to his run-in with General/Nachalo. Don't worry too much, kay? ;)

(See? I like this already...)

* * *

**chapter thirty-three** :: sing me to sleep [_emily browning_]

- monday, september 21st

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Arthur Kirkland. You better be at your damn house.

[**Peter Kirkland **_likes this_]

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: ... Why?

**Lovino Vargas**: ... W-Why? Did you fucking forget ALREADY?!

[**Feliks Lukasiewicz** _likes this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: ... Forget what?

[**Brynja Stilesson** _likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: ARTHUR. WHAT THE HELL.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Ah... of course. We were going out tonight, NOW I remember.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: ... I hate you, jackass. I'll be there in two minutes.

**Arthur Kirkland**: You shouldn't be Facebooking me and DRIVING, nitwit. Honestly. Have you got a scone in place of a brain?

[**Lule Adnan **_likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: Just shut up if you want to live. :\

**Arthur Kirkland**: Really... Are you hear to pick me up or to mow my lawn, Vargas?

[**Adrian Kirkland **_likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: Would you rather have me mow your lawn or mow you over? Pick one.

[**Elizabeta Hedervary **_likes this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Can I take a third option?

[**Kiku Honda **_likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: GET. IN. MY. CAR.

**Arthur Kirkland**: I'm fixing my hair, hold on a minute...

**Lovino Vargas**: That bleached loon's nest you call hair is BEYOND HELP. Now GET - THE HELL - IN.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Bleached loon's nest? I could come up with a better insult on my deathbed.

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_likes this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: That's it.

**Arthur Kirkland**: You SODDING WANKER. Come anywhere near me and I will SHOVE that scone you use for a brain UP. YOUR. ASS.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**8** _others like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: You are such a little bitch, just shut up and deal.

**Lovino Vargas**: AND YOUR HAIR'S FINE.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming...

[**Feliciano Vargas** _likes this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: :3 I bet you A~R~E~

[**Adrian Kirkland **_and _**8** _others like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: GET OFF MY DAMN WALL. DX

**Arthur Kirkland**: IDIOT. YOU'RE DRIVING. =_=

* * *

**Berwald Oxenstierna **|| **Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ... Is Tino with Feliciano today?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Ja, he is... misplaced him or something?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: I was talking to him over Skype and he suddenly vanished, and I started to worry...

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: You have nothing to worry about. He's in good hands.

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: ... Although I wonder if they're actually studying...

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Sigh. I doubt it.

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Well, I suppose I'll finish this later, it's giving me a headache...

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: ?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: The study guide for this chapter's exam. I haven't found half of these answers yet.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: You're looking in the book, aren't you. The book doesn't help, the answers are mostly in his lectures.

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: So the entire class is destined to fail, because I doubt anyone actually listens to him.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Exactly. If I visit you, I could help you locate the answers. Is that alright with you?

**Berwald Oxenstierna**: Sure. ... See you in twenty.

* * *

**(Mobile) Gilbert Beilschmidt**: HOME ALONE~ - With Hendrik van der Meer and Adrian Kirkland.

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: That is NOT alone Gilbert. That is most certainly not alone.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Well, Hendrik isn't here YET. He should be here in like, five minutes tops. Adrian is though!

**(Mobile) Ludwig Beilschmidt**: Don't make me regret leaving you two alone. -_-

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: I see nothing regrettable about leaving Adrian alone with Gilbert, Ludwig...

**Adrian Kirkland**: Of course you don't, lass. Of course you don't. xD

* * *

**(Mobile) Hendrink van der Meer**: That awkward moment when you go over your friend's house and they're in the middle of a condom-throwing war.

[**Gilbert Beilschmidt** _and_ **12** _others like this_]

**Adrian Kirkland**: He started it!

**Jeanette Bonnefoy**: That's right, Gil, take initiative~

[**Antonio Carriedo **_and _**1** _other like this_]

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: The second like says it all.

**Matilda Williams**: ... What are you talking about now, Arthur?

**Adrian Kirkland**: I see it! XD

**Matilda Williams**: I just liked a comment. -_-

[**Hendrik van der Meer** _and _**3** _others like this_]

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: You should have moved! I was throwing them at Ludwig!

**Feliciano Vargas**: ... Why~?

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Because he said he was going to Berwald's house so I chucked a few at him. He always tells ME I need to stay safe, and so does he! :D

[**Jeanette Bonnefoy **_and _**2** _others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: Silly Gilly, that's not what he means!

**Adrian Kirkland**: NICKNAME. ACQUIRED.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt**: Gottverdammit, WHY?!

**Feliciano Vargas**: :D

* * *

**Matilda Williams** || **(Mobile) ****Arthur Kirkland**: Arthur, really? That's not necessary!

**Arthur Kirkland**: It is. Honestly, I don't see what's taking you so long to admit it.

**Matilda Williams**: It's not exactly easy to bring up in conversation...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, you had no problem telling me.

**Matilda Williams**: You said it first! That, and... he's kind of intimidating.

**Arthur Kirkland**: And I'm not?

**Matilda Williams**: Not anymore, now that I actually know you... but you were.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Matilda, you dated Hendrik didn't you? For a short while? If that isn't be able to handle intimidation, I'm not entirely sure what else is.

**Matilda Williams**: Still easier said than done! And besides, why are you giving me advice when you can't listen to it yourself?

**Arthur Kirkland**: What do you mean?

**Matilda Williams**: How are you solving your dilemma? You're out at a theme park with Lovino Vargas. That's not handling it, that's running, Arthur. I thought that was something you would never do.

**Arthur Kirkland**: It's an extremely complex, situation, Matilda... it needs to be handled delicately and I'm terrified I'll louse it all up in some way.

**Matilda Williams**: But you're not handling it at all. You've just left it there to roll off and shatter on its own. You're really smart, Arthur and you're a great strategist. You can make it work out for the best, I know it.

**Arthur Kirkland**: ...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright, now I have to see you. Busy tomorrow?

**Matilda Williams**: I shouldn't be. Where do you want to meet?

**Arthur Kirkland**: Your house?

**Matilda Williams**: Sure. :)

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas** || **Brynja Stilesson**: Report?

**Brynja Stilesson**: Remember that movie date Andersen and I had planned? Maiken IS going after all.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Really?

**Brynja Stilesson**: Yeah. Concidentally, that will also be the day I'll have a wardrobe crisis and have to be very fashionably late...

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ooh, you're good~

**Brynja Stilesson**: So. Anything else for today?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Got a hot date for tonight, Brynja...?

**Brynja Stilesson**: ... Why?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve. No reason...~ XD

**Brynja Stilesson**: O_o

* * *

**(Mobile) Brynja Stilesson** || **Amelia F. Jones**: A-Amelia...?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Hey Bryn! What's up?

**Brynja Stilesson**: I... Ineedyoutogoonadatewithme.

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... Whu-huh?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Wait, wait, wait... Brynja. Brynja Valdis Stilesson. Are you asking me out?

**Brynja Stilesson**: I'll explain when I get there. Just... can you?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Um... yeah, sure... why, did Maiken say no?

**Brynja Stilesson**: I - I didn't ask.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Did Xiang say no?

**Brynja Stilesson**: ... You're the first person I asked, Amelia...

**Amelia F. Jones**: O_O

**Amelia F. Jones**: Um, okay... I'll see you in a little bit, then?

**Brynja Stilesson**: Y-Yeah. Sure.

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Amelia F. Jones** || **Brynja Stilesson**: Seriously? THAT'S why you asked me out?

**Brynja Stilesson**: You don't mind, do you?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Nope! I love the boardwalk... although why we have to spy on Arthur with his boy toy is beyond me.

**Brynja Stilesson**: ... You don't like it, do you?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Not really... I mean, Arthur can do what he wants but I seriously don't enjoy the fact that they're... whatever they are.

**Amelia F. Jones**: It's so weird... I feel all incest-y because I've known the guy for FOREVER, he grew up with me, and I've always said he's like my brother, and... I don't know, it's just weird, Bryn.

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... You're there, right? 'Cause I hate rambling to myself.

**Brynja Stilesson**: I think this is your neighborhood, isn't it?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Hang on, I see a person by a spotlight. Looks like you. I'mma check through my binoculars~

**Brynja Stilesson**: I see you in the window.

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... Yeah ... I see you too. Nice, um. Nice dress.

**Brynja Stilesson**: Maiken forced me into it. I feel like a present... look at this bow. It's huge and stupid and on my head. -_-

**Amelia F. Jones**: I think it's adorable. Honest.

**Brynja Stilesson**: Glad you do. I certainly don't.

**Amelia F. Jones**: Alright, well, I'm ready when you are...

* * *

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones** || **Elizabeta Hedervary**: I need your help. Big time.

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Sure, what's up?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Okay. Brynja and I are going to the boardwalk right? And um... she's freaking adorable.

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: I'm not understanding you...

**Amelia F. Jones**: Guys, Eliza. I. LIKE. GUYS. But... she's... majorly distracting...

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Hang on, just a second Lia... I'll be right back. :)

* * *

**Elizabeta Hedervary **|| **Feliciano Vargas**: FELICIANO! Your recon mission turned into a side project! :D

**Feliciano Vargas**: O_O How?

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Amelia's totally having a schoolgirl crush moment on Brynja. RIGHT. NOW.

**Feliciano Vargas**: See~? I told Brynja she was sexy in that dress!

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Send reinforcements?

**Feliciano Vargas**: On it!

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas **|| **Kiku Honda**: Honda~ Grab your camera. :D

**Kiku Honda**: Your wish is my command, Feli-kun. ^^

* * *

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: What the hell is Honda doing here?

**(Mobile) Kiku Honda**: It is simply good fortune that brings us to the same place, Aiku.

[**Lule Adnan** _and_ **8** _others__like this_]

**Arthur Kirkland**: Well, it's nice to have someone sane around...

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: ... Jerkass. For that, you owe me a ride on The Blue Falcon.

**Arthur Kirkland**: How many times did I say no?

**Lovino Vargas**: Sorry. No's not in my vocabulary.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Oh really...

**Arthur Kirkland**: Want to have sex with me?

[**Feliciano Vargas **_and _**18** _others like this_]

**Mei Wang**: That's an offer you can't refuse!

**Feliciano Vargas**: Literally~!

[**Mei Wang** _and _**13** _others like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: ...

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Say it...

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Like, come on already Lovi!

**Antonio Carriedo**: NO.

[**Elizabeta Hedervary **_and _**10 **_others like this_]

**Ivan Braginski**: ^ Cock-blocked. :D

[**Amelia F. Jones **_and _**7** _others like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: O-Of course I was going to say no! W-What the hell else were you freaks THINKING? S-S-Stupid fuckers...

**Kiku Honda**: ... That you would say yes?

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**18** _others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Brynja Stilesson**: Is on The Blue Falcon with Arthur, Amelia, Kiku and Lovino.

[**Maiken Bondevik **_and _**14** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: I hate you, Lovino.

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Don't say shit you don't mean then!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Now who said I didn't mean that?

[**Feliciano Vargas**_ and _**7** _others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: This is so amazing right now I could squeal...!

**Tino Vainamoinen**: You are squealing. ^_^

* * *

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Didn't know people could turn that shade of green...

[**Adrian Kirkland** _and _**6** _others like this_]

**Lovino Vargas**: Ow! Bastard! He kicked me! He'd talk if he wasn't hurling everything he's eaten today.

**Lovino Vargas**: ... I'mma check on him... just in case. So he doesn't choke... and die, or some stupid shit like that...

[**Brynja Stilesson **_and _**8**_ others like this_]

* * *

**(Mobile) Brynja Stilesson **|| **Feliciano Vargas**: He just bolted off to go check on Arthur.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Excellent~

**Brynja Stilesson**: Kiku's recording it on his camera so he can show the rest of CA later too.

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve... Sorry! I got so happy I fell out of the chair~ That's amazing!

* * *

**(Mobile/Mobile) Amelia F. Jones** || **Lovino Vargas**: The hell is taking you two so long?

**Lovino Vargas**: Nothing, Arthur's just got to get his bearings back together...

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... Mm-hm.

* * *

**(Mobile) Kiku Honda**: ... They really went in there...

**(Mobile) Feliks Lukasiewicz**: Um, went in where, Kiku?

**Kiku Honda**: Ame-chan figured that the two of them were taking way too long in the men's bathroom... so she grabbed Brynja and dragged her in there with her to see what they were actually doing.

**Adrian Kirkland**: Find anything? XD

**Kiku Honda**: Sadly, no... except Lovino's unwavering concern, which is rather touching.

[**Feliciano Vargas** _and _**8** _others like this_]

**Feliciano Vargas**: Okay, I'mma roll around on the floor in happiness now, ve~

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas** _is now friends with _**Romano Lotario.**

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: Feli, who is that?

**Feliciano Vargas**: He's my special FB friend~!

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas** || **Romano Lotario**: It's September 21st, and I made you today, Romano~! You're like my Internet diary since I'm on Facebook a lot anyway and hiding an actual diary in this house is just asking for it, ve.

**Feliciano Vargas**: You're my Secret Keeper, okay~? So if I have something to say, you can't tell everyone. It's just between us. All you have to do is listen and not tell, that's not hard is it, Roma? I named you after my grandfather and I named you after him, because they can't talk to me any longer and you still can. You'll be them for me.

**Feliciano Vargas**: I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship Roma-Lota...!

* * *

**(Mobile) Amelia F. Jones**: GODDAMNIT!

[**Lovino Vargas** _and _**11** _others like this_]

**(Mobile) Lovino Vargas**: You're not hurt or anything are you?!

**Amelia F. Jones**: o_o You're paranoid, bro. Arthur got you all nervous or something?

**Lovino Vargas**: N-No!

**Elizabeta Hedervary**: Liar! We can tell from here!

[**Peter Kirkland** _and _**15** _others like this_]

**Amelia F. Jones**: And no, I'm not...

**(Mobile) Arthur Kirkland**: Then what is it?

**Amelia F. Jones**: Just, home... I want to go home, Arthur Kirkland, take me home. Now. Please.

**Lovino Vargas**: Well, excuse me Princess. You want us to drop what we're doing and escort you around like we're your fucking drivers?

**Amelia F. Jones**: ... You know what Lovino, fuck you. I'll walk home.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Are you serious right now, Lovino? She's obviously upset and you don't have to be such a little bitch to everyone.

**Lovino Vargas**: I'm NOT a little bitch, jackass! I was going to say that it was FINE - she FUCKING overreacted!

**Arthur Kirkland**: Keep telling yourself that. Amelia, wait a second, I'll drive you back.

**Lovino Vargas**: ... Wait, where did Brynja go?

**Amelia F. Jones**: She left, okay? She. FUCKING. Left. And fine. I'm heading towards the pier anyway.

**Arthur Kirkland**: Alright... you can stay if you want, Lovino.

**Lovino Vargas**: Shut up. I'm coming too, wanker.

* * *

**Andersen Densen**: What's wrong with my baby? :(

[**Adrian Kirkland** _likes this_]

**Tino Vainamoinen**: ?

**Feliciano Vargas**: Ve, what's going on? I haven't heard from Brynja in a while...

**Andersen Densen**: Dunno... she won't talk to Maiken and the girl's been trying for hours. And NO one's heard from Amelia, Arthur and Lovino. Whatever went down at that boardwalk went DOWN.

**Feliciano Vargas**: And Kiku's completely confused. He leaves the group for five minutes to go see a performer, he comes back and he's already missed it. But I haven't heard from him since then.

**(Mobile) Hendrik van der Meer**: And Gilbert and I were talking to Matilda just a few moments before Amelia came home, and we haven't heard a thing from her since then. She's still online, she just never came back and we've been staring at the screen waiting for her too. Gilbert's starting to freak.

**Feliciano Vargas**: And I thought I was going to be able to get a normal amount of sleep tonight...

* * *

This chapter contains so much foreshadowing in it, it's ridiculous. I almost can't explain why it's foreshadowing because I'll spoil the story, but I'll tell you what is foreshadowing. (There is ONE thing I can't mention however...)

First, Roma-Lota. Romano Lotario is Feliciano's Facebook diary, which he'll use from time-to-time and because EXTREMELY important in his arc, All I Ever Wanted. Roma-Lota is a diary, and yet he's probably the third most important character in that entire arc. Honestly. And I know that a lot of people use Romulus as a name from Grandpa Rome, however, I always had this little head canon about Feliciano giving him an Italian version of the name to call him by, just like how Amelia gave Matilda her name, which is Romano. The reason Lovino/South Italy takes the name Italy Romano is in respect for his grandfather. Once I get to the Italies on my head canon section on my profile, I'll have it spelled out in detail.

Second, Berwald suddenly being friendly with Ludwig. Not only was this requested of me (several times, I think), but Berwald and Ludwig both have someone they deeply care about heading into a dangerous situation in two seperate arcs, so their bonding now will just be strengthened later.

Third, the reason why Arthur and Lovino seem so constantly ticked off with the other one in this one... well, if you had to deal with someone as equally stubborn as you are, you'd grow quite annoyed. Both of them have a temper? Even more of an issue. While I do love the relationship between the two, it can turn VERY quickly into a Masochism Tango a la Greece and Turkey and those types of relationships aren't exactly healthy... and this is showing that.

Fourth, Brynja and Amelia. This has been requested of me numerous times, but realizing that I've already set up Amelia has being straight, this added a possibility I couldn't ignore. And won't, as you'll see next chapter. The beginning may be serious, but the ending will be much more light-hearted, as will the chapters after it... right up until the mini-party arc, which is going to be listed the second I post this.

Fifth, Brynja herself. The dress in itself is foreshadowing, and I'll leave it at that - it gives away too much. But holy cow: This chapter is FILLED with it.

See you next chapter then~

**Arthur Kirkland**: If Dalca hasn't scared you off with the massive wall of text of course...

... Don't you have an Italian to woo? -_-

... Exactly, Arthur. Exactly. XD


End file.
